Spirit Got Lost

What I’m about to detail is… a little controversial, I guess. 😰 A little opinionated, perhaps. But still, very much along the lines of spiritual abuse.

For quite some time now, I feel that I am not the same Catholic girl I was when I was much younger. I feel like I have drifted from God, and I don’t see his help in me the way I see his help in others. I feel like I don’t have the same kind of faith. To me, that’s okay. People disaffiliate from religions often, for their own reasons. People maybe stop having belief in a deity and to me that is completely fine.

I’ve still attended church regularly for many years, and often, though there are a few different priests at my church, I find some of their words really worth noting. Some of the things they say are true, and I agree with them.

Tonight was an exception. I quote from Wikipedia’s definition of spiritual abuse, one example: “any act by deeds or words that demean, humiliate or shame the natural worth and dignity of a person as a human being”.

That is what I feel took place today. A different priest was giving the mass, and I was so infuriated and hurt by his words that it made me want to storm up to the altar and throw the candles to the floor. My eyes were already filling up with tears and I struggled to hide my face behind my curtain of hair.

He was passionate about what he was saying. He was telling us how insignificant we were, and that we were not even important. He elaborated on that point, saying that it didn’t matter who we were. He said that we were simply insignificant. Even if we were the “richest person in the town” – basically everything we did, is nothing.

I just found that insulting. His tone of voice was firm, and he spoke so loudly that even the loud cries of the baby a few metres away could barely be heard from where I was sitting. What he was saying really angered me. It also hurt.

It was also degrading the way he called us “nothings” in making his point, yet referred to us as “my dear people” afterwards. I was actually so hurt. He said that we didn’t come to church because we are holy, but we go because we admit we are pretty much worthless, and we go to learn the value of life. I felt like I was being yelled at and told off.

Something along those lines. Now as far as I know – and I’m no religious leader – but that is not the way you preach. As I said, it hurt me very much, and I actually started crying. In an effort to hide my tears, my jumper sleeves got wet.

I’ve just had a bad week overall, and this (if you see Sunday as the end of the week) is not a good way to end it. I don’t know if you can tell when someone is stressed, but I feel like it now.

Today I went to the markets, and bought four cheap rings. They ranged from just $1 to $2. I’ve been taking a liking to rings lately. I used to wear a lot of bracelets, but I stopped wearing them because they eventually began to feel heavy and get annoying. Rings are just as nice. :)

The rain didn’t really help my mood today; it was pouring all day. On the bright side, a plant in our garden just flowered, and I think it only flowers once a season. I’m not sure; hopefully it’s still up tomorrow morning so can take a photo of it. I forgot what it was called. /um

Comments on this post


Spiritual abuse :O. How horrid D:. I absolutely cannot stand people who feel the need to spiritually abuse others. It’s demeaning, pompous, arrogant and UNETHICAL. IMMORAL even. I can not BELIEVE your priest. I’m not even anywhere CLOSE to Catholic, but I firmly believe that no religion is going to imply that you, as a human being, are worthless nonentities. The priest is obviously mistaken in his beliefs or extraordinarily arrogant.

Even if that wasn’t what he MEANT, he should have chosen his words correctly. Okay, so we’re “insignificant” in the whole grand scheme of things. Well we’re not worthless. Being insignificant doesn’t automatically equate to being unimportant. An atom is too small to register by plain sight, so you could say, that its mass is insignificant, yet look how important they are? In fact, we’re NOT insignificant, we’re just SMALLER in the whole grand scheme.

Was your priest trying to depress you all? God! “Everything you do is useless”. Gee, thanks. I’ll go commit suicide now. Oh, oops. I forgot. That’s a sin. Guess I’ll have to continue living my WORTHLESS life *sarcasm*. Reading your blog has me SO enraged at your priest!

How DARE he tell you why you go to church! HMPH! /angry

*HUGS*. He’s EVIL for making you cry. THAT IS A SIN! A SIN, I TELL YOU!

You have had a pretty bad week. That sermon was a horrible way to end it. :( ♥

At least you got some rings :). As I was telling you, I had better go get some more so I don’t look like I’m engaged. *Sigh*. Hahaha rings that fit on other fingers, please!

YAY for your flowers blooming :). Flowers are so pretty!

I had to look into a bit of religious stuff before even coming across the term! Yesterday was the first I’d heard of it. I knew there must be something to describe my priest that day. He sounded arrogant, too. I felt like he thought he was so high above us and better than us in his tone of voice, yet he said that being arrogant was a sin.

I guess we are insignificant compared to God, from such a point of view, but he definitely didn’t make that clear and his tone of voice did not help.

Haha, I look ling bling-woman with my new rings! I need a new ring to replace my “engagement” one. It is loose and keeps falling off. I can’t seem to find many rings that fit my fingers. :(

I believe that is people like that priest that make people not respect religions. I’m not religious myself, but I always try to respect the religions of others. But what he did, calling all the people in the church that they’re nothing is really wrong. I hope that someone speaks with the people in charge of the church so he can be kicked out :/

I think uni is taking a greater toll on us this semester. Assignments are becoming bigger and harder, and it doesn’t help that as we become older, we have to start worrying about more stuff. I hope next year isn’t so bad…

Damn priests. He probably had a bad day trying to grope some poor kid.
How could anyone possibly bleieve that crap? He’s obviously trying to sell you a cure to a problem noone necessarily has. He does not have the right or the power to judge on the worthiness of anyone or anything. Western religion is, for the most part, retarded. Seriously.(And if anyone reads this and thinks that someday I’ll burn in hell forever, think about this: You’re an idiot.)

That flower was
A Dandylion! /frog


That’s horrid, that your priest would say that! /angry For everyone to go to church every Sunday and honor their religion, and for that priest to tell the whole group of people that they are worthless. A nothing. I have never heard of spiritual abuse before though. Anyways, I don’t know much about going to chruch, as I do not have or study a religion, I guess I am along the lines of atheist? But even from my point of view that sounds wrong to say that.

Ah, yes I used to wear necklaces and necklaces everyday. At least 5 or 6 of them. But after a while it started to feel as if the necklaces were pulling my neck down. And It was hurting my neck XD So I usually don’t wear much jewelery anymore. /bash

That’s good that you made it into a nice university. It seems as though last year, math was much easier for me and I was getting 80’s and up. And this year it just seems so hard. And I am getting 70’s and below. My mother and teacher keep giving constant lectures about how you have to be really strong in math if you want to get into a nice university or college, But I don’t think it applies if you are not studying anything in university that has to do with math. :D

When you said the priest preaching about us all being insignificant I thought of the idea that we are one person out of the forty-something billion on the planet and in that sense we are. But as you went on I felt sicker and sicker really. Nobody is worthless. Everyone means a great deal to somebody. Everyone has family, or friends. It disgusts me. Anybody who stands up and preaches such a thing just has no appreciation for individuals and doesn’t deserve to be in a position of teaching.

Actually, I’m trying to sound smart here. This guy is just talking a load of crap. I always think of preachers making people feel empowered, like they can go and do good in this world.

I would probably have been feeling the same. It seems like the kind of situation that’s so infuriating that you want to lash out but instead you just tear up.

Hopefully you’ll have a good week next week. Stressful weeks are the worst. It’s really cute in a way that the plant flowered. It came to cheer you up Georgina!

Thanks for the category code. I looked up the functions in the Codex and there was such a huge list I couldn’t even begin to find it. I’ve changed the ol tags to ul and I’m trying to style it but I have no idea what to put in my stylesheet. I’m just going to try and take it slow. I’ve gone and somehow got the gravatars stuck on one size and I can’t change them which is annoying me. I can’t change the default one either.

I couldn’t stand having so much music and not listening to it. I’m one of those people who loves to discover new favourites.

Thanks. I was really insistent that it was my own so I kind of drew over a font and convinced myself it was my own. :P

You must get stressed quite a bit if you have to force yourself to sleep. I like my sleep and I normally have to force myself to stay up to finish things. Even a few minutes of sleep on a train must help though.

Ah, I really didn’t like “Big Girls Don’t Cry”, I thought it was quite whiny and her voice sounded really nasally. I think the song I loved was the Black Eyed Peas one “Where Is The Love”. It was the first one of theirs I heard. I actually really like their newer one too, “I Gotta Feeling”.

Hey :)

In a way I feel completely the same away as you. I’m Catholic as well and attend mass regularly, but I definitely do not feel as close to God as I have felt before. I would’ve been angered if one of my priests had preached that during mass. I probably would’ve been infuriated. To be honest, I felt like I went through this as well, although it wasn’t the same sermon and I wasn’t directly targeted.

When California was voting to appeal/pass Prop 8 to legalize gay marriage, the church obviously opposed it. But the priest included it in his sermon to say that we should vote to not legalize gay marriage and that it wasn’t “right.” It was just irritating, primarily because I have cousins that prefer the same sex and they themselves are Catholic as well. It just made a bigger drift between the church and I.

Nevertheless, I hope you do feel better. Yay for retail therapy and I wish the flowers I planted would grow. :(

ahhh sorry to hear about that. everyone has their own opinions on their own faith. i am not christian/catholic but i took several theology courses and lots of big people in theology (and philosophy) hold onto the belief that we are insignificant compared to God and stuff like that. i know how you feel though…i don’t like the concept of being belittled like that either. :( don’t take his words too personally /eee

btw it’s good to have controversial blogs. makes things more interesting ;)

Ahhh kangarooooos :( but they’re soo cute. :( I’m sure most vegetarians say the same thing about cows & pigs though. They are cute animals, but they’re also very cute tasty animals…whyyy? Sometimes I wish I could just give up meat & become a pescetarian so I’d only eat fish, but..I can’t….I love…meat..whyyyy???!?!

To be honest, every single living form on this Earth is of no worth to anyone else but those that live here. Does that make sense? A homeless man on the street outside my apartment means nothing to someone in the UK who doesn’t even know of his existence. Everyone is worth something to someone, the amount they are worth varies. For example, you are worth a lot to me because I love you dearly & you’ve been an amazing online pal. But are you worth anything to say..the Chairman of China? No. We’re all worthless, but we’re also very worthy at the same time. I could tell you not to let it get to you, but it already has.

Seriously, that priest is off his rocker & what he said is stupid. We assign intrinsic values to everything from a piece of metal (gold) to paper (money). To an alien living in another galaxy, these things are shit & worthless..but to us, we value them. We assign our own values & if he were a real servant of God, he’d be preaching that each & every one of you are gifts from God or something like that.

Your existence on this Earth goes without notice unless you touch someone’s soul. In this case, you’ve touched the souls of many so you’re definitely not nothing or worthless. Maybe to my brother who doesn’t know you, but not to me. :) Feel better, Georgina. I love the rain, it makes me happy, but it is very gloomy.

I hope you took a picture of that flower!! :)

Let’s look at this another way. In Christianity, some people tend to believe that humans are very insignificant in the eyes of God, and that in the grand scheme of things, what a person does doesn’t make much of a difference to God. This is what I think the priest was getting at, and I tend to ignore that creed, though I’m speaking as a non-Christian. Maybe the priest was just presenting that concept really really badly, maybe he really doesn’t mean well at all like you said.

However, I tend to believe in the fact, “God helps those who helps themselves.” Therefore, (according to my own belief), people’s action are quite significant. And people seem to be taking this approach to religion lately.

May I ask how the rest of the parish reacted?

Hahaha @ James. I started laughing bigtime at what he said about groping the kid … You know he could be right.
I was baptised Lutheran (Mum being Scandinavian and dad atheist). I went to church right up until confirmation and then I never went back. I had my reasons, family tragedy struck among other things and I needed answers and never got them so I stopped believing.
What he said to you was SO wrong. How can he be a priest? He sounded more like Hitler in a sense … Big fat jerkface … And churches wonder why people stop going or believing … ♥ ♥
Oh, and you are not nothing, you are something, something pretty special. Remember that ♥ ♥ ♥

WTF, why is that dude even a pastor? That just makes no sense. Like, okay I could understand the insignificant part, as in compared to the whole world, we’re just one person out of seven billion.. but no one means nothing. The things people do, are not nothing. Working for years to try to find a cure for cancer, is that nothing? Running into a burning building every day to save lives, is that nothing? Saving peoples lives by giving them surgeries that they need.. is that nothing? No. Because to someone, that is EVERYTHING because it gives them their live back. Or their friend back. Or their mother back. It’s the furthest thing from nothing.

I’m sorry you had a bad week. Mine wasn’t that much better, but I’m hoping that this week will be <3 Post a picture of the rings, I LOVE rings :D

I think it’s okay that people are not religious. It’s life and their choice if they believe in God or not. There are some people who try to stuff religion down other people’s throats, and that really makes me angry.

I agree, it’s these kind of “religious” people that make people lose their faith in religion. What religion says that people are insignificant and unimportant? Even if he did truly believe that, it would certainly be offensive and hurtful to many people. Seriously, he said that people go to church because they’re worthless? /angry I don’t know ANY religion that says that who people are doesn’t matter and that we are worthless.

I’m really sorry about your bad week. *hug* I hope this week is better for you. :)

I don’t wear rings much. I like bracelets but I don’t wear those much either. :P The only jewellery that I wear often are ear tops.

Ah I wish it rained here! It’s REALLY hot. :S

I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time, but I always felt too shy to comment (I’m sorry if I sound like a creeper), this post hit a nerve I guess. Now, beforehand I’d like to say I’m an Orthodox, not a Catholic and the perception of the Bible/mass is a bit different.

Although I call myself an Orthodox and I fast and go to church I never go to mass because while I do believe in a God that loves me in all of my flaws and mistakes, I don’t believe in organized religion. It irks me when I go to Church and mass is about how flawed and horrible I am, I was taught in religion class (in the Orthodox rite priests marry and in the fourth grade we had to take religion taught by the wife of a priest-not sure of the English word for it) that God is love and we can make as many mistakes as possible and He would still forgive us, much like a parent forgives his children. That’s the God I believe in, not some wrathful man who wants to punish me for doing something wrong, a bystander in my life.

With that said, the priest you talk about is absolutely horrid. I mean, I had to sit through a mass where an Orthodox priest talked about how women should be submissive to their husbands and basically any other anti-feminist/anti-woman theory out there crawled out of his mouth(not during mass, but afterwards and it was more like he was voicing his opinion), I understand how that feels like. I think you should just shrug off anything someone says that goes against your belief system.

And this is a brick of text, I’m sorry.

It’s not creepy at all. :)

For a long time my elders have told me that God punished me, every time something bad happened to me. I can’t think of why he could do that. As much as I have lost faith in God, I always saw him the same way as you. That was also the God I believed to be true, but I guess the way a lot of masses at church made me think was that God was entirely different.

I also forgot to mention in my post that this priest made a rather sexist comment about girls always crying after being christened or baptised, and that they clearly made up for how much the boys didn’t make noises and for how quiet they were. I thought it was nasty – and I felt like the fact that he used the young ones as an example was only to lessen the blow of that rather incriminating comment. :|

Nevertheless, thank you for commenting. :) I love hearing the input of others, I know religion is a controversial topic and people do have their own beliefs but I was quite sure that this priest was wrong to some degree.

Okay, I wasn’t angry until I began reading the “insignificant” and “nothings” paragraph. In God’s eyes, His people are not “insigificant” and “nothings”. Everyone is impoprtant. It’s like in theatre – every character is important, no matter how big the role or how many lines. Everyone is important. I would have gotten up and left right then and there. Don’t let him bring you down. :(

I really liked your line “I struggled to hide my face behind my curtain of hair.” I write, and I really like how you worded that. ♥

I noticed this post was at 11:59 pm – one minute before midnight. That’s funny xD

I used to tutor people in my math classes. My peers would always come to me for help. Since I enjoy helping others AND math, I figured teaching math would fit perfectly. I’ve got to work up the courage to talk to my mom and enroll in school this week. Blahh. :( Going up there to the college is really nerve-wrecking. :/ It gets me all nervous and makes the “Okay, I can do this” go out of my head. D:

Thanks. :) I liked it. I looked for one that I had seen earlier this year on someone’s blog. :P They were talking about it, haha. I wanted a plain one, too. And, wah-lah! It’s one from the WP Themes directory.

Oh, maybe I should mention that I am a Christian – not Catholic. I don’t know how different they are from each other.

That was awful, especially since Jesus never said that we are ‘nothings’. He said that we need to be humble in front of the Father, to treat others like we want everyone to treat us, and not to be superb. But that’s different from saying we are nothings!

That priest must be a bigot to say that. :( I’m so sorry to hear he did make you feel so down, sweet Georgie… If I can give you a small advice, that’s to change Church. Look for another one, or a community Church, perhaps one that is frequented by many young people; if they have a chorus, even better: singing to God helps lift the spirit, and youth Christian songs are so joyful! :)

Seriously, Georgie: don’t let these bigots put your faith down. Because that’s what bigots do: they show a face of God that never existed; God is Love and Forgiving, while they make Him look like He’s a evil judge and we are nothing. That’s so far from truth.

*hugs so tightly*

– Luana S.

Wow. I actually really thought about your suggestion earlier. I didn’t once think of attending a different church. Perhaps the reason I feel far from God could be because of how much I hate my current one? :( I’m not sure. I just feel like my beliefs go very far and wide, so I don’t think I completely feel like I believe in God anymore. I’ve been feeling like this for close to a year now, maybe even more.

*hugs* Thank you so much for your support. :)

That’s the thing about preaching in Church. You must be willing give yourself up to the preacher and he/she can say what he/she wants and you cannot object to it (except inwardly). If I’d heard that, I’d feel just like you. I’d feel angry but wounded and also trapped because I can’t stand up for myself or just leave.

I go to a Christian school and am a agnostic-atheist and we have chapel services several times a week. Most of the time the services are bland and blatantly uninspired but every once in a while we get a complete dick who would feel it was his duty to slander everyone and everything in the half hour slot he is allowed. How much “holy, Christian” hate can we fit into one half hour in a Friday evening? 💥

I really hope one day, some one will FORCE them to listen to themselves. Because even with the whole freedom of speech thing, some ideas should just not be held, at least not publicly. If he believes that he is utterly worthless, then stepping away from the microphone and just dying in a hole wouldn’t be of much consequence, not to us, not to God. And a benefit to you.

Also did you talk to anyone else about the preaching after he spoke? I can’t believe everyone could just sit there and take it.

Yeah, getting stuff done ahead of time is usually more work than it is doing it on time for me, I don’t know why, but I still feel less stressed because it’s not just an assignment sitting there. It would bug me d: I’m Catholic too, I definitely for sure believe in God & I seek help from him when I need it & I thank him for mostly everything, but I rarely ever, almost never attend church. I feel like I don’t need someone to tell me what to believe, when I do already believe it myself. But it can be really inspirational & really helpful in staying faithful. But people do what makes them happy, especially when it comes to religion.

WHAT!? Are you kidding me!?
I don’t agree with that priest at all.
He clearly did not read the Bible. I mean, I haven’t either, but I’ve gone to religion classes, listened to parts of it, and read some of it too.

God has put us on this earth for a REASON. We are all here to do SOMETHING.
Jesus once demonstrated how we were equal to him by him washing the disciples’ feet.
Therefore, if we are equal to Jesus, our leader, then, we are obviously not “nothing” nor “insignificant.”

Of course, I’m saying all this with my belief of Christianity and Catholicism…and I respect anyone who has other views!

I’m so sorry, Georgina…that’s horrible that you went through that. :(
I’m furious. /angry

…And I’m always here if you want to talk. Just send me an e-mail. (Y) ♥
Everyone has those bad days…weeks…or longer. :-/
But we can all get through it with a friend. :D

It’s cool you collect rings! I used to want to collect things…but I never really did. I never liked anything. XD

I love rings, well jewelry in general. I wear 4 silver bracelets on my let arm, 3 friendship bracelets (from Currar) on my right and 1 ring on each hand. :)

I’m sorry that you had to listen to that priest preach like that. I’m not religious but even I find that insulting. No one should ever say something and I hope other people at your church complained. I would not stand to listen to someone talk like that.

I hope this week is a better week for you.

Currar and I spent yesterday, last night and today with one of his best friends. It was loads of fun. I love hanging with his friends, they treat me like one of the boys. :)

For some reason my blogging system is down. :( I don’t know why or when it will be back.

I’ve never doubted God. I just doubt some religious ideas. Some of them don’t even make sense to me, actually.

Some priests just overdo things sometimes. That seemed like a little bit much. If we all thought that way, we’d all be suicidal, knowing that our life was just worthless. I know we all have our imperfections. I know we all sin. I know that we shouldn’t look at ourselves too highly. But to call us all “nothings”? That’s just too much.

If Jesus came and died for us humans then we aren’t insignificant. He didn’t go through all that torture for nothing.
I totally believe in God. I’m mature in my faith, you could definitely call me a seasoned Christian and I can’t agree with what that priest said on any level.
He definitely crossed a line. He is a definite example of why people aren’t in church. It is because someone thinks they are holy. It might be him that is holy. The Bible itself says speak the truth in love. As one who is recovering from an unloving spirit I especially don’t see the love in his statements. He needs to get it together and read the Bible more.
It is sad the Christianity has been so distorted, not by politicians, not by people who don’t like Christians, but it has been distorted by Christians themselves. If you want to see true Christianity you could read the Gospel’s Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I find it is so amazing we Christians use the name Jesus when we witness but somehow the world still doesn’t know who he really is. We talk about the Gospel message so much we probably should stop and just read the book.
I hope you can shake this experience off and feel a lot better.

I figured why I was getting so behind on my schedule for the day (With school work, and chores and all). I’m getting up an hour later than last year and I had no motivation to get on the computer which would make me finish faster. :D