Love yourself

I was surprised – and yet not so surprised at all – that an article titled This is the real reason you’re single on Valentine’s Day popped up when I clicked the ever-so-cute Google doodle on the Google homepage.

Today is Valentine’s Day, and unlike last year, we chose to spend it at home, away from doubly-priced drinks and meals and super expensive sold-out movies that are sold out because of people succumbing to companies’ commercialism just to make that girl at school feel special.

I began to read the article, ready to have a good old-fashioned laugh at the types of people that would be referenced in it, but I realised I couldn’t laugh, because it was not funny at all. It’s sad, and pathetic, that things like this make the news because such a large percentage of people on this earth feel some need to complain, whine, and sulk, or have a go at their friends who are in happy relationships, because – alas – they themselves are single. As if love was some kind of crime and that people sharing love with each other makes them sick and feel left out.

It started when I was young, even younger than I was when I had the ability to bear children, and girls would always want a boy to cuddle, kiss, make out with, and just do everything they possibly could. This vision is fostered in little girls all the time, so much so that they get disappointed when they don’t get what they want.

Suck it up. You’re nobody’s princess until you actually are, so enjoy the time you have when you aren’t in a relationship, and be happy for your friends who are, instead of being selfish.

I was in my first relationship shortly before I was a teenager, and it lasted eighteen months. Since then, I don’t recall a time I was single and happy. And it was a couple of years ago that I realised that I wanted every teenage girl posting any of the following on social media – be it in text, quote, meme, video or any other form – to shut up:

• Forever alone :(
• Got no one on Valentine’s Day :(
• Wish I had a boyfriend :(
• I want to hug someone on Valentine’s Day :(
• I’m so jealous of my friends who have boyfriends :(
• Burned my dick in the waffle iron :(

There were moments when I was already in a relationship that I realised that I should have enjoyed being single more. Instead, I was getting upset seeing other couples very much in love, or getting over an ex for an entire year. I had my feelings crushed one Valentine’s Day when a friend, whom I cared deeply about, threw my flowers back in my face, and in one of my previous relationships, we never celebrated the day. Valentine’s Day brought back ugly memories for me for a long time.

But we move on. Eventually.

In all honesty, it took me far too long. I wish I had enjoyed what life was like at the time, especially enjoying my own company and doing what I loved to do, going out and being free and engaging in my hobbies myself, instead of being a miserable sod. I should have taken the time to appreciate my family and spend more time with my close friends instead of letting them slip away because I was too concerned about myself, me, me, me, oh pity me, for not being in a relationship.

There were no life-threatening or concerning issues about being single. No drama, no weeks of dates, I didn’t have someone to love or spend time with or talk to a lot, which was sad – but wait, who’s the one telling you it’s sad? What is sad about not being in a relationship – the way we were born, and the way most people spend the first portion of their lives?

It’s OK. Being single means you don’t have commitments and you are free to love whoever you want until you find someone who captures your heart. Until then, love yourself, because it makes a whole world of difference.

That’s something I wished I’d done through and through. If I can’t enjoy my own company, what made me think a single other person would? Look at yourself, because you don’t receive as much credit as you deserve. <3