A Day Late

I read Pam’s blog recently, and she blogged about how it is okay to be sad. I believe that. It is alright to sometimes just let those tears run, or to feel heart-wrenched, or to feel in a bad mood. Just remember that when you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up.

I have been feeling really overwhelmed lately, and I think to myself – time. I always want time. I always want more time to do everything. It leaves me exasperated when I don’t have enough time for everything. But I suppose, life would be boring if we didn’t have due dates or things like that. We’d take our jolly time, the hell we would.

Which brings me to my topic of discussion: being late. In high school I was known for being fashionably late, but I will admit that I used to blame it on my mother a lot.

I should have been less dependent. That way I could catch a bus to school or to whatever date I have, and not have to wait around for her to get ready to drive me. Maybe I’m not a spoiled daughter, but I sure was back then. I used to leave home around 8:30am, and still get to school on time.

In the last years of high school, I decided to be that independent girl and take the bus, and walk. I decided that I’d be the Early Bird. There were days I’d wake up and go online before even getting ready for school. But then that changed, and the Early Bird would wake up at the same time, but get ready earlier. The Early Bird wouldn’t go online or on the computer, and she would walk to the bus stop, catch a bus to the next suburb, and walk the remainder of the way to school. I’d be there early, before anyone else.

Nowadays, I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I’d never take that kind of time anymore. Now, time is precious to me, and I’m always thinking of what I can read while I’m on the train. I still get to uni early, but sometimes, walking to class, I take my time. It depends.

But, by the time I had started walking to school, it was too late – people still knew me as being fashionably late; a silly reputation brought on, by my laziness.

It’s strange how things work.
I tried to be more independent by travelling on my own, but now, I’m too scared to live alone.
I tried to be less lazy by getting ready earlier, but now, I’m still lazy when it comes to work.
I tried to be less late going to school, but now, I’m still late walking through the classroom door.

We just have qualities that differ depending on what we’re doing. Do you ever feel the same way? Sometimes I feel more dedicated to certain things than others. Perhaps that is why I feel time is more important in some cases, and why being late to some classes doesn’t bother me.

But to sum it all up: I clearly need to sleep earlier.

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