Thoughts of flight
I want to cry. There, I said it. I want to cry. I’m such a vulnerable person. When I meet people, one of the things I want to tell them is that I’m vulnerable. I’m really sensitive. I’m a pretty strong person, in the sense that I am determined – so if I feel like I have to cheer up, then I will try, and cheer up I will. But I am sensitive and often I cannot take a joke. I’ve been known to be overly sensitive and not be able to take jokes, but then again, everyone has a different sense of humour. I can find something funny, I can – but sometimes, I may find it offensive.
I was talking to my friend Mike earlier about how open I am with people. I realise that it’s not a good idea to be open with people, or get too close to people quickly. A lot of people I have felt close to have drifted away from me soon later. And I don’t blame them; I don’t blame myself either. Sometimes friends will drift away and you will realise you weren’t that close with them. I wasn’t that close to the friends I no longer talk to.
My friend at work, Noelle, who is a year younger than me, asked if it was normal that people stopped talking to their friends after high school ended. I believed it to be the case, that high school is just one experience in a whole lifetime of experiences, and over time you’ll get older and find new friends. We talked to Kristen too, another workmate, and she said, “My high school friends don’t talk to me anymore. Sometimes it’s just… we bump into each other and they say, ‘oh you’re in uni, you’ve changed’, and they think they know you because they’ve known you longer. We don’t talk anymore.”
I asked James how many friends he had. We talk about it a lot. Not having many friends, that is. He said four. And I said eight, but I could cut that to four really close friends if I really wanted. On the fingers of one hand. It doesn’t bother me.
Making new friends is always difficult. I feel like I should wear a sticker saying “I’m vulnerable” on it. The same way you wear a name tag to show people what your name is, because it’s important. I’m not trying to draw attention to myself – though I said to Mike, I do like some attention, but it’s not like I go looking for it. But I feel like people should know certain things about me before we talk. I wish we knew the important things about people behind their name before we talk to them. That way, anything we say wouldn’t offend or hurt them in any way. Imagine saying something nasty about homosexuals to someone homosexual, because you didn’t know they were? Or slaughtering a certain religion in front of someone who practices that religion?
Now I want to cry because I’m stressed out. I say I want to cry, and if I don’t say why, people will ask. I love my friends because they don’t have to ask. They just know. I’m stressed out despite having another hour (daylight savings). I had a good sleep last night, but I feel like I don’t look forward to the weekends anymore, because there are home duties to take care of, readings for homework, and I always try and squish all my week’s homework into the weekend before.
I don’t know if I’m trying way too hard. I was on floor twenty-something of the tower building of our university and I looked over the edge.
Five years ago, I would have wanted to jump. I was suicidal.
Now, I wanted to fly.
People don’t see the change in me because I don’t put a sticker on my head saying I’ve changed. But I know I have, and I think that’s what matters.
Comments on this post
Scarlett
I’m sorry you’re so stressed :/
I think I understand what you’re saying though. I am really open with people I become friends with. I am an open book… I have no secrets from anyone. I regret it later because it makes me really vulnerable, so I feel like I should tell people I meet less about myself, but I still don’t.
I do think everybody changes though and relationships with friends should never be forced.
Amy
If I knew you five years ago, I would have said that if you jumped, it would be the biggest regret of your life.
Although I haven’t gone through high school yet, I do suppose that the friends you have then will not stay for long (although it is quite possible to have that one or two friend[s] that stays with you) . Who you are in high school will not be who you are ten years later.
I hope you feel less stressed later~
♥
Amy
Georgie
I’m glad I didn’t go through with that. :) I definitely wouldn’t do it now. It’s sad that sometimes friends come and go and you can never really tell if you’ll be friends for a long time or not. But time changes things and I don’t regret anything, those times are just a memory now, I guess. :)
Catherine
*Hugs* I’m sorry about how you’ve been feeling. I am exactly the same way; I can be really strong and motivated, and I always put up this front that nothing bothers me; but I get upset so easily.
I guess you find out who your true friends are when you watch some drift away. I mean just last year I was so close to this one girl, and now we barely talk, and I’m all right with that. People often say that you meet you friends-for-life at Uni :)
I’m so sorry that you’ve been feeling stressed out and I really hope things get better! :(
Dani
I hope your okay. :( *hugs* Don’t worry, I’m the same sometimes as in I can’t take a joke. My friends say I need to stop being so touchy but if someone jokes about something I’m insecure about, I get wound up!
It can be so easy to be open with someone, like if they’re really nice, you feel like you know them really well, and if they hurt you, it makes you not want to open up to anyone. I honestly can’t see myself talking to many people from school in September. Everyone’ll have moved on to college and have new friends, I think I’ll only talk to a select few that I’m close to now. They say that you can only count your true friends on one hand. I guess it’s true, I only have about three or four close friends right now.
I saw this quote before, it was something like “Everything is okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end”. I know it’s a little cheesy, but I refer to it quite often now. Remember everything will sort itself out, I hope you’re feeling a lot less stressed soon! ♥
Lissa
It’s true that the real friends are usualy no more than the fingers on 1 hand. But even the less true and close friends can be very valuable.
The only one who knows the truth about you is you, and that is what matters. Just never forget it. I hope you can break free of all the stresses soon and return to a calmer life.
Moni
Wow Georgina, I feel so much like how you feel! More me making friends was always a very difficult process, Not because I didn’t want to, its because I always felt people just weren’t at my mental and emotional level. I finally met someone who I could relate to in college and we had been friends for over 5 years now. We understand each other so much, had our differences as well of course but the main part is we still keep in touch even though we are now worlds apart (Im married, shes real busy with her work, we hardly talk) But yes, its very hard to find someone you can relate to in this world. Now I feel, I can never make any new friends because they won’t understand the person that I am. I’m very sensitive too, but I can be strong if circumstances permit.
Thanx so much for the link! I did find those over google because I got so obsessed lol
I agree we need to clean up hehe Oh yes, and the fanlistings, maybe I should let someone adopt them but I find it’s so pointless for my fanlisting collective esp. because it’s hardly even known! =( sad but true. One of my darling friends wanted to buy it from me so I was happy to let her ;D Thanx for being such an sweetheart :)
Cazzie
I understand COMPLETELY how you feel.
You shouldn’t feel that you are more vulnerable than others because you are more emotional than others. Everyone is vulnerable, just some are in denial about it and believe that they are not, and that’s when they develop a sort self-absorbed confidence, but just like everyone else, when they falter, they break down. It’s the same for everyone, regardless of who you are, or how many friends or people you have to look over you and guide you.
I don’t know what’s up with people nowadays, but everyone just seems to be so inconsiderate and unable to be honest and open with others. I feel like everyone is out to get me, that they’re not like me, so isolate myself. To the point where I isolate myself from my own family. Because i’m sure that my own family can’t understand me, i believe everyone must not be able to, too.
There’s just days where I feel I can’t move on, because i see no progress in my life, i see people moving forward in their life, with people they love, and with a life thats beautiful and care free. I see the people I call ‘friends’ living their lives in unity, and it breaks me to pieces. And when I’m in a bad mood no one can seem to tell, even the I strive to try to never show them who I really am or how I really feel, because I know it’s not their issue, its mine. My emotions always get the best of me, but I still try to conquer them and keep living.
Ways I assure myself is by reminding myself that there are others out there feeling the same thing, or maybe even something far worse, reminding myself of the true friends and family that i have that really do know and understand me, also by listening to music that calms me (Nirvana, Bob Dylan, The black angels,etc, it varies from person to person.).
I hope you find a way to find yourself, because it does seem your lost. I know having a lot of friends may seem like fun, but what are they worth if they don’t even really know or appreciate you. As much as we liked to have an ideal number of friends, or an ideal type of friend, we never do get it. Because what we get is far more better than we can ever wish for, and its up to us to really make something out of what we got. & that’s happiness right there.
Georgie
I don’t believe I’m lost now, though I definitely was before. Right now I have the friends I need, and it sure beats having the ‘acquaintances’ I had in high school. I had many friends back then but I couldn’t really call them friends because we weren’t even close. I have some very dear friends now and I value them more than anything. Going through what I went through in the past makes me really appreciate them.
I’ve never really been close to members of my family, which is quite sad, but knowing that I do have my friends to confide in helps me. I wish I could be closer to my family sometimes but I don’t think they would be able to understand me the way my friends do.
I love Nirvana. :D I have that music too, the music that keeps me going, particularly that of Armor For Sleep and Ben Jorgensen (featured in the layout right now). Coming out of that suicidal phase was the best thing for me because I am so much more of an optimist, and I definitely look forward to my future now, and I’ve come out of this hole of a past a much happier person. :)
Ryanne Nicole
I’m super sensitive as well… though I’m kind of the opposite from you in that I am a very closed off person because I know I’m really sensitive and tend to put up a shield in order to avoid getting my feelings hurt. It isn’t necessarily any better; I drive my boyfriend crazy sometimes because of it (HE, on the other hand, is very, very open.)
Awwww :( I get that way when I’m stressed out, too. I think what gets to me is feeling overwhelmed, and as if things aren’t going to be resolved/it’s going to take a lot MORE stress to get them resolved… stay strong ♥ everything will turn out alright in the end.
Liz
I remember in elementary school that the number of friends ranked your popularity. As the years passed and I was in high school, that somewhat stayed in place, however; being popular was not necessary. It’s like MySpace – having loads of friends made you “cooler”. It was annoying, and it was frustrating, because a lot of people considered friends to not be so close there. But I would rather have a few close friends than have eighty not-so-close friends.
I cannot invite my homosexual/bisexual friends over to my house, or even to my mom’s house (including bringing them up in a conversation), for the fear that they will be bashed and insulted. :( My mom is strongly against it, and though I am to, I still love them and find them to be wonderful people. They are just different. Makes me wonder what all she would do to me if I was “one of those people”.
It is good to cry every once in a while, even if you do not know what to cry over/about.
People do not see the change in me, either. Or if they do, they think it’s a “phase”, or me rebelling against them. When in reality, I am merely trying to fly away from this nest everyone surrounding me continues to put me in because I have not done everything on the list to “growing up”. I’m working towards independence.
My step dad (Tony) pranked my mom. He’s all about it. And then he tried to prank me, and when I said it was not “fun” and that I’m “over it”, he simply rolled his eyes and replied with a goofy “Whatever, Sarah. You don’t even know what ‘fun’ is.”
Blah.
YEAH!!!! My dad has business trips, though. Uhm… He’s shipping it.
You know, in the mail.
United States Postal Service (USPS).
In a package.
In bubble wrap.
Putting it in people’s hands.
Stranger’s hands.
People I have never met, do not know, and do not really even trust.
But it is the only way I can get it sooner than visiting him, ya know? And I need it soon, too. For homework. My mom won’t let me take her laptop home and do my homework there.
My grandmother Mimi suggested her (which she officially gave to me in 2010) typewriter. 1) It hasn’t any ink, and I can’t find the ink for it anywhere. :( 2) How in the world am I supposed to use MLA format on a typerwriter? :P
Oooh. Cute Maintenance Mode on Floriental. :P Very … elegant. :D
I don’t like taking a lot of medications. …The ones the doctor prescribed? Yeah. Haven’t been taking. >.< I'll tell him that my original TWO medications were working better, and that I would rather take those instead. I'm going to go in ALONE this time. And if he puts me on something else, or does something else, I'll come right out and tell him I dislike him and that next time I want to see my mom and sister's doctor, Debra. :P Mhmm.
Laura
Hello Georgina :D
I think it’s a really good thing that you’re open with people. Even if people do drift away, at least you have know them for a while.
Making new friends is difficult but sometimes it works out all by it self. Yaaaaay ♥
It sucks that you’re stressed out. @_@ I like to sleep when I’m stressed out.
Wanting to fly instead of jumping is an improvement! (I’d say) woohoo 👏
I’m glad you don’t want to jump /eee you go girl ! /pow (haha, lol)
Gabi
Things will get better. I know I don’t know your exact situation, but from my own experience, I know that they always do even if it takes a long time.
Sometimes I wish people could know things about me before ever even speaking about me as well. But really, that shouldn’t even be necessary. I’m always taken aback when people throw out strong insulting opinions when I first meet them. Not only does it make me afraid to be open about my own differing opinions, but it makes the person seem ignorant and makes me feel awkward. I only have a small number of friends I could consider close right. All of my friends drift eventually. For some, it saddens me, but most of the time I just move on. They change, I change…I’ve accepted that very few people share a connection that could withstand that. I don’t think it means that you were never close ever with the people that drift.
But, I may not be the most understanding on the topic since I feel like I’m usually the one to drift. I’ve moved several times and have never had the same group of friends for over two or three years. I’m always open (perhaps too open), but I never really become attached. Sometimes I wish I would try harder to maintain friendships despite distance. I don’t, though.
Everyone is vulnerable, but some show it more than others. Honestly, I think it’s better to show more vulnerability. Holding in things that are bothering you isn’t healthy.
I hope you feel better soon. :)
Sam
I’m sorry you feel so stressed! ♥ We were talking about stress in PDHPE just earlier today – right now I’m in IST (computer studies) and very bored. Anyhow, in PDHPE they made us do some meditation business that apparently relieves stress.
There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable, but I agree with you in saying that I wish we knew all the important things about someone before we meet them/talk to them. I suppose a problem is that you come across as such a strong person, but people fail to realise you can be both determined and vulnerable at the same time.
I’m kind of worried about what will happen to my friendships at the end of high school, even though it’s quite a long time for me until I leave. There are plenty of people who I know I’ll drift apart from and can accept that, but I’ve got some really good friends and I’m scared that we’ll drift apart without the common ground of school to keep us in touch.
Stephanie
I am glad that your thoughts are of flying and being awesome rather than jumping and dying. It seems that a lot of people go through a relatively depressing phase in their lives, and I’m glad that those depressing phases usually don’t last too long!
When I left high school, I lost contact with a lot of people, and some people I will never talk to or see again. Others I hardly keep in contact with, but whenever we hang out, it’s like we never left, but this group is also few in number, and I think that’s how it goes for most people. A lot of people change when they leave in ways that you wouldn’t originally imagine, and that makes it harder to communicate.
Don’t cry too much! I’m sure that you’re strong to cry just the right amount so that you can do all of your venting, but so that you don’t get too bogged down. From this end of the Internet, you work very hard and manage yourself well. And I’m sure that your best is enough.
Seb
I hope you’re feeling better now! *hug* ^_^
I remember having a similar talk with my best friend around two years ago. We talked about how we had different friends now compared to a few years ago. And we had a thought – would we still be close friends, still be part of each other lives in five, ten years time? We certainly hope so, but I guess you never know.
I never imagined I would be living here in Sydney when I was 10-12. I never imagined I would part from my friends, and have new friends. Even when it was decided that I would be moving here, I rejected the idea of having to leave my friends. I remember saying to one of my friends “Screw it. I’ll be anti-social. I won’t make any friends. I’ll finish studying there and then come back to you guys”. Ah… how times change.
And I guess that’s it. Change. Everything changes, sooner or later. Even ourselves. Even our friends. And unfortunately people drift apart. Maybe I won’t miss those people I was never really close to. But I know I will miss my close friends. I know this because I miss my friends in Peru. Even if we’re not as close as we used to, or even talk as much, I still miss them. I still remember the good, old times.
And if it was up to me, I guess, a small convo, even a ‘hi, how are you?’ every now and then beats having them disappearing from my life completely.
P.S. Awesome post. :3
Georgie
I am! :) Writing really helped me release those stressful emotions. I think the stupid assignment just blew my head up; my headache keeps coming back and I’ve honestly no idea why I refuse to take painkillers. They rarely work for me. O_O
At thirteen, I was really close to the friends I hung out with in high school. At thirteen, we imagined we’d be studying together, even though we wouldn’t be studying the same course, but perhaps we’d be hanging out every weekend and helping each other. It’s definitely not the case now, but I think that coming out of high school was the time I realised, and when I realised, I accepted that we weren’t going to be in close contact anymore.
Part of me misses the good times I had with my old friends. But as Big Mama put it in The Fox and the Hound, “Forever is a long, long, time. And time has a way of changing things.” I don’t regret making friends with these people at all, I don’t feel like I wasted time with them. It’s all just a memory now, but a good one. :)
Kat
hey sorry that you’re so stressed at the moment, hope things get better soon and that you’re feeling better :)
I know what you mean I can be open to people sometimes and then I regret it because I hardly know them and they know so much, there’s some things though that I keep to myself that I barely even tell my mum who is closest to me, I feel like i’d be giving too much up if anyone else knew.
I don’t talk to a lot of my high school friends anymore either, we’ve just drifted apart and nobody’s bothered to stay in contact, I do have some really good friends though.
I know what you mean when you say you wish people knew certain things before they talked to you, but in a way I don’t because they could use that against you and be horrible if they were a malicious person and I don’t think I’d like some of my vulnerabilities exposed that way, that being said it would be a good idea to know some things so you didn’t put your foot in it.
I know right he just was out of order that night especially with him having a girlfriend, I haven’t seen him in a while though now, or spoke to him, I’m not really bothered at the moment with him he’s clearly a dick
jar
i have been friends with my friends for more than a decade :)
and yes people does change for the fact that they wanna do something with their lives.
i really dont know what im talking about right now, but you’re lucky you still have tears in your eyes, literally i dont. i have dry eyes!! gaah!
Kendra
I’m sorry you had to feel sadness like that. It comes over us from time to time, though. It’s inevitable. You have the good friends you need and that’s all that matters, and you understand that which is great. I don’t talk to anybody from high school. At all, actually. I’ve met a couple of friends in my classes recently but even them I’m not super close with. It’s hard to make new friends and become super close with them because I feel like there’s so much they’ll never know or that they wont actually care to find out.
I’m glad you have good friends now who know you so well. That’s always important. Some people take that for granted but you obviously have an appreciation for it which is amazing.
I know from reading your blogs in the past and what not about how you’ve struggled with your depression and I just think it’s amazing that you’ve recovered so well. I, too, fought similar problems but I still feel them from time to time. I still have those days where I can feel the miserableness setting in for no reason at all sometimes. I’m glad you’ve been able to conquer that and now want to fly. *hugs* ♥
LOL. That hat sounds so cute! In lectures I definitely don’t care where I sit because there are so many more seats and people. I generally navigate toward the middle area, though. In classes, like the one from my blog, I go straight to the back hahah. Paranoia.
I was actually thinking today about how you always keep your layouts up for a substantial amount of time. Kind of random haha. Not a bad thing at all, I admire that. I wish I could do it but I get sick of mine so easily. Yours as so great that there’s nothing to get sick of lol. :)
Jamie
Hey I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately! I’ve been working hard on my domain and I royally f*cked it all up and had to create a new layout and a new index page with new content. But I’m glad I did because I was able to do a lot of the style coding myself and heehee I did some of the contentbox coding myself! :D I’m so proud! I can actually code something with out having steal it. I do look at it to see how it’s done, but I don’t steal. I just make it my own ya know?
Hmmm, contrary to you thinking you’re vulnarable I think you’re wrong. I think you are quite the smart one. But like you I feel like I’m bi-curious. I know I’m not, but like I was telling Andrew; when my mind wanders that’s a sign of me getting nervous and than the bi-curious stuff pops into my head. I do think other women are attractive, but I don’t want to do any sexual thing related to them ya know? Just be friends. I admire their bodies because of them being so thin but I think that’s about it. And I think that’s why I believe I could be bi-curious becuase of my weight and medications. But I’m not sure about that either. :/. So we’re in the same boat.
Hmmm, you make a valid point though, high school friends do tend to drop out of your life and even though a lot of them are on facebook.com it just seems most of them are trying to regain their ‘popularity’ structure back ya know? I’m not like that though, I do add people I don’t really know but only those that are fans of Meat Loaf, but the vast majority of the people on my friends list is friends and some family. But that’s about it. So I do get what you’re saying. A year ago I didn’t ever think I was going to lose weight, I would lose 5 pounds but I would gain it right back instantly. Now I have lost 50 pounds and I go in for a check up on Thursday (hopefully I have lost not gained I’ve been drinking real soda to not have any seizure attacks and it’s been working) so I hope by me drinking real soda doesn’t effect that. I’ve also started working out. It’s only 15 minutes for my abs but that’s what I want to accomplish first is my abs. I’m sure you know what involves in the abs area right? Well; this 15 minute work out routine is called “Skinny B*tch” and it does wonders. There’s two women who do the routines and they warm you up for one side of your body, and then do the exercises (1 exercise I can’t do yet so I rest while they do that but then I pick it back up after that exercise) and then they do the same warm up for the other side of the body. And two days straight (I skipped Saturdays session), I’ve felt the burn in my muscles and obliques so I know it’s working. I am really happy. I can feel it tightening up and what not. I do get a little sweaty but eh, it’s all good. Heehee.
I think I maybe have a couple of friends now, that I still talk to. Offline that is. I only see two of them, and the third of them is Andrew, but the other one is living in Ohio right now. The other friends I talk too I don’t get to see all that much unless it’s texting wise or whenever I’m in our hometown. But even then it’s kinda hard to see all of them. Ya know? I did however go to Church yesterday and everyone (not to be conceited) was thrilled to see me back. My Pastor thought I had lost some weight but he didn’t want to say anything out loud and then be wrong. But I told him the stories of my seizures and all that and he prayed for me to get well; during the prayer requests. I felt like a selfish kid asking for a prayer request on my behalf but my friend Sara tells me that I shouldn’t feel that way. And I really shouldn’t, but before I thought about me I did ask him if we could pray for Japan and it’s surrounding countries. So yeah. I felt good about that.
So you’re not a lone, don’t even think that. Just remember who your true friends are both offline and online :). You’ll do fine. I’m sorry I didn’t make a comment on the last post if I didn’t and I have no excuse for that other then I’m sorry I didn’t get around to it. But rest assured all is good between us and I am so thankful for that. I do hope one day we get to meet face to face!
Alice
Awh 😢
You know, even if you are stressed out at the moment…A time of un-stressfulness will enter your life as soon as the stress decides to fly out your window and hit the street and end up in the hospital – and when the stress is out of the hospital it will come back…and then leave again.
Yes, that was one sentence. Oh well, I hope you’ll be all right 👏
Its so sad when you have had a real close friend and then you just slip away from each other!! Its like you expect the other one to contact you again and hang out with out, because you can’t be first after a while and intrued on their “new” life /ehh
RE: Thank you! I always enjoy getting feedback on my poems 😝 I only use commas when I see that they are extremely needed..It kind of ruins my poem by having symbols in it. But I see the way you’re thinking. (Y) Your poems are really good..and you have so many on one site @_@
I think our style is quite different, since your is more fit to be read out-loud, while mine are meant for being read.
Indeed, Charlotte and Emily are sisters. :) Jane Eyre is such an amazing book, so well-written and so beautiful. I don’t find the language very hard to read, some words are unknown for me, but I think its almost better reading that English than the one people write today. It gives the books an old “glow”.
/angry HTML-tags. How annoying. I didn’t think about that! Oh well. (C+P’s my comment right now /pow )
I’m sorry if you only get half a comment. I feel like failing suits my jeans today.
Owen
Aw :( I haven’t been feeling too good either lately. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, and then in itself is quite overwhelming (for me anyway). I didn’t think that kids could get depression, but I guess they can.
I’m in high school at the moment, and it’s crazy how one year you’ll be best friends with one group of people, and the next a completely different group. I guess people change as they grow older.
You’ll be OK, just think positive. Have you ever thought about getting some sort of counselling? It’s really helping me at the moment.
Brice
I know what you mean. I’m sensitive and often I can’t take a joke. It’s because what they say or do is down right mean. They don’t care. They expect me to take it as it is. 😢 I don’t tolerate that kind of thing anymore. I learned to stick up for myself. I’ll tell it like it is. I won’t beat around the bush or sugar code it. If you can’t accept it, I don’t know what else to tell you. In other words, kill them with kindness. That should shut them up. Trust me. It takes years of practice. I’m slowly getting it down. /cool My teacher taught me, “Today, you rule the day. Don’t let anyone take over.” Hope that helps a bit. 👏
I know what you mean. I don’t like to be open with people or get too close to them quickly. A lot of people you’ve felt close to will drift. You shouldn’t blame yourself. It’s not you. It’s probably them. Sometimes friends will drift away and you will realized you weren’t that close with them. I wasn’t that close to the friends I no longer talk to. I’m sure you’ll make plenty more friends.
Yes, it’s normal that people stopped talking to their friends after high school ended. I had plenty of school friends. I don’t talk to them unless I bump into them. If they don’t want to talk you, oh well. It’s there lost. They don’t know what they’re missing. 🙄
It’s not the quantity of friends. It’s the quality of friends. That’s the kind of friends people need. The good ones. Not the bad ones. You can say you have four friends versus no friends at all. That’s how I look at it. /ho
Not everyone wants to be your friend. They’ll find a flaw on why they don’t want to be your friend. That sucks for them. People can be very judgement. It’s a damn right shameful thing. 😒
Every time I feel stressed out, I like to go walking. That always make me feel relaxing. It clears my head. You should do something that makes you feel relaxing. I tried to break it down. I’ll do this on this day. I’ll do that on that day. Stuff like that.
It feels good being that high. It’s like your on top of the world. XD People don’t see the change in me. People think I’m still the same ole person. What do they know?
Stephanie
:) It’ll be okay. A similar thing happened to me, there was projects after project, essay after essay, exam after exam… I felt I couldn’t take it ( this is my first year of Gifted glassed /faw ). So I ended up cutting myself because I thought I was a horrible person for not being able to deal with it, but I realized I wasn’t. If you ever feel like this again, just remember that you’re never alone.
I’m not that open with people, even my friends that I’ve known my whole life. I find it hard to share terrible things that happen, because I have a fear of crying. It’s nice that you’re very open with people, since you can easily get things off your chest. /eee Luckeh Duckeh.
Making new friends is hard. Lucky for me, though, in our school they give us the same classes with the same people (but not in order, the same people). Well, I dunno if they still are, we got a new principal. But anyway, I’m scared of saying the wrong things, too.
People who really know you will know that you’ve changed, & good friends will love you no matter who you were then & who you are now. ♥
Melle lee
we are alike.. I’m also sensitive that sometimes I take jokes seriously.. :-( I know that it shouldn’t be like that but for some reason, i cant help it..
well dear they were right.. and yeah, you shouldn’t get close to people right away because some of them doesn’t really care.. And yeah, when you’re in college, you get to meet new people and you wont even talk that much with your highschool friends anymore.. but hey, your highschool friends are your friends forever.. They are the ones who really know you.. unlike in college, they have no clue about your past not unless you tell them, but your HS friends witnessed everything..
I really love making friends but one thing i’ve learned in life is not to trust them right away.. but when you speak of friends as in real friends, mostly we only have 3-4 of them though most of our friends ranges more than that.. It’s better to have few friends than having a lot of plastic friends..
sorry that you’re stressed out.. I kinda feel the same way too but mine goes emotionally.. I try not to think about it.. and yeah what matters is that you’ve changed.. :))
well, i can be your friend if you wanted to
bianca
hey friend
im sometimes sensitive as well. this weekend i wasnt in the mood for anyone i dunno why i get like that. i am careful who i am open with, im normally open with girls than boys. the only problem is when they get to know me they start disappearing one by one, i understand with the wheelchair at times it gets complicated but i can work around it so it isnt complicated, my parents say theyll always make a plan for me. i think from high school ive got one friend i still speak to but i feel like we growing apart :(.
everybody changes throughout the year, our tastes, likes and dislikes change as well etc. its the way of life. as my parents friends son said “its the circle of life”.
hope u feel better soon hun (hug)
Krystal
I’m a really vulnerable person too. I can get easily offended or upset. I worry about what people think all the time and will think they have something against me.
As people grown older our friendship circle is much shorter. But we become closer to them though. The friends I have now will be friends for life. We are really close and they really know me well. I hardly talk to my high school friends. Everyone is just busy with their own life now especially since we’re all working now. No one really has time for each other.
How many years of university do you have left? I might have said this before but I find working life less stressful. As soon as you leave the office, then works is left in there with it. Your time away from work is your own time which is what I really love the most. I don’t have to worry about homework, assignment or anything each weekend. The hours at work can sometimes be stressful or boring but as soon as you step out of the office then all the stress is gone till the next day. There’s something for you to look forward to after you graduate.
Lissy
I’m super sensitive too. I cried all through college. I was so crazy stressed. It all ended the day I graduated though if that makes you feel any better :)
ida
i’m sorry to hear you’re so stressed, things will get better, eventually!! you’ll just have to stay strong, and keep your motivation up!! i believe in you can do it!! (:
i’ve heard the real friends can be counted on just one hand, and i think that’s true!! we have about 400-600 facebook “friends”, but there’s just a few who actually would stood up for us and be real friends when we needed it. friends bare with you through good and bad times, and they try to understand and have symphathy for you. some friends are like angels without wings.
i’m not good at making new friends, i’m usually really shy, and i don’t say much ;S
i’m a sensitive person, but i don’t like to admit it. not even to my best friends. i think it’s embarrasing to cry in front of other people, and i don’t like it when i take stupid jokes personal. i now it’s nothing personal, it’s just a joke!
it would be helpsom if we were labeled somehow, but i understand some people want to keep their darkest secrets hidden and a away from everyone else.
yes i miss the time i shared with some people, but they’re from the past, and i guess there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to be with me in future. feelings change, and everyone discover new things about themself, maybe they found out they’re in the wrong group of friends. still it doesn’t mean we didn’t have a great time together in the past (:
Brice
Funny that you mention it, some aren’t the type where they express their feelings. Others moves on like nothing happen. I know a few people who are like that. Wow. It sucks to be them. /pow
You’re Welcome. :) I’m glad to be a help in some way. That’s good. I’m glad everyone’s comments has cheered you up. 👏 Every time I feel down, I like to read some quotes. That always cheers me up. You could read some jokes too.
Don’t you just hate that? People just don’t talk to their friends as much anymore and time makes you drift apart. /argh You wished you were still friends. 😢 I still think about the good times. 😳
You’re lucky. You were friends with pretty much everyone. No one wants to be my friend. I think it has to do with the whole reputation. The looks, the brains, etc. Of course, there’s the clicks. It’s nice to have good friends. You know you can count on them. ;)