Silently Sleeping

Liz pointed out in a comment that I tend to post at 11:59pm. She asked if it was coincidental or if I timed it. It’s usually a bit of both. I usually blog very late at night, and the clock has struck eleven by the time I start writing. Is it something about the eleventh hour, perhaps? Perhaps the fact that I feel like it’s those moments just before the end of the day, or perhaps I like the quietness of blogging at this particular time, or perhaps the eleventh hour just so happens to be a reference to Doctor Who.

Either way, I find myself writing blog posts this late, just out of habit, and I am in such a rush to post it before midnight so the date will not change. Usually I have a few distractions around this time too, having to pack up the kitchen and lock up the house and pretty much get ready for bed and all that fun stuff. What has also become a habit is blogging every second day, though I’ve been known to kick that a few times due to personal problems or time constraints – just being busy overall.

What ties in with all of this is sleep, which I’ve been trying to get more of lately. Before I did my winter class for photography, I had a one-week break. I honestly slept as much as I could throughout this entire week. I don’t normally nap unless I just doze off on the train on the way to or from university, but that week, I napped every single day. I napped for two hours in the evening and when I went to bed, I didn’t use an alarm and slept right until I woke up. I didn’t give a care in the world about going on the internet. Normally, I want to use the internet and sit on my computer for long hours (as I do! /um) but that entire week, I just relaxed.

Naturally, this morning I was irritated when I woke up before my alarm and instead of getting up and starting my day, I just lay there staring at the ceiling and checking my phone from time to time because I was too lazy to get up. I could have watched a movie and had breakfast in the time I was lying there between waking up and actually getting the fuck up. 😐

They say that lack of sleep stunts your growth, and I don’t know how long I’ve been having shit sleeping patterns, but I’ve been pretty short most of my life. When I was a lot younger I actually got a lot of sleep. I wouldn’t sleep past 10:00pm – that time was considered very late up until I was 14, really – and I would wake up at 8:00am because I didn’t have to catch a bus and I lived somewhat close to the school.

In high school, I was actually crazy enough to wake up at 6:00am (which was early for me!) and check my email and use the internet before breakfast. After some time, I couldn’t depend on my parents all the time to drive me to school, so I caught a bus halfway and then walked. It took about an hour to travel altogether, and I actually enjoyed it, but that meant getting up early and getting ready early. I’m not sure how much sleep I lived on, but my sleeping patterns have just become increasingly worse. Since university started, out of convenience I’ve had to leave home very early with my brother as he goes to school and it takes him a while. On days when he didn’t have school I would just snatch the opportunity to leave at a later time and I’d sleep in for that extra half hour or so. I value sleep a lot more now, and I attempt to sleep more, but I don’t ever attempt to sleep earlier. I suck. I actually like my mornings, and I should just go back to all of that early morning stuff, and try not to be so addicted to the internet.

I like the internet, but I sort of miss how it used to be, like back in 2001. It used to be more close-knit, less idiots were around, it seemed quieter, no one ever judged anybody, there weren’t trolls, it wasn’t cynical – and I could just be exaggerating but it was different. It’s beside the point, but what I’m trying to say is that I am really not going to let it eat up my life, particularly with all my websites! πŸ˜› So, having dumped five domains in the past few months, I’m ready to ditch another two. I can’t keep everything constantly updated, and I want to have a greater focus on less projects (instead of scattered focus over so many).

I really embrace change these days. It’s just that routine sucks – I hate routine, and I like to believe that variety is the spice of life.

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