I’ve been listening to Deeper Water by Bayonets For Legs recently. Bayonets For Legs is an Australian indie band. I really like indie bands, and I really like a lot of Australian bands. The sad thing is that their great music isn’t often recognised on a global scale, and somehow I feel like they should be bigger – a heck of a lot bigger. Bands like Powderfinger and You Am I definitely got out there, but if I were to visit another well-populated country, chances are they wouldn’t have heard of these two legendary Australian bands. I’ll say AC/DC, oh, and people get me. But these indie bands are hardly known. People often say that they hope their favourite bands don’t go famous and let fame get to their head. If I were them, I’d be proud, but I guess not as arrogant as some musicians out there. But you know, I’ll still be that silent fan who remembers the days they played in clubs on quiet nights and remembering that I knew them, I knew them way back when.
One of the lines in Deeper Water is “the water’s deeper when you’re alone”. This really made me think about my phobia of being alone. Water being deep isn’t really a thing to favour; it’s probably a bit daunting and even scary for some people. I thought about all the times I’ve been alone… and I realise, it’s not being alone that I’m scared of. I like being alone at home and sometimes on the train, I like my own company – but when I’m alone, I sometimes feel lonely. And that’s what really gets to me, what makes me upset. Not that I’m alone, but that I’m lonely. I begin to feel lonely with the simple thought that I am alone.
This morning was not the best of mornings. After finding myself missing two buses and hence about ten trains, I realised I wasn’t going to arrive at university until 10:00am. An hour after the scheduled time I had booked the photo studio to work in. I listened to the head teacher tell me off, politely as possible – if that’s possible – and borrowed what I thought I’d need, and sat on the chair in that ginormous photo studio – alone. I chatted to James and Vivien online, and realised that I just felt like shit. I didn’t like that I ran for the bus and the train and was still late, and I didn’t like that I had to use the studio, and I didn’t like that I borrowed the wrong camera and really didn’t want to talk to the head teacher again. I honestly felt like crying. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do for my assignment.
In one of my photography classes, I am the only person doing the class as an elective/option. Everyone else already had a lesson about the equipment (lighting, tripods, cyclorama, etc.) in another class, and I just hate being that person pretending to know my way around when I don’t. It made me upset, I didn’t want to touch any of the lights or ask anyone for help. I wasn’t with anyone from my class and talking to James, I felt lonely. I wished I wasn’t alone in that huge studio. I left without doing anything except looking for inspiration on the computer and arranging my papers for a photo I never took.
I spoke to my teacher outside. She was really nice about it. I just appreciate it so much, that she spent time talking to me and giving me suggestions and making sure I understood everything. It made me relieved too, when she said that I didn’t have to use the photo studios as long as I was pretty much fitting the criteria.
I guess I’ll be alright.
I feel annoyed because I lost my SD card. It had some photos on there, both for my work and some personal photos, as well as some videos. I am positive I dropped it somewhere in the photo labs. I looked inside the lost/found cupboard, but nothing. I just sent a bunch of emails to students and the head teacher asking if they had found it. I keep losing things. I don’t know why, but I need a bloody remedy already. I need to stop losing things!
I got to see Lilian today and meet her friends Belinda and Francesca (and Hector XD). Lilian shouted me sushi and Belinda and Francesca had McDonalds. :P I haven’t seen Lilian since April or what… and before that I think we hadn’t seen each other since last year. It was good to see her again. I got to crash her lecture too, which was so much more boring than mine, to be honest. Her university has their lectures recorded. I wish ours were too.
I managed to finish my assignment for my other photography class today. I had to print two large prints and they turned out pretty good. Yesterday James and I picked up some blowing bubbles from the Fusion Festival at university, and we were blowing them in the park and I thought it would make a good photo. :) It was hard to get it right because it was getting dark, late afternoon. I used about half a roll of film so there was bound to be a decent shot there, and there was.
Yesterday we also wanted to check out the Oceanic Cafe, apparently a cafe that has been in existence since the 1920s, with some cheap meals too. We were disappointed to find that it had pretty much closed. I was letting Nina, from my class, look at the photos I’d taken. She recognised the cafe in my photos and I asked her if it was still open or if it closed. She’d been there and said it was a “cute place” but didn’t know if it was closed for good. I remember that James phoned them but there was no answer. :(
Fernando bought sushi for Johnny and me for dinner. Yeah, dinner at 8:00pm… bit odd. I felt bad because it seems like everyone shouted me meals today. /um
I’m terrified of open water D:
Lakes, streams etc. And don’t even get me started on oceans /cactus
I once had this real bad dream I was near the bottom of the ocean and these MASSIVE fish were swimming above me and there were shadows on the ocean floor and their eyes were stoney and black and it was 😰 and pu and Huggs 3:
Also, what’s a cyclorama? Some sort of show about being..stuck in time? 🤫
Shame about the cafe; I guess these places are dying out, huh. 3:
A cyclorama is a concave wall. :) Imagine a skate park and one of those inward domes, but in a corner. :3
I think I remember you telling me that dream before. D: *hugggggs* ♥
PS. My tutor was reading my Doctor Who shirt and said, “You’re a Doctor Who fan… if I had known that before, you wouldn’t have gotten into this course.” What a nurg! 😏
Hey! What’s new? I really couldn’t be happier right now with how I’ve adjusted to college…or well university, as you call it. It’s been crazy here with dealing with the hurricane, but I survived! (that and my first few days of classes) Classes were actually canceled because of Irene, and the whole move-in schedule was nuts. Kinda hilarious, too, actually. We had so much wind and water. Lost power for a while, but my place back home was out of power for almost 4 days!!!
That sucks that you lost your SD card. I would’ve cried. My photography is like…well I’m so into it, and it’s hard to replace the photos. Hope you get it back! I hate losing anything, though it seems that I always lose things. I might leave my head if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders! lol.
ohhhh i actually like indie rock, the kooks and never shout never along with he is we must be my favourite bands in that genre. i’m always open for new music suggestion though, so i’ll check out the song deep water that you suggested :D indie rock isn’t as world known as other genres i think, but i see that as both good and sad. good because then my favourite songs won’t be played to death on the radio. sad because i’m the only one who sings along since no one else have heard about the song nor the band.
……ok i failed, the song deep water doesn’t exist on youtube. you do know where else i can hear it?
i’m glad you finished your assignments today!! i did yesterday, but they were just two small projects. i have a new one to work on tomorrow though, but we’re working in groups so i hope i can get some help where i’m less skilled, haha!!
i agree the rules are really silly!! hopefully there will come another opportunity for you one day! :D
haha once i was going to order some shoes off the internet, and then i notice with a small print at the bottom of the page that they’re only shipping inside the uk border. how silly is that???!
I don’t do open water of any kind. :O It scares me quite a bit. Our lake — Lake Mead — is around 500 feet deep (which isn’t too bad when you compare it to the open ocean), but it suddenly drops off in places. So, you’ll be just walking through the water, or maybe just swimming, and your feet will go out from under you and you’ll just…fall into the water, pretty much. And the water is really murky so you can never see the bottom. I had a mad panic attack when that happened to me; I wouldn’t go back in the water except for five feet or so the rest of the day. The ocean is even worse; there is a place in California where for about two hundred feet the water is very light-colored and you can see the bottom, and then there’s a sheer cliff-face like drop after, and you can’t even see the bottom. Scary as hell.
It took me a while to realize what you did: I am not afraid of being alone, but of being lonely. I am often in a crowd of people and I feel lonely — when no one talks to me, when everyone is talking about something I don’t relate with, and especially when couples are together. I guess that’s what bothers me most, so I completely understand you there. I think that’s human nature though — no one really wants to be alone, even if we say we don’t really mind it.
/sweat Your photography studio experience sounds frightening. I would’ve been very embarrassed if put in that situation myself. I’m very self-conscious when it comes to what others might be thinking, so I would’ve become very nervous and uncomfortable. Which, I assume you sort of were. /um Not a position anyone likes to be in, I think. Glad you got some good pictures, though! :P I would really love to see the bubble ones; I bet those are very interesting. /bounce
That’s a shame the cafe is gone. :/ I miss having family shops/cafes/restaurants. We don’t have them where I live. They’re mostly all commercial chains. Not as much character there, you know?
Anyways, have a good one. ^^
Hmmm yeah, I guess being alone is quite nice sometimes, but other times when “alone” turns into “lonely” then it’s just awful and miserable :( I hope the rest of your week starts looking up and that you feel better! I guess being in a large, unfamiliar place where you don’t really know your way around nor what to do really doesn’t help the loneliness either!
Oh wow, I’ve never heard of those bands, but I’m sure you won’t be surprised by that :P. I’m sure they’re good though, since you like them so much ^^. Hahaha I have this theory that some people don’t want their indie bands to be ‘famous’ because it’ll mean that they might go mainstream and then they (the fans) won’t be able to be all “I’m so cool and hipster because my favourite band is indie!” :P. Wrong reason to like a band, if you ask me but hey, could be a reason :S. But it’s nice to like a band WAY before they get all popular and everything :). You can be a fledgling fan! Hahaha!
Deep water!!! Deep water scares me because I’m a crap swimmer D:. But don’t worry Georgie, you’re not alone because… … … I’M WITH YOU IN SPIRIT!!!! ♥ (Sorry for the cheesiness, but I totally am :) ;) ).
Awww, you seriously had a VERY bad morning yesterday :(. *HUGGSSSSSSSS!* Being stuck in a room all by yourself with unfamiliar equipment would scare the crap out of me D:. But at least you had a nice teacher! Wow, you’re brave to pick a subject where most are pros and you’re like a newbie. *Very proud*. I’m sure that you’ll do well though ^^. Haha you’re creative enough ^^.
YAAAAAAY! I WAS SOOOOOO HAPPY TO SEE YOU YESTERDAY (even though it was only for a short while). SO, SO HAPPY! It was so sad after you left because I was all excited from when I finished my assignment that you were coming so I was like “I’m lacking sleep but who cares cos GEORGIE IS COMING!!!!!!” and then after you left I was like ‘blahblahblah…boringest lecture ever!! *nolongeronahigh*”. But yaaaaaay! We got to see each other! And yeah you met my friends ^^. You’d have met a few more if the Constitutional law assignment wasn’t due. Most of them were skipping XD.
YAY! For finishing that assignment :). Was that the one you asked me to brainstorm ideas for? I LOVE bubbles ^^. I wanna see the photos *sulks*.
Hahaha sushi for lunch AND dinner! Very healthy *nods*. LOL.
I am ashamed to say that I am an Australian who has never heard their music. *hides*
I am a huge supporter of Australian music but clearly not enough! I am sorry!
I am sorry that you feel lonely when you are alone but I kind of get what you mean. I will withdraw myself from everyone because I’m feeling sad but then feel more sad because I’m alone if that makes sense?
I am sorry that you didn’t manage to get your morning off to a good start… and losing your SD card sounds devastating! I am sorry about that as well! :(
I don’t like being alone either. Sometimes I’m home alone at work and boyfriend is at work. I just end up on the computer doing things alone…I do feel lonely even tho I know it’s only for a few hours. Lonely isn’t a nice feeling, so I’m glad we both have awesome friends and a boyfriend to spend our time with.
Gosh your day sounded horrible! Hope you get everything sorted and able to do the assignment the way you want to instead.
Talking about losing things, I’m a victim on that. I lose things all the time, really annoying especially when it’s something I use often.
I enjoy being a silent, closet fan for some reason. :D for me, being a closet fan is a lot safer and peaceful than joining the other fans out there who often battle with each other for some idk-whatever reason,lol. I do hope this one favorite band of mine would go major and it will make me proud. The band’s popular on youtube (name “before you exit”) plus it has talented young singers who are brothers.. sadly, I think their popularity is well.. kind of,limited. (maybe they did go major already.. I’m quite unsure,lol)
😢 Ouch..lost things… I feel like crying now. I think I just lost my white earphone, the one you usually get from Apple when you bought iPod/iPhone.. 😢 I’m sure I put it on the table and now,poof… 😢 😢 we both could really use a remedy,haha.
Sometimes, when I feel lonely, I get all emo and depress… 😳 but I get over with it fast actually since I love being alone.
Sadly, I’ve never heard of those bands. But do give me credit, because I’m American, and that is probably why. I do know AC/DC though. xD I’ve never really been a huge fan of indie music, but some of it is good. I like groups like Deathcab for Cutie, but I’m not even sure if that is considered indie. Maybe it is in my own standards. :P
I’m not one to hate being alone, but I know what you mean about being lonely. They are two separate states of mind, and the idea of being lonely is daunting. ):
Wow, sounds like you had quite the rough day. I’m hopeful that things in that class will work out, even though it may seem helpless during the moment. I hate the feeling that I don’t know what to do when everybody else does. But I’m glad that the teacher talked to you in the end. I hope you find that SD card!
Thank you! :D I’ve always liked the pixel style, but I never really got into it I suppose. But now I’m interested to see your other sites. :) I’m sure your other styles are fantastic! I do love the elegance and simplicity of this layout though. :D
Thank you for the suggestion! I’ll try it out if I get the chance. Sometimes it’s weird how different computer brightnesses can lead to different layout effects. On my computer, the font is very readable and hardly bright at all, which is weird. :P
Haha, yepp. I google all of my symptoms, and I always expect the worse.
I think so too. Dogs are so bubbly and friendly, while cats are a lot more serious. But both are cute to me, and I’ll be happy with either. :)
Have a good day!
I don’t like being alone :(( i feel so lonely being alone. when im alone i tended to think things that are not worth to think for. >.<' though, sometimes being alone helps me to think and reminisce my past /eee
I always let my comments build up! I usually wait until I plan on blogging again then respond to them before posting a new blog. Only, usually by the time I’m done replying, I am too tired to post anything. Dx Like now: I got busy and over four hours have passed. I just have to make sure it doesn’t turn into a chore. ^^ Once something becomes a chore or a job, I have too hard of a time doing it.
I got rid of all of them (well, I have the skin codes saved on my hard drive, but they’re not on my site anymore) except for three. Since I had about ten before, that’s a pretty large chunk. I just kept my favorites. I may try recoding some of the older ones. Like, completely starting from scratch, but coding essentially the same layout.
You’ve never been fishing?! Wow. That’s so hard for me to wrap my mind around. Where I live, it’s pretty much a right of passage. Then again, I do come from a town in a river valley. . . . I do hope you get to go sometime! In my very humble opinion, I think it’s a fantastic way to pass the time.
I figure that, if I’ve been friends with Brittany for ten years already, college shouldn’t negatively impact us all that much. Skype and Facebook chat are two glorious inventions! Haha.
I’ve never heard of any of those bands before. -___- But I’ll be sure to go look them up! I love indie music, too. I just don’t listen to a lot of foreign stuff. The occasional English alt group, or Japanese screamo band, but that’s it. My musical tastes are sadly uncultured.
I know how you feel. Whenever I have a class without any friends, I feel so isolated and awkward. I’m not one of those people that makes friends easily, either. -sighs- I wish I had advice for this, but I just usually sucked it up and ignored it. Probably not the best way for me or you to deal with the problem, though. Best of luck, and if you find a solution, let me know. ;]
AHH! Sushi. All this talk of sushi makes my mouth water. You’d think that a town that has so much fishing would a Japanese restaurant. =/
Wow, sometimes I think we are twins! haha. You mirror my own thoughts so often.
“I like my own company – but when I’m alone, I sometimes feel lonely. And that’s what really gets to me, what makes me upset. Not that I’m alone, but that I’m lonely.”
THIS. This is how I feel sometimes. When I’m home alone, I actually like it most of the time, because I can do my own thing, blast the music out loud, watch my favourite movies, do random stuff on the computer. But other times, I feel lonely… and get a bit upset. Especially when I’m feeling unwell. I would rather be with someone when I’m sick. I think I just need someone there.
I think I’ve heard of that Aussie band, but never listened to anything by them. I like a fair few Aussie bands (if you see my last.fm you’ll notice that XD) and most of them are in the indie/electronica/alt rock genre. Most of them are fairly well-known. There are some that I like, like Red Riders (from Sydney I think) which not many people would have heard of. I understand what you mean about greater recognition. I’m one of those fans who leans more against worldwide fame than for, however it’s not like I don’t want them to be successful or anything :P I just don’t want them to forget where they came from, I guess. Pendulum, for example. They moved from Perth to London years ago, and how often do they come back to Australia? Not often :( It kinda sucks.
That kind of reminds me of the Sick Puppies. My American friend is a huge fan of them and it’s sad that she gets to see them so often. I know I’m not a huge fan of them, but when you see fame get to people’s heads it is kind of sad. :(