Fear and other things

I feel exhausted. I feel tired. I should be sleeping soon, but I really want to empty my head. Every two days (sometimes less often) I write a post and I wonder if I really do it out of habit or if I force myself to do so. I really like writing but sometimes I scrounge around looking for something to write about. I don’t know why it is that I wait until nearly midnight to blog, what is the point?

I’m going to be a mentor for first-year university students. That makes me feel ridiculously old as a third-year student.

So I have found out that I have become insane in regards to Doctor Who. I keep watching the series 5 finale over and over. It makes me cry a lot, and I don’t know – I really like that. In a weird way. It’s really touching.

It has been about five years since I last followed a show on television. I was an avid watcher of House and Supernatural – they were definitely my top two favourite shows. Then high school and exams took over and I think around this time, I started enjoying web design more and doing other projects, and I didn’t bother sitting for an hour every week to watch ‘my shows’.

Now I don’t know how I stood the patience. I have never, ever been a person accustomed to watching shows and movies. I can’t stand it. I sat through Troy only to fall asleep and take a (or was it two?) toilet breaks… I can’t sit still when watching something, and I certainly can’t stand to watch it in the theatre. I like watching from the comfort of my own home, from a DVD or something, and often on my computer so that I can flick to another window and pause when I like, or even leave two windows open, a show on one side of the screen and an email on the other. Multi-tasking has always been in my eyes, just to save me from the horrible attention span I have when watching anything. I’ve been like that since I was young. Never really liked movies at all – which is why, when I find a movie I like, it means a lot to me.

Since I haven’t watched television shows on-the-fly for the past five years, I am now scared. Back then I dreaded watching episodes and I hated cliffhangers so much. My friends didn’t really watch the shows I watched, or they found some way to watch it online and watched ahead of me. I didn’t really get to talk about it with them and there would be no one to freak out to, saying “I hate that Vogler guy so bloody much!”

Now that I’ve caught myself up on most of the new Doctor Who, I’m scared for series 6. I am absolutely petrified that it’ll be this horrible ride I’m going to be latching onto for dear life. I was spoiled for most of the series that I caught up on – seeing as it was on television years ago and it was only in the past few months I started watching. People already knew what happened and I somehow found out, without really intending to. Finding out that people die or leave and all – yet I still cry when they do.

Spoilers don’t really have an effect on me. Perhaps they cushion the blow? But I’m absolutely terrified for the new series of Doctor Who. Not because it’s going to be scary, but because I won’t know. And I’m just not used to it.

Then again, who does know? I’ll be in the same boat as everyone else. The question is, do I want to be in the same boat as everyone else?

Comments on this post

Just think, not knowing will just mean any emotional impact that new episodes have will be more effective, just imagine how good that will be! That scariness might just add to how AWESOME the episodes will be!

I know what you mean about not having the time to be much into television shows (and yes I also do remember how much patience you DIDN’T have when it came to movies at the cinema xD) but it sounds like Doctor Who may be slowly drawing you back :3 Have you watched Torchwood? I heard thats supposed to be pretty good.
I don’t watch much TV at all anymore D= Not even South Park, which I used to watch religiously!

Hahaha! Don’t feel old! Just picture yourself as a suave young teacher, like Henretty!

Have a good sleep :P <3

Sounds so familiar. When I was younger I would watch series all day long, and now, I can’t. The only shows I watch are The Hills, The City, Gilmore Girls, Kell On Earth and Friends. Even though I love those shows, I can not watch more than 2 episodes at a time. I feel like there’s so many other things to do than sit and watch TV. Don’t like “wasting” my time. And movies: not a fan at all. It happens very rarely that I watch a movie that I like enough to sit still for 2 hours.

The good thing is that you’ve found a show that suits you! And I think that it’s well worth trying to be in the same boat as everyone else for a change, maybe you’ll like it! I am generally not interested in TV, and only watch shows and movies with other people, so I have to be in the same boat as everyone else.

I know what you mean I always end up blogging really late as well I just get distracted with other things
a mentor? wooot congratulations sounds exciting what will you be mentoring them on?
aww thats well sweet, i can watch episodes of things over and over and still get upset, I always cry at the very end of sex and the city it gets me every time.
I love watching tv shows and movies, although I do tend to do other things like you while im watching them, for example I catch up on my favourite tv shows while doing my ironing, I get two jobs done in one go. I also hate tv shows where you don’t know, like you’re a bit scared of the new doctor who. I like reading spoilers I hate not knowing, I keep doing it with LOST haha
I suppose not knowing is kind of cool, you get cliffhangers and things that make you go :O *shock

thankyouuuuu :) and I did mostly, a few people didn’t turn up which was a bit sucky but oh well.

I think it would be cool to be a mentor. To be able to look back and say yeah I WAS there and now I can help. :)
I usually have to watch movies at home. I love my fast forward button being snuggled up to my thumb or the subtitles to catch those hard lines.
I know what you mean about cliff hangers. My family has this habit of watching shows when they are over so we have the whole stretch of the show to go through. And the show Monk, that we did follow, didn’t really have a cliff hanger he just needed to find out who killed his wife (through all 8 seasons!).

Spoilers do cushion the blows! Knowing what happens in an episode before watching changes the way you feel when you finally watched it (as you know). But some episodes are so well written, so well performed that even if you know what happens, it will still affect you (as Series 5 has).

I think it’s going to be an interesting experience for you when Series 6 starts airing. I can already imagine you freaking out after a cliffhanger, hehe.

I’m the same way when it comes to spoilers, they don’t really affect me either. I didn’t read the sixth Harry Potter book until several years after it came out, and I was still surprised when Snape killed Dumbledore, even though it was ALL over the internet by noon of the release date. XD

After being nagged by my friend, I caved and watched a couple of Doctor Who episodes. I think they were season two episodes one and two, although I could be wrong about the season. The episodes were “New Earth” and “Tooth and claw” if that helps, although I don’t know if you’ll have seen them.

I had really high expectations for them after hearing so much good stuff from people, but I really didn’t like them upon finishing. So my question to you is do you have a recommendation for some really good episodes/seasons of Doctor Who to watch, because I’m sure there’s more to it than the disappointing bit I saw. And you’re like, my resident Doctor Who expert ;D

My main TV show loves are Being Human and Misfits, and I’ve been spoiled for the endings of both of these, so I’ve never really watched a show spoiler-free either. I think the worst thing about it will be that you can’t instantly get the next episode to find out the result of the cliffhanger. You’re left… hanging. Pun intended.

I’ve seen those. :) They are both okay; Tooth and Claw is better. They’re from the second [new] series, so I’ll have to admit they’re pretty old since series 6 is coming out this year.

If you want to watch… either start from series one (the new 2005 series, not the classic series; you should be able to tell – if not, it’s the one with Christopher Eccleston) or watch series five. There’s just so much of it. All in all I’d recommend you start from series one to get a good grip of it. Because series five is too amazing. I’m being honest. I’d hate for you to watch series five and not like the rest because it’s not as good. :X Haha don’t tell anyone.


Oh NOOOOES D:. Georgie needs to sleep more D: D:. *hugs*! Regulate your sleeping patterns! Rawr! You might get sick if you’re always tired :(.

Mentoring! I was considering doing that last year, but I couldn’t be bothered filling out the application form in the end :(. Maybe next year? Hahahaha. If I can be bothered with the formalities of form filling and what not this year. But I’m sure you’ll make a GREAT mentor :). And don’t feel old! You’ll have your bachelors while I still have 2 years to do on mine D:. I’ll be saying ‘fourth year’ next year while you’ll be saying ‘graduate’ :O.

Wooooowwww, like I said yesterday (?), that finale must REALLY be *that* good. Hahaha, it has me intrigued now, since YOU watched it so many times :P.

Don’t worry! It’s a lot harder that it seems to sit through a movie, especially when there are so many other things you could be doing, and we lead such hectic lifestyles sometimes. It feels so strange to just sit and stare at a screen, considering most of the time we’re sitting, we’re usually typing something at the same time D:. And omg, when the movie is CRAP, it’s even HARDER to just sit through the damn thing and NOT get distracted 🤬 !

Oh noes! I’m scared on your behalf about series 6. I LOAAATHE cliffhangers and what not. I need my spoilers to survive, otherwise my sanity is compromised. Remember when I read Shadow’s Edge and I didn’t have Beyond the Shadows? THAT was torture! This is what scares me most about when I’m WAITING for a book series to come out. What if the book ends in a cliffhanger and I have to wait forever to see what happens? D: D: TORTURE!

Let’s hope you can handle series 6. Hahaha. Or there are sufficient spoilers for you :P.

Good luck with it in any case ♥.

I think our mentoring is pretty… straightforward? The only thing that sucks is that I don’t have Facebook so I can’t join the silly little group they made. I’m already inferior to everyone… :P

I’ll probably make you watch Doctor Who one day. XD

I find it difficult to go through a movie while not doing anything else. I try and exercise or fold clothes or something. I feel like I’m wasting my time just sitting there watching. If a movie is crap I just don’t finish watching it. I look up the ending on Wikipedia… that’s what I do with a lot of movies actually. I was watching part of a movie with Brandon and I thought, “Ugh, I do not have time to watch the rest, so I’ll read the ending on Wikpedia”. If I did really want to watch the end I would have… but I didn’t! I guess it wasn’t that good to me then. I have read Doctor Who spoilers but ended up watching the episodes anyway.


Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of storage space in my room. My wardrobe is too small to put anything in so it all ends up under my bed. I could do with buying a set of draws or something to put my stuff in so it’s hidden away.

I can go weeks without blogging. I never know what to write about.

I’m the same. I don’t follow anything on TV because everything I like is on when I have college. That’s why I end up buying box sets of TV shows. I rarely ever watch TV anymore.

My brother is a Doctor Who addict. He is completely obsessed! I like it but I always forget when it’s on so I miss half the episodes in a series. We always watch the Christmas day one. It’s become a tradition now!

I find that I sometimes have to kind of look around for things to blog about. Before, I’d end up blogging about these things that I just ‘found’ and forced myself to blog about; I’d fine that those blogs were always pretty bad. These days I just blog when I feel inspired to and actually have something to blog about Dx I blog less often, but the blogs are better at least xP

I actually watch way too much TV and too many movies. Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday of Friday; I have a show/shows that I look forward to xD On Friday, I come home and basically shout out, “Jersey Shore day!”. I laavv TV XP

I’ve never watched Dr. Who D: Which is strange because it’s such a big deal to people over here in the UK. The idea of it just doesn’t appeal to me. But then neither did the idea of wizards in Harry Potter, but I gave it and chance and actually ended up enjoying it xD

I always find out about spoilers. I read the whole Pretty Little Liars series, and I knew absolutely everything that was going to happen; yet the books still scared the hell out of me Dx They’re releasing four more books; but I won’t buy them/read them until they’ve all been released at there are spoilers online, otherwise I just get too creeped out x|

i remember i used to watch house, haha he’s crazy, in a fun way (: i’ll admit i’m following too many shows, but the only show i’ve bought so far, and not just watch on the tv when it shows, is heroes (: i know a lot of people thinks “science fiction, seriously?” when i tell them i watch heroes, but the truth is that i like science fiction, and i’ve always liked it. just a bit scared to let everyone know.

i’ve never watched doctor who, what is it about? (:

i prefer watching the tv-shows on a dvd on the tv. i don’t feel comfortable sitting on a chair in front of the computer, then i prefer the sofa. besides, the tv is so much bigger than the small computer screen.

i listened to the song, and i think it’s cute! it kind of sounds like nevershoutnever, i like it! (: and i think music can change my mood to anything, it just depends on the song.

Same here, I haven’t been “following” a tv show in a long time. I usually start to watch something (watched House M.D. for a long time) but as the series progress..I lose interest, or the tv channels change the airing times and those don’t fit my plans and I forget to record the show from tv etc. etc.

Ah! I know the feeling of how when a final season starts to approach on your favorite television show! I was dreading the last season of “LOST” because I was so hooked into it and I do believe that they left out a lot in the show, but I dunno I really loved how they ended it (almost like Titanic where Rose goes back and marries Jack!). Loved that scene and still do to this day!

Haha! Yeah, I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep recently, but it’s all good. I can take naps during the days I don’t see Andrew, but like tomorrow I’m going to meet his mom (finally! and if all goes well; today when he’s out there helping his parents out). I actually texted him happy anniversary! and he scared me with calling me right away and I jumped out of my chair! I was so shocked. I told him that too lol. Yesterday was just a bummer, but all in all it was a good day. I got to talk to my old friend from Choir that I haven’t seen since my Sophomore year of high school (he graduated in the year 99). So we only had Choir together and I told Andrew that I used to have this huge crush on him, and my friend knew it too, but we’re still good friends though. :D. Heehee.

So yeah, what an odd combination! Lol! You and James, are like Andrew and me! lol. Fixing computers and web-designing! lol. 4 peas in a pod! lmfao!! :D. Heehee.

Yeah, my dad’s really strict too, but since I have Andrew, he’s actually really loosened up a lot, and just wants me to help out around the house and what not ya know? Since I am living there! haha! But yeah. I do ask my dad for advice sometimes like about the Virgin Mobile, stuff. He called me back just an hour ago and told me that their service isn’t any good. And only works in some areas. So I need to tell Andrew that when he gets home tonight or tomorrow. Or something like that. But yeah, we’ll see. I mean, it should really be up to me really, I’m the one paying for it, not my dad ya know? But my dad’s been around this for a lot longer, so he knows. But eh.

Yeah, that’d be really hard to get rid of your old posts from 2003. Wowie! I saved my posts but like a dumbass, I am, I saved it as a .sql file instead of a zipped file x.x ah well; live and learn. But I’ll be starting over with my new domain anyway. And I already have the layout made for spring! heehee it looks really good! I am really impressed with myself! I haven’t made any celebrity layouts in over a year, and when I do use an image, even if it’s just of me or me and Andrew, I feel awkward. Ya know? Cause I’ve been so used to making non-celebrity layouts.

Well; like I said tomorrow I’m going to Chino to meet Andrew’s mom and all 3 of us are going to the mall; and going to get a dress for Friday night. Andrew invited me to his friend’s birthday party in Long Beach! I haven’t been there since Prom night in 2001!! Wow! I was so shocked. Heehee. But yeah, I wanted to cut my hair but Andrew told me no don’t do it! haha. He got me a gift for my hair, so he wants my hair long. :). Heehee. But yeah, I’m so excited to actually meet his mom finally! And more of his friends! :D. So it’ll be fun this week! I probably won’t be spending the night tomorrow night at Andrew’s, but possibly on Friday night. :D. Heehee.

I always noticed that you seemed to blog very close to midnight; I found it quite cool to be honest. Perhaps it is out of habit though? You have been blogging every two days for so long.

I try to force myself to blog every two days, it isn’t going so well though and I’ve been blogging every three. Oh well, all the same.

I love it when a TV show (or something) makes me cry, but in a good way. I don’t know, it’s just such a nice feeling, you know? Not sure I could cry at Doctor Who mind. :P

My sister used to watch Supernatural – therefore, I had to watch it also. I found it a little.. silly though. I don’t know, I’m just not into those type of shows. I think I stopped watching my shows around the time I got into web-design too. Weee.

I don’t watch a lot of movies because like you, I just can’t sit still. I’m a huge fidget anyway, so watching a 3 hour long film drives me insane. I can easily stick a DVD on of something I’ve seen a thousand times and watch it. At night, when I’m going to sleep I put Home Alone on. I can always sit there and watch it all.

Sometimes I’d only watch certain shows so I’d have something to talk about with my friends at school.

I prefer spoilers sometimes. I don’t know, I guess I hate surprises so hearing what’s going to happen helps a little.

You could always wait a couple of years before you watch series 6. /ho

Oops, I forgot to return your comment. :P You don’t need to reply to this by the way, it’s getting quite long. xD

My mum doesn’t make her own chili paste haha; we use the Uncle Ben sauces because I don’t like waiting hours for my dinner. XD

James’ dog Keeks is so adorable! I love that dogs just come up to you as if they’re saying hi though. Sasha thinks she’s human, seriously. She talks back to you and everything; like a naughty little child.

AWWW LOL, that’s really cute. Rob’s dog Skitzo used to do that with me and him too. I went to see her a couple of weeks ago; first time since about September. She was still really happy to see me. I thought she had forgotten me. ♥

I used to think all dogs were the same, but they all have their own little personalities.

I actually never had that problem with my girl friends. I didn’t really speak to a lot of them on phone, only my ex best friend Ellen. But then she would annoy me and I’d just hang up on her anyway. “I can’t hear you.. the signal is breaking up….” my favourite excuse. :P

I know what James means; I feel like that too. Sometimes I’ll say “oh sorry, you’ve probably got tons to do” and they’d usually say “oh yeah, I’d better get on, cya later” haha. I didn’t feel as bad then. Haha that is awkward. I hate when people wait for you to go to the toilet, in any situation.

Hahahaha that’s not lame, that’s sweet! Me and Rob were the same; I was the same with Carly actually. :P I’m pretty sure everyone thinks we’re lesbians by the way we talk to each other, but we’re not. xD

Eh, I guess we’re all different? I just can’t comment on some blogs, baha. I can understand James when he says that though, he knows you so well so yeah.

OMG, I actually totally agree with James. I haven’t actually been “returning comments”. I’ve just been commenting on their blogs; except yours, because this is sort of the only way we get to talk a lot. :P But yeah, I’ve stopped doing it with other people, it’s a hassle to be honest.

Hardly any of my guy friends will admit they can’t multi-task. It’s annoying because I have to actually prove it to them haha.

I’ve seen a lot of talk about Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men.. I don’t really know why though. He’s such a funny guy.

GOOD MORNING, BTW. I’m going to bed soon, hehe. ♥

I’m not even a fan of chili. :P My mum freakin’ loves it though. When it comes to spaghetti we like buying the brand Dolmio. Their sauces are fantastic.

Aww I’m glad she was happy to see you! I hadn’t seen Keeks in ages, either, so it was a little touching when she remembered me too. :’) James says she likes people. Somehow I get the impression that I’m special though haha.

I don’t really mind people waiting for me, it depends what though. Toilet? Awkward. But it’s hard saying goodbye to anyone because it can get awkward if you don’t have a proper excuse. I often say I’m going to work or going to see James, which is true… but other times I just want to be alone and need to crash or sit on my own for a while. I’m totally not a social person. ~_~ I actually did some autism test and one question said ‘you feel like you need to be alone after a social gathering’… yeah that’s totally me. (And that was a random note…)

I agree. ;) I stopped with other people but I feel like we’re really talking through here, or like writing emails. We don’t get to talk otherwise! It’s just so tedious with most comments though. xP

Right… I should be sleeping… too… /ho ♥

Aww! XD Spoilers affect me a lot, I think. I like predicting the endings :3 I like watching TV series and movies (but I’m very picky, and most of the time I like watching Asian ones. LOL). I think it’s because I’ve always been interested in movie/TV/theatre productions. :3 Also, aww you like watching movies at home than watch it in the theatre? I’m the opposite! XD I get easily distracted at home so I prefer watching it there. I’m not familiar with Doctor Who XD I noticed that you mention it a lot. Well, I hope you enjoy it :3

I know what you mean. Ever since I ran out of vitamins, I never really felt like going to the store to buy some more. 🤬 It’s so expensive now days. It’s hard find cheap vitamins. It’s like $5 and up. /argh I tried to drink caffine as much as I can so I don’t get tired. I tend to get tired real fast. Even when I’m not doing anything. /snort Sometimes the caffine doesn’t work as much. /hmph

Something interesting always happen to me. I don’t know what it is. It could be about me, my friends, or something I witness while I was out and about. I can tell you this. At least more than 1 thing interesting happen in a day. Isn’t that amazing? The kind people we have to deal with. You just never know. Sometimes I find it amusing if it isn’t about me. It depends on the situation. ;)

Congratulations on being a mentor for first-year university students. 👏 Now, you can show them the ropes on what life is really like as a university student. Believe me. My first year wasn’t all that great either. I was nervous. It was like being back in high school all over again. Eventually, I got over it. Thank god. :D

I’ve heard of Doctor Who. I just never watched the show. I know we have the BBC America channel. According to BBC America on Wikipedia, Doctor Who is currently airing. I’ve seen the Doctor Who DVD’s at Barnes & Noble.

I know what you mean. It’s hard to keep up with the current shows. It airs the same time as the other shows. I barely watch The Big Bang Theory on Thursdays now. I’ll watch it from time to time. I have to choose between Glee and One Tree Hill on Tuesdays. American Idol and Survivor on Wednesdays. American Idol on Thursdays. I have to record them. My mom wants to watch her shows.

Yeah, I can’t sit still in a theater. I tend to move around in my seat a lot through out the movie. I have to get comfortable. Most of the time, I’m not so comfortable. I feel a cramp coming on in my legs. I don’t think I ever fell asleep in the movie theaters. I tend to change channels in between television shows when a commercial comes on. I don’t like commercials. I wished they cut that part out. If I watch something good, I have to eat something good with it. :D I tend to multi-task when I’m on the computer. I can’t just sit there and wait for something to load. I like to do other things at the same time too.

I love cliffhangers. It makes me want to watch the show even more. I can’t wait to see what happens next. That’s what keeps me from not watching it. I know the television show is getting good.

I don’t like to read spoilers. That just ruins the whole thing. I like to watch to see what happens.

I’m interviewing college interns tomorrow. you feel old?

Relatively, relatively. I’m younger than a lot of people studying my course so in actuality it feels a bit weird.

:/ My service went out. Did you get my comment on this entry? If not, I’ll try to remember what I said.

I wish I would have known about the 4 new layouts you have available before I even looked for a different layout! Oh well. I will look at them on a computer when I get a chance. :) // Your Doctor Who addiction seems comparable to my addiction to Grey’s Anatomy. However, I strongly dislike waiting for new episodes. ._. To be honest, it sucks. I was used to watching 2-4 “new” episodes a day on Lifetime. They were really just reruns… I am like that with Degrassi now, though… Rumor has it that this season’s going to be the last?! </3 // Yay on the mentorship! That sounds like something fun, even though I don't really know what it is? Ha. // Since I read the comment from you the day you posted it, I have been accepting comments only after I reply. It works better than what I was doing, and returning comments does not seeem as hard/overwhelming. :3 // = new paragraph, bt the way.

I just realized the phrases at the footer changes. Are they lyrics?