The end is the beginning
You are a wonderful person and I am very lucky to know you.
Love always, Jeremy
This message that Jeremy wrote on his EP really lifted my spirits.
I was wondering if I had ever experienced a case of “too good to be true”.
The day before Halloween, I lost my job.
It’s not something I want to/should detail, but when I asked, I wasn’t given a reason why. I just had to leave. I would have been satisfied with explanations of anything I had done wrong to lead to my employment being terminated (getting distracted by instant messaging; being late; having an attitude; whatever), but I didn’t get anything. I was obviously not wanted, or needed, so I went through the process of grabbing all my belongings, returning anything that did not belong to me, and left.
That’s all I’ll say about that.
It was a quiet train ride home as I sat next to Tristan, who helped me carry my various coffee mugs, food from the kitchen and other stationery I had kept with me in the two years I had worked there. I didn’t shed a single tear, and I remained fierce. I dearly loved my job, being able to do something I loved as part of my career, but I guess that dream is over now. I’m not going to cry about it or mope about how I have no income, nope — I’m going to move on.
It’s so close to the end of the year that I don’t feel like looking for work right now. In fact, this could all be a lovely new start. Tristan said all my problems are now gone, really — I was often stressed about how little time I had for university, and now, a week before the end, I have all week to work on things. There were many other things that were on my mind and little bits and pieces I wanted to do, mainly to do with cleaning my blog and the websites I have decided to stop running over the past year. Every single one of my close friends would constantly tell me that I needed a break, and I never seemed to give myself one (and nor did anyone else). Now that I am
jobless , it does serve as an opportunity to enjoy my own company, as well as my friends’, and rebuild things I may have accidentally knocked over on the way. It was heartwarming to hear words from my friends about how I’d be okay. Their confidence in me made me want to cry, because you just don’t find beautiful friends like that all the time. So yeah, here’s to losing jobs. Ha hahahah.
So — whatever really. I’ve nearly got a masters degree under my belt, I have enough experience to keep going. I have interests in photography which have potential to get me somewhere, and I could even move onto music journalism. I may work in web design again, I may not. I have a ton of connections and it’s not the end of the world. I have so much I want to do and can do, and this isn’t going to faze me. I’m so proud of myself for taking it so well. I mean, getting fired isn’t the greatest, but — if life gives you watermelons, make grilled watermelon sandwiches.
That is to say, if life gives you something kind-of-awesome — go and make something bloody fucking amazing out of it.
I can do whatever I want.
You know what the best part is? James and I are going to Hong Kong and Japan in December.