A Change of Scenery
So many times I have needed to just get out. I mean literally get out. I haven’t been feeling good lately. In fact, I have been feeling miserable. Things at home haven’t been the best. As I mentioned a few posts ago, we have relatives who will be staying with us for some time, which means that cleaning the house is not an option – it’s a necessity. I have not enjoyed this mundane task and to put it bluntly, there is crap everywhere. I honestly don’t know what to do when my mum gives me a vague “please clean up”. There are things I can move around and clean up and put away but there is only so much I can do. There’s not much room for anything, and since a lot of the stuff is my mum’s, I am unsure of where exactly to put it. :(
It’s horrid. I really do feel miserable, like this is yet another weight on my shoulders along with everything else. My mum said that I’ll be at home less because of my second job – well, obviously – and that I need to do more cleaning. Seriously. On top of those two jobs and doing assignments I do need to have time for a break. I would just really appreciate it if she could at least tell me where I could put some of this… ugh… junk.
I’ll be honest – I am not looking forward to it. And it’s pissing me off that my mum is making me clean all of this stuff. I don’t mind, but I wish she would be less vague about it. “Clean” doesn’t really give me much at all. I told Brandon and my dad to take their stuff out of the room and the rest of the stuff in the room was my mum’s stuff. I want to throw out a lot of stuff but my mum keeps saying to keep it just in case. I do NOT want to hoard anything anymore!
I am not looking forward to my relatives coming. God forbid if they read my blog and call me out. I’m sorry, but it’s just hard to take it all in. I’m going to be busy while they’re here and I’m going to make a shitty host. Most of the time my parents will be showing them around town and taking them to places. My relatives are from Indonesia and have never been here, so you can imagine they’ll want to see everything.
I have been rather stressed out the past few days trying to get caught up on things and sort out problems and overall, just deal. And yeah, I can do it, I know. It’s just a long, long road.
A while ago I was talking to my friend Ryan as we were on our way home from university. He told me that he was getting a bit tired of travelling to and from university every day. I agreed. It was pretty cool travelling right into the heart of the city, from the outer suburbs I live in, when university started. But it soon became boring. These days I can hardly find something useful to do on my train rides other than sleep. I have been reading books, newspapers… I think that perhaps I should put Invader Zim on my iPod. James will be pleased. /eee
All in all, change is good. I embrace it nearly all the time. Sometimes I just need a little change to feel refreshed. A new wallpaper. God, I love new wallpapers. A new theme on Messenger or a new buddy icon. Taking a new route to university, even. A new lipgloss. Heck, a new camera. ;)
With that, you always have to let out the old when you let in the new. I have bags of books still waiting at the front of my room to be dumped or sold. I have cleaned out so much from my room, I’m actually avoiding buying anything new at all. I’m even avoiding picking up brochures or catalogues for fear that they will end up on my desk and just become an addition to a possible pile of horrid junk… 😰
I just don’t want to be miserable. I’ve been crying a lot lately, just wishing things wouldn’t just feel like a great big weight on my shoulders.
I’m going to work again tomorrow. I’d better get used to this. /faw
Comments on this post
Seb
Boo, it’s been a while since I commented on your blog (maybe I should blog as well…). I hate when people ask you to do something but don’t give you enough details on how about doing said task. I think this doesn’t only happen at home, but in other places as well, like uni. I don’t know about our course (I usually found our assignment outlines had enough information to do the assignments) but I know some friends who have complained about there not being enough information about an assignment, and they don’t know what to do. I suppose it can happen at a workplace as well – but that’s another story in my opinion.
Going to uni… I don’t think I’ve grown tired of it yet. It helps that I only live 20 minutes away from uni, and that I can take either the train or a bus. But I can sort of imagine how you and Ryan feel. Certainly walking around the city (Town Hall area especially) has become boring. While we haven’t been everywhere, we’ve seen most of it, I think, so unless we got someone to take us to a new interesting place, there isn’t much new at the city. It’s even worse when you live IN the city, as one friend did! I guess it can’t be helped, eh? Maybe you could work on your story, writing on a notebook or something (like authors used to do before computers). Just an idea hehe. I usually use travelling as thinking time – either make up random stories or day dream about nonsense. It’s become an habit now, so I don’t usually get bored while travelling.
I think most people see change as bad. I guess as humans, we like to feel comfortable in our surroundings, and the best way of doing that is by keeping things the same. I believe that’s why people aren’t so keen on change, even though it’s actually good! I know because there have been many times when I didn’t want something to change, only to realise it made things better! It’s all about growing up I suppose. As we grow older, we start to notice the small things, the small changes, that keeps life fresh, eh?
I hope things get better soon. I know that’s not saying much, but I still hope things do get better soon. Just remember you can get through it, and yana. ^_^
Georgie
I always have thinking time on the train, but I guess it’s getting boring now because I feel like doing something and being more productive. I used to love exploring the city and walking around as well, and it’s getting a bit dull. Especially in photography class where people are trying to take unique photos and most people go adventurous in the city (where everyone has been, and things everyone has seen). That’s terrible for your friend. XD Though to be honest, I don’t know all that much about my area, or maybe it’s boring too.
Yes and you need to do some major blogging, dude. ♥
Lisa
I am sorry how you feel, I feel the same, only been back a day and been moaned at to clean and get another job. I am the same, if there is no room then how can you clear away? or even move stuff. My house is full up as well, we have 5 people in a three bedroom house. Does sounds like you need a break though. I needed one and now look at me I am depressed on tablets because my parents made me insane about work and pathetic cleaning. They back off a bit from me now that I am depressed but I shouldn’t have to be depressed to get them to back off from me if you get me? Being away does make you feel so much better though because you can clear your head and plan things. Hope you feel better and explain to them you need a break, wish I did before I got like this, be careful you don’t end up depressed too, its strange how easily it happens.
Lissy
you know the worst thing about cleaning is that you know it’s going to get dirty again. I find that so depressing. I put forth all this effort and then two weeks later it’s just as bad, if not worse than it was.
Nancy
Cleaning up the house is horrible! Especailly when there’s so much to do with so little options! D:! But just remember, the sooner and faster, the better :)! But don’t let this take a toll on you! D:! But you have so much to do :X. Hopefully, your mother will give you a hand somehow and somewhere.
This reminds me about cleaning up the band room.. Except that.. The job can never be finished.. Never.. And it just bugs me that every time I try to clean up, an hour later, it’s messy again.
But when your relatives come and you’re finished cleaning, you’ll feel.. Better :)! Just watch– in 20 years, you’ll have to deal with more! D:! Because you’ll probably have more tasks to do :c.
Change is good! Because you won’t get bored and tired of what you’re used to. You’ll just have a refreshed look in life :D!
Don’t worry about not commenting in a while. Heck, I do comments once a week and that’s already horrible D:!
Thank you ^__^! I always love to buy cute things :D! And other times, I love to see how random people can get :O!
Thank you (:! Take care ;D
Erin Nicole
Why do you **have to** have a second job? I mean, what is the point? For more money? To get out of the house?
I mean, if you can’t handle a second job that is alright..some people can’t, I know that I wouldn’t be able to right now.
I can relate to how you are feeling. I’m feeling the EXACT same way right now. I was crying yesterday because I was sooooo stressed out by my college stuff. This is my first semester of college and I’m doing it online which makes it 10x harder than normal. I’m also feeling very trapped. Because I’m in the house all day and night and I don’t go anywhere…I have NOWHERE to go…it sucks. I was planning to take my sister to the movies to see the Lion King: 3D today but I decided not to because my ‘rents talked me out of it by saying that it wont be any different. Also, I just don’t want to go.
It’s like I WANT to do something outside of the house but I don’t feel like getting up and doing it. Idk, I guess I just feel kind of restless right now…I don’t know what to do with myself besides sleep. :/
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No problem. :D
Thanks again!
Thanks. It wasn’t too hard but yeah.
Hahaha. Yeah. Sometimes I want Dante to be this “fantasy guy” who is the most romantic person on Earth…retarded. I just tell him it bugs me and then go on with my day. XD
Ashley
I know exactly how you feel. As you already know I work two jobs and the past week I worked 18 hours. With school, chores, and basketball, I am trying to kill myself probably. But I need the money and I enjoy both of my jobs. -shrugs- I hope you are able to work out your two jobs. I really do. I know things are ruff trying to manage everything. If you find a solution, let me know.
I understand the whole cleaning thing. I do chores at home, and it is just so stressful. Most of the time you clean something and than it gets dirty again. I know what you mean. It double stinks when you don’t know what to do with the crap, you know? It sucks big time for your Mom to do that. Just hang in there girl! <3
I need some change and I have been changing a lot. Like what I eat, how I do my school, when and stuff like that. Change is good sometimes and it sounds like you could use some. :)
I hope you feel better soon. I know what you are going through, and I know it sucks. I wish you the best. Just hang in there girl. :) ♥
Erica
It’s so easy to fall into the vicious cycle of hoarding. When my husband and I finally bring all of our leftover yard sale things to Goodwill, it’s going to easily be a few carloads of junk that will be out of our lives forever. Yay. Sorry things are effed up for you right now, Georgie my friend, I do hope everything balances itself out soon.
Stephanie
Georgina, you need a vacation and a break from your current life! In all honesty, I don’t know how you manage two jobs, lots of websites, and coursework on top of living at home and commuting every day to school. I have enough trouble handling my schoolwork and a job as a part-time waitress (at school) while I live at school.
Maybe you’ll love your new job and that’ll bring about some of the change that you need! I hope that everything will be okay when your relatives come. I’m sure that they’ll understand. After all, they’re probably all hard working people of Asian descent too.
Tine
yay! relatives who are coming over are one of the stressful thing you can have. i know that because when i lived when my aunt (I think she has OCD. lol), when she has visitors (imagine visitors only who will stay for hours)… she will really get mad at us of not cleaning the house. and when we clean… she will still tell us we did not clean which sucks! /oh how long are they staying anyway? :p
i’m kinda thankful i’m living somewhere near the university although i love travelling to other provinces. but i think if i’m going to do that everyday, travel for hours.. i’ll get bored too. /hehe
Steff
That would be so annoying. Your mum won’t tell you what to do with the stuff that clutters the house? Just pack it in boxes and stick them in the garage or something. I wonder if your mum would actually notice all the little so called “might need one day” items packed away.
I have become some what of a hoarder my self. It’s the old bills and stuff we are required to keep for tax that makes all the mess. I could clean and clean and clean, but would still have a messy house because nothing can be thrown out, including the little stuff my partner brings home saying “we might need it.” One year later ” no don’t throw it, we might need it.” Another year passes. “we might need it.” Then there is myself who refuses to throw out old magazines such as Cosmo, because they’re so expensive to buy; about $7 I think. Though I am proud of myself for throwing out all my unused make-up which I didn’t want from the start. It sucks being a compulsive buyer. :p
Are you still dancing? I have an acquittance on Facebook that goes to University and also does dancing. I think she just did some kind of exam to become a dancing teacher as well as a school teacher. Any way, she reminds me of you. :)
I start a Pathology Workshop next year and will have to take the train for over an hour each way (I refuse to drive to the city). I have no idea what I would do on the train. Too noisy to read. I guess I could get homework done if I am assigned any.
How long do you have left of uni?
jerminix
I also have that feeling where you have to go somewhere you haven’t been before, or do those things you really want. There are things which we have no control of but we to respond to this positively especially with problems. I know you can overcome those obstacles and continue to enjoy life.
Ayel
Going out will relax you.. GO!!! HAVE FUN! i do that when i need to. and when i’m stressed and i cuss my stress out hahaha! well that’s just me ;)
Sage
Reading your tweets and now this, your Mum needs to back off a LOT! What more does she want from you? Silly. I cop the armchair critic from my mum. Everything I say she knows better. I nearly clocked her last week, but if I had of done that, I would have been organsing my funeral …
Bottom line is this, you need to take care of YOU! No wonder you’re not well. Stress will make you really sick and affect your body in ways you didn’t realise so please be kind to you for maybe 5 minutes a day ♥
james
Maximum Herb!
Not much to see here. Tell em to go to the zoo, I guess. The beach? Not so special anyway. Not much to doooo
I just stare out the window, at people going about their everyday lives. It sounds lame, but it’s pretty good as a way to pass time if you have a good imagination. :3
Cheer up, Wugs. :)
(Y)
Catherine
I’m sorry about how you’ve been feeling. :( I do like it when relatives stay over (I actually have one staying over now and it’s fine), but sometimes it is a bit of a hassle. All the cleaning, organising; time tables change, there’s less space in the house. It can be annoying. But then I am the relative when I go and visit my cousins abroad. xD
I remember during work experience, although I did love going right into Central London among all the shops and the street performers in a lovely office etc – the train ride there and back was tedious. Much more work than my usual 15-minute walk to school, haha. On the first week I read magazines, but in the second week I literally just put on my headphones and slept the whole journey. Dx
I hope you feel better though – it definitely sounds like things have been pretty stressful. Hopefully things lighten up too, I’ve definitely felt just crazy stressed out before. D: It’s not a good feeling.
Lilly
Cleaning is such a downer, especially since a bunch of things here are my parents’, too. I usually just put it in a pile and let them take care of it.
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so worked. :( My house is never clean but it annoys me when my mom tells us to clean the house because she’s a stay-at-home mom and cleaning the house is, like, her job. But I do hope that you get to work things out and not cry anymore *hugs*.
We were actually learning in psychology today that instructions need to be expended on because saying things like “clean the house” and “do better” are too different between two people to be a valid way of making a request 😰
At least you’ll have a bunch of new experiences, probably, with your family coming and all. It sounds pretty fun to hit the town and get out :D
I hope all goes well :)
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Usually in American universities, people can switch classes all they want; they just have to keep the consequences in mind. It’s more chaotic but it might just be there to help people graduate. My schedule turned out OK but some of my friends are still stuck in classes that they didn’t sign up for, which is a bit of a bummer.
Aha, I want like 10 more domains xD. But getting rid of them is pretty hard – for me, at least, since I come up with some pretty weird names 😰 I guess it would be for you too?