Pain Inside A Spiral Notebook

James doesn’t really like Breaking Benjamin but Vicky and Jorja have recommended them to me and so far I find their music good. I admit none of it blows my head off as of yet, but I haven’t listened to all their songs. I like Firefly and Forget It – they have stood out to me the most so far. ๐Ÿ™‚

I have a habit of thinking of other bands when I hear a new one. Breaking Benjamin sound like a combination of Live, Pearl Jam and 30 Seconds To Mars. So I quite like them so far – wouldn’t call myself a fanatic though. I nicked the blog title from Forget It.

I went on Lilian’s Facebook account for a random nosey and ended up playing Typing Maniac and getting addicted.

I also happened to call her Facebook status update a “tweet”. Oops. ๐Ÿ˜†

Well, seeing as I don’t have a Facebook and won’t be getting one, I’ll resort to the apps on my iPod or something… ๐Ÿ˜

Yesterday my group managed to get together and do the assignment. Hopefully I can trust that they already sent it in online before this afternoon. But we were given time in class to work on it. I’m surprised how many hands really do make light work.

I didn’t have a nice time at work yesterday either. I felt quite tired and my eyes were drooping. Some of the kids were being rather rude and impatient. I think I was just stressed out over the assignments and lack of sleep. I had slept at 2am, partially because I was trying to get something done on the assignment.

My pen ran out and I wasn’t in the greatest of moods to ask my boss for another one. This boy had been getting the same question wrong because it was so obviously grammatically incorrect (and you know how I am about bad grammar). I went to my boss and told her he continued to get it wrong.

She didn’t seem too pleased – maybe because I seemed annoyed.

I was just sitting at my desk with only a black pen and a green pen – no red – and I was just seeing all the work pile up in the box, along with the homework I had to mark. I felt terrible and I could feel my eyes welling up, and I just sat there and buried my face in my hands.

I started to cry. I felt stressed out and tired. I felt bad because I couldn’t get all this work done. It’s funny how I still push myself even just to finish stacks of work at work. ๐Ÿ˜ญ

We have a few autistic children at the centre. One of them is a boy named Corey*. He is quite loud and makes a lot of mistakes but he’s a wonderful bright child. I remember giving him a test once and he was holding my hand. I was warned that the autistic children would be a bit affectionate in that way and not to get too close.

As I was burying my face in my hands with my elbows in the desk, feeling my tears coming out but trying to be ever so silent, I heard a small gasp from my left.

A small voice uttered, “What’s wrong?”

There was so much worry in the voice, but I would have recognised Corey’s voice anywhere. I could feel him rubbing and patting my back. It was so touching that I just cried harder. I’m feeling better now… but that really touched me.

*name changed

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