Shades of Grey

8th September 2009

I distinctly remember the phase of here and now, Somewhat alone and listening to The low thrumming of the wheels as I imagine the fields I ran in as a child. I come to familiar places, See familiar faces, And though I cannot try anymore I feel the heavy weight of my heart, The long lost journeys in the back Of my humoured mind.

I recall the music that played that time, The sunlight weaving its way around my face; Dubiously, I take out my pen and paper and write To the degree where my heart is satisfied. For I linger away when a soul walks by, And I see familiar faces disappear; Smells of home greet me, Smells of familiarity; I try to hold my heart high and feel The empty blackness in its cold and bitter embrace. Those days long gone I tried to forget, To make up for the promises I had broken.

Inherently, I reach into my pocket and feel The cold coins, the scraps of paper, Deep in selfless hope. I shall not be the only one; I want to tell them more than you, more than I, More than anyone at all; Your words mean more to me than everything But never before – never before – did I apologise.

The delay with my heart drops distantly, As familiar voices ring in my ears, And with pins in my heart, once removed, The numbness of a thousand guilts immerses me in gelid water By and by, but all I feel is that I was destined to fall. You won’t be someone and nor will I; A teardrop falls, and I don’t want to feel it fall The way I did.