Things that irritate me

This is another experiment into a stream of consciousness, much like my other post, “Seventeen teas later”, which explored how mood affects stream of consciousness.

This is a list of things that irritate me, based on my current state of mind (sitting on a train on my way to work in the wee hours of the morning).

Immature people. Commercial television. When necklaces get caught in scarves. When you pull a thread on a scarf and you spend ages trying to get it back to normal. When your thread of your hoodie disappears into the hoodie and you have to dig it out. When there is no more toothpaste in the tube. When people have very bad body odour on public transport. When trains run late to the point where you don’t even know where the services are going. Carrying a lunchbox in your bag and trying exceptionally hard to hold your bag upright at all times so that your pasta doesn’t roll around and get sauce all over the lid and not in the pasta itself. When the doors to a bus close on you. Idiot bus drivers. People who can’t drive properly. People who try and merge lanes when they’re far too close to you. People who honk their horns at learner drivers. You were once learning too. Also, it doesn’t help. Food. Sometimes. Breakfast. Sometimes. When someone boils water and uses nearly the whole kettle, so you have to boil more water. Waiting for water to boil. Crooked zippers. When you get paranoid that you have left something behind and you spend a frantic thirty seconds rummaging through your bag. Spam mail. Spam mail from contact forms. Really obvious spam mail. Spam comments. Spam comments about Michael Kors handbags because holy cow, I don’t give a monkey’s ass about designer handbags. Handbags. Handbags with too-short-to-put-on-your-arm handles. Handbags with not-too-short-to-put-on-your-arm handles, but because you’re wearing a thick coat, become one of those too-short-to-put-on-your-arm-handled handbags. Really thick coats that restrict movement. When people stare at you with a nasty look. When people stare at you because you’re programming on a laptop on the train and you probably don’t look like a programmer because you just look like a girl dressed in a coat who couldn’t possibly know anything about computers except maybe Facebook because that’s what the stereotype suggests and thus it seems to make staring okay. Newsflash: it’s not. Facebook. Trying to tell people that I don’t have Facebook. I still have to deal with the reactions. Trying to explain why I don’t have Facebook. Shipping costs. Really ridiculous shipping costs. Stomachaches. Stomachaches from bad reactions from food. Girls who wear ridiculously heavy earrings that visibly pull down their lobes. Girls who don’t know their level of comfort and clearly struggle while walking in exceptionally high heels. Really short shorts. When they spell my name “Georgia” at Starbucks. Starbucks. Sometimes. When you forget about that certain something that irritates you, because it hasn’t happened recently. Getting your tights caught on anything even remotely sharp, even just nicking it with some callous skin, and having them more or less ruined. Shoes that don’t fit. Girls who wear high heeled shoes that clearly don’t fit because they’re walking really carefully and you can just see the enormous gap at the back of their shoe behind their heel. Slow trains. Autocorrect on phones. Putting my bag on the floor. Being forced to put my bag on the floor, for whatever reason. When people put their bag on the floor carelessly and don’t realise it’s littered with germs. When people ask me stupid questions about my diet. Nail polish chipping. Nail polish smudging before it has even dried. People who are narrow-minded and don’t like trying regional cuisine. Chinese food made by Western people. Chinese food made in a Westernised manner. Expensive food that isn’t worth the money. When people leave the empty toilet roll on the holder. Automatic sensor taps that spit out water so violently, you end up splashing yourself. I like a bit of control in my life. Please. When people spell “please” as “pls“ when they are asking for a favour or being serious. People who think that “x” or “xo” at the end of a message means the sender is romantically interested. People who talk really loudly on the phone. The government. Taxes. Paying back student loans. People who make a big deal out of superannuation. Birds that fly directly over my head because I get afraid that they’ll excrete on me. Obnoxious cyclists. People who try and tickle you once they know you’re ticklish.

Just wanted to get that off my chest. What irritates you?