It’s so true. Change it’s part of life, a part which everything and everyone goes through, whether they want to or not. I’m a different person from 2 years ago. Even from the ‘me’ from a year ago, as I realized when I was looking through some old chat logs.

But I don’t think it’s something to be sad or angry about it. As it has been stated before, it’s part of life, it’s natural. And instead of people getting angry or complain about it, they should try to accept it and be supportive. That’s just my opinion.

Oh yes, that was a most turbulent time. Ahh how overly dramatic it was. Seriously. Those high school dramas people always laugh about? We lived that! ha ha ha

and the Scandal. D=

Good to look back on old dusty memories sometimes /eee
Not to dwell on them, but to reflect and learn about them :)

We are all different now. If people never changed that’d be terrible D: and it’s not like a drastic fundamental change like joining a crazy cult or turning into a complete ass. It’s just a change in Youtube videos. What’s the big deal? Losers. Hlalng
(Y)

I had to write an essay about Transcendentalism and change. XD Your post just reminded me of that.

In some ways, change is good. Two years ago, I was an immature brat. I also dressed very strangely and uniquely. I dress…normal now, but two years ago, I wore bright colors and mismatched outfits. I even wore those ’80s stirrup pants, and big jackets. I didn’t care what others thought of how I looked. I liked my image. I even wore some makeup back then, but not too much.
Now I’m more mature and I don’t wear a single smudge of makeup anymore. My fashion sense is different. The only that hasn’t changed about me is that fact that I love chickens. :D

I have my nostalgic moments. The past is the past, but I can’t help but think about it often. I want to look forward to the future.

I noticed the change and comebacks in trends. My mom says skinny jeans and converses were in style back when she was my age … just the thought makes me wanna wear something else lol. But OMG I hate retro SO DAMN MUCH. This girl group I sort of like turned retro for their new single … not that they didn’t cry when they found out. The song is okay though.

Awww *hugs* I think it’s okay some people have gone through a bad time. It helps us learn. That’s why I’m proud of who I am now. I actually don’t have my old stuff, when I graduated high school I got my friends to help me throw away everything … new start. ;) However some people never change, not even physically and I just think that’s so … well they obviously have no new insight either. It’s good to change. ♥

I’m okay now thankss, the weather has been warming up for the past week, the snow is melting! I work in the city, there’s like no snow there because the elevation is lower and it’s warmer or something. I’m looking forward to nicer weather … serious lack of sun this winter.

I just saw your new layout on indecisivelyme! It’s absolutely gorgeous. I LOVE gray, pink, blue, anything pale. So beautiful however you work with them unless you clash complimentary colors or something. Although I do think I need to spice up my layout with some more color. Like your layout here is gray but you have coral colored links! I need to make my blue links more visible.

YES THE HEART DID COME UP OMG! Next time I’ll be sure to use the HTML if I comment on someone who’s using ickyUpdate!

Aw that sucks… :( I’m sorry, this is why I hate carpets so much. Yes they mute sounds … but sometimes for a bad cause. Keep me updated on Ben though … not the person Ben. :P I recently lost my USB but WHEW someone was nice enough to give it back to me.

I agree with you with the new retro trend going on. I find it a lot now, and though I love the way it looks, I feel as though I can’t pull it off. XD But I love those people who don’t care about what they wear. They are the real trend setters. /cool

Hahah ahh! Michelle Phan! She’s amazing – though i don’t really wear that much makeup. But hey, even though you don’t like wearing makeup, maybe one day you’ll need to wear some or want to wear some, and you’ll know how to do it :D

Aww, her quote about the butterfly and changing, truly a really good point. Everyone changes, but hey, everyone’s growing up. I guess it depends though, some people change for the worse, and some change for the better. I believe she’s changing for the better :D

Ah, I hate reading though my old diaries and such. Not that I enjoy reading about the fun times, but reading about the bad, or just reading about old friends who’ve gone downhill. It’s kind of depressing. And oh gosh, you have a LOT of books. Like no joke XD You can’t even see your floor! XD Hopefully they are all organized now! You seem like a stronger person now :D ✌️

That’s good that you weren’t near the cyclone! Ohh, that’s good that it wasn’t as terrible as predicted. Those forecasts really get people worried.

LOL Oh my gosh! To me, 10 degrees Celsius is warm. At least at this time of the year for us. It hasn’t been that warm since, probably like October or November. I think it’s supposed to be near 50’s on like Tuesday or something. I use to wear shorts then – crazy. Summer in Australia probably does wear you out. It’s so hot! XD

Haha, after your post about ceiling fans, I’m happy I kind of don’t have one XDD You’re enlightened me XD My AC is separate from my heater. I have a heater thing like running along the bottom of one of my walls. My AC on the other hand is a little square at the top of my room. Ewww! Dust everywhere o.O That sounds like a pain.

Eeek! I haven’t gotten bad sun burn in a long time. At least for like 6 years. I’ve gotten like a flushed appearance on my cheeks, but it goes away in like a day or so, so I don’t know if that’s considered sun burn XD Yeah 15 minutes is good, soak up some vitamins XD

LOL sometimes i wish that at carnivals/fairs, the “everyone is a winner” games do not have to give out prizes. Sometimes i wish I can just play it for fun with my friends because that’s why I even play the games. I just like the activity with my friends. It’s funny!

Hahah exactly! Public transportation is good :D You help the environment! And you don’t drink, which is even better XD

Dancing is fun, but sometimes I feel self conscious, but I guess when you’re a dancer you have to get past that. /eee

LOLLL I kind of want Ramen now. Haha Ramen Girl is such an odd movie. It’s about this girl who follows her boyfriend to Japan, and they end up breaking up, so she’s heartbroken. She sees this Ramen places down the road and she goes there and she like bursts through the doors saying “I WANT TO COOK RAMEN.” It’s really weird because it’s some white girl who doesn’t speak Japanese. And the Japanese guys are like heck no and stuff. Kind of amusing XD

LOL I love to bring my own microwave popcorn to the movies. I think it’s an Asian thing. My friends wouldn’t do that, unless they were Asian that is. Us frugal people :D Oh wait, my other friend brought in Chinese food, and for the first half of the movie, I kept smelling it. It smelled so yummy! I went to the movies the other day, and I was craving movie theater popcorn so I just bought one bag, $5, a small. My friend went to Target and bought a medium sized bag, for $1. She kept rubbing it in my face XD Shame on me for my movie theater popcorn craving /argh

Wow… your words do have power. :) That’s why I like your blog.

I’ve been absolutely obsessed with notebooks since the moment I could hold a pencil, but I never actually kept a diary. I kept all of my “diary” type things on the computer, because yes, I bet I could type before I could write! xD My parents pretty much raised me to be a nerd. ;P

I am really good at creating a labyrinth of folders to get through to find me personal crap. /hehe

We all change at some point or another. No one can be the exact same person they were a few years ago. Maybe it’s a small change, or maybe it’s a big change.. but there’s always something. A LOT of people I know have changed A LOT lately, and it sucks. I’m really tired of people becoming totally different people, especially when the new version just isn’t as good as the old one was.

We can’t stop change though, and even when someone tries to.. they never really go back to being the same person, ever.

I look back on my old blogs all the time. I don’t really think my writing has changed that much, considering it’s only been a year but I do like looking back and reflecting on what I wrote, and remembering everything that happened. Sometimes it just makes me sad though, missing the old times.

*I started this comment like, two hours ago and got SO distracted from random things. I made a whole wallpaper. oops*

I did get my camera back! I was so happy, omg. It helped for awhile, as did hanging out with my friends and pigging out but for the most part, I still feel the same way.

I love Michelle Phan, even though I have little interest in makeup myself. Some of her videos are frightening, like her Sailor Moon video.

I think I once heard from an English teacher, “Never use a big word when a smaller one will suffice.” It makes you more clear. It’s the combination of words, that to me, are powerful.

Ha, I actually don’t know how long the dress is! :P I cut off the picture, ha.

I guess I really only split them because of the fact that an art blog doesn’t really relate to graphic design to much. xD

It’s kind of sad when friends you’ve known for a long time change, either for better or for worse. I just tell myself, “C’est la vie”, and try to ignore it. I’ve changed, too – drastically. I used to be a mean, lonely, depressed teen who wore only black shirts with skulls on them. Now I’m just a sarcastic, spazzy, and humorous teen. ;)

I need to organize my room badly. I should do it tomorrow after soccer training, but we’ll see. :P I actually found some of my old blogs and they make me cringe because they’re so…lame. They aren’t deep at all and just use a lot of smilies (more than I use now, haha). Bleh. But I’m still not too open on my blogs anyway. That’s just me, though. My diaries are all emo and whiny…or filled with stories I made up. The horror.

I absolutely agree. I used big words before, too, and I used it to impress my teachers. My dad always gave criticisms when I write essays, and he told me to “write to express, not to impress”. Until now, I still have that in my mind when I’m writing. Hehe.
I like your opinion about that change thingy. I think I went through several “phases” before LOL XD I was very different, too. There were years when I was really ugly, years when I looked pretty and skinny, years when I was “emo”, years when I was a “tween”, and so on. I think it surprises people. I understand that; it’s natural. :p But then, if you’re growing and maturing, you would discover a lot of things about yourself that would make you change. Although it’s a bit sad because people change, I think it’s kind of cool when people are brave enough to change. Ahaha, this comment got so long XD I have a lot to say because I’ve changed recently, and people had been reacting differently about it :3

I agree.. the trends are always changing. hahahaha.. But I love the trend now… especially the floral vintage prints on most of the clothings and lace styled dresses.. :D

Michelle Phan is the best when it comes to makeup tutorial.. I’ve been watching her videos before and I learned a LOT from her.. :) you should try watching xteener’s videos too… ;)

Egypt has been a huge party in the last couple of days, people everywhere are so happy he resigned, I haven’t seen people that happy and cheerful since the last time they won a football match. =| Hahaha
I recieved your comment on my LJ but I don’t think it adds people’s Twitter accounts. =/ It only says your name but I can’t actually find an account that I can add. But anyways I decided to keep it me-only, lol, I just feel more comfortable talking about anything and everything knowing that completely no-one will read it. 😳 Hhahah, I hope you understand though, it’s nothing personal. :)
I was actually scared to join these crowds, but when we arrived and experienced everything first-hand, it felt much safer and everything. I used to keep a diary when I was around 10 or 11 years old, until one day my sister found it and read it and all of my siblings began making fun of me because I wrote about my ‘crush’ back then and since then I don’t keep a book-diary thing. =/ I remember they told my parents about it and I felt SO embarrassed. Hahhaha

Oh, you have NO idea how much people are inspired by retro here in Egypt. Everywhere I go, they seem to be wearing high-waist pants, brogues (I’m beginning to get sick of them from how common they are -___-), oversized eye-glasses – you name it. At times they earn all my respect for looking original, and at other times they just seem to be trying so hard and the only statement they make is being too common and trying to blend in with everyone else.

I agree with ‘Michelle’, I personally, have changed SO much over the past two years. I didn’t choose to nor did I plan to, it just ‘happened’ I guess. And OH. MY. GOD. You have sooooo many books!! Hahahahah that’s really so many, and I love reading, I wouldn’t mind spending some time around your bookshelf. But it’s nice that you tidied up your bookshelf, it gives this sense of organization and some new energy to your room. /bounce I remember back in my old house, before we move, I used to do those annual ‘desk-cleanups’ and I used to repaint my desk and tidy it up, it was always tiring and exhausting and time-consuming, but so worth it in the end. That actually inspired me to post some pictures of it on my next blog post, tehehee.

I always wondered what I would do in years from now when I read my personal diaries and whatnot. You mentioned tearing them up because they were full of personal feelings and emotions, and you feel like a different person now from before. I think I’d keep them, haha, only because it’s interesting to see how I changed over the years. 🙄

I’m randomly popping in but I really really admire your writing style. It’s really beautiful :) I know how you feel when you’ve known someone for a long time and then they change drastically sometimes for then better but others for the worse. Sometimes I feel like I’ve grownup in the past two years but I feel like different then my younger self. Even though alot of things happened between friends I became stronger because of it. Anyways, I’m patches and I really like your site :) and I hope I can visit again and read your blog more really you have a excellent site and I wish you well in all that you do.

I hate it when people get mad at others, making excuses like, “You’ve changed.” or, “You’re not acting like yourself.” because, honestly, what’s wrong with change, and wouldn’t you know yourself more than they do?

Anyway, what kind of boring person never changes? There’s no excitement in life without change. I wouldn’t wanna go through my entire life as if it was just some kind of routine.

I hated the way I wrote things in my old diaries, but, of course, I was still a kid back then. I looked at things so much differently than I look at them now.

Ha ha, good! :) REMEMBER! Eliza!

I know, right? But I wasn’t alone, my mom was a few feet behind me, and I was just outside of somebody’s house. :) That made me feel better.

Thanks! /hehe That’s a good idea! :D I might do that!

hello! :D Yeah, it’s true we do change all the time. Sometimes I look back at stuff that I did or didn’t do and boy would I do something else! It can be either good or bad, depending on what the change is. :) I agree with you, that some people are brave to do stuff differently, and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. But personally, I don’t like how it looks when girls wear those high waists shorts super duper high. It’s just me though, and I’m a guy so it’s not like I’d start wearing that, but I’m totally fine with them wearing it if they like it. :P Yeah when “famous” people change, there will always be people complaining that they don’t like the change and that it was better before. Just like on social networking sites, when they change parts of the site and make it better (or worse something) there’s always alot of people complaining, because they were so used to their way of browsing the sites before. The other day I was cleaning my drawers, yeah they are packed with stuff! And I found an old journal I wrote when I was on a trip to south carolina with my parents. I was really really young, I made plenty of mistakes and my handwriting was GIANT, but it was still funny to read. There was obviously nothing personal, as I was only saying what I had done during the day, but some parts were really funny. I promised myself to keep that forever because it’s such an amazing memory! xx

I like the kind of trends that never die out, lol. We all change as time pass, but it’s good to know that some things always stay the same.

Michelle Phan isn’t exactly my favourite makeup-guru, but I like her DIY-skincare videos.

Awww Georgie, I’m sure you’ll get your phone back! It may take a while, but I’m sure you’ll get it back and I to am hoping that it’s not in some other state. Ya know? (Heehee I told some of my friends about you including Andrew and don’t worry all was good).

Happy Valentines Day to you too! I know it’s Monday already in Australia, but I just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentines Day since you wished me one! I’m not in the slightest bit nervous! I’m more stoked as is PookieBear, so I don’t think we’re gonna have any nervous thoughts or anything like that. Maybe the first part, like shaking hands, but maybe not even at that ya know? We’re just simply going to go to Pharaoe’s, and play mini golf (ahaha yeah when I get frustrated I do the same or I just say screw it pick the ball up and fling it). Whatever works right? ahaha…I don’t think they monitor us here either, but if they did I don’t think they care cause I think they get a good laugh at it. Ya know?

Awww, I always wondered why James called you wuggs. Haha. But now I know. (Well; not the whole story) But it’s still a cute nickname! Heehee, he calls me my baby (his baby). And told me that only I’m allowed to call him Pookiebear. He also has a website which stupid me I forgot to bookmark and I need to ask for it again, but when I saw the nicknames, I was like I have another nickname you can add on to those nickname’s and he’s like what’s that baby? I said “Pookie” and than two days later I started calling him pookiebear! =D.But yeah, he has depression, and he ran out of his pill like a few days ago, and is trying to get some again, but he said I’m his pill. He said I make him feel better about himself, and that he doesn’t really need the medication. Ya know?

We were talking yesterday, after he got out of his class, that we’d could carpool to school and such and take the same G.Ed courses and what not heehee. I literally flushed. And I asked him don’t you think we’d get tired of each other though? He goes nah! Than he said we’ll sit next to each other and I can ask you for the answer on the test, lol I know he was kidding, but we poked fun about it. But yeah Pookiebear is my healer too.I mean my heart was hurting, and I asked my best friend what do you think it could be and she said it might be Heart Palpiltation (I know I spelled that wrong) cause she has the same thing. So when I was talking to Pookiebear, it was kinda hard to at first but just hearing him talking just seemed to make it go away. And he said “Baby your breathing sounds better! Are you doing okay?” And I answered him and told him”Yeah it’s because you’ve helped me, and hearing you just made it better” and he goes “Awww, Awesome!”. Heehee.

I told him I had got the crafts I was going to get and make him something, and he’s going to give me something in return, and I told him you don’t have too, and he’s like but I want too! My baby deserves it! I was like awww. Heehee. I also picked up some green butterfly hair clips (cause I know his favorite color is green and it’ll match my top (maybe not the zebra print sweater but eh). So yeah, I worked on the card last night, and it turned out very good. I was so impressed with myself that even I love it. Heehee. But oooh, that’s a good idea to give him something to open every day! That’s cool!! Where they like little pick me ups or something like that?

Hmmm, I love Michelle Phan, I don’t really watch her videos anymore, but they’re still fun to every now and than ya know? She’s just a sweet person, and she doesn’t deserve all these negative comments she’s getting. I mean people are just downright rude on youtube.com ya know? It’s like the same with Adam Lambert’s videos girls are complaining that he’s too sexy to be gay and I go good lord girls get a grip, he’s been openly gay since he started American Idol, and it’s not like you’re gonna get in his pants anyway! lol I never heard any more comments about that. Lol. Eh.

I bet you’re pretty excited to see Lillian again, after so long of not seeing each other! And I’ll bet you’ll be even more excited to see James at the airport! Open arms-hugs and all! Haha. We’re definitely going to take pictures of our Valentines night/date. We’re also going back to his dad’s place, watch some movies/t.v. shows, and eat some pizza and drink a few drinks. Heehee. I know bad Jamie, but eh. I can drink every now and than. I’m not really much into drinking, but I do occasionally drink. You know what I mean? But it’s gonna be so much fun!!! Yeah, I can’t wait! Heehee!

Yeah, Dear Jamie signed sincerely me, really got me, and I was like O_O; there’s a song with my name in it!! I’ve always wanted a song with my name in it!! Jamie is like a really popular name! Haha. But he surprised me with it on fb one morning and I literally teared when I saw it. I was like *sniff*. I in return put a country song from Marlee Scott called “Here To Heaven”, and he loved it. Heehee’. Today he’s going to Chino, and him and his dad are going to visit his dad’s wife and his mom(same person) do some laundry, and than do a pre-valentines night dinner. I told him since you’re going to be with family, you don’t have to call me. He said aww thank you baby! And than said I’ll shoot you a text! I said you don’t even have to do that! Spending time with family is more important. And he goes aww, thank you baby for understanding. I said you’re welcome. And we had to go, cause he had to finish up cleaning and what not. So yeah. I’m so excited about tomorrow!! I really am! It’s my first time EVER celebrating Valentines Day, and well; his too. But yeah, I’ll definitely post what happens on our date later on that night or the next day. And when he gives me the pictures and what not. Okay Georgie, I’m kinda getting tired again, so I just wanted to return your comment! Thank you for being a great/best friend and supportive all the way through! I do hope you get your phone back!!

I laugh every time facebook changes something and people complain about it. I mean, really, everyone hated the news feed and now the news feed IS facebook.

I don’t know why people are so resistant to change. I like change. I’m always trying to be the best Lissy I can be: more confident, more creative, more fit, more healthy, more fun, more responsible.
I’m also always trying to improve my writing, but that’s a slow process. I can see the difference from entries from around ten years ago.
My handwriting gets worse every year, that’s certainly not a good change.

I do complain sometimes, about when we change processes at work or they move stuff around in the supermarket, but a part of me is always secretly excited.

Oh my goodness you totally hit it right on.
Change happens and is just a part of life. It is apart of nature. Change will always take place. And there are always things building up that will cause some kind of change.
The problem might come when we change so much and are still acting on old defaults that we don’t need or want anymore.
That is why I think it is good to empty something like a bookshelf (I recently re-did my whole room). It is good to look back, clean up and thus catch up.

Argh I hate those high waisted shorts, girls with the wrong body types are always wearing them and I don’t want to see bare bottoms while shopping for food. I found my old highschool diaries and I can’t bare to read them, the person who wrote in it was so different to the person I had become. I think you change a lot after you leave school, there’s so much more responsibility and you become much more mature. And you’re so cute, you don’t need the make up ;)

There`s nothing wrong with change at all :P! Change happens in the world and to ourselves no matter what :P! Sometimes, we change for the best or for the unseen worse :P! I know I changed from wearing whatever clothes to Hollister (only) clothes because I`m comfortable with it. No one really influenced me besides my cousin picking at me for it :P! But I don`t mind, so theres nothing bad about it :P!

All I know is for sure. I don`t wear beauty enhancers (make up) and I never did before D’:! I won`t deny that I will never wear it in my life, because eventually, I`ll become curious to try it out :P! Michelle Phan is a genius at these make up products! I have seen some of her videos a couple of years ago :P! It is nice :D!

I hate it how if one person changes one little thing (lets say a celebrity), everyone freaks out about it. It`s like. Big deal, everyone changes. Get over it. :P. Unless the person becomes a druggie or something :/. Then thats an issue that needs to be stated!

You have.. A lot of books! I am jealous that you can read books massively :P! I`m always sidetracked and can`t find time to read books D’:! I always change my room around at least once a year. Change needs to happen! Cause the longer its kept, I get bored. :P

You changed, for the good :)! I know for sure, when I was younger, I was a lonerish. Because I wanted to have a lot of best friends like some people from school, but I only managed to have one at a time. I hate that D; Now I am socialable and I have at least 5 close friends :P! And I don`t want to be best friends with everyone. I don`t really care as much because I am preoccupied :P!

I try to learn some long words. A lot of them long words. But some people don`t even understand what I am saying. Sometimes, I don`t even understand what I am saying. So I just make my words simple, clearish, and shortish :P!

Change is inevitable! I like to think that usually people change for the better so it is not something to be sad about, but that’s not always the case. Besides, you will still have memories and physical evidence of who you used to be and you will not stay the way you are now for the rest of your life. I was definitely different two years ago and I like the person I am now better than my old self.

Your accent is awesome! :D Sorry, I really like Australian accents. They are enjoyable. It’s awesome that you reorganized your bookshelf; the bookshelf in my house could use a bit of work. You certainly have a lot of books!

I bet it was pretty interesting to read through your old diaries and blogs. I think it’s our job as teenagers to exaggerate. ;D It seems like you have changed for the better as well if you are stronger and you know yourself now. I remember reading a couple of your blogs a while ago (not two years, but still) and they were great. Of course, your blogs now are still amazing and full of feeling! I think you still use some pretty impressive words. ^^

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Thank you very much, Georgina! Ah, I know what you mean. I have so many unused journals in my cabinet. That’s good! You should put what you write online. c:

Change is a part of life. I don’t see why people should be opposed to it. Yeah, it can be a very scary thing to deal with. However, there is nothing we can do to prevent it from happening. Personally, I love change. I think it’s a wonderful part of life. Its surprising and saddening to see that others don’t think so as well and fear it. Horrible.

I just don’t understand some fashions today. Really, some of it just looks absolutely horrid. Especially on people that shouldn’t be wearing certain fashions. Everyone is entitled to dress however they please, though, and if their style of dress is pleasing to them then I can’t really argue. Even if it looks disgusting.

As a good friend told me ‘it’s life, you have to do what makes you happy’, that’s what he told me when I figured out I’m ready to have a good time in life – to change my ways a little.

Changing and growing is a part of life, everyone does go through it. We find out who we are and find out who we can trust. I’ve been going through a small period of change, just getting rid of so many things that were holding me back and I’m ready to move on with my life.

I can’t go back through my old things and ready any of it, it always makes me feel so stupid for some reason. The theme of what I write about hasn’t changed, and my style hasn’t changed either.

i really liked this blog post! (: it’s so true; we grow up, we do mistakes, we learn, we accept ourself, we experience new things, and we change! that’s a natural thing, and just as you said with your books, we learn how we can do things better and more effective than we’ve done before. we expand the horizon (:

change may be good sometimes, i remember myself a few years ago, and i’m more than happy i’ve changed, i don’t know how i would’ve felt if i had to stay the same for the rest of my life.

i look up to those who ooze confidence and don’t give a damn, they dress how they want and they don’t care about what other thinks as long as they feel good about themself (:

I guess it WILL take some time for things to go back to normal here in Egypt, but I personally don’t think it will take long. I’ve seen people in every street cleaning up and repainting the buildings that were put on fire, and it’s really inspiring, I even thought of gathering with my friends and doing the same for my own country’s sake. And the price? The satisfaction of knowing I helped keeping my country clean. ;)

Hahaha, SEEE?? Brothers and sisters can be snitches, but ah well, we’ll just have to live with them. :P Hahaha I could’ve swum in those books too! Hahah there are just sooo many. =O

Ohh okay, my bad, ahahah. *Re-reads your blog to check the ‘tear’ part*. HHAAHAHAH sorry, sorry, okay now I realized I was reading quickly and now I understand what you mean, which was in ‘crying’, not literally tearing up the diaries. :P