I named my guitar Sparrow ‘Alex’ Alexander, and he’s been added to The Cavalry. He’s named after the mail client Sparrow, and my cousin Ricky Alexander. ♥️

I’m up at 2:30am and I figured it was time to write something, to at least stop my mind from wandering before going to sleep. I haven’t blogged for a whole week and to be honest, it feels strange. I missed it, but there wasn’t much to say. At the same time, I was dying to write something.

The other day, I wrote a poem in my little red notebook, which has been my diary/scrapbook for the past six months. I haven’t written a poem in so long – but it felt so good to write this, so good to get it out. It tells partially of my time in Indonesia – or really, what was going through my head. As usual, it’s mixed in with themes of love (what I write best about, eh?). I have to keep a scrapbook for one of my subjects that I’m studying this semester. They’ve called it a “visual diary” and we use it to record things that interest us, and throughout the semester, we work towards a final work of art. It’s not really a work of art – it has to follow visual design principles and have typographic elements, which makes it not exactly broad, but it’s not exactly specific either. In our diaries we can record or stick anything in. Candy wrappers. Notes. Sand. String. Leaves. Photos.


Okay, forgive me, I’m just tired at the moment. :( It’s really hard to configure (ahha configure? Am I a computer now?) my sleeping patterns to this thing called a “schedule”. My body has absolutely no sense of schedule right now, and it’s disgusting. I can’t think of a word that properly describes it, but this is a situation where the word “horrid” just doesn’t cut it. It’s disgusting. Maybe I still haven’t gotten over Indonesia yet. Maybe I’m just losing it, but I can’t be – because I’m well, other than having trouble with getting my sleeping straight.

It’s to the point where I need to be forced to go to sleep, maybe.

I went to bed at midnight the other day, but I wasn’t tired at all, and didn’t sleep until several hours later.

I started reducing my antidepressants. I felt great, and I felt like I was more alert, coping much better, so with guidance from my doctor, I started taking my dose once every two days instead of every day. It seems that each day I don’t take them… I end up sleeping super late, and don’t get tired. I bet I’ll be sleepy in the morning, and beyond irritated. I talked to Lilian earlier this evening and we agreed that maybe I should sleep with my curtain open so the sun welcomes me in the morning and helps wake me up. I don’t know why, but I can’t wake up at 6:00am anymore and it makes me sad. This past week I’ve been coming to work late, waking at 8:30, 9:30… and one day, even 10:30. What the hell.

Last Friday, I was supposed to have class from 6-8pm, buuuuut, the teacher didn’t turn up after 50 minutes so everyone went home. I’m irritated about that, because it was a waste of time, and the teacher hasn’t gotten in touch with the students in the class via email. Really not good at all. This means that somehow we’ll have to catch up on the work, which is bound to screw up the whole study plan. I guess I shouldn’t worry too much – it isn’t my fault the teacher didn’t turn up. /argh

Regardless, I’m still struggling with having work every day and then having class in the evenings. Honestly, how do people expect a social life out of university students when their schedules are packed? I freakin’ love my job and I hate popping in late. I hate taking days off work because the office is like my second home now.

Good thing I made a friend in one of my classes, by the way.

I’m always the freakin’ youngest.

Sometimes I wish I lived with James already so he could drag me to bed with him, because he loves sleeping early. We’ve been together for four and a half years now…! ♥️ Seems like just last week that people were wishing us a happy four years. Anyway… saying that about wishing he could help me sleep earlier shows how ignorant I am towards my sleeping patterns though. And I swear I’m not ignorant.

That said, I must motivate myself. I can’t rely on other people. It’s up to me to drag myself to this thing called a bed, shut my eyes, and dream of electric sheep.

Comments on this post

Maybe you just need a before-bedtime-routine. You could drink some tea that helps calm you down and makes you feel relaxed, or you could take a nice relaxing bath. :D If that dosent help, maybe a sleeping pill as a last resort.

I’ve had some trouble sleeping too, my brain just won’t stop thinking sometimes, so I start thinking about shit and before I know it, its 6am. But I just tell myself to shut up and go to bed, lol. Seems to work most of the time. :D

I’ve been trying to drink tea before bed lately – I think I’m actually managing to wake up early, so this probably isn’t so bad. I probably do need some sort of routine to ease me into bed. :)

Ughhhh I hate schedules. They’re disgusting, I can never get myself to adhere to anything fixed, much less establish perfect habits like students here as expected to. As a result I’ve settled with this odd college schedule, which obliges me to attend classes for only three days in a week, and the rest of the week I’m either at home or at work. Even with that I’m still bored or unmotivated most of the time. :( The only time I can drag my ass out of the door at the right moment is when I’m headed for work, and I guess the motivation there is that I’m earning something. Learning something ought to be sufficient motivation for me, too; sadly it isn’t. I am not the best college student haha.

It’s a good thing you’ve reduced your intake of meds! I must say congratulations. Think you might soon be able to go without them? :D

Aww, living with your boyfriend must be sweet! Since you’re of age I assume you would be allowed to? :)

Man you really oughta sleeg more :3
to help you get Back on Track! /wuwzo ;3
I like schedules; I just seldom plan for more than a few days ahead. :B It helps to keep things close and relevant, like just for today/the next day. And then plan again. Ho

Ho u, probably coming down from wuggsdrugs


Heya :) Haven’t commented on here in so long! I read your blog about your Indonesia trip – you sound like you had a blast! It’s a shame I left the day you came! haha

Sleeping patterns can be a PAIN IN THE ASS. My sleeping patterns are beyond terrible, but they’ve been like this for so long so it would appear my body is now used to it.

One thing you could try doing is staying up for about 40 hours… Then sleep around 9pm (or whatever used to be a “good” sleeping time for you) – you should fall asleep straight away since you’ll be exhausted, and then set an alarm (or five if you’re like me) to wake you up early in the morning. The day you spend being awake for 40 hours will be a bad day, since you’ll be exhausted, so make sure you don’t do too much that day, and definitely try do it on a weekend where you don’t have to go to work or to college.

Hey, long time no see! :D

Haha yes, my sleeping patterns are quite a mess as well. They get really strange during the summer. But at least during this time I don’t actually have to be anywhere.

You can try doing what Aashni suggested above. I’ve done it before, it really works :)

LOL…I can see some celebrity naming their child Sparrow Alexander. As for having a social life in college with a job, I honestly don’t think that it is possible. My advisor at community college once told me that you should devote at least 2 additional hours per credit – which means if you are taking a full course load (15 credits where I live) then you are spending 45 hours per week on school alone. :P Then with a full-time job (40 hours) – you don’t have time for much else. But with today’s economy…you almost have to do both. :(

Even i don’t have any sleeping schedule xD I sleep if i feel sleepy or i want to sleep xD the name of your guitar is so cute! :D

I have had bloggers block myself. I hadn’t blogged in over a week, but I was also in Tasmania, but now I am home … Feels odd.

My sleeping schedule is out of wack now the Olympics are on. I am obsessed!!!!

I get that too – I didn’t sleep until 5am this morning, even though I went to bed at around 11. It’s horrible, plus the whole house was boiling, and I had a load of itchy allergies.

You’re lucky that you can even think of motivating yourself – That just DOESN’T happen with me, as much as I wish it did – Self-Motivation is just a no no in my world.

It sounds funny when you say ‘A whole week’ – I used to go whole months without blogging, but since I opened up my blog now I’ve been blogging really frequently – well, frequently by my standards anyway.

I always find that a loud phone alarm usually works when I need to wake up early – My blackberry uses one of those annoying loud generic alarm tones, ‘Antelope’ I think, and it ALWAYS, and I mean always wakes me up! Good luck with getting up early!

I’m pretty bad when it comes to a sleep schedule. I’ve failed many times now at trying to sleep at a consistent earlier time. I run into the same issue, where even if I go to bed earlier, I don’t fall asleep for hours. I like it when the sunlight comes into my room in the morning though. It really does help in getting up! I hope you figure out something that will help with your sleep schedule :)

I’d be annoyed, too, if I went to a class where a prof didn’t show up without telling you. It really is a waste of time, especially waiting that long.

Even though my husband goes to bed and wakes up earlier than me… it still doesn’t help me sleep or wake up earlier XD;;

Sleeping patterns exist? =o
Meh I know how you feel. My sleeping schedule has just been down right crazy now that I havent been in school for almost a year and I have no job. When you have nothing to actually wake up for in the mornings, it’s hard to wake up at all x.x

I love how you named your guitar =3 It’s so kawaii!

The last semester I went to school I had to keep a similar diary and either write or draw something inside of it. I guess the one thing I hated about being an art student was being told what to do. I should probably switch majors but I have no idea on what I’d want to do xD

Anyways I hope your sleeping patterns get better! I know how frustrating it is to have to be up at certain times but you can barely sleep at night.

I find it hard to stick to a schedule too. Well, only in the summer when you’re off college, otherwise i’m up early. But, however, because I’m staying up later and waking up later, doing nothing in the day I can’t help but feel lethargic all of the time. 🤮