Today I am interviewing Kev, who I know as web developer from the UK! We’ve had several chats over Twitter (you can follow him at @kevrowe), and I think he’s a humorous and interesting person, so let’s see what wacky things he says in his interview!

My name’s Kev, or Kevro to a couple of my friends (think Pedro). I’m 26, from Bristol in the UK and I build web things for fun and occupation with a digital marketing agency in the city.

I live for creating things I think people will love, though I’m yet to finish any side project. That includes my personal site; I am a web developer without a website. Stereotypically I’m pretty big into my epic fantasy and classic novels, the best kinds of escapism. Also Imgur, though I’ve tried to stop visiting it so much because hours just disappear. Recently I’ve thrown myself into mountain biking to explore the wilderness (or what passes for it in England) and would otherwise be found snowboarding, in the gym or somewhere around the world trying to interact with people from vibrant cultures in LOUD ENGLISH.

A giant envelope with a big smiley face is walking around on its legs. It also has arms. A giant stamp comes along, it’s about the same size as the envelope. What do the envelope and the stamp talk about?

They eye each other up awkwardly, unsure of how to break the ice. Spotting a passing human the stamp grabs them, licks them and throws them into the envelope; both envelope and stamp are elated. Vengeance.

Gordon Ramsay is a gummy bear. What colour is he?

Yellow. Also, he and Jamie Laing look so alike! It’s the forehead.

Imagine that you are in a world where everyone can read everyone else’s minds. What is your first thought once this situation is active?

Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts.

If you had to walk around in high heels for a day, describe what your high heels would look like.

I once saw a pair of blue, wedged, triple-velcro high-tops that left me verging on depressed because they weren’t available in a flat version. Definitely those, probably for longer than a day.

Someone blindfolds you and puts your hands in a big container. You feel something warm and wet and it smells so good. What is it?

First thing to come to me was some kind of thick, sour apple-flavoured, fluorescent green substance. Whatever that is, I want it.

What would be the best thing about working night shifts from 9pm to 5am?

Getting to the gym when it’s quiet and having a leisurely session.

If you could gain one of the following powers for an hour, which would you choose and why: being invisible, being able to teleport three times, or being able to do things at double speed?

Teleport three times. Somewhere in the expanse of rural China, Easter Island and San Francisco. I have no idea what I would find in parts of rural China, surely it would be fascinating! I remember seeing a “voronoi” (I didn’t know what one was before and I could barely describe it now) of airports and the most remote was on Easter Island, it’d be fun to be so distant from anywhere else in the world, I’d probably spend most of the hour here. Ending in SF would mean I’d be stuck there but who ever complained about that?

Imagine you work in an office, and you have a set of desk drawers that you store most of your stationery. You open your drawers to grab a notebook and a pen, but find your drawers to be filled with potato wedges. What do you do?

I close the drawer, wish for it to be full of rhubarb and custard chews and then slowly open it to find…

Do you lick envelopes to seal them, or use water?

I tend to fold greetings card envelopes rather than seal them but if I’m mailing something I lick it! It’s a strange taste but I’m sure licking glue never hurt anyone.

Which would you rather drink, pear juice or plum juice?

Pear. Purple fruit makes me uncomfortable because I can never remember which they are, unless they’re grapes. I know grapes.

Would you rather eat marshmallow sushi or strawberry spaghetti?

Marshmallow sushi! My mind is blown by the prospect.

Would you rather have long (knee-length), straight green hair or medium length curly hot pink hair?

Definitely green, I once had a video game avatar which looked very close to this. I also own all the green clothes ever because it’s a flawless colour.

What is a place you wish you could visit but for whatever reason, may not be able to?

Some arbitrary planet in some arbitrary galaxy, the possibilities of what may be found there are inconceivable to me and that’s pretty exciting! I’m no physicist/chemist but I find it impossible to believe that our closely observable neighbourhood in the universe exhibits even a small fraction of possible phenomena.

You are a stingray with a frog as a friend, what are your names?

Milau and Claude.

How many kangaroos does it take to eat a bacon sandwich?

Don’t be so ridiculous, Kangaroos only eat spaghetti.

You can catch Kev at:

• @kevrowe