The Way of Shadows
This is my first blog post in four days.
I didn’t go on the internet for more than 24 hours. I didn’t answer my phone for more than 24 hours.
It was interesting to return and see who cared about me. Who really wondered what was wrong. The reasoning goes deep. Deeper than I care to say…
My phone had several text messages and missed calls.
The same people who left those messages and whose calls were missed – had left me messages on MSN Messenger as well.
One tweet mentioned me with concern.
I’m not blaming anyone. I’m not looking for attention. I’m not saying that people don’t care. I’m not asking people to care about me. We’ve got our own lives to follow. But after those 24 hours without my phone and without the internet, I wonder what would happen if I chose to leave the internet for good. And what if I told nobody? Would people notice?
I’ve seen people worry about other people online when they disappear for a long period of time. But how long is it before we notice that people have disappeared?
People I know have had such a big impact on my life. People like my really close friends. And I believe I’ve had some impact on theirs. Sometimes we talk daily. I’m online daily – pretty much.
When I’m gone for 24 hours, it’s they who suffer. It’s they who realize I’m gone. And it’s the same – vice versa. When my friends don’t come online like I expect them to, I worry. And I notice.
When something is wrong, do you notice straight away?
I’m a selfish person. I’ll admit that sometimes I’m ignorant to what is around me. Humans are selfish people. Sometimes we don’t notice other people – we acknowledge ourselves. First.
I thought I had it bad, being physically abused at home. (May that be the reasoning for my disappearance from the “online world” – for more than 24 hours.)
That was before I found out about my friend who was hospitalised several times from such brutal beatings by his father. I try to look on the bright side. People are worse off than me. Hospitalised. I got head beatings alright. But… hospitalised.
Yeah, I thought I had it bad. Before I looked around me. There are people other than myself. There are people who have it worse.
I don’t think I can afford to be selfish anymore. It’s the reason why I get beaten up.
There might be tears in my eyes, but I need to find a way to smile.
:love: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I’m so sorry you have to still put up with so much crap at your home. You’re such a good daughter though Georgie, if you think about it. You always end up doing what your parents asked. Sometimes, you even take initiative to get housework done without being told. When they won’t let you go somewhere, you don’t sneak out. I wish your parents would realize how much of a DREAM you are as a daughter compared to other parents who have absolutely no control over their children.
I didn’t notice that you didn’t tweet because I never really hear from you anymore ); A few blog comments here and there, but not a consistent conversation. Makes me so sad ); You’re such a great person to know and talk to. I literally had to muster up the guts to talk to you! haha…I really look up to you Georgie. Please don’t ever think you’re so selfish or so unloved/uncared for or anything…we all care about you A LOT and would definitely want to know whatttt was going onnnn if you were gone for days. We all need our Georgie fix ♥
*MWAH* I hope things are okay now loveyy. You have such awesome offline friends to care to see what’s going on with you! Never forget how much they love you!<3
Awe! :'( this made me cry! I feel so bad that I didn’t notice. It’s not that I didn’t notice just that I had not been on either. I have some issues of my own right now that are stressful. I think people would have noticed if you gave it one or two more days. Because you never go without blogging for 6 or 7 days. I can see where you are coming from. Difference between you and I asking that question is the number of visitors. I don’t get 20 comments on a blog so I wonder if anyone at all will notice. Plus with summer days now less and less are online. Ugh. My comment sounds selfish. My point is no one will ever not notice you gone. You have many people who are willig to comfort you and search for you if you ever leave the Internet world. I would be one of those. You are appreiciated.
thank you for your comment. Hearing what people think actually helps me with working on relationships because I like hearing opinion to base ky own on. (well certain opinions) It meant a lot. :)
Hope you are doing well. :) <3 *hugs*
I will acknowledge the fact that I didn’t notice that you hadn’t posted for four days. I did, however, notice the lack of tweets from you – it’s the tweets of new blog posts that lead me to come and read, usually, even if I don’t comment all the time. People could have a schedule that they follow, that they catch up on their blogroll once a week, you don’t know reasons why they didn’t ask. But it’s also the people who know us in real life who comment, who ask, who worry – people with tangible connections to us.
And while I think it’s commemorable that you look to the bright side of things, abuse is still abuse is still abuse. I mourn the person that I was once, before I became jaded and emotionally abused by someone who claimed it was for my own good. If I don’t tell anyone, it doesn’t mean it goes away. And what I learned (with the help of extensive therapy…) is that you can’t change your abuser into someone better. You can’t ‘fix’ things by ignoring them, by closing it all up inside. That the only person you can change is yourself. You can change the environment that you’re in, the people with whom you interact with. You can be better than the people who try to hold you back and turn you into something you’re not. Something that my therapist says to me all the time, but I haven’t quite really learned yet, is that no one can have control over you unless you’re willing to give it up to them in the first place.
I do hope you’re doing better now. I also hope you’ve pressed charges for domestic violence. Some people don’t learn how to stop until they’ve been confronted with the law, or with the thought of their own freedom being taken away. Put yourself first, put your safety first, above loyalties to someone who’s willing to hurt you physically, mentally or emotionally.
I’m on msn if you ever want to talk.
I’m scared of really telling authority or doing something like pressing charges. If I wasn’t, I probably would have done it by now. I’ve actually told friends to not tell anyone, because I’ve been threatened about it.
The thing is, I know how to make it stop by changing what I do around the house; it’s just difficult, or maybe I’ve not been trying hard enough. I know I’m an adult and I have my own rights – I’ve thought of running away but with the knowledge that it will become worse if that happens – I just can’t do it.
It’s fairly easy for me to move on quickly. The abuse hurts but I’ve been trying to stay strong. I hate to say that I really don’t want to press charges, but I know it’s me who has to change, if my abuser can’t be. Maybe I’m doing things I don’t want to do and I’m also told it’s for my own good, but I feel like it’s been happening for quite some time that I know the possible ways out.
I honestly believe that I just have difficulty pushing myself to make sure I do what is “right” – in their eyes.
Do not let anyone scare you. You need to tell someone, girl! I know it is hard, but once you tell someone it will help you in the long run. It will be okay. :]
Has Sebby never used Photoshop before?? :O Well obviously not… has he used any other graphics programs? Does he do graphic design, or just write code?
YOU NEED TO SHOW ME. I’ll remind you if I remember. xD
Thank you!! I did do wellll. :3 I would tell you, but I’m thinking of blogging about my exam scores, so I don’t want to spoil it. ;)
Yes he is the guy the Merriam-Webster dictionary was named after. :) He created the first comprehensive American dictionary. His house (yes, his actual house is now located in Greenfield Village, a really cool outdoor museum by my house. /bounce Heh, thinking about the Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village (collectively The Henry Ford) makes me really happy to live where I do. That’s probably the one thing I’ll miss if I move away. :P
GREY. I actually have been spelling it “grey” for as long as I can remember. I’m not sure how or why I knew grey and gray were both correct, but I did. xD I like “grey”… it seems more sophisticated. Or something. :P
GEORGINA I LOVE YOU. We already talked about this… how I feel bad about not leaving you messages and such. Well I don’t feel bad anymore because we talked about it, but yeah.
If you left the internet, you would have to let me call you all the time!! D: Oh don’t forget you still owe me a call this holiday. ;)
You do impact my life, of course. :) Even though I’ve never met you in person, you’re still one of my closest friends. ♥
Hospitalised? That must be terrible. :( I hope your friend’s situation at home is better now. I think if that happened here, a social worker would come and deal with the problem. That is, if the hospital was told or could tell that it was child abuse.
Your blog’s final sentence is beautiful, and of course very true. *hugs*
*(yes, his actual house)
I’ve often wondered that as well. And I’ve made several disappearances as well. One of which was a very long, almost year long hiatus. People asked around here and there. But I had lost most of my old visitors. There have been times when I’ve disappeared from facebook. Once upon a time, people used to notice. But nowadays, I don’t think anyone would really care if I deleted my facebook altogether. I suppose its because my offline friends really aren’t friends at all. There’s only one person I converse with a lot on facebook (my best friend), but seeing as how we have each others’ numbers and house addresses, we could communicate other ways. I suppose the only place people would really notice my absence would be on twitter. And that would be the hardest for me to leave, b/c I feel closer to my online friends on there than to my offline friends elsewhere. I admit too that I’m a selfish person. I wonder what and if people are thinking of me, when I’m really not thinking about anyone else. When I don’t see someone online for a few days, I usually just assume they’re busy and have more important things to do. I guess I start noticing after a few weeks or a month.
This is terrible! I feel bad that I didn’t realise but I’ve honestly barely been online, and when I have, it hasn’t been anything social. I’ve been out the past few days and I’m exhausted.
The last line of that blog was beautiful. I feel so sorry for you – I had no idea what you had going on at home. You honestly aren’t selfish as far as things go. It’s alright to be a little selfish – you deserve it, and you give a lot to others, sometimes without realising it.
You shouldn’t feel bad. We all have our lives to deal with; after all, it is around school holiday time for you. :)
It’s alright, but it’s nothing new and it isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Honestly, I know I can make it through and I do have to be less selfish.
Haha, I’m lucky Sebby told me your Mum confiscated your phone otherwise I’d have sms’d you a lot D:
I hope you’re okay. I wish I could talk to you, but Sebby said your Mum confiscated your phone, so I can’t call you on your mobile and I’m too scared to call your home phone because I don’t want to get you into more trouble :( What happens if I call and your Mum is like “DON’T MAKE YOUR FRIENDS CALL YOU!”. I’d feel so bad D:
I SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU’RE OKAYYY!
I would worry if you weren’t online for a while D: A while being 24 hours. Msn sucks without you. It’s very lonely because you’re the only who would definitely talk to me everyday :( I am missing you HEAPS :( :(
Even if you don’t end up in hospital, your physical abuse still isn’t right /angry
It sucks that your parents can’t see what an awesome daughter they have sometimes :( BUT STAY STRONG! WE ALL LOVE YOU HEAPS ♥
Your presence is sorely missed.
Okay, I’m off to catch up on your plog :)
You’re right when you say we tend not to notice others sometimes – people tend to be very inwardly-focused; it’s often only when we’re actually interacting with someone that we notice them and it can take a while to pick up on one’s absence. I think there’s a subconscious reasoning of “oh well, everyone gets busy” that shields us from over-worrying. Am I making any sense at all? I have a feeling I’m not. Sorry. =/
I do feel a little guilty that I haven’t been in touch for a while. I know we don’t talk on IMs on a daily basis or anything like that, but I do consider you one of my closer online friends and it really does sadden me when things are not going well for you at home. :( I didn’t know the extent of it until you mentioned it in this entry though. I really sympathize…and empathize. (Read into that what you will, but I think you know what I mean.) I really wish I could offer something better than a few crappy words as comfort or help, but I’m pretty useless. =/ And I have a feeling this isn’t something you want to be discussing openly in your blog comments anyway.
For the record though: Georgina, you are one of the LEAST selfish people I know. That’s not why people hurt you – in almost every case the problem lies with the abuser, not the abused. Please don’t ever believe that you deserve any less than the utmost kindness. *hugs* ♥
I know after you posted this I left you a reply on twitter, but I do feel bad. I just thought maybe you had said you were really busy with something or other and that’s why you wouldn’t be online, so I didn’t want to cut to the chase. But there have been times where I didn’t go online for days without explanation and not one person cared to notice. I think it’s really that some people just don’t want to bother you or get in your business. But I’m again sorry, <33
There probably are some people who have just disappeared from the online world and no on seemed to notice. But I'm sure there are many people who wondered about them and miss them. I've met a lot of great people online and if they have gone missing for weeks I would take great concern, but only 24 hours, I would just think maybe they were busy, that's all. :) ♥
I don’t think anyone would notice if I disappeared from the internet. Mainly because my site doesn’t exist anymore (although it was almost dead beforehand anyway) but that’s beside the point. :)
This blog highlighted something that is often forgotten, not only by others, but by myself as well. I think sometimes we neglect to realise just how important our actions are in the lives of others. Not just our family and friends, but complete strangers as well. On the internet the likeliness of influencing others doubles, if not triples! It was good for me to gain this realisation again because otherwise I continue to live quite selfishly, which isn’t healthy. So, thank you. :)
One thing though. I apologise if I’ve read this in the wrong context, or if I’m unknowingly ignorant of your situation, but I can’t agree with these two sentences:
‘I don’t think I can afford to be selfish anymore. It’s the reason why I get beaten up.’
Perhaps being selfish is one of the varying reasons many of us have difficult times in our lives. I know it’s something that affects me on a daily basis.
However, I can’t agree that your selfishness is the reason why you are beaten up. In fact, you could list 12 reasons why you’re being beaten up and I wouldn’t agree with any of them.
Being physically abused is inexcusable. It’s never right. No matter what you’ve done, how you’ve acted or what you’ve said, nothing deserves that kind of treatment, EVER.
I’m not trying to intrude on your personal life. But for anyone else who reads this blog, please listen to me. Being abused- physically or emotionally- is wrong. It is NEVER right. No matter what the person tells you, you do not deserve it and you don’t have to put up with it.
I’m sorry if I’ve offended you in any way, but physical abuse is a crime. Just because it’s not ‘as bad’ as somebody else’s abuse doesn’t mean it’s any less damaging.
Actually this is probably the only opportunity I get to say this, but when you changed your Twitter and Tumblr usernames, I was wondering where you went – all I remembered was @mangosmiles. I know you’ve been so supportive towards me in times of need. I really appreciate that, Jess. :)
It’s difficult to get by. I wouldn’t deny it’s wrong. But I’m in a situation where I know if I try to do anything about it, whether it involves the authorities or not, it will only make things worse at home and worse with the people involved. I might just be scared of doing it, but the fear of making it worse is sometimes more difficult to deal with than the abuse itself. You definitely didn’t take anything the wrong way; I’m just in a tough sitch, but I’m doing alright. :)
are u ok hun? y do u get beaten, its not nice.. love u
I find this post very touching. I’m so sorry about what happened, Georgina. I have a high-tempered father, who has threatened to beat me before, and has thrown things at me when I’ve “gone too far,” but he’s never laid an actual hand on me like that.
You’re my most frequent commentor, so I was wondering, Hmm, where’s Georgina? But I figured you had zillions of comments to answer to, so… But, I’m glad you’re alright, and haven’t vanished off the face of the earth :).
But I understand what you mean when you say, You wonder what people would do if I disappeared, just suddenly? I have wondered the same thing with my friends, because sometimes my friends don’t exactly…care about what’s happening in my life. Which is mostly why I want to move away from where I live: will people even notice? Will those friendships I have labeled my “best friend relationships” even remain stable? :/ I hate thinking those things, but it happens.
Don’t leave the Internet forever :O. LOL, I’d miss my most frequent commentor xD.
I hope that your friend is okay now, and I hope you’re doing alright (I understand things like abuse are hard to be “alright” from). :) Try to smile — smiling always helps me feel better.
You can go ahead and call me Kat — my friends sometimes call me that :).
Secrets are hard to keep, and I know that I’ve spilled a couple (ones I shouldn’t have). But, I think everyone has, in our life times. Sometimes, when we have too many secrets, they’re hard to keep to ourselves, and we just have to say something. But I like knowing that, when I tell someone a secret, they won’t tell someone else. And when they do, I lose some of that trust :/. And I really don’t like that. But everyone does it, so I guess I should half-expect some secrets to be exposed.
I’m a big hermit when I’m home, just because I don’t like talking to my dad — who’s always ticked off aboout something — and my mom is always studying for her tests for school :/. So I spend a lot of time in my room, replying to comments, creating things, joining fanlistings ♥ Haha :).
“Me” time is my favorite time, but I like times with friends a lot because sometimes…I need those sleepovers with the generic girly time. :) (P.S. – Sorry for such a long comment xD.)
You got beaten?
I have gotten whooped before, and I am not ALWAYS selfish.
Yes, I worried about you. I thought you were in the hostpital due to your coconut allergies. I am glad it wasn’t that.
That’s the thing with the internet. People come and go. I remember back in 2004 when I owned silencehurts.org and it seemed like there were so many more sites back then. (I’m sure there are still just as many, I just haven’t found them.) I remember someone fairly popular quit the internet, well this scene of the internet. He owned Vortex.com, if you remember. He doesn’t contact anyone within this little scene anymore and blah blah. People still mention him, like I’m doing here. He hasn’t been around since like 2005, I believe. I’ve left the internet before and noticed I was mentioned on forums and what not several years ago and when I came back my friends online were thrilled.
I think online friends are just as important as offline. Actually, some of my online friends I’m closer to than my offline friends. Some of my online friends I feel probably care about me more than some of my offline friends.
Anyway, chin up and don’t be so hard on yourself.
If you disappeared from the internet for a long period of time, a lot of people would notice, believe me. I always notice when people I talk to regularly are absent for a while. If it’s a really long time I start to wonder if they’re okay.
I think it’s only natural for human beings to be selfish at times. After all, if we weren’t, we’d never get anywhere.
I do often think about how many people have got it worse than me, but sometimes it’s hard for people to see past their own problems. I guess it’s because people don’t necessarily experience other people’s problems and therefore have the bliss of ignorance.
I’m so sorry you feel like this. I feel the same way in fact. I guess it’s depression kicking in, or something, but we just gotta look on the brighter side of things. Ya know? I wrote an entry about this as well. So yeah.
I really don’t have much to say so I’m gonna go now. I’ll write another long comment later. Again sorry for the short comment.
I’ve actually recognized that you weren’t around your website much in the last couple of days since you were kinda out of your blogging routine and stuff. I wasn’t really on MSN or Twitter much lately so I wouldn’t have recognized you not being online much else where.. though I kinda feel like a bad person or friend. I haven’t really talked to you in a long time and by reading your last couple of blogs I feel like you might have needed somebody to talk to (even if you have other friends that are closer and that you can talk to).
Also by reading your last couple of blogs without really commenting on any of them I feel like you really changed in the way about what you talk about on here. I’ve been following your blogs for more than a year now I think and I never really knew what was going on at home for you – or at least not this much.
I don’t want to say I’m sorry for what is going on because you might not want to hear things like that anymore – but I really am. And I really do hope that things will change really, really soon. I think I have said that before – but I mean it now as much as I meant it back then. I wish I could jump into a plane, fly over to Sydney and hug you.
I’ve caught myself wanting to comment on some of your previous blog posts before but then I didn’t really know what to say or how to say things and so I just didn’t say anything. But I want you to know that I am right here if you should need somebody. <3
I think sometimes a person has to be selfish, just not too extreme. There is a small little line that seperate us from being tooo selfish and being selfish (if that makes any sense).
I don’t know what I’ll do without the internet or my cellphone. I’d be really lost without both of them. It’s been 2 years now since I went without internet at home. Can you believe that? It’s already been that long. At least I have some privacy at home. I don’t have to worry about someone looking over my shoulders. I miss playing The Sims or The Sims 2 game. Sometimes I wished my computer tower was still working. It didn’t break down. /wah It happens when you least expect it.
My cellphone started acting up last night. There’s no sound at all. Any Calls Made or Received, the person on the other end can hear me. Unfortunately, I can’t hear them. /pow Looks like I have to get my upgrade after all. I was going to wait for a while until I’m ready.
Yes. Everyone has a life outside the internet. We can’t be online 24/7. We have school, friends and family. Everyone gets so busy. That’s why people have been disappearing and sites that haven’t been touch for a while. They have to give up something in order to free themselves from other things. Unfortunately, some people chose to closed down their site.
I have a really close friend that I worked with before. We used to talk everyday. Unfortunately, she got really busy. We’d talk before she starts doing whatever needs to be done. I don’t talk to any of my online friends except through email and blogs.
I don’t think your a selfish person. You need time to yourself and that’s understandable. Sometimes I need a break from the internet. When the public library is closed for two-three days for a holiday, that’s a chance for me to recooperate. If you need to take some time off then I don’t see why not.
Sorry to hear about your friend who was hospitalised several times from such brutal beatings by his father. I hope your friend got the help he or she needed.
If you’re parents beat you because you are being selfish, then you must know its for your own good…
My parents used to be slap me on the face when I did something wrong. And it actually worked.
I know its not my place to say, and I’m sorry, but when people say “I don’t want any attention”, it turns out they usually want attention.. :P
But, alas, hope everything is okay!!
There is *never* a good reason for physical punishment for being “selfish” or slapping a person across the face. EVER. And I’m sincerely sorry that you feel that it’s actually okay because someone deserves it for doing something. There’s never a good reason to physically hurt someone. Just like there’s never a good reason to emotionally abuse someone. Saying that someone deserves it is blaming the *victim*. It’s counterproductive and not helpful, at all.
Corporal punishment (i.e. spanking a child) is legal only up to a certain point. And there are so many restrictions about it in place. You cannot leave bruises, use objects, break the skin or hit their faces/heads. There’s even an age restriction for corporal punishment.
I hope to god you are not serious.
If someone who isn’t your family is being selfish, do you twat them? No. So why is it acceptable to do it to your family?
I hope you’re ok now Georgie,. Honestly I didn’t notice on Twitter but I was thinking the other day, I swear she blogs more than this. I’m always here if you want to talk, even if we are in different time zones and I’m hardly on when you are. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
No one deserves to be hit, no matter how selfish they are. And everyone is selfish, some more than others… so as everyone is selfish I guess it’s okay for everyone to be hit for being selfish.
Wrong. I agree with Michelle… physical abuse has limits and even then it’s not right. It teaches us nothing.
You can go ahead & hit your kids all you want in the future, but as for the rest of us, we strongly agree that hitting your children is NOT how you get them to understand what they did is wrong.
If you hit your child for hitting a classmate, what kind of example are you setting for them? It is not okay to hit people unless it is for self defense reasons, otherwise, if it’s not okay to hit someone, why hit your child to tell them that? It’s hypocritical.
Georgina is obviously hurt & she’s pouring her heart out onto her blog. The LAST thing she needs is for someone to tell her she deserved it. Do you even know what she did to deserve it? What did she do? Oh, you don’t know. So don’t say she deserved it if she’s one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet on the internet & her “selfishness” is mostly her wanting time to herself instead of doing things her mom wants her to do.
I don’t think you’d like it if you wrote a blog about how your boyfriend cheated on you & have someone tell you that you deserved it so don’t tell someone they deserved a beating from their mom just because you thought getting slapped did you some good because it obviously didn’t.
Thanks Georgie! You’re my true blue best friend online. I know we’ve had our differences in the past, and everything but like you I’d notice if you’d disappear from the internet.
Thanks for considering me as a friend. That means a lot to me it really does. Your friendship and kind words means a lot.
Out of everyone I have ever came across the internet, or elsewhere I’d say where the heck have ya been woman!? You’re like one of those rare people who can sense what’s going on and everything like that. It’s quite alright not knowing that I was gone. I just didn’t feel like blogging since my grandmother’s passing. Ya know? It’s like “why bother?” So it’s like I know what you’re going through. It’s never any fun.
Oh I figured out how to get the archives thing down. It was kinda complicated, but I finally learned how to do it :). Heehee, thank you so much for the link though. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.
I am sorry that you are in an abusive household. My sister got abused growing up as a child. I am very thankful that my father grew out of that before he could do it to me… But you know, it is true. Often times, whenever I think I have it horrible, I look around me and realize I have it amazing compared to others around the world. There are people in third world countries being trafficked, turning into labourers, being prostituted, cannot feed thier families, being raped and killed and no one even notices. So honestly, really don’t think you have it horrible. I know being abused isn’t the best thing either, and you willg row and learn from it yourself. But you shouldn’t have to “test” people in your life to see if they notice or care about you, it should be clear who are there for you.
I hope you are alright…
Take care xx
Thank you. :) I wasn’t really going for a cute look, but I like how the layout turned out.
I didn’t think the font would actually work. Hoorah for CSS3!
My dad’s foot still hurts, but less now.
I should’ve done that, but I was worried about running out of batteries.
Same here. I can always tell who the person next to me is by knowing their smell. Everyone smells different. Unless they put on the same cologne or perfume.
I was wondering where you went, too. I thought you were sick or had gotten into an accident. You’re always blogging daily so it was out of the ordinary.
The only time my parents have hit me was when I was being a disrespectful brat. They slap me. They only did it to me twice, and haven’t done it in years. Now they just yell at me.
Physical abuse isn’t right. People can use better, less harmful alternatives, like taking away some privileges, or giving lectures of what adult life will be like if the bad attitude continues. That worked on me.
I hope that your friend is okay right now.
I honestly don’t know what to say. :( I feel bad for you when you say you get physically abused by your parents.
But I must be frank here and say that parents shouldn’t hit their kids. In any form. I can’t imagine that you would do anything so terrible enough for your parents to beat on you. :(
Always try and smile.
I find that the only thing in life that can pick me up, make me smile and keep me going is myself. In the end.. its you.. its me.. its life.
That’s just coming from another person who has an understanding of beatings.
Good luck (:
Hi :) I thought you were busy with your assignments or something, now I understand though after reading this blog.
If you disappeared, I’m sure a lot of people would notice. You have had some impact on a lot of people, I know, including me! A lot of people I know here have had some impact on myself, that’s something beautiful from having online friends. I hate it when people from my offline life said “Online friends? What, they’re ONLINE friends. You’ve never even met them!” but seriously, you never know how online friends also take parts of your life.
I don’t think you’re a selfish person–sometimes you need a break from everything, you need time for yourself.
I feel the same way you feel in the past couple months–I once got into a problem, and I complained why do I have to live a life like this!? Then I saw the news, how people–little kids, were dying because of starving. I have enough foods to eat yet I’m still complaining? My friends, each of them has their own problems and most of the time they’re worse than mine.
To be honest, parents have no rights to beat their children. Um well, not only parents–people have no rights to do it. Being physically and/or emotionally abused is not right, and will never be right. Even though you’re not hospitalized because of this, it is still not right.
Well, I hope you’re alright *hugs* and I also hope that your friend will be alright also.
The post actually made me think. It made me think about the things that I take for granted. People…I take them for granted.
When people do things in “pattern” like getting online for instance I notice and it truely does make me worry. I often think that people don’t notice ME when I’m gone, when I’m hurt, going through it and I just feel alone. Sometimes I even wonder..if I run away tonight or something happens to me..would they notice. That’s how I feel at home honestly, invisible.
I use to think I had it worse honestly but I don’t anymore. Compared to most, I’m truely blessed. Everything may not go the way that I want but it’s good enough.
I hate that too. Boys, are very ignorant but I don’t think they can help it. I think it’s in their nature and of course girls don’t like it but that’s where communication plays its role.
I use my smart mouth on friends and my mom and no one else. Actualy I choose my battles. If I know I can get away with it then I use it to my advantage but if I can’t then I watch it!
:love: I don’t know you personally, and I have only really just started reading your blog, but I would just like to say you are a brave young lady. And no I am not patronising you … To come out and talk about the abuse even to people who don’t know you from a bar of soap and to those that do is admirable.
I hope you’re doing better now, and I hate to think your parents hurt you like this. I had an abusive ex and I get the feeling of it, but I don’t get the feeling of it being my parents. It would be worse I’d assume.
Much love and fluffy clouds to you /eee
It’s ok to be selfish, it’s only human. Everyone will put themselves first above others are some point in their life. Off course there are those that do that everyday haha.
I do notice spending on the person. If it’s someone I talk to everyday then I’ll notice, but if it’s someone I speak to once a week then I probably won’t notice. I will worry if they’re gone for more than 3 days because I can understand that they have lives outside of the net and they don’t have to be online everyday.
I wonder if people will notice if I disappear for a while from the online world. Probably not to bloggers because I’m not that close to many but maybe to some of my other online friends.
Thank you, thank you and thank you! ♥
When I think back to those times when I offered icons and stuff it seems like it years and years away.. though it’s max. 2 years. And it’s nice to hear that people don’t mind me and all the changes around my website I tend to take. :)
I guess most of us at some point lose interest in something we’ve done for soo long and then decide to just stick to one thing – which in our case would be just writing.
And there is nothing wrong with it. I am reading some blogs that are purely personal – no other content. And it’s great.
Hehe, yeah I’ve pretty much always just been the writer. :) I kinda hope so too, but in the last couple of weeks I realized how I don’t really care about the amount of visitors and comments I get anymore. It’s nice to know that there are people out there that come to my website to read my blogs and maybe even comment.
I try to be a good friend to you because you have always been right there when I needed somebody and your comments always make me smile and help me through some complicated situations. You deserve to get something back for all the awesome things you’ve done for me. ♥ :)
This situation is terrible. I feel bad that I didn’t realise but I’ve honestly barely been online. You honestly aren’t selfish as far as things go. It’s alright to be a little selfish, you deserve it, and you give a lot to others, sometimes without realising it.
Please don’t ever think you’re so selfish or so uncared for or anything, we all care about you a lot and would definitely want to know what was going on if you were gone for days. You should know that all your online friends love you and miss you if it disappears for a few days. You have had a great impact on my life and I’m glad I met you, since I discovered that you’re an amazing and great person /eee
I hope all goes well now. If you need to talk, just say me. Here you have a friend on the other side of the screen, though this thousands of miles away, I’m a good listener /type
Being physically abused is inexcusable and is a crime. It’s never right. No matter what you’ve done, how you’ve acted or what you’ve said, nothing deserves that kind of treatment.
The last sentence of your blog is very true, and I totally agree with her 👏
I left the internet (just websites and forums) for a while without telling anyone, but I don’t think anyone really cared since I hadn’t had any really close friends online. I’m sure a lot of people would be concerned of you did though. I know I would. You’re a huge influence on so many people here, I’m sure.
You shouldn’t feel the need to classify yourself as a selfish person. We’re all selfish. Compared to the rest of us, I don’t think you’re selfish at all. You’re just concerned about yourself and your own life, like any normal person would be.
It’s horrible that you have to deal with things like that. I can’t even imagine what it must be like. I do hope you’re okay. :( Even if those things happen to you, just remember that all your friends here online will be here with you, in addition to your friends offline, of course. :D
I still care about you and your awesome blogs. But I’ve been busy lately. I don’t know how you manage it Georgina? Working and school and keeping up with so many great websites. I need to read your time management article. All I’m doing is seven lousy hours in class then I’m free for the rest of the day. But I’m so tired by the end of the day, I just want to check my email then read a book until bed time. Maybe some cleaning.
I used to read your blogs every day. Even when I didn’t comment, I still read it. It’s like a very long novel. Haha! And every day, a new chapter.
I don’t know what to say about the rest of your blog. I don’t think you want to hear my opinion. But stay safe and do what you’re doing. One day soon you will move out with James or a friend and that might take off some stress. Except for paying rent and bills. They are very stressful.
I wouldn’t label you as a selfish person, Georgie dear. You are only defensive to your own persona, and hey, that’s your right. You have as much right to live on this world as others do, including your parents, your friends, all people. You cannot be there for everyone every day, and by all means take some time for yourself only when you need. People who love you will miss you, but they will be happy when you are back. Nobody could ever blame you, sweetie. *hugs tightly*
I knew you had often troubles with your parents, but I would never believe they would actually come to physically abuse you. :( From how you say it, it doesn’t look like the simple educative slap… and I’m really sorry to hear your parents feel it right to do such an awful thing to you. If it can help, if you need to vent, you can always reach me by email, Georgie… I know it’s not enough, but I’ll be there. *hugs again*
Hope your friend is out of hospital soon anyway. :( That’s not tolerable, if it was for me, I would report them to the police for such a crime.
– Luana S.
I don’t even know where to start with this comment. Whether you get hospitalized or not, what your parents do to you isn’t right. It’s abuse, and you do not deserve it in any way. To me, it seems like you try so hard to please them and it’s just never enough for them.. but it’s THEM who are wrong because you are an amazing, strong girl.
It sucks because they’re your parents; you’re supposed to love them no matter what, and unlike an abusive boyfriend.. you can’t just break up with them. IDK why your parents do it, or if there’s a reason… but if it’s getting bad, you should really try to do something about it. You haven’t been hospitalized, but there’s a first for everything and I don’t want to hear about you ending up in the same place as the guy you mentioned :(
I actually came to your site because I hadn’t heard from you in awhile. Though I haven’t been very active online myself lately, I still found it a little weird to not see any comments or new posts from you, so I wanted to come and see how you were doing. I really hope things get better for you, because you deserve it ♥
*massive hugs to you*
If you did permanently disappear from the internet, don’t worry, a crowd of people would know. I would say 24 hours is too short a time period, I don’t expect anyone to be that dandy with coming online but if some of the people I talk to online didn’t come on once for more than a week, not even to update their Twitter, without explanation, I’d get pretty worried.
I’m a naturally selfish person too. Everything has to be the most advantageous for me and I used to pity myself easily, I don’t as much anymore because I started maturing (finally) but I’ll never grow out of it. The really amazing thing is that you recognize that your family situation at home is bad but you also acknowledge that it is no where near the worst so you’re not that selfish after all.
Aw, Georgie! Don’t feel bad, I’ve been away from the Internet for the majority of the week and I know that no one has even noticed. :P I am not too perturbed about it though, as I really am not close to anyone in the online world…nor the offline world. I seem to find it hard to trust people.
As for your friend, my thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. I hope that they are able to get the help that they need. Things like this really make you grateful for having loving parents.
Well, I’m off to go clean out my e-mail accounts…It seems that is one way to be acknowledged. /type
Mines boring lol. It’s just crap after crap nothing good. Notice how i mostly blog about online stuff and never much about my offline life. It’s because there’s either nothing to blog about or it’s just too horrifying to blog about.
Thanks. :D I added a few things last night, i just to put some finishing touches and it will be ready. :D
They had a redemption yesterday and i missed it. They are having another one soon and i am soo hoping not to miss this one. I cried with i missed it lol.
If you went off the face of the internet for good people will definitely notice. This is how i see it: 🙄
Day 1: we think “okay this normal lol”
Day 2: Still normal
Day 3: Not normal but it’s okay
Day 4: Where is Georgina
Day 5: Start contact
Day 6: What the is going on
Day 7: Panic!
I hope things get better at home. You try to look for the bright side but it’s hard to find. You just need to create one. Create a happy place that you can always go to when things get hard.
I hope your friend is okay and is not going through that again. You need to tell someone. It might not be huge now but it might get worse if something isn’t done about it. :(
I haven’t gotten online in a while either. My stepdad’s been home. :(
I’m sorry you went through what you went through. I can’t find the right words to say about what happened, because to be honest, I don’t think words can be properly said when something like that happens. All I can say is that I’ve been there; I know how you feel.
I’ve always wanted choppy layers, but I can’t find a person to knows how to do them right. And with the side-swept bangs, to properly do them here, the stylist is supposed to use an electric razor, like they use on the men, and so far none has done that, and my bangs are … let’s just say parted down the middle and the same length. :(
No matter what anyone may think or say, you have made a “dent” in the webdesign world. Look at where you are today! Did you ever think that when you started your first website that you would be where you are today? Whether you realize it or not, you are basically a celebrity in the webdesign world. You are in a position where you have power. What you say or do with your website is looked upon as the thing to do. Use it wisely and impact people in a positive way.
I know you are not really “religous”, but you know that you do not go through this alone. Give your worries to God. He is not a shooting star, but He is your best friend. You do not have to worry about Him as He will never leave you or forsake you. He is your super friend. What do you have to lose? Even if you have already tried it, I understand that you go to a Catholic church. Have you ever been to a Nazerene church or another type of church? Nothing against anyone Catholic, but most of what they do is unnesscary. The whole point is to form a personal relationship with Jesus and of course the rest of the things. :]
I really hope that things turn out better for you. Do not give up!
I have a question for you. Could you tell me where your owner page is ranked at? Is it one of your popular pages or is it your least visited pages? It is for an article. Thank you so much!
Unfortunately, because we are contacts over the internet, I wouldn’t be able to tell in any reasonable amount of time if you went missing, but if you were to go missing, it’s not as if you’d go unmissed.
As for the abuse, if it would get worse if you ran away or tried to involve the police, then it is NOT for your own good. I’m sorry if that contradicts your beliefs, but those kinds of words are just excuses to justify their actions. You can’t blame yourself for their violent actions. Nobody deserves to be hit. You’re an legally an adult, and the abuse doesn’t sound like the normal spanking a parent uses to discipline a child. If you do not wish it, nobody even has the right to touch you. I know it’s harder for you to stand up for yourself than it is for me to encourage you to do so, but do not, please do not, buy into that “it’s good for you” bullshit because there is no way, at your age, that physical discipline could be more effective than logical reasoning, okay? Just… just don’t blame yourself for this. You’re saying that you could prevent your own abuse by your actions? That’s just too sad to bear. It’s just not true. It’s just not possibly true. You’re not a slave. You have the right to not do house chores and not get beaten for it. They can yell at you, sure. They can kicked you out even. But they can not, and do not have the right to, touch you.
I have close friends over the Internet who I talk to often, and I am online daily. I think a few days was long for me.
You’re absolutely right, but I guess the reality is that I don’t want to face the consequences. I don’t want to be kicked out and living on my own and hated for the rest of my life. I don’t want the relationships to get even worse. I want them to improve even if that means doing what I don’t want to do. I can’t find the strength yet.
If you’re getting hurt at home, do something about it. I’m sure you can…I don’t know you, but if you believe in yourself, go for it. Fix this problem you’ve been living with because chances are…you don’t deserve it.
Sometimes, I can be really selfish. Maybe it’s all the time and I’m too much of a brat to notice it…and that’s why I’ll be shutting myself up for awhile. I mean, I’ll blog, but in person when I’m with my friends…I don’t want to talk about myself anymore. I do it to often and sometimes, I can’t stop myself. It gets that bad… /oh
I just want to listen to my friends more now…
My best friend was told that she suffers from depression by her therapist and I really need to help her out. She’s always there for me, so now, it’s time for me to be there for her.
However, I don’t think you’re selfish. I’m getting this feeling through the internet.
Don’t beat yourself up about how you think you are, because chances are, you really are not like that. You’re inflicting this pain on yourself.
Unfortunately, you get beaten at home…physically. Because you’re “selfish?” Is that what they tell you? Do they think beating you makes it better? It doesn’t. That just makes problems worse by adding frustration, tension, and anger.
I am so sorry.
Oh dear Georgie, I feel so sorry for what happened to you. I know what terrible time you must have gone through. I was in that same position years ago. It was hard because I had nobody to turn to because I was only a helpless 10 year-old kid.
I was away from the internet for a few days so I didn’t notice your “disappearance”.
I do believe that sometimes a person has to be selfish, because no matter how much we love and want to be loved by other people, we still need some space and time for ourselves. We need the space and time to be alone and do our own things. A lot of people don’t understand this so they start assuming we are selfish or acting snobby.
Hopefully things will look brighter soon for you. *hugs*
I haven’t commented you for a while. It’s kind of confusing actually. I feel bad if I forget to reply to anyone’s comments. But I also feel bad if I keep commenting people. I mean you’re too nice to just ignore someone. So I kind of feel bad for leaving you another comment to reply to. O_O
It must be kind of strange to be away even for a day, because there’s always so much for you to do. It’s nice that you have so many people who noticed your absence. I could be away for a few weeks and nobody would really notice. I would probably have a few comments to reply to when I get back but that’s about it. When it comes to my friends, they know I go through these really unsociable phases and they leave me to it. :P
I don’t think you have any reason to feel selfish. I’m not going to pry into your personal life but, while there are certainly people who “have it worse” you should never think that your sufferings don’t mean anything.
It’s always great that you look on the bright side of everything though.
The only reason I didn’t notice your disappearance was because I wasn’t around either.
Be strong, Georgie. ♥ ♥ ♥ I believe in you!
In all honesty, I don’t know what else to say.
I’m better as a listener and helping with specific problems. When I try to help encourage and make things better, it either does nothing or makes it worse.
I know you can make it through this, though. :)
Hi, I read your post, sound interesting, I’ve only 1 closet friend who came on internet, we daily have talk more then 4 hours on chat.
and also text message talk many times in a day, and when he does not come online I always leave him a message that what had happen, and mostly he replies me.
we are good friends, and have a great time since 2 year now.
I want to know, what did you conclude after this 24hours period of time ?
In regards to having time off the internet, I realise that I can take my time with my duties and I shouldn’t pressure myself into tasks when they can wait. It’s possible to live without the internet.
I admit that I didn’t realize that you were gone but I just got access to the internet since my laptop was broken. I honestly don’t think I would have realized that you were gone nonetheless because I update on a weekly basis so you not updating in four days doesn’t seem so bad. I guess people who are closer to you did notice which is a good thing.
I think there are always people who are worse off than us but that doesn’t make your situation okay. I wish there was something I could do to help because being hit isn’t right, at all. Unless it’s something like a spanking for discipline, being struck in the head or anything of that sorts is wrong. I know you may not want to tell the authorities because you may not have options of where to go or what to do but it’s still not right. Also please don’t blame yourself, there’s nothing you can do that’s bad enough for you to be put in physical danger.
Being hospitalized is definitely worse though and I don’t know, I wish there was something I could do to help. I hope you stay safe though and things work out for you and your friend.
It’s always nice to see when people miss us, hmm? (:
But I really think that you should do something, Georgie. Obviously these people love you and miss you even if you’re just gone for a day. They’d be willing and able to help you, and once you’ve gotten out, then you’re out. You wouldn’t have to worry anymore.
Maybe ask James, Sebb, or Lillian to see if they could help? You just mention them a lot, so it seems like they’d be willing to help you if you were gonna try and escape something like that…
:love: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ times 238947293479283749823749 girl.
I’ve been a bit busy so I forget to go online but I have noticed that you were goneee. :( :( I wondered where you were & normally whenever Rachel signs off you sign on & when you didn’t, I was curious.
I’m sorry you have to go through what you’re going through, Georgie. It’s not right of your mom to lay a hand on you like that. Honestly. No matter what her ethnicity or what you did (which was probably not even bad), you don’t deserve it. You honestly don’t. Yes, we can be selfish sometimes, but that doesn’t deserve a beating unless you stole from her or something! & I know you would never do something like that.
You’re 19. You’re almost 20. You’re practically in your 20s. You’re an adult & you should not be hit. Your mom needs to stop because what she is doing is not teaching you a lesson, it’s making life so much harder on you. It’s not right & someone needs to get her to quit it. I know that if you talk back to her, she’ll killll you. I really think you should run away to James’s house so that she’ll realize that she’s being intolerable. I know she’ll get super angry at you, but what she’s doing to you is NOT RIGHT. It’s making me really sad just to read how much shit you get put through. I’m so sorry. *hugs*
Involving the police would make your parents hate you forever. I think the best way to go about this is to honestly tell your mom that you’ve had enough. Fight back. If you tell her that she makes you feel like you’d rather be dead than living, it might strike her in some way that makes her realize how horrible she’s been to you. I know you appreciate that you’re still able to live under her roof & go to school & all that, but how much of a relationship do you have left with your mom? I hear more bad things about your relationship with her than good.
Me thinks you should go see James so you can get your package from me. It’s been months & you deserve to smile. :)
BY THE WAY, if you effin’ disappear from this internet forever, I will be so incredibly sad. You’re the only other person I can truly talk to about anything. I have a new addition to that list, Rachel!, but of course, YOU are the girl that I met first, & you are the girl who talks to me about shiz & I talk to you about shiz. We GET ITZ. I’d probably cry if I found out you died in a tragic accident so PLEASE DO NOT DISAPPEAR. I LOVE YOU & I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU LEAVEEE.
Again, I promised I’d write a longer comment and here I am. I’m not much on my domain any more, but I do update it by accepting comments. I’m only doing that so that I won’t stay on the internet for so long. Maybe it’s the internet addiction that I have that is “keeping” the voices here and making them worse and have off days?
I also have a 3 twilight books to read. I’m on chapter 4 of “Twilight” already. I can’t believe it. It’s really good, you should try reading it some time. I know you don’t like vampires or wolves but it’s really a good movie/book. Of course the book(s) are a little more detailed than the movies are but meh.
So I’m still sorry you feel this way. I can remember the times when my dad used to slap me across the face and kick me in the back. I could’ve called the authorities on him for that, but I didn’t want to be away from him because he’s my birth father. And he admitted he needed help and he got the help he needed. I also asked/told him that if he kept hitting me the way he does, there might be some damage later on. He quit slapping me in my sophomore year, before our beloved cat Po died of old age. That’s when he got help. And that’s when the abuse stopped. I still fear him that he might hit me, but I know he won’t because of my mental illness. But still; I have that fear not to burn his bridges before they’re hatched. Ya know?
I agree with Vanessa, that noone deserves to be slapped across the face no matter what the situation is or maybe. I hope things are doing well; and that you and your mom can do a reconciliation. *hugs*.
My friend Calliope found out yesterday that my hair doesn’t do anything at all. She’s a big hair person (not as in she has big hair, but she’s big about hair, you know?) and knows all kinds of random things about it, and she was completely taken by surprise when nothing she did made my hair have any volume, movement, or curl whatsoever, even though every technique was guaranteed to have SOME sort of effect. XD It’s too bad… I think it would be nice to try out wavy hair once in a while. :(
Ugh, I would not want to stay up until 2:00 AM if I had something important to do the next day. In high school, when I had to be up at 5:20, I hated it if I fell asleep past 9:30. Of course, I usually did because I couldn’t go to bed until Yemaya did because she’s always loud in the hallway even when everyone tells her to be quiet, so I usually ended up falling asleep at about 10:30. :/ I would say THANK GOD for this summer (although I didn’t have to wake up early for college this year), but I’m too freaked out by everything that I need and cannot get (job, insurance). I need something to do so I’m not so frantic. :/
It’s hard to tell when someone has really disappeared, because sometimes they’re only gone for a couple weeks before they update again. I suppose it depends on how frequently you normally update. I’d notice if you were gone for two or three weeks, probably partly because… I don’t know, of how often I go online, I guess (or how often I visit here, rather). Of course people would notice if you were gone. :P
There’s always someone who has it worse than we. What I worry about is the last person, who has it worse than everyone else.
You know, when you don’t blog for a long time, your visitors notice. I guess I’m a bit behind in the blogging area, but I know that everyone will notice. First off, your such a consistent blogger, second, everyone would get worried because you are an amazing online & offline friend.
I’m sorry that you have to put up with staying at home and arguements with your mum. You are a great daughter, you not one of those people who do bad things. But, smile everyday because you have a reason to. Smile today because you have a comfortable bed and you’re not sleeping outside on the streets. Smile tomorrow at the lovely friends you have who will always be there. Smile the next day because you still have a family that cares for you even if they don’t show it at times.
Do you get physically beaten by your parents? Because that’s just not good at all. If they do it often, you ave to talk to them about it.
In reply to your comment, yeah I hope my slr is safe as well. It should come in the next few days. :D Popcorn makes my mouth dry so I never really eat massive amounts in the moviesbut I love caramel popcorn! :D haha. Rollerblading! I haven’t done that for years and besides, I can’t do it. heh. I’m terrible. I always have this thing where I think I’m going to fall, like ice-skating.
I actually wondered where you were. We don’t talk much on MSN or Twitter but I noticed that you weren’t online. And I was also surprised to see that you hadn’t blogged, since you usually blog every two or three days. I like reading your blogs even if I don’t comment on all of them.
I’m really sorry about things at home. :( It really sucks. DON’T LEAVE THE INTERNET. I would miss you a lot. There are so many people who would. You’ve got so many great friends both online and offline, you know we’ll be there with you.
It seriously sucks so much that you were physically abused. You’re such a good daughter; it’s so unfair.
Wow, he had to be hospitalized? D: That’s just…too much.
I hope you’re feeling better now. I hope you do. Don’t forget, we’re always there for you. And keep on smiling. :)
BTW, I’m almost done with my site. I’ll open it today maybe, or tomorrow.
I’d feel the same way. I hate getting things confiscated too. /argh I don’t think I ever got anything confiscated. That sucks. I’d feel lost without the phone and computer. I’d be so bored out of my mind. I’ll probably end up reading the Charmed Book series one after another. Haha. ;)
Lmao. People must think she’s a nut. Can you imagine her yelling into the phone and people are staring at her? They’d be like, “Something must be wrong wih her?” :P Sometimes I can’t hear the person on the end of the phone too. My volume is turned up all the way. I tell them to speak louder.
Wow. Sometimes I wished I had internet. I don’t have to wait an hour or reset my library card. I can get on and stay as long as I like. I know. I really need to get some stuff done too. There’s job searching, updating the site, posting a new blog, leave and return comments. I can’t do that within one to two sessions. More like three to four sessions. I like to split it. Maybe one day, I can leave and return comments. The next day, I can update the site and post a new blog. At least so I don’t stress myself out. Job searching is something I have to do everyday.
I try not to have so many websites. Twitter, Outspoken Truth, Tumblr and Facebook is good enough for me. I decided not to do The Magic School Academy after all. Everyone is busy with school, friends and family. I don’t think the forum will be active very much.
It’s good to give yourself a break. Everyone needs it every now and then. if you don’t, you’ll stress yourself out. That’s no good.
Wow. That sucks. I’d feel the same way if I got my cellphone and laptop confiscated quite a few times. Yeah, I’d end up reading books too. I mean what else are you going to do? Sometimes there’s nothing to watch on t.v. You have to keep yourself busy some how.
I know what you mean. I’ve seen people get angry over the phone a couple times. I’d be like, “Someone needs a chill pill.” One day, I was watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Reunion. When Alex starts to vent, she breaks out into hives on her neck. You could see it. I was like, “Yikes.” Sometimes I see people talking real loud on their phone. In the public library, inside and outside. On The Bus, they play random eletronic messages. One of them happen to say, “Please silence all mobiles and refrain from loud conversations.” Something like that.
Yeah, I don’t like to get snappy at my mom either. Believe me, I feel terrible after that. The best way to talk to her is calm and rashionally. Sometimes my mom gets moody and I have no idea why. They’re times where she gets snappy every now and then too.
Thanks. Yeah, I hope I find a job too. I haven’t had any luck lately. I have my good days and bad days. Sometimes I find something. Sometimes I don’t find anything. It just depends. I can’t wait to get my own internet. I can stay on it for as long as I want. No more waiting. No more renewing my library card. No more annoying people. Too much list. Haha. :P
Yeah, I haven’t been to Skeleton MB lately. I’ve been trying to catch up on everything. Trying to update the site, post a new blog, leave and return comments. So, it doesn’t give me much time to check out Skeleton MB. Once everything settles down then I will. Right now, it seems so heck it at the moment.
You should keep the sites that mean to you like Heartdrops, etc. Get rid of the other sites that you don’t want. If your heart is not into it then why keep it? You know what I mean.
Yeah, I know the feeling. I’d find it hard to keep myself busy when I have no laptop too. /argh There’s nothing on t.v. You already read the same books. Your friends are too busy to hang-out. Stuff like that. You could borrow a book, CD or DVD at your public library? That’s what I do. Sometimes it’s boring to borrow the same thing over and over again. I try to borrow something different. I don’t know. Maybe something to think about. :D
I like to go out walking, people watch, window shopping, etc. Staying house too long drives me crazy. I need to go out for a while. Smell that fresh air.
The best way is to talk to your mom calmly. No swearing. No yelling. Just calmly. If you go ballistic on her ass, things will definitely get out of a hand. It could turn violent. Stuff like that. Something to think about the next time you and your mom has an disagreement. Damn. I should like a psychologist. Talk about reverse psychology. Haha. XD
Yeah, I just have to keep looking like what I’m doing. I need to keep my head up high. Eventually, someone will hire me. It does takes time and patient. Once I get a job, I look forward not having to come to the library anymore to use the internet.
I’m glad to hear Skeletons is still very much alive. :) A while ago, I went to the Invision Board site. They have a list of forums, so I went to check out some of them. They were all not active. I was so surprised. Even this one forum that copy me.
Haha. Georgina’s never ending sites. :P I bet your going to open up more sites later on. :D