I do not endorse the microskirt

I’ll be honest, I’m pretty vain. I look at myself in the mirror quite a lot. I take photos of myself and share them. I always like to tell people when I think my outfit looks great. I don’t have stick-thin legs, but I have a figure that lets me pull off a miniskirt.

Side note: I finished my goal of not wearing a skirt or dress for a month. :D I can’t tell you how happy I was to wear a skirt again today. /eee Oh, how I dislike pants.

I know that not everyone looks good in short skirts and short shorts, and I think that if you don’t look great in it, it’s not for you. About a year ago I saw a teenage girl in the games arcade wearing extremely short shorts and a crop top.

Big no-no.

If there’s one rule I do like to go by, it’s that you should only reveal so much skin; it’s a simple rule that it’s either the legs, arms, back or cleavage - revealing more than one of those assets at once is pushing it, and is considered revealing too much. Of course we can’t all obey that rule, especially in summer when a singlet top and a miniskirt are in order, but most of the time it’s necessary to be conservative.

I’ve never liked crop tops. The short tops that many girls seem to wear these days seem to be a ridiculous fashion trend, in my opinion. I used to wear basic crop tops as undershirts when I was younger. This is just showing too much skin. Sure, the girl looks great, but this looks like something you’d perhaps wear to the beach. Not to a games arcade. I didn’t think showing that much skin was appropriate for the setting.

Even if you look good scantily clad, doesn’t mean you do it, because it may not be appropriate for where you’re going.

I really like miniskirts. I have quite a few, and I actually like miniskirts so much that when I find something that is long enough to reach my knees, I immediately think, “Not short enough.” I’ve lived in skirts for as long as I can remember. I’m not saying the maxi skirt and long skirts are ridiculous, but because I’m short, they look unflattering on me. I’ve always looked good in miniskirts and that’s something I feel not only safe (safe as in not committing a fashion faux pas, not “safe” as in safe from zombies) in, but comfortable in as well.

Note: It’s a _mini_skirt. Back in the 1960s, model Jean Shrimpton wore a shift dress to the Victoria Derby and it caused a furore. It shocked people; she was described as being “practically naked”. It was just a sleeveless dress. In this day and age it would be extremely modest and conservative, but fifty years ago, we had just hopped out of an era of corsets, long dresses and demure hats. An era I wouldn’t mind living in, but regardless, as time goes on there are developing trends and developing non-trends, otherwise known as Disastrous Horrific Zombie-Inducing Fashion No-Nos.

Come on, Jean Shrimpton was gorgeous, she could pull off that dress. So she was showing a little too much skin for the time, but I’m willing to bet that if she wasn’t the only one wearing a short dress, it wouldn’t have been such a shock. Someone has to start these trends some time. Jean Shrimpton’s dress reached her knees. That’s barely classified ‘mini’. Yet we have ridiculous people now wearing microskirts, about half the length of a miniskirt.

The girl in the following picture is no doubt attractive, but her skirt is ridiculously short. She’s not going to be able to walk with even the slightest breeze assisting her in flashing her underpants.

Microskirts can be cool. But please wear tights, leggings or bloomers under them.

Which brings me back to short shorts, much like the ones the girl at the games arcade was wearing. Since when was it cool to wear cutoffs, Daisy Dukes, or short shorts that just look like underwear? It’s not attractive. I don’t know who even designed shorts so short. It’s as if they had no choice but to cut more material from a pair of pants to successfully look like a pair of underpants. I’m pretty sure someone had in their mind that they were going to win the Nobel Prize for Most Revealing and Trashy Pair of Denim Shorts That Looks Most Like Women’s Underwear. Congratulations, whoever you were.

“Oh, the microskirt is short enough, but here’s a solution for people who want to cover up their underpants! Let’s just add a square piece of material in the middle and connect the two!”

Do not get me started on these.

What the hell. Dude, why don’t you just wear your Sesame Street diapers out? Tuck your blouse into them for a more tailored look and team with a pair of bright coloured wedges to match your outfit. You are not an acrobat. You are not a gymnast. You are not a dancer, so stop wearing shit that looks like half a swimming costume. Who the hell invented knicker shorts? They look like the kind of underpants you’d wear when you have your period on a heavy flow.

My public service announcement of the day: Trends are stupid.