Defenceless

Let me put this straight… this past weekend was terrible beginning with the day I got caught in that queue (for non-Australians and non-British, you call it a line, okay…).

Sometimes when people ask you what’s wrong… they really mean it. (Sometimes I don’t want to talk about it.) I feel that some people just aren’t of any consolation. I know we’re not all comfortable around people who are upset, but sometimes you have to say more instead of just sitting there feeling sorry for the person. They could be hurting inside and all you can do is look at them in feigned sympathy?

Come on, give them a hug. Talk to them. Ask them if you can do anything to help. Ask if they want to be left alone. Ask if they want to talk about it. Ask them, “Whose head do I kick?”

I know this… I know this from my past… I’d rather not talk about it in detail… but honestly, some people just need someone to talk to. β™₯️

Today was one of the days I actually felt like being left alone.

Well, on Saturday, that long queue1 at the store pissed me off. I was very angry at having spent so much time outdoors – mostly in the car and in that queue – and upon coming home, being told to do the dishes and clean the house.

I have been lacking sleep lately. That day, that day we’ll call the Day of the Queue, was a real waste of time and where the problems started. That was the beginning of my weekend. The day before, I had a full day at university. I got home late. I was exhausted. I didn’t do any work when I got home because I just wanted to check my email and play some games.

I wanted to sleep in that night. But no, the Day of the Queue came. 😞

Sigh. The past few days have just been really, really terrible. I haven’t gotten much university work done. On the weekend and one of my only days off on Monday, I spent time emailing people and reading their responses to my survey2.

On Monday though, I had to catch the bus and walk to work, which was very annoying. I really dislike the recent bus timetable and route change. You know what this means? It means that after ten years of the same numbered buses going the same way, suddenly the 814 is going from Jupiter to Mars instead of to work! 😑

Things haven’t been good at home with my parents… 😒

I came home today from university to do a set of chores. I talked to my mum. It was upsetting. It’s upsetting hearing or seeing parents fight. Even though you know for sure they won’t split, it is heartbreaking to see them argue and fight.

I was stressed about my report for university; I was stressed about my group assignment; I was stressed about my other group assignment. I was squeezing a stress ball.

Yet they were hardly what I was worrying about.

I worry about the future when my parents fight. I really do.

  1. “Refer to my previous post Part of the Queue. ↩
  2. If you’re over 18 and would like to help me out with my university research project by answering some questions, please email me. ↩

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