weeknotes #10: caffeine and lack of motivation
Oh my gosh hello. HELLO. HeLlO!!!!!1OEN!!1ONE!! I’m going to start sounding like a content creator by the way I am saying this, but I missed y’all. I actually missed writing a weekly update, and now I’m a bit overdue. I remember that back in the day, I used to think that if there was a gap of more than two days between me blogging, people would think something was wrong. In hindsight, that was really exaggerating, but I was known to blog every day, or every second day, at the latest. I was very online.
It’s funny to say that now, because we are even more connected than before, with our smartphones attached to our waists, yada, yada. Or in your hand, if you’re a woman and have no fucking pockets. 🙄 But back then, it was a big deal to spend time online every day. Oooooh the dedication.
I also really enjoyed sharing my life with the world, and since starting my weeknotes, I have continued to enjoy this personal style of writing that I feel like I have loved for a long time.
Anyway, explaining the lack of a weeknote last week was purely a lack of motivation. I kind of had a minor burnout after doing a bunch of work last week, and the week just gone. I wouldn’t say work has been busy, but the kind of work I’ve been doing has required more analytical problem-solving skills. Deep work. Whatever you call it. It’s like trying to do maths when you can’t do maths, kind of stuff. Then last week Geoff and I pre-recorded a bunch of Toast & Roast podcast episodes, after which point I was pretty tired, then my neighbour woke us up at 2:45am talking extremely loudly with some guests on the balcony, and then I just had this lack of motivation that dragged itself into this week.
Needless to say, I kept pushing back the time I wanted to write a weeknote, because I was so exhausted from work by the evening (and we were re-watching the Jason Bourne movies), but in the mornings I wanted to prioritise my exercise. Since getting a personal trainer a few months ago, I have been training at the gym less days, but that leaves me with the desire to go for a relaxing walk or do housework during the time I would have been working out with my previous routine. My weeknotes honestly don’t require that much effort, but as with most things, getting started is the hard part. Right? Right.
I had a chance to “catch up with myself” yesterday (Saturday), by doing some cleaning of our messy apartment, and just sorting out some podcast-related stuff and some personal stuff. I hate this notion of catching up with myself because it gives this impression that I’m like, hustling or some shit. And I’m against that. 🤪 You know, mental health and all that good stuff.
I actually feel like a coffee right now, but I’ve already had two today, and I feel seriously energised right now. 🤨 I am not usually one to restrict my coffee intake, but I am not a more-than-two-coffees kind of person (I don’t feel like I need it). I used to drink pre-workout to give me the energy to work out, but I actually stopped taking it as frequently, especially when we were still in lockdown and I had limited equipment so I didn’t feel like it was going to be worth it to basically take a caffeine shot.
I honestly sometimes like coffee for the flavour, and I’ve been a real dickhead and had coffee at 5:00pm some weekends, but I don’t usually struggle to sleep if I’ve had lots of caffeine, or caffeine too close to bedtime. Maybe my quality of sleep goes down, but as I’ve mentioned before, I’m one of those “lucky” people who doesn’t have issues falling asleep and have never had insomnia. By the way, one of the good things about this is that when I have insomnia, I know I’ve fucked up and done something wrong, or something is wrong.
Even though I am not a caffeine fiend (wow, try saying that three times fast), I still consider myself to be a little bit of a “death before decaf” kind of person. At the same time, girlfriend doesn’t ever drink decaf… 👀
Last weekend I saw my parents for the first time in a few months. We went to an Indonesian restaurant. Nick asked why I was so excited and wanted to eat Indonesian food when I spent 25 years doing so. I laughed and said, “Come on”. My mum didn’t always cook Indonesian food! I haven’t had any in a while, and I do enjoy certain Indonesian dishes.
So I guess, other than that, and hating the fuuuuuck out of my long hair, that’s all from me now. I still have to wait 11 days until my appointment, and I even cut off some of the ends already. I give no fucks. I’m thinking of going with something drastically different… nah. It probably won’t be a good idea. All I know is that I hate it so much right now and wish it was easier to manage and would stop falling out and getting stuck on stuff. 😤 I have complained about it at least three times a day at home, and Nick would have a hundred bucks if he had a dollar for every time I had a whinge about it.
You know what, maybe I will get that coffee. 😂