I Am Terrible?
“I am terrible” seems to be my catch phrase of now (“now” being the present, “now” being in this day and age). It just seems to be my nasty way of wallowing in self-pity for not doing all the things I planned. Cozza says that I always seem to get everything done that I plan to do. Well, eventually I do, but sometimes, I don’t.
I made a plan about ten hours ago to get some stuff done, and I didn’t get it done. That really sucks. When things don’t go to plan, I find it disappointing.
I seem to think that I am “terrible” because my plans always poop up. But – but! I read part of the book, The Little Red Writing Book by Mark Tredinnick, and he puts it quite bluntly:
Have a plan – don’t stick to it.
Which does make me feel less awful about not sticking to plans. Tredinnick says that you should have a plan so you know where to start, but be prepared to wander off the chart. Unfinished to-do lists sit everywhere for me: on my computer, in random
.txt files, but most of all, on the point of humiliation – Woodnotes.org – the domain in which I dump all my thoughts and other rubbishy to-do lists which sometimes never get done until weeks later, long after I’ve ignored the list already. 😛
So I give you permission to wallow in self-pity for not completing your to-do list in any way you please… however…
I do not give anyone permission to make fun of themselves and believe that they are ugly, dumb, stupid or “can’t do anything”. If there is one thing I hate about the modesty of people, it’s being modest to the point that it’s ridiculous. 😤
Constantly calling yourself “dumb” or “ugly” is extremely pathetic. Deep down you know you aren’t “ugly” or “dumb”. Have some faith in yourself, damn it! I know you might think you aren’t all that attractive and you suck donkey balls at math. But we shouldn’t look at our flaws or accentuate them. If you’re horrible at maths, you don’t accentuate or exaggerate it. “I’m dumb!” is clearly an exaggeration of “I’m bad at maths”.
If you didn’t feel comfortable with a part of your body, like huge arms, you wouldn’t wear clothes that bring attention to that area. You wouldn’t want people to see your huge arms. You certainly wouldn’t talk about it.
I know I, personally, am bad at mathematics. “I’m bad at maths” is enough for me to say. But I don’t say “I’m shit at webdesign”. Because, come on, I have faith in myself. I know I’m not shit. I’m not perfect, but I know myself better than anyone else does, and I’m going to be truthful to myself.