Tell Me That You’re Alright
I’ve been slowly trying to overcome the events of the last few days, including some that I don’t wish to detail. I hate to write about pain and suffering too much, but I’ll be a hundred percent honest and say that right now, as of writing this, I’m alright.
I haven’t gotten around to responding to all the comments from my past few blog posts but I read through many of them and I am so grateful for all the support. ♥️ It’s just what I need to keep myself cheered up.
I still feel worried about the near future, at least until university starts again. I know many people are always excited about holidays and breaks, but I start to despise them because of lack of things to keep me busy and to do.
I’m not saying last semester was imperfect by far – but I really want to be on the ball when uni starts again, and I’m not going to let any shit blow up in my face. Last semester was a rollercoaster in the last week: emotionally, physically and mentally. Lots of group work troubles, lots of travelling to do, and extreme blow-ups with people who don’t even understand HTML.
Speaking of code, the past few rough days – or the past week, was it? – I didn’t see code for days while Fin (my laptop) was taken away, and it was not pretty. It sounds weird to say that I live and breathe code, but the whole atmosphere of coding, designing and blogging is something that sort of revolves around me every day. I think I went into a crying stupor because of my lack of access to the internet and because I did not see code. @_@ Call me a geek or what.
Let me say that those few days with no (or limited) internet access were hell but it’s made me realise just how addicted I am. I’m going to stop putting so much pressure on myself. My hobbies are just websites and I need to get my priorities straight! My mum has given Fin back. I missed him. :P
Having said that, thanks to Sebby’s idea, I’m running off for a “grace week”, beginning 27th July (university starts the week after that). I won’t stand to have the edges of my semester break ripped to pieces. So that week, I’m going to be heading out to James’s house, going to university before it actually starts, going shopping – going back into routine.
My mother believes that’s when it starts. Yes, I feel gingerly nasty for telling a lie, but in all honesty, I need to get away for some time. I need to see Lilian and exchange late birthday gifts, I need to see James, and I want to get some proper fresh air. It’s just a week.
It’s been pretty much a whole month since university ended, and I haven’t even been outside of the house other than to go to work and shop with my mum.
I honestly hate lying as well, but I need out. I want out. And I’m getting out.