Indecisively, me

For those who haven’t caught up yet, I’ve opened my photoblog at Feel free to visit and leave a comment. πŸ™‚

I’m really angry right now. In my last post I outlined my problem with my phone credit. After recharging my phone credit, it has bloody fluctuated non-stop. I didn’t use any phone credit and it went down to $13, then to $2, then next time I checked it was $13, and then earlier today it was $2, then I just checked now and it’s some $12.60.

I am outraged. 😑 Now there is seriously something wrong with my phone company, because this has never happened before. Never. I’ve had my phone number and been with the same company for eight, nine years… never had this problem.

I hope it’s a glitch. I hope it’s a glitch. Nothing else would explain why my credit keeps jumping from two to twelve dollars over and over. 😑

This has caused me so much trouble for the past 48 hours. I cannot sleep without getting angry about this. I cannot stop thinking about it.

It has even made my parents fight and argue. Over something this stupid. Whatever the outcome – whether I did something wrong or whether the company had serious problems – I just want it to end right now. I’m fine with admitting I did something wrong, but that does not explain why my credit is going up and down non-stop. 😐

Sigh… today my dad and I went to church. I hate it so much that my younger brother gets out of it, just because he’s moody and has “work” to do. Yeah right; he plays games right until the last minute. It’s just not fair that he doesn’t go. 😀

My mum didn’t make an effort to make him go. 😞 I talked to my dad about it, upset. He asked why I didn’t like going… and I kind of spilled the beans that I didn’t really have much faith in God anymore.

He said, “Well… I won’t force you then.”

I guess he kind of forgot about it later. Lately I’ve been so distant from God and I don’t feel like he’s helped me much these many years, and that’s why I don’t feel it. I don’t feel the faith because of that.

It has left me feeling a little upset. Now I feel like I shouldn’t have said anything, because I feel like it was bad. It was a “sin”. To say it out loud. πŸ˜“ And now I feel sort of bad. 😒

Being a Catholic since I was born, I can’t imagine just stopping. It’s hard to figure out my feelings now. I feel like it would be so weird to step away from my religion. I’m open with religion now – I respect other people’s beliefs and so on.

I don’t really feel like talking about that anymore. I just needed to get things out. I’ve felt so angry and sad the past few days. 😞

I’ll facilitate discussion and hopefully you can all tell me a random fact about yourself and your family. πŸ™‚

… I need a hug.

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