The Last Straw
I am a sensitive person, and I know that isn’t a valid excuse for anything. But when someone hurts my feelings, I don’t deny it. I’ve had friends hurt me in the past, and upon receiving an apology, have forgiven them.
When you forgive someone, I think it should be a given that they don’t do the same thing to hurt you again. As I mentioned in a previous post of mine… don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you receive forgiveness from someone, it’s not a ticket to give you another chance.
Some people aren’t that forgiving. Some people will not give you a second chance. For example, if a girl is cheated on by her boyfriend, it could take her a lot to think and believe that he wouldn’t do it again. It is understandable that people make mistakes, which is understandable why there is such thing as forgiveness.
But how many chances are you willing to give someone? Me – I’m a sensitive person. I’m easily hurt by things people say or do, and I will attempt to hold a grudge against someone – but fail. Numerous times I have tried to completely ignore my younger brother after he has been rude to me. I think it might differ for family compared to friends, though. I cannot ignore those in my family. Though once, my mum refused to talk to me when we had a fight some years back.
It isn’t nice to be ignored.
I know the feeling… which is probably why I give people another chance. I have the belief and faith in them that they know what they did wrong. I also know that if I didn’t talk to them, they would be deeply affected – especially if that person is a friend.
Earlier this year, in the summer (January) my mum was ill, and I had to go to work several days a week. I had two jobs, and one of them required me to be away from home for about 12 hours every day. I enjoyed it but it took up a lot of my time. During this time, I kept on updating my blog every night, but I wasn’t able to return comments as quickly as I wanted to.
Someone whom I thought was my friend felt the need to complain. Fair enough – I explained my situation. Today that person had the nerve to get bitchy towards me, saying that they “understood” that I was busy, but claimed that I didn’t respond to their comments.
I cannot believe people do this at all. I cannot believe that people expect others to respond to their comments. It isn’t even a requirement, as Lilian put it. If I wasn’t known for returning my comments, people wouldn’t expect this shit from me. And that for me was the last straw. It deeply hurt my feelings that someone, whom I thought was a friend, would be so selfish as to want me to reply to their comments. Clearly it is not obvious that I now have two jobs, university, and a life to live – and cooking lunch for my brother on weekends – on top of that, household chores.
It was the last straw. I cannot stand people hurting me. My life doesn’t revolve around you. It is the most inconsiderate and disrespectful thing I have heard. I gave this person enough chances already, and enough is enough. There are only so many times you can forgive someone, and I will not be repeatedly hurt like this.
On a brighter note, thank you to those who have answered some questions for my media assignment. Let me know if you’d like to help out answering some questions about blogging! :)
You probably already know this, but I’m sensitive too haha. More so when I was younger. I used to worry about what people thought of me, and it would eat me whenever I thought a friend was mad at me. I remember how one friend told me she didn’t want to be friends anymore. I didn’t know why, so I thought about it for most of the day (luckly my history test on that day was cancelled…)
Ignoring family… once when I was a kid I got into trouble (can’t remember why) and my dad ignored me for days. It was worse since it was only us two living together at the time. It was weird and awkward sometimes.
It sucks that your friend didn’t really understand your situation. She may have been going through a situation herself, but even so, she still shouldn’t have taken it on you. I hope things get better. ^^
I tend to see forgiveness as a one-shot thing. Use it once, and it’s fine. Try and exploit it, and soon you’d rather wish you had not. Although, I find forgiveness extremely difficulte 3: I can hold a pretty nasty grudge /um
What a jerk. Seriously. You’re better off without them. Hlalng!
Sucks how eventually you realise people may not be worth the time you put into them, ay. D:
It’s obvious she just wanted some reciprocation of the attention she put into you; how lame. I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s not the way friends are made. /eee
To have all of that going on, and to have to do those things everyday, you’re still one of the most dedicated webowners that I know. It is extremely unfair, and uncalled for, for *anyone* to complain about you o.O I don’t see why they think they’re so super duper special.
As you said, your life doesn’t revolve around them… And I think they’ll be O.K if you don’t return their comment within the time they expect you to xp I don’t understand why people feel the need to be so inconsiderate and selfish.
I would definitely be pretty iffy about this person, if it’s the second time they’ve done it. But maybe they’ll realize and won’t do it a third time c:
Haha this was actually the fourth time (or I dunno, I lost count) that they complained about the same thing. It was just it for me!
But thank you! ♥
Ergh I can sure empathise here, dude.
At first its understandable that people do make mistakes. However, it seems to me that after forgiving the time, if they aren’t your best friend or at least close like that, they seem to begin taking it for granted, especially if you forgive them more then once.
It is especially amusing when they claim that they UNDERSTAND what you’re going through, but then they completely DISREGARD that by obviously not understanding and abusing their rights as a friend of yours.
Really hope you get on top of things and stuffage works out for you <3
That’s okay. I understand. That happened to me once, that many people see a TV show and I don’t watch it. But luckily, you can always see them whenever you want.
You’re totally right. Get good marks, it is always a motivation 👏
I’ve never heard anything from them, but now I’m listening to a song from them, their music sounds good. Thanks for the information about Anberlin :)
I also believe that original The promise was sung by The Smiths. Although also it was sung Tracy Chapman.
I know. Sometimes in such shows is someone who sings well. I think so too.
I’m sure the bands you like will return to Australia. I understand what you say, because in my city doesn’t act most of the bands I like. To go to a concert by a band I like, I have to go to Madrid (a city that is 500 kilometers from where I live), and where they come most of the bands I like.
I’m too a sensitive person, when I was younger I worried about what people thought about me, I always felt judged by anything I did, even the most insignificant.
Forgiving someone who hurt you isn’t bad, is something that makes you feel good about yourself.
It is true that when you forgive someone, you’re not giving a second chance. Although some people take it that way.
You’re right, it isn’t nice to be ignored, and especially by a member of your family :(
It is unfortunate that your friend didn’tt really be understood to mean your situation. I hope things will settle among yourselves :)
I understand your situation, because I’m busy with the University and others things, and don’t return comments very often.
I’d like help you to answer some questions about blogging.
personally, i think i forgive people a little too easily. if someone annoys/upsets me, i’ll try to be angry with them but it doesnt really work.
‘saying that they “understood” that I was busy, but claimed that I didn’t respond to their comments.’ <– that drives me crazy! /angry the cheek that some people have is unbelievable. i hate when people get all sarcastic with me, especially as i dont always understand it /hmph
i hope it all works out for you!
lovely website by the way:) x
I’m sorry in advance for the potential crappiness of my comment, but in my defence, I still have 20 pages of crim law to read, it’s 2.13am, and I have a tension headache /um . I’M SORRY. I’ll do my best!
I agree. If you forgive someone, they shouldn’t see it as an invitation to do the same thing over and over again. There is no point in an apology if you’re just going to repeat your wrong INTENTIONALLY. That just makes it a complete tokenistic gesture amounting to worthlessness. It’s totally different if you can’t help it, but if you’ve hurt someone in the past, and you’ve apologised for it, that should be the last time you do it. Why do it again? Are you really that obtuse? JEEZ /ho .
You and me both know what it’s like to be ignored for something we DIDN’T do. Remember highschool? Hahaha! BUT you’re right, it’s not nice. I try to not ignore people, but sometimes they just ask for it. I’d prefer to forgive, but sometimes it’s just not possible anymore. If you give someone something like 40 billion chances, and they keep ruining them ALL, there’s got to be a point where the chance giving stops.
Especially if someone is a friend, I like to believe the best in them too. It’s hard when they decide to make it difficult. /angry
God, the NERVE of this person is UNBELIEVABLE. Really. What does she expect from you? Specialist treatment? Get stuffed! There are people more important to you than that selfish, immature bitch. It’s called PATIENCE. She should learn some. It’s so unreasonable to EXPECT you to return comments on top of all the stuff you already have to do. Has she any idea how many you HAVE? D: The COW!
I am so /angry on your behalf!
You deserve better treatment than that. She’s not worth your time!
You don’t have to apologise! I know you’re really busy and dying right now. *hugs* ♥
I agree! I thought maybe I’d give this person one last chance, since they apologised yet again. But I’m not that transparent and I’m not going to go through another similar ordeal only to have it eventually rip me to shreds again. I feel like I was disrespected in every which way (also including the other things I mentioned to you on MSN).
Some people don’t deserve more chances when they’ve had enough. I find it really easy to forgive people and a little harder to ignore them, but it also depends on the person. Sometimes it’s just the end, and I can’t afford to waste my time over multiple apologies when I have doubts about it not happening again.
That is just so selfish of your ‘friend’. I haven’t been in the web world long – and I don’t know you well apart from reading the blogs in the past month – but based on what you write I think it would take a lot for you to manage life and weblife. And I think it’s great to be able to. ;) Returning comments isn’t a requirement I think, but it’s a nice thing to do and if people don’t appreciate it they should just **** ***. 💥
Media assignment? I think I missed that one, but if I’m able to I’d like to help out. :D
Hey Georgina! :)
Yes, I agree, she never really explained that we were not supposed to work on it at home. But I’m hoping that she will let it go, cause its my entire class that did the same thing- work on it at home. And, It’s not like she can give the whole class a zero. 😰
That’s good, that you have no mean teachers at your university. I guess that mean teachers only happen to appear in middle and high school :P
Yes, if you are going to forgive someone and give them yet another chance, you can only forgive a person so much to the point where you cannot have their trust. But you have to look at their point of view. And if they truly want another chance then you should give it to them. I can relate to this because I have a friend who is an only child. And she has never really fit into groups of people because she always wants to be the center of attention. And almost every year she takes one person and clings to them like glue. And then that person gets mad at her and is no longer friends with her. This has happened in three different cases. But I am the only person who has really stuck around to be her friend over the years, And now I realize that I have given her way to many chances, And that I have forgiven her way to much /bash
Also, people should not expect to get a response from every person. Whoever did that should realize that people on the web, and people who own websites don’t have all the time in the world, and they cannot respond to the comment right away /ehh
Thanks for voting in my icon contest too!
oh man. i agree and understand how you feel 100%. forgive…but never forget. but most importantly, forgiving someone (above all) isn’t for anyone else’s sake, but your own. holding grudges, as you probably know, aren’t the best thing for your heart…it can make you become a really negative person. @_@
i’m really glad you told off your friend. OMG! when you said the world doesn’t revolve around you part…it reminded me of what i said to a “friend” a month back XDDD some people these days…you don’t need that “friend”…and over something so ridiculous as to returning comments? XD in my opinion, commenting someone’s blog isn’t like an obligation on the person being commented to comment back lol
but wow, 2 jobs ontop of school…i admire you, seriously! plus you’re a serious blogger… (H)
Thats horrible. Why would someone even do that. I do not get though why you put up with it for so long. If it were me I would have ignored them and blocked them out of my online life (since I think thats the only connection you two had).
I do it in my offline life as well. I need the time to get away from “you”, and maybe forgive “you” later. Everyone is different and some people don’t understand any part of the forgiveness process. Which frustrates the other person. if they don’t get it and don’t apologize I don’t believe hey have earned the second chance.
Anyway I hope everything is set straight on that issue.
You said all the right things. She can’t just expect her comment to be returned. It isn’t a requirement and she seriously needs to understand that. She has no special rights for this.
Anyway, I hope you have a great day. :)
it’s human to make mistakes, but you should learn by your mistakes, try to be a better person. after you’ve done a mistake, you’ve learned what’s wrong and right, but clearly not everyone does think the lesson is learned before the other one is truly hurt and there’s no way back.
i’m sorry to hear your friend didn’t understand your situation, i hope things get better for you! (:
I’m a Leo and I don’t forgive people easily. I’ve been hurt so many times in the past that I have grown to be a little cynical about people. I don’t trust people as much as I used to and it takes a long time before I open up myself to other people.
Though, I believe that people deserve a second chance, and some people deserve it more than others. But it really depends on the situation. If it is something that involves a breach of trust, I don’t think I’ll give the person another chance. Like what you said, if a guy cheats on a girl and asks for forgiveness later, how can the girl be sure that he won’t do it again in the future? And because of this, even though I believe in second chances, I also know people are not infallible; if you’ve done it once, you can do it again.
That sucks, people shouldn’t expect every comments to be returned as it is not an obligation even though it is a nice thing to do. If that someone wants/requires you to reply to his/her comment, he/she should come down to you and say it instead of bitching about it behind you. *hugs*
Oh I’m sorry, I thought The Piano was a horror movie. My bad, hehehe. I mean, I’m so used to seeing movies with titles that have combinations of The + noun such as The Ring, The Phone, The Host, The Happening, The Uninvited, etc. so when I see The Piano, I immediately thought it was another horror movie. Oh dear me. /um
I can use chopsticks now! Yay! But I still can’t hold it properly so once in a while the food will slip from between the chopsticks. Hahaha! XD
I’m the same as you, it takes so much of my energy to hold a grudge against anyone. Some of my friends use my kind heart to their advantage and hurt/use me loads. This year though I have stood my ground and removed loads of those people I called friends, who were in fact not friends from my life.
I’m sort of getting to the point if people wanted to talk to me and hang out with me they would. They wouldn’t wait for me to strike up the conversation and ask them to hang out. I’ve really found out who my true friends are.
I hope you’re ok.
Story of my life. -sigh-
I am a extremely sensitive person but many don’t know it because I just prefer for it not to show. People hurt me daily but you’d never know because I walk around “frontin” as my people would call it just acting like I could care less knowing that when I get home the tears are gonna start flowing. Thats how it was lastnight.
I try to hold grudges too but it never works. I swear that’ll I’ll never talk to certain people again but as soon as I get that text, call or something we’re back at it again. I never make the first attempt to talk to them though. It’s sort of sad though. Each time I left them back in they hurt me once again and I just continue to forgive them. One day, it’ll stop though .
Just like you, I’m a (really) sensitive person too. Little words or actions can affect me for weeks and even months. During that period of time, I can’t do anything because I’ll think over the matter again and again until it is somehow solved. It sort of sucks to be too sensitive, it’s like I’m torturing myself and wasting my precious time. /ehh
I have to admit that I did not know how to appreciate the forgiveness people gave. And most of the time… I didn’t really know what was/were my fault(s) unless that person was kind enough to tell me. /bash For example, I got scolded for eating my sister’s sweets. I’d think that my sister was angry because I ate them; but in fact, my sister was angry that I did not ask for permission to eat them. Get what I mean? O_O I’m rather slow in realising my faults 🤫 , but I try my best to overcome this weakness. Back then, I cared more for myself than the others, which is why I didn’t appreciate the forgiveness that was given. It was only until last year when some of my schoolmates forgave me, then only I know how important it is to appreciate the chances given.
In my opinion, it is also really important to forgive, and forget. I try to forgive people whenever I can because I understand the feeling of not being forgiven. It wasn’t nice to be ignored either. It used to bother me a lot if a close friend ignores me suddenly. Now, I’d message her asking for the reason first. But if she doesn’t want to tell me about it, then I’ll ignore that problem. I’ve given her the chance to talk about it, but she doesn’t want to, I don’t have much of a choice. It’s unfair, in my opinion, that I’m the only one who is aware of our friendship. Rather than saying it angers me, it hurts me more. :(
Ah, what Lilian said is true. Replying comments is never a must. I’m sorry that people take advantage of it, especially a friend. *Hug* I dislike it too when my friend does things like that. A few years ago, I used to buy snacks during recess time and would share them with my closest friend. I did that because I thought we are best friends, and best friends should share things together. One day, I did not have enough money to buy snacks and was somehow scolded for not doing it. Gee, it’s ok that she never returned any snacks but to think that she treated me as a free snacks machine really irked me. And there’s another friend of mine who treated me as a free newspaper supplier, and even scolded me for not bringing the newspaper whenever I forget. I offered to help her whenever I can, NOT every time. That really pissed me off. I am a person who can give anything to my friends (whom I really like) as long as I can afford it. It really hurts me to find out that I’m just being used. 😢
Anyway back to topic. I can understand why a blogger doesn’t reply to a comment (besides being busy). It’s either he/she has nothing to say or someone had written a similar comment as mine. I don’t think it’s appropriate to return the same reply on the same page – it’d look sort of awkward. I’m not good at commenting or replying comments, which is why it always take up a long time – an hour or two. Ah ~ COMMENTING IS NEVER EASY FOR ME. /wah
I hope you are feeling better now, Georgina! *HUG* ♥
Woo, look at this, this is equivalent to a blog post. D:
Georgie dear, please take your time with my email. It was long and kind of… painful to write, so really take all the time you need. ^-^ *hugs* Thanks for reading it and being there, sweetie.
Back to your post now: I’m horrified by the superficiality of this person; the top hit of selfishness and inconsideration. She (I’m using the pronoun because I see everyone in the comments using that) dares placing your life and blog comments on the same plate; she probably doesn’t know what hard life means. She can’t even imagine what having 2 jobs + university + life + family duties can put on your shoulders. Yet, all she cares about is to see her comments returned. It’s truly sad that human relationships are degradated to such nonsense, isn’t it? Like if a blog is all that counts. Some people tend to forget that there is a real person behind the screen, a person with a life (often not even an easy one) and then they expect that to be friendship. My aft (sorry, I had to say it).
I admire you, Georgie. I’m amazed at how many things you manage to fit within the 24 hours of a day. I didn’t even know you had two jobs; I admire you even more. You’re brave, forgiving, open-minded strong no matter how sensitive you are. Honestly, I like you very much, and that’s indeed why I think of you as a good friend. You’re one genuine, mature person. :)
You know, sometimes whether you and I are looking into the same mirror, because I can see a lot of myself in this post of yours (again, this is food for an email, but it’s going to be shorter this time – and no need to reply to that one soon, so don’t worry in the first place ^^).
– Luana S. ♥
It was just something I was discussing with Lilian, too – since when does the definition of “friend” amount to “I understand you’re busy but why don’t you return my comments?” Isn’t answer to said question in the question itself? It’s ridiculous.
I only got one job recently – but in the summer (January) I was juggling one also, just a temporary one in graphic design. This new job I got last month is a freelancing one where I’m designing and helping sort out a website for a small group. I guess it makes it easier that I can do things at home. ;)
I replied to your email! I hope it’s what you need to put a smile on your face. ♥ :)
Aww it did! ;) ♥ Thank you very much sweetie! I will reply back soon as I feel a little better (I wrote my whole new post on my old Compaq iPaq today, because typing too much on the PC tires me). I caught a damn cold. >.< Oh, I noticed you linked me up in your friends's links page. :) That's lovely of you. Thanks Georgie dear! And some people are... well, how to say that... just too ridiculous to even deal with them. I couldn't put it in a better way without cussing (which I hate, but recently I found myself doing it too much *sigh*) *HUGS* - Luana S.
You’re welcome! My links page needed a really big update, at that. :) And I know you linked me on your website too, and as I consider you one of my friends, I felt compelled to do the same. ♥
hey hun thx for ur comment on my logo, the “dp” is part of the logo its the key identifier of design a page i appreciate ur comment.. i understand fully ur blog im a sensitive person as well wen it comes to fighting.. ive lost my best friend because she kept on hurting me over and over again, people dont understand when enough is enough it makes me so angry..
I cannot believe people are like that … OMG Georgie has a life. Well damn! You don’t need the added stress of commenting ALL the time. Stuff that person xx :)
thx for ur suggestion.. what do u mean exactly, can u show me?
I reply to my comments when I can. I try to make those whom I have commented before for a longer time my top priority. But I still try to comment others who are just commenting back as well. Sometimes it takes longer, though. I have only had one person get mad at me because I blogged and replied to a few other people instead of replying to said friend. But I also try to reply in order, and yeah, sometimes I forget.
I don’t see why it should be such a big deal, you know? Sure, it’s nice to get comments, but you don’t have to get mad over not getting them.
Patience is key. (H) (Y) /bounce 😏 👏 /cool /eee /faw 🤫 /heart /hehe /hmph 🙄 ✌️ /wave 😝 :) :D :P ♥ ;) XD
I’m pretty sensitive as well, though I tend to just give people a lot of chances, or just not even let them know that it hurt my feelings at all. No one should be EXPECTED to return comments. If you’re commenting and doing it just to get comments back, there’s something wrong with that. And especially since it was a friend, they should understand. But I guess that’s when you see who your friends really are.
It’s good that you’ve decided enough is enough; I tend to have problems with that, haha. Though my ex-best friend, would always lie to me and do stupid shit and after awhile, I just called her on all the lies and when she still couldn’t even tell me the truth, I was just done. If she had told me ‘okay, yes I lied and I’m sorry’ it might have been different, but it just wasn’t worth it.
Work does suck. They called me to ask if I could work again yesterday, but I wasn’t home so I couldn’t~ I work again tomorrow though, and even though I have friday off.. I work 16 hours over saturday and sunday -_- Which is more than I usually have if I only worked the Friday and saturday or sunday. But I’m glad I have the Friday off :D
I haven’t written a huge post in awhile, other than the one I wrote yesterday xD but that was only because a lot of intese stuff happened for me to write about, haha. My life has been to boring to blog about lately xD
LOL yeah I wonder what was in the note to make him eat it xD Maybe it wasn’t THAT bad but he knew he could still get in trouble for it, even if it was small. Teachers are weird like that sometimes.
I’m glad you’re feeling better now and that you’re not going to accept her apology. You don’t need people like that in your life. Especially when they are being two-faced and talking about you behind your back.
I know Currar is a keeper. I don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship like this one. It’s amazing and we get on so well. He is not only my boyfriend, but my best friend, my lover, my other half and my everything.
I have joined the forum, but I haven’t been on there forever. Will have to start posting again. I went through a stage a while back when I got over MB’s because of the drama that kept going on that was always so petty. But I’m getting pretty bored these days and need something to do so I’m getting back into it. I miss them loads.
I completely agree with what you say about being sensitive – I’m very much the same way myself. I’m often willing to forgive if I believe the person is genuinely sorry, but once it’s lost even temporarily, my trust in someone can never be restored to the same degree it was before.
What your “friend” was complaining about though is just so terribly rude, and frankly, ridiculous. Responding to comments isn’t your job; it’s not an obligation! I agree that that sort of attitude is incredibly selfish, especially when we all know you actually have a very busy life offline. She sounds like a demanding toddler. Actually, worse – because I don’t doubt she’s old enough to know better. :(
To be honest, I think you’re amazing to be able to juggle all these things as well as you do. Just thought I’d tell you that, because I often think it when I read your blogs and I don’t think I ever actually say it! :)