I hate attachments.
Not the attachments in email. I know they take up a lot of room, and when you’re attaching a large photo, it takes a long time for it to attach, and even longer to send. You do have to admit that email attachments are a gem, though.
I mean emotional attachment.
I still have my Memory Box I mentioned in a previous post. It’s just a little box where I keep little memoirs and things. I don’t bother looking into it. I didn’t have a great past, and I just wanted to forget it, but I don’t know why these little things mean so much to me that I have to keep them.
I get attached to things easily. It is almost embarrassing. When James and I used to go out and eat gelato a lot, I kept all the spoons. I’d wash them and clean them but I’d keep them all. Not the way my mum reuses plastic spoons like normal spoons after cleaning them – but I’d just keep them for memory’s sake. They’re still sitting in a freaking container in my room.
Mind you, the container is from a bunch of walnuts James gave me.
Which I ate during my final exams in high school.
(Yes, we were allowed to eat during exams.)
I stopped collecting the spoons after some time. I felt like it was silly. But when it comes to more personal things, like letters, they’re things I keep. In fact, taking a peek in my Memory Box, I spotted quite a great deal of them.
It’s a little like Christmas cards and birthday cards I got throughout high school. I tossed them all in a bag and I keep them. I just simply cannot bring myself to get rid of them. Sometimes I think, “Hmm, I just keep all the stuff that means a lot to me, it’s no big deal”.
That’s when I realise I have a lot of junk in my room that doesn’t mean anything to me. School textbooks. Old CDs of music I barely even like anymore.
The worst I found – the other day I found a binder full of biology, physics, chemistry and senior science notes. They were insanely neat. Maybe that’s why I kept them, even if I have no use for them now.
Most of you know me as the girl with many domains. And too many fanlistings. /um
Today, I closed the fanlisting for Krist Novoselic. My first closed fanlisting. I made the decision because I don’t feel like I’m much of a fan of him anymore, and because that is one of my least liked fanlistings. I have over 100, so I felt like it was time to close one.
It was wrenching – as lame as it sounds. I have an attachment to all of my websites that when it’s time to let one go, even though I know it’s the right decision… it will almost never be the right time. Sometimes I just have to bite the bullet and freaking do it.
I think that applies to more than just emotional attachment. /pow