Hey 2026!

I felt moderately reluctant to even type the exclamation point at the end of the title of this post, given my general mood, attitude, and recent decline in mental health… but if anything is going to follow tradition at the beginning of my years, it’ll be that. 🫰🏻

I extend so much love back to everyone who supported me since I shared my last blog post. I shared my post on my social media too, and had so many people reach out to me with sympathy because I had hidden what I was going through for such a long time.

Y’all know I am not a big fan of goals, but I like to write about intentions and broader themes for the year, even if they end up being completely flipped by the time the year ends. Let me revisit a couple of things I mentioned last year, because some of them relate to what I intend to do this year.

🧶 Craft

I said I wanted to do more crafty things. I did indeed do more crafty things, completing a handful of paint-by-numbers kits, four latch-hook cushions, nine latch-hook rugs, and two coasters. All of those kits, bar the paint-by-numbers kits, were from Craft Club, a local business based in Sydney. I also got the very lovely opportunity to help the company put together their sample products, and film raw footage of me creating a cushion and a rug. It was a dream come true to be able to get a little extra cash for something I thoroughly enjoy doing, that also calms my chaos brain. 🥹 I am sure there will be more opportunities for that this year.

I didn’t end up creating jewellery like I’d planned. The only thing that was came close was doing a little free workshop at a market, where my friend Sha and I made a few earrings with reclaimed beads and pieces sourced from beach cleans (thanks to Erin at Trash Fish 🐟). I also bought myself a pair of pliers to adjust and mend a few pieces of jewellery I already owned.

I’ve recently done a painting from scratch, although that was this year and not 2025. I have purchased an art pad to continue using my spare/leftover paint to challenge myself to paint things. I don’t have a specific focus, but I think it will be actual locations, buildings, or landscapes. The painting I did was of my apartment block, which unfortunately I am a little reluctant to share, lest I dox myself. 😅

✍️ Writing

I rediscovered my love for writing towards the end of the year, when I found myself writing poetry again, using my pain and struggles and inspiration for some new pieces of work. Apart from a couple of greeting or birthday cards for friends, I had actually not written poetry since 2020, since writing my poetry collection the off switch is broken. That collection had a focus on the tech industry and the internet, and had a deliberate theme that I found somewhat challenging. I realised that I had written absolutely nothing post-breakup to help me reflect on my emotions—no blog posts, no journalling—and that perhaps all this stuff trapped in my head that only came out in counselling sessions, or when I opened up to my friends, really needed to be written out. It has been so, so long since I have written poetry about feelings, and that was something I loved since I was young.

It is thanks to my friend Kat that we connected over our love for writing and decided to commit to a poetry open mic to share our work. 🤩 It was a great experience and I read a couple of older pieces and one new piece. Despite usually being one to share all my writing, and performing at an open mic night, I have been unafraid to write my stronger and angrier emotions in the form of poetry. I now know that I have a choice between expressing my emotions by reading my work to an audience, or keep certain pieces of work private.

Getting back into poetry and taking my short trip to Adelaide energised me to write about that trip, and then continue writing my travel blog posts where I’d left off in March 2025. I am so glad I got a string of blog posts out before the year ended. 💕 It had been a hard year overall. I hope that this year I will write a little more regularly than I did last year.

💪🏻 Fitness

As I have enjoyed doing a powerlifting competition every year for the past three years (did really well last year!), I am certain I’ll do one again, although I am not sure when. I am interested in doing the City2Surf this year—I had wanted to do it in previous years, but it always came close to a holiday or a powerlifting competition. 😆 I guess I will have to time wisely. Many people see it as a fun run, and some people dress up in costume, but I want to take it a bit seriously and at least jog a majority of the distance. The goal is not to win or beat anyone or any time. I hate running, so just completing it is going to be a challenge. I also, err, need to buy running shoes. I haven’t owned those in a long time.

🫀 2026 so far

This year has gotten off to a bad start. My mental health has been very poor, and I decided to take over a week off work. It’s looking like it will be two weeks, at this rate, because of how unrelaxed I feel after just a few days. I have been anxious and nervous for tomorrow—but every day. I almost dread every day ending. I have symptoms of depression: feeling like there’s nothing to look forward to, very low lows, loss of interest in things I usually love, and feeling like it is better to stay in bed or not go outside. This breaks me. I recall being depressed twenty years ago and at the time I was suicidal, thinking everything was so awful that I wanted to unalive myself. As an adult, I feel like what I am dealing with isn’t as significantly painful, but it feels painful. It hurts excruciatingly bad. It’s like it’s worse when you are older and wiser. The feeling of not being able to get out of bed cuts so deep, because I didn’t think I would ever find myself in that situation.

I don’t take the bad start as a setback for the year. I know I also have this anxious energy about the idea of “tomorrow” but at the same time, I know that every day is a new day and a new opportunity, and there can be brighter days ahead, even though I cannot see it and I have to move through all the pain. When I am ready, I will know. That time just isn’t here yet. 🌱

If you are on Instagram, I am doing something creative and making reels (short videos) on my days during my mental health break. Follow me there. It is also something I’ll be writing about in more detail on my blog, especially from a heartfelt and honest thoughts perspective. 🫶🏻

My priority right now is rest. It’s listening to my body. It’s giving myself space to be creative. It’s giving myself space to try some new things. It’s giving myself permission to be gentle. To breathe. To, once again, rest. To put me first.