Being the better person

Bullying is pretty common. Standing up for yourself is less common. I can say I’ve been bullied through primary school and high school for various different reasons. I was always quiet, I always let bullies have their way and say whatever they wanted to say. My mother always told me, “ignorance is your best weapon”. It is a good weapon, for good attack, but unfortunately very poor defence.

I am sure that I have written at least a blog post or two touching on bullying, for the issue is not new to me. Anyone can be bullied for whatever reason. For me, it was because I was intelligent, shy, short, liked to build websites, was skinny – basically, everything that made me who I was as a person.

The reason why ignorance is poor defence is because while you can be ignorant to the bullying, and a bully might eventually give up because you aren’t succumbing to their harsh words, you are still not stopping them from attacking you. It’s like having a sword but wearing no armour. One could argue that ignorance is the shield and you actually have no weapon – but this is why it is actually poor defence: you aren’t standing up for yourself.

I wrote in my post titled Forgiveness that I find it very easy to forgive people and be the better person, in turn letting people tread all over me. But the thing about forgiving and being the better person is that it doesn’t stop someone from hurting you. I am not sure how long ago it was, but I decided that any time someone hurt me I would try and stand up to them and tell them to stop.

It’s not easy. It’s not easy to do it and keep your cool – and I have had my fair share of making a scene or causing drama. Bullying is always going to be bullying, no matter how much or little it hurts. I always start with, “I’m sorry, but that really hurt my feelings”. I guess in most cases, the person has the decency to say sorry or stop.

You don’t need to wait for a person to say the same hurtful things again and again. You can tell them the first time. You don’t have to wait for someone to turn into a bully. Stand up to them and quietly know it’ll be for the good of everyone.