Blue Skies Bring Tears

The winner of the writing section of the domain competition is Lish.

She was very closely followed by Diamond and Joyce. There were nine judges and points were given to each contestant depending on their rank (best to worst) as determined by each individual judge.

I will email the winners tomorrow. First place wins a .info domain with hosting and second and third place win forms of advertising offered by Becca and I.

The new caption competition is also up.

I’m sorry I’m so out of it today. For starters, I’m not in the greatest of moods – yet again. 😞

My sore throat is feeling better. Thank you to those who wished me well. I’ve got a bit of a stomachache now though; I think I had a rather large dinner.

It was daylight savings today, so the clocks were moved forward by an hour. Not very good. I didn’t get enough sleep last night, and the loss of time due to daylight savings was something I adjusted to quickly, but that I definitely did not like.

Sigh. So I attempted to do my assignment again. I did not get very far. I wrote about 200 more words in my report and moved along with my search for records, but then I got distracted by Photoshop. I’m angry at myself. 😡

I did get awarded a credit in one of my assignments (the result was sent by email). I was a bit disappointed because I had actually failed (or completed unsatisfactorily) two parts of the assignment and they “pulled my grade down”. I looked like I did so well in the other parts though. Oh well, at least I know where to improve. 🙂

I’m feeling terrible right now. I had to go to church today. I don’t like going to church, because, to be honest, I am losing my faith. As a child, I really, honestly, truly believed in God. And since I was ten years old, I was saying prayers every night, praying that God would pull my family back together.

It never happened. Almost a decade later, I’ve given up. For eight years I’ve been saying the same prayer. The exact same prayer. I have not had a better relationship with my parents. I have not been guided through these tough years of depression and of pain.

I’ve lost touch. In my heart and in my head I will always respect people’s opinions on religion, but this, this is how I feel right now.

I feel broken-hearted in this way. I’ve went through this, and now I’ve found myself, but knowing I’ve done it alone, and only I know myself better than anyone.

My parents made me go out to buy dinner today just so they could save money by me using an extra coupon. I was pissed off because I had already changed into my pyjamas and had to head out again. I then ate too much and now I feel sick.

My assignments are due in over a week but I want to do them before I go back to university. I’m tired of being told by parents what to do. Part of it is that I’m eighteen and I should be given some sort of lenience. Part of it, is that this is how it’s been for so long.

I’ve found myself, alone. But as I journey on, I want to take people with me, so I, and they, won’t be alone.

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