Things I Miss: Working at the same place as my better half

This is my last ‘Things I Miss’ post, because Tara and I have launched Timeless Thoughts, a monthly linkup we will be co-hosting for the same purpose! It will run on the first Saturday of each month, starting on 5th September, and will be hosted by Tara first. This post is a therefore a little bittersweet, but should not be misinterpreted as a sad one. :)

I’ve mentioned it in passing, but I don’t work at the same company as Nick anymore. Although it was a difficult decision, I decided to move on.

Even though I still work close by, I miss working in the same place, though not just because I got to see him every day. I still see him every day anyway. We hardly saw each other at work. We were never working together in the same team, apart from a hackathon (which we won first prize for).

We had the obvious ability to see each other, even if we could only glance from all the way on the other side of the room. We had lunch together and still said hi to each other while walking around the office.

As far as we were aware, there weren’t any rules that prevented us from working for the same company or from seeing each other, but we did our best to keep things quiet. We avoided talking too much at work, and behaved professionally until word got out, in the form of rumours or people simply asking either one of us if we were seeing each other. We maintained that professionalism as best we could. No one threatened our positions at the company.

I miss the people there a lot. There were some really nice people who were amazing at what they did as engineers or in customer service or in operations. Others, not so nice – I don’t miss them. The people I miss are people I still talk to, and I miss working with them because they were a great source of support and inspiration.

It’s difficult admitting that you miss people, because it’s the closest you can get to missing something entirely human. And sometimes, we miss things that may have not even been that close, or that have been completely out of our reach. I can’t say I’ll keep in touch with these people regularly or even a decade into the future, but they undoubtedly left a lot for me to remember them by, whether they know it or not.

There was something about telling people that Nick and I worked at the same company – something about it that was nice. In essence, it made me smile. I don’t get to say that anymore. The phrase ‘I used to work there’ sounds a little cold. I get all sorts of questions about how we met, if the company minded that we were seeing each other, or if they made one of us leave. They did not mind and neither one of us was forced to leave.

I just know that I miss it somewhat, in a faint, bittersweet, kind of shrug, like a quiet exhale on an early autumn morning.

Comments on this post

Aw, this made me feel sort of sad but made me go “AWWW” a lot because of how cute you two are! If I were in your position I’d miss seeing my other half at work too! My boyfriend and I go to the same university actually doing the same course, so I get to see him everyday and sit with him a couple of times. It’s really nice and I really do like it, for a month or two I didn’t get to see him everyday because we were working on separate projects so I did miss seeing him and passing him in the labs, I get what you mean, it is really nice having your other half there!

I can’t wait to read Timeless Thoughts <3

Awww. I totally get what you mean. I think it’s the feeling we get that our loved one is near that I would miss. It’s good that you’ve both maintained your professionalism :) I don’t know how I’d feel about dating someone who works in my organisation because the office gossip would drive me nuts . . .

Anyway, I can’t wait until we start our linkup! I’m so thrilled and honoured that I get to do this with you! ^^

I didn’t think too much about the office gossip but some idiot brought it into the office once he saw us together outside of work, which really ticked me off. We still kept it cool anyway and dodged as many questions as we could. It was none of their business.

I’m really excited as well! It is an honour to do it with you too. :D

Aww, this is really sweet. I’ve never had the opportunity to work in the same place as any exes or my current boyfriend, so I don’t know what it’s like. In saying that, I don’t think I could date any who worked in the same place as me only because I get really paro about gossipers. That’s just me personally, though, haha. I’m glad that you weren’t put in a difficult position for dating a coworker, though. That would have been hard, I think.

Can’t wait for Timeless Thoughts!

It wasn’t that difficult but once people found out, they did start saying things. We just tried to keep out of it and maintain that professionalism because it was none of their business. :) I think they saw that we could still continue working without getting distracted or letting the relationship affect our work, so it didn’t become a problem.

Totally sweet Georgie :) If I worked with my husband, I know nothing would ever get done. hahaha He loves to focus on our time together than work, still, Timeless Thoughts seems like a very cool thing. I would love to participate, myself. I’m sure I’ll have time.

That was one of the worries we had, but we realised it was important to keep working and that seeing each other was just a gift. We always had lunchtimes and travelled together anyway. :) Can’t wait for you to participate in Timeless Thoughts! :D

That would be difficult. I think it says a lot that you both kept it professional as well and were able to focus on work, without having the relationship interfere with that environment. That would not be something a lot of people would be able to do. Maybe there are some positives of working in different places? Hopefully things will settle and there can be a new normal. *hug*

I think one of the positives of working separately is that we will have more things to talk about. I think that it got to a point of bitching and complaining when we were both working for the same company. :P We still get to see each other, so that’s great. I think we are used to working separately now.

In my own experience, it was really gross working in the same place as the person I was dating. But it was a retail job and everyone was really immature, even the manager and assistant managers. Bear and I have worked at the same place before, though, but it’s never really an issue–at our university we worked at completely different locations, in China it wasn’t bad at all, and now we’re teaching at the same campus but on different days of the week. I’ve never even told the department chair or the division dean, although they know we know each other. I don’t think I really want anyone to know. I’ve mentioned it to a few other adjuncts, but they don’t know him at all so it’s not really a big deal.

It’s good that you have been able to keep it under wraps. There was general office gossip at my workplace which was quite disgusting (just going to say something like misogynistic here (hmm… more for another life-learning post)) but we tried our best to avoid being anybody’s topic of conversation. That said, I didn’t want anyone to know – I mean, I had zero intentions of making any kind of announcement so I let things run their course, which is how the questions started.

I think the worst gossip was in China but it was probably why we weren’t married. Apparently being together 4 years and still not married was a big point of contention. :P

I am totally not surprised. I was with my ex (who was Asian) for almost seven years. People practically expected us to be married by then.