I find it really easy to forgive people. Sometimes I forgive people without them ever apologising. I am not sure why; maybe it is because I just don’t see the reason in holding a grudge against people. You aren’t going to see certain people every day or be made to spend time with them, so if you dislike them for whatever reason, you can usually stay away and that will help you keep your mind off them.
I used to think it was because I was brought up strictly. But I think it is a combination of both that and my childhood experiences. I came to the simple conclusion that I wanted to consider everyone a friend, and that harbouring hate for anyone was not necessary, not to mention bad for my personal well-being. I asked myself, “In five years’ time, will this person even really matter? Will I get over this by then?”
The answer is, they may not matter, and I will be over it by then. Even if I believe they will matter to me, that gives me even more reason to forgive. I know what it’s like to not be forgiven. It isn’t a nice feeling, thus I never wanted anyone around me to feel the same pain.
Forgiving is not easy. It always depends on the wrongdoing of the person in question. I have had people betray me, make fun of me, spread rumours about me, say nasty things to my face, physically hurt me, made me feel used, and emotionally trod all over my feelings. And I still forgave them.
I now try and tell people when they’ve hurt or offended me, and it makes a difference to saying nothing. It is, however, more difficult than the actual act of forgiving itself. More recently, I have tried to say, “I found that offensive”, or a flat-out “That hurt my feelings”. Even though I will immediately say “…but it’s okay”, it encourages an apology. Sometimes I have had to speak bluntly, because not everyone wants to listen to a monologue of how fed up I am of their mocking (or what have you).
I learned to say something, because if you don’t say anything, people won’t know they’ve hurt you, and they’ll likely do the same thing again because they think you’re okay with it.
Being easily forgiving makes it easy for people to tread all over me and hurt me and know I’ll be okay with it later. You would think I’d have a thick skin by now, but not really. I still get hurt. And it’s that hurting feeling that makes me realise I am actually actively forgiving — not just disregarding people’s actions or not being bothered by them.
It’s difficult having a character trait like this. However, ultimately, forgiving people makes me feel better about myself as a person. And I don’t deny that it develops some sort of inner strength.
Forgiving gives us a feeling of relief and comfort unlike holding grudges where we feel tension and unevenness. I did live in anger before due to bullying and all that stuff, but growing up, I realized that forgiving makes everything better, though we might wanna consider trusting that person again. It’s easy to forgive but not easy as to forget.
Being able to forgive also means that you are brave enough to face problems and issues, and that gives us strength. Unlike those who keep their pride up and hold grudges against people are the ones who are weak.
Seriously, I am now thinking of those people I am not good terms with while writing this comment.The thought of apologizing them after all that they have done just came to me even though–as what you mentioned–they did not reach out or anything. Every time I think about them I just lose a bit of my temper, but I’m thinking, how about I try to forgive them, especially now that in 2 weeks school will start, and it’s our senior year, last chance to make the best of everything.
I find this very inspiring and I learned a lot from it. Thank you. Hopefully you would continue to be brave enough to forgive those who wronged you and thus live a comfortable life by that.
I absolutely ♥ this post. It’s so hard to find genuinely good people that just love being good because it fulfills them. I am the same way. I am very forgiving, even if that means that I am forgiving you and still keeping at a distance. I try to always being good to people regardless if I like them or not. I just think that negative energy is negative energy whether justified or not and if you dwell on the things that people have done to you, you usually attract more of those types of people.
And I also agree with you. Being able to forgive is the ULTIMATE strength. And you’re right it is difficult to have a character trait like this esp. when many do not possess it and when you tend to be like this, people can at times view you as weak.
It’s definitely a lot easier not to harbour anger and hatred toward people, even if they hurt you on purpose. And even though it can catch people off-guard, it’s also easier to point out when what they’re saying is unintentionally making you uncomfortable in some way.
I don’t think I outright /forgive/ people for being cruel to me, especially in primary school. I just stop caring. To me, forgiveness is something given to people who want it. If those people came up to me and apologised, I would forgive them; but as the situation stands now, they don’t talk to me and I don’t talk to them, and it’s fine and dandy that way.
I have the most trouble asking for forgiveness. I can forgive, but when I know I’ve done something and someone needs me to apologise, I have a ridiculously hard time actually asking for their forgiveness. I do feel sorry about it, but the whole, “Can you forgive me?” thing is so foreign to me. People never called me out when I hurt them; now that they do, I’m chagrined and mumble out apologies. I mean, it makes me sound so insincere, but it isn’t just my going, “Oh, sorry, lololol.” I don’t consider apologising to be the same as asking to be forgiven, either. At least, not to me. If someone apologises to me, I’ll tell them (if I do) that I forgive them, even though they aren’t… asking for it.
This got rambly, aha. Sorry. I have a lot of guilt to live with and forgiving myself is something I don’t do as willingly as forgiving others.
You have definitely said a mouthful there Georgie! I find it easy for me to forgive, but I will never forget!
I would like to think I’m a fairly easy going person and easy to get along with. I know I can get pretty heated when mad and automatically fight. Who doesn’t?
I’ve had so many people come and go in my life (even family). But I still forgave them (friends included) even though I will never forget that I’ve been hurt. Same goes with my dad’s girlfriend. I’ll forgive her for the things she’s said, but I will never forget what she did. Ya know?
I’m not really one to hold a grudge. When I was younger, I’d fall out with people all the time, but I just don’t see the point now. If I argue with someone, I’ll go for it at the time, but I don’t care five minutes later. I forgive people pretty quickly.
I won’t take crap off of people though. If someone does something that genuinely annoys me, I’ll just stop talking to them. I find it quite easy to just cut certain people out.
You know, forgiveness is something that used to be very, very difficult for me as a teenager. Even up until I had my daughter a little over a year ago, I used to hold grudges. I will be honest, for personal/family reasons there are two I will always hold.
That being said, the older I get the more I realise that most of the tings we tend to hold grudges for are rather petty, and really WON’T matter in a few months/years. It is pointless and weighs down on you as a person.
The majority of people I enjoy talking to are people I have never even met to begin with(other bloggers/online friends), and a few years ago I would have scoffed at that notion. I’m thankful for it though, because really seeing another person’s life makes you put yours in perspective, and makes you think that “You know, I don’t have a perfect life, and there ARE others out there that can relate, but WHY should I care that this person said something about me/did something to hurt me when there are so many other people out there to befriend?”
It took me forever, but I finally realised that it is not the quantity of the company you keep, but the quality.