Today I interview George Browning, who is much more than a cool chap. And certainly much more than a cool chap who plays drums. He currently plays drums for Brisbane band Velociraptor, and previously played for James X Boyd (and the Boydoids). He has some cheeky answers up his sleeve. Let’s shake them out.

Let’s start with an un-fun question. Tell us a bit about why you like playing music.

I guess I like making a lot of noise with my friends. Making noise is a fun activity to do with other people.

Another un-fun question: who is your least favourite member of Velociraptor? I won’t tell anyone.

Look, I think it’s fair to say that Lauren is the least favourite member of everybody in the band – Lauren included. But then again, Corey has tattoos of topless ladies on his arms and Josh routinely writes his own prose. So it’s not like there’s no competition.

Okay, here’s a fun one: if you could choose, what colour would your eyes be?

Boysenberry swirl

If you could collaborate with one artist, who would it be?

It’d be a collaboration with a Subway sandwich artist and it would consist of me eating sandwiches.

What would an elephant do with a pair of drumsticks?

I know that elephants can use paintbrushes and people actually pay money for their paintings, so maybe we can develop this question into a business model.

What is your favourite pizza topping?

I just reintroduced meat into my diet so right now it’s bacon.

What is your superhero name?

White-collar office man

You are driving a bus and a kangaroo is in the middle of the road, blocking your way. What do you do?

I just reintroduced meat into my diet so right now I would eat the kangaroo.

An igloo is sitting in the desert. Why? Or more importantly, how?

It’s the last dying mirage of a lost eskimo.

If you had to eat one of the following on a piece of toast, which would you choose? Caramel and banana custard; peanut butter and white chocolate; mustard and pickles; strawberry jam; Vegemite.

I’m a mustard and pickles type of guy – a proper sicko.

Would you rather drink a cup of paint or a cup of washing liquid?

I think the washing up liquid is probably less likely to kill me so I guess that. But then I’d have to ask myself, why am I being forced to choose? It sounds like I could be being tortured by bikies so maybe death is a good option for me.

Would you rather eat cornflakes in lemonade or Coco Pops in beer?

How good would Coco Pops in beer be!? It would be just like a chocolate milkshake only booze and a little bit gross.

What colour is your shirt right now?

It’s white. But what’s more interesting is that it’s got a picture of a hotdog skateboarding on it.

What’s a song you’re embarrassed to like?

I’m not embarrassed to like any song. If somebody doesn’t like a great tune then I just feel embarrassed for them in the same way that you might feel embarrassed for a person who says something dumb on talkback radio.

Pink or purple?

Generally purple but not when it’s my nurple.

Oink or moo?

Definitely moo. It’s a powerful, resonant sound made by a great and noble creature standing tall in an open pasture. Oink has no redeeming qualities as a sound and is made by an awful wretch lying its own shit.

Ocean or sea?

The sea is warmer, closer to land, and often full of interesting stuff like coral, fish, plants, and what-not. To even access the ocean you need a big expensive vessel and then when you arrive there’s nothing but millions of horrifying creatures lurking beneath you.

Woolworths or Coles?

I’m gonna go with Coles on the basis of those big red hands.

What is your dream car?

The car in my dreams has got 8 tentacles and it’s strangling me and then I wake up and I’ve wet the bed again.

And last but not least, what’s your favourite song to sing in the shower?

I don’t sing in the shower but sometimes when I’m driving around town I’ll turn off the stereo and belt out some tunes. My recent rotation includes You by Gooch Palms, Jeremy’s April Fools song Stallion Rider, plus a bunch of songs by Ween. I’m really bad at deciphering lyrics so I just sing bullshit instead and it’s fine.

You can catch George at:

• @TimeOutForFun