Pleasure and Pain
I thought this week would be better, but it’s not. I had really terrible cramps today, to the point where I couldn’t walk. This is the bad thing about living so far from university. You fall sick and there’s not exactly a nurse or a “sick bay” like they have in high school, and you can suffer on your way home or with luck, find a couch to sit on.
There’s this room of couches at university which is closed off for a few months or so while they refurbish the place. I liked sitting there with James, or even alone, just relaxing. Now there isn’t really any other nice, quiet place to sit, as huge as the university is.
When I come across a “bad day”, like today, how does it start? For most people maybe it would start with sleeping in and realising you’re late for school or work.
That isn’t how it works for me. I usually wake up on time, but because I take my time getting ready, I end up rushing myself.
I easily feel sick in the mornings. Sometimes it’s safer for me to skip breakfast, reason being that after I eat, I can’t move around very much otherwise I feel like I’m going to throw up. I can’t eat bread in the mornings either; it feels like a blob in my stomach and it just feels terrible. If I eat breakfast and then rush myself getting ready, I feel sick. :(
So… what really deems my day a bad one is when I don’t get a seat on the train. I know I should be used to it by now – catching trains in peak hour, so many people being on the trains – but it still annoys me when I don’t get a seat and have to stand.
Today I spent some time with James. I love spending time with him. :) Speaking of James, since some of you seem to still be visiting his blog that he hasn’t updated in over a year, I convinced him to start writing again, even if he only updates from time to time.
(I love how I influence my friends to blog. /um)
I had a nice time, but then I started developing a throbbing headache. I could feel it at the front of my head, and I was getting the worst stomach cramps (yes, it’s telling you what it’s telling you). I wanted to go home. Because you know what sucks? When you are very limited on female toiletries and it’s that time of the month, and your stomach is hurting so much that you can’t even walk.
On the day you chose to wear heeled boots.
Yes, my afternoon was that terrible. I did go home early and Sebby kept me company part of the way home.
Arriving home was not cool; I spent half an hour curled up in a foetal position on the carpet. I took a shower, which was refreshing. But what sucked was my mum bothering me throughout the afternoon. You see, I cleaned the house last week, and she was trying to look for things I had moved. I had moved so much stuff that I couldn’t remember what went where.
She was looking for shoes and a belt for hours, and when I helped her look, the shoes were at the front of the spare room in a plastic bag, and the belt rolled up – right there – on her dresser. I know, I forgive her; she’s probably as stressed out as I am. But she’s still pestering me.
Not to mention, university assignments call for my attention… and I haven’t done any work for my second job for a few days. I have to set up WordPress on the website and migrate all the work I’ve done. This is all too much for my poor head. I’m going to have such a bad week again, I’m not sure if it’s worth going to class, or… people are bothering me left, right and centre – here, there and everywhere.
This evening I even started crying because I missed James and he’d already gone to bed. 😢
You know the song Mine by Taylor Swift? It makes me cry all the fucking time, because it reminds me of James… and how lucky I am to have him. ♥️