This is gonna hurt

I hate university so much right now. Thrice today I got called “a little mad” or “crazy” or “insane” for working full-time and studying full-time, as if I was deliberately torturing myself by spending all of my weekdays at work and practically all of my nights in class. Oh, yes, it is indeed murderous, but I sigh - for I brought this upon myself.

A couple of weeks ago I brought up with my parents how I wasn’t too keen on completing a Master degree but instead just graduating with a Graduate Diploma. My mum wasn’t too pleased, to say the least. She got mad, at first. Later she told me that it was just extremely disappointing that I wanted to do this so much in the beginning, and now I was almost throwing it all away.

What will I do with a Master of Interactive Multimedia? I think far too much into this, and maybe the answer is that I won’t do anything with it, but I’ll have it, and that, for the most part, I can be proud of. I’ve learned quite a few things going through this course, and had time to brush up on skills that I had and left to rust. And maybe, just maybe, group work isn’t as bad as it was before. Maybe because people aren’t just out of high school and lazy, and this time, with postgraduate study, they’re more wary of how important it is to participate (or risk getting your ass kicked by other group members).

Earlier this week, I thought I had everything under control, and I’d get it all done, until a slagging stupid Pass grade - a pass, nothing more, nothing less, and with no further commendation, but something that constitutes a fail if you have Asian parents (oh dear) - that just made me storm out of the room in anger, press level 4 on the elevator buttons, and wait for the elevator to descend the full 23 levels. Because fuck that shit, I was going to go out, watch live music, and drink bloody vodka.

It seems like forever ago, but last time I saw Hey Geronimo performing, I remember having a conversation with Greg and Pete, and it was one of those conversations in which something came up which made me realise, “hey, so that’s how it is. I never saw it that way.” After having a minor whine about how I was distressed from work and class, Greg pointed out that going to gigs must certainly be my way of chillaxing. A light went off in my head and right then and there, I couldn’t think of many other things that put a smile on my face, made me happy (albeit tired) and that I overall enjoyed. I’m not a very social person, and going to gigs and chatting to my favourite band members (eeeeee!!! /eee) is as social as I get.

It’s a bit like the time I got grounded from seeing Jebediah. It was only then that I realised how much live music meant to me. Now I feel like I have more fun than having those emotional moments, possibly due to a slight shift in the kind of music I’ve been seeing live. Regardless, it’s amazing what kind of feelings music can conjure up.

Anyway, back to the vodka thing. I only started drinking alcohol this year, taking it easy, trying a few drinks. When I think about it, it’s just alcohol, and as long as I don’t get addicted it’s fine. Vodka doesn’t taste bad either. /bounce I notice that every time I drink alcohol I go to the toilet ten times as often. Maybe like after each drink, I need to go. Dylan pointed out yesterday that it’s probably the reason I never get drunk. Alcohol seems to go right through me. O_O

Today I woke up late, which was just stupid. I woke up at 6:00am, originally, then I thought I’d do something productive, and as soon as I opened my curtain and laid back to stretch, I fell asleep again. There’s something awful about knowing how early you woke up, and then waking up three hours later to realise you’re already going to be late for class. I was tired all day, but at least we got some group work out of the way. I ended up skipping breakfast, and I went to Mad Mex and ate tacos. Alone.

I remember telling James I didn’t like eating alone. :(

They were good tacos, but. /drool

I had a group meeting for another one of my subjects this evening, and it was so dull I thought I was going to fall asleep. We got a good lot of work done, but it’s not finished. Looks like my Sunday is going to be full of shit.

I used to be so pumped about uni stuff. Thinking I was on the ball. I’m falling down again. It sucks. I have a ton to do, and this time, I possibly don’t really care.

Done is better than perfect. Bring on summer and all that other shit that’s snowballing this way. Suckkkkkkkk.