Throttling, Unthrottling

I still feel like total crap. I never do this, but today I ate comfort food. I suck. I never do this… honestly. If I feel crap the last thing I want to do is eat. But well, I ate jelly beans.

When I went to buy a ticket early this morning at the train station so I could use it to go to work later, the ticket machine ate my money. Yeah, I know it was only $2.20 but it still pissed me off. It didn’t give my money back when I hit “cash return”. I know that money isn’t a lot at all, but when you’re not even feeling well, such little things irritate you and you generally have one of two options: 1) yell and scream and rant the fucking shit out, or 2) ignore it, just move on.

I got to see James at university today. There was some event for the More organisation and they had free food everywhere. It wasn’t proper food, just cakes and sweets and some fudge. They also served coffee. I didn’t have any of the cakes because… well, I figured they’d have gluten in them. I haven’t eaten anything with gluten for a few days. I’m getting kind of used to it, but I don’t think I can live on potatoes and rice all the time. Sure beats bread, though. I’m sick of bread and sick of it making me feel sick.

I’m pretty proud of myself for making my own mashed potatoes. I guess I underestimated how easy it was… it’s easy alright. I just boiled potatoes and added salt and pepper, and some shallots and carrots. It’s probably the food I’m most proud of making. I don’t cook much as it is. Hah. I gave some to James and as I was nommin’ the rest of it on the train I kind of wished I’d given him more. He ate my boiled carrots though. (Y) ♥️

We walked the stairs after taking some jelly beans. We walked from level 3 to level 30 again. On the way down I suggested we just walk to the bottom and come back up. We weren’t really planning to take the stairs down… but it was a good workout, haha. It’s horrid trying to walk down stairs after you’ve walked all the way up them. I almost felt like my knees were going to buckle under my weight but I soon got used to it. When we reached level 3 we were actually really surprised to realise that there were no more stairs; the stairs stopped at level three. Must have something to do with the university being half on a hill and underground and other weird crap, because there was just one flight of stairs down from level three that led to an exit. O_O

When I got home today I just got really upset. I got really upset at how ill I felt and this stupid problem with my loaded/full colon, and I just really wanted to go to the doctor. I want to go soon so I can get myself fixed up soon, and fast. I was selected for some photoshoot on Wednesday and I can’t cancel it without incurring a cancellation fee. I feel disgusting and sick and because of this bloat and constipation, my stomach has just ballooned like crazy, and I look like I’m pregnant. Yet on top of all this, I’ve lost weight. Fuck, I don’t understand. 😢

So when I got home, I cried a lot, and ate two packets of jelly beans after dinner because I haven’t eaten sugary sweets in over a month, and I just thought it would make me feel better. I regretted it after that. I’ve been feeling so miserable and still crying. James said if I had to go to hospital he’d come and visit me, and make me meals (James food = better than hospital food always) and ginger tea and we would chat. /faw

I’ve been feeling too ill to do anything productive. My head is already going into overdrive and I already hate that I have two assignments due in a week. I don’t know what to do. I know I’m going to be alright, I’ll pass, but this is going to be terrible, and horrible, and I’m not going to like it. I can barely breathe with these stomach pains. :(

Comments on this post

Geroggie! /awb

Ngaw. How dare you eat Beens /pow silly thing. :3

I had brownies! and Milk! 8D and they were zonice 🤤
Climbing stairs was okay. I guess now we can make it to the top; it’s just be nice if we got there a bit faster. Tahee

Mashed tatoes is awesome. :B Next time, try mix in some cracked black pepper and peas; it’s pretty darn fantastic. /bounce

Haha, anyone’s food would be better than hospital food. Some mystery meat, a white bread roll and some butter, some mushy vegetables..eww. Like Virgin Atlantic food. 🤮
Ginger tea is good for your stomach; it may help with your stomach pains. Probably won’t cure you, but it’ll help you feel relief. :)

(Y)

Climbing 30 levels with stairs seems pretty funny, and tiring. Well isn’t there like an elevator or something? Well anyway.
I really understand how you’re feeling.. Dumb things happen to me when I’m sick too. And they annoy me so much too! /argh Well maybe if I were you, I’d yell, swear, smash the machine, and then 😰 /huh Well anyway.
Woah this organization seems pretty interesting, free food.. Woah, that would be great! ✌️
*Sighs* Georgie, you should never give up. Maybe crying will make you feel better for a while at least..
Well James’ definitely right doing that. If you dislike hospital food, then he should be big help for you. I’m sure! /bounce
I always hated hospital food too. Well I don’t know why, maybe because I was sick or something, they say that when you’re sick you taste things badly, and become more sensitive to over everything!
Well anyway. I hope you get well soon!

I hate it when machines eat money! HATE HATE HATE!

Hope your days get much much better. Keep making food? That always makes me happy! /love

aww :( I’m sorry you’re feeling awful. I doubt the jellybeans made much of a difference though. They hardly count as junk food :P
I ate so much junk on saturday: cake, ice cream, more cake, cookie, more cake, that I made myself sick. Now that was stupid.

Well since you are going to wait to go to the doctor I won’t nag, I’ll just say I HOPE YOU GET BETTER SOON. -hugs- ♥
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I like the way you put that. “…we all have that interest in blogging and getting to know each other.” I’ve been realizing that’s what I need around where I live, people that just want to know me. A church youth group that just wants to know me, like my own church’s youth group? I want to know them. Ahhh, nevermind. /argh

It is weird how when you are feeling like crap you tend to turn to comfort foods which are supposedly harmful but they make you feel good. Personally I can’t avoid comfort eating no matter what…especially during stressful or that time of the month T_T

It’s times like then when you are frustrated and things keep going wrong one after another…it just happens I don’t know why but it is like a domino effect >_> I hate when machines eat your money especially when you don’t have cash/change on you :(

Hmm gluten free food…I believe you can buy stuff that is specifically “gluten free” but I am guessing it would be hard to survive with what diet habits you are used to by now.

Lol cooking can be fun at times but if you do it regularly it gets dull and boring. I like mashed potatoes but in my own spicy style XD. I am sure yours was yummy too :3

Seems like a good workout! I have seen buildings like that before where they have underground garages and so sometimes they won’t have stairs directly into those lower levels.

The bloated size of your stomach and your weight don’t need to match. There are severe diseases relating to malnutrition (not meant to scare you) where stomachs get bloated but you have actually lost a lot of weight. I hope you can get your colon trouble treated soon! I have had constipation troubles before so I can sort of imagine what you feel like T_T

Aww I am glad James is being supportive…if you need to take a break and be at the hospital then do it…it will be better to rest now and get this over with.

I hope you feel better soon…don’t stress yourself over the assignment…your health is more important…take care!

COMFORT FOOD! They’re the best friend you have when it comes to a quick comfort that’s necessary! D:! I hope you’re not feeling A LOT better by now! D:! I hate it when any machines eat your money and makes you.. Lose money- even if it’s a friggin quarter dollar, ITS STILL MONEY! I would’ve just called up customer service and snap at them. But moving on is probably a time-saver thing to do -__-!

I hate eating bread. When you’re… “Chubby”, bread just stays in your stomach and become.. Fat, supposedly. Either way, I don’t like eating bread, cupcakes, cake, and more bread, baked goodies. D: !

I’m already sick of eating rice ‘~’. It’s gotten so plain in my mouth that.. I’m not able to eat it without a bunch of sauces -__-! Just attend the photoshoot the best way possible and make it happen! Bloated or not, just fight it and do it! But anything before that and after that, relax, breathe, keep calm and KEEP loving Ben Jorgensen– and James, of course :P. I’m such a cheese nutjob -__-.

Don’t feel bad for not doing community service. Feel happy and glad! :P! It’s a way of saying free labor. The Trumpet would probably be my last instrument. But one of the bass clarinetists left the school. So my friend whose also a Clarinetist and I kind of want to take the spot. She wants to do one song, but I’m iffy about wanting to do bass because I bought a 35 dollar reed the other day for the soprano clarinet. D:

I will sure say hi to Phelps for you :D!

Take care (:

wow climbing stairs? Lol I would have been lazy and taken the elevator…but stairs seems fine as long as you have someone with you :D

aww I hope you get treated soon! No more jelly beans for you XD

I wouldn’t know what to do if I couldn’t eat gluten =( You are so strong!!

Feel better soon!

That’s good, just be careful in choosing your food, it is good that you are preparing the food yourself.. :)

*HUGS* what i suggest is to watch some comedy. at least i can fake a laugh like it’s funny and then all the sudden my mood will be better. that’s a what i do, anyways ;) x

You know where I am if you need to vent, ok? I’ll put my personal email on my name so then you can email without asking or thinking about it if you need to … I understand pain like this ALL too well and you do not need to go through this alone, ok? ♥ It’s funny, I don’t know you in person but I care a whole lot about you … Give James a kiss for me so being awesome (Y)

Jelly beans aren’t that bad, they’re small after all ^^

A ticket machine ate my money once as well! It like crashed half way and didn’t return my money or give me a ticket. The ticket office was also close as well so I couldn’t talk to anyone. This is what happens are super small train stations.

I add a bit of milk and some cheese to my mash potatoes. The milk makes it creamier and the cheese is just…well I like cheese :D:D I use to make it all the time at university because it’s quick, easy and heavy.

You walked up 30 levels! That’s amazing. I think I’ll probably die after 10 levels, I’m not that fit unfortunately!

*hugs* I hope you feel better soon and hope you don’t need to go to hospital. It’s never a nice play to go as there’s not much to do there other than sleep. I suppose you could take your laptop with you and surf net.

You’re lucky that your comfort food is jelly beans. Mine is chocolate mousse and store brand iced coffee. I couldn’t see my self gaining weight if I ate jelly beans. :P

I can give change to charity or even a bum on the street if he asks nice, but losing change to a vending machine or a ticket machine would piss me off too. I remember once I went to buy a packet of smokes from a smoke machine. It sucked in my money but didn’t give me my smokes. Even though it’s a discussing habit I have never forgotten about it, even five years later.

I can’t eat cooked carrots I have never liked them cooked, but I do love them raw.

I hope you feel better soon. I hate that bloating feeling. I usually get that when I get off a plane along with swollen feet. The bloating can last for days and it doesn’t help that when I fly I buy cans of coke to fill me up instead of their horrible food which I think is worse than hospital food. ♥

ugh! my life is so hectic and crazy. Sorry its taken me like, 2 months to get back to you :( . My placements went by really quick actually. The days just flew by. We had to get everyone up and ready for breakfast, take them down to breakfast, feed those who need help or need to be fed, take them back to their rooms and clean them up or toilet them if needed. by the time all that is done, its time to get ready for lunch. so the same routine as breakfast lol, and afte that we met for an hour and the day was done!! I liked working in a nursing home, but I can’t see mysel doing that for the rest of my life, or even part of it for that matter :/

whether your feeling well or not, getting your money aten by a machine sucks! sorry you had suck bad luck with that :( and I hope things get better. Are you allergic to gleuten or just dont like to eat it because it makes you feel sick? Its probably not the best to eat anyway lol (i could and should, make a few changes myself).
level 3 to 30?! omg I’d probably die lol. I know the feeling though, and when your looking at where your walking, especially down stairs, it kind of trips you out (well, me anyway) and makes you think your gonna fall or miss a step. Scary!!

I hope youre feeling better soon! aww! comfort food isnt bad once in a while, and you shouldnt feel bad about it! *hugs*

Awww man, I hope you feel better and soon. I really think you should go to the hospital, doctor or something ASAP because you don’t sound good at all.

You need to take a break from all the work too before you get dressed out and get even sicker.

I hate being sick. It’s the worst feeling ever, I don’t get sick very often though because I was never a sickly child. When I do though, the only benefit is being able to stay home from school and that’s only when I don’t actually wanna go.

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I like boys way better than girls. Girls are sneaky, grimey and just plain mean! Trust me, I know .. they can do some very evil things too. I’d much rather pick a boy of being my friend instead of a girl but it isn’t always a good look to be hanging out with a group of boys all day everyday, especially in high school. You know how people talk and assume -__-

That sounds horrible. I hope you get well soon Georgie! Also, good luck with the two assignments! I was ill about a week ago because of really bad stomach ache as well. It went away after two days though because I drank a hell lot of water. Well, my mum said that drinking water would help so yeah it did help. XD haha.

I love potato. I can’t cook at all but mash potato is a excuse. Haha. I love mash potato, I love it with gravy the most. YUM. :D

I would be pissed off as well. I lost 2 pounds once at school and believe me, I was so pissed off. I looked all over for it and didn’t find it so I cried. Well, not literally but I was pissed off. XD

Get well soon! <3