Unworry

I miss being a child. I remember when 10:00pm was “late”, but at the age of ten my best friend called my home phone at that time and I was already in bed. I remember coming home from school and as soon as I had my tea (which was really just fruit), I had to shower and get changed and ready for ballet or piano; as soon as I got home I ate dinner and did my homework, and after that if I was lucky I’d play computer games for an hour, brush my teeth, and go to bed.

It was easy. I could be exaggerating, but it was so easy to have so many things to do. It was so easy juggling four or more dance classes a week, along with piano and swimming. I got enough sleep and I got to finish all my homework and I never struggled and I never stressed out.

I took a long time to shower. I took my time. I was also a terrible eater. I was picky, but I ate very slowly. I struggled to eat. For a while I’ve dealt with a small stomach problem, and as a child I would often take over an hour to eat my dinner and down my spinach and corn.

I remember my brother stressing out at that age. I remember him being temperamental and disorganised before he even began seventh grade. I know I wasn’t like that at all. It was when I was sixteen that things took a toll and I gradually dropped my extracurricular activities. I had an order. What I liked the least was what I dropped first. Swimming. Then funk. Then tap dance. Then singing. Then jazz. Then…

I believe that over the years, I accumulated a deep sense of worry for more than just my extracurricular activities. As many of them demanded my attention and my practice, often pushing me forward with exams of their own – or in the cases of dance; shows, competitions, performances, – I had to weave such events into my schedule. Dance school was like another school altogether, and the pressure to attend regular school for six hours a day along with all those commitments began to quash my ability to keep atop the homework tasks set daily.

Time and time again I worried that I’d run out of time to keep on top of everything. I can’t pick out the exact point where it got worse. My secondary school days are now – in my head – a blur of hastened friendships, relationships, and struggles with depression.

No, it wasn’t simple. But I remember once being unworried, then being worried.

Now I’m unworried.

It was Australia Day today, and I didn’t have to go to work because this date, the 26th January, is recognised as a public holiday. I sat at home for most of the day listening to the Triple J Hottest 100, and played guitar and painted my nails a jellybean blue. Not too far into the future, I’ll be working, I’ll be studying, and life will be just as hectic as it was last year. But briefly, I think about how having so much to do can be a burden on even the most organised, energetic person. I think that shooing the worries that will soon come my way will not work unless I put in some effort.

So much to worry about as an adult. Money. People. Education. Work. Responsibility. Yet I believe I have changed. I am no longer scared of growing up. I am no longer scared of time passing. But those are things that will doubtlessly arrive at one point or another, or that overcome me at some point. If I can keep pushing away the worries that haven’t arrived, then surely they will keep their distance.

I miss being a kid, being unworried.

But when I think about it, I too am a kid at heart.

Comments on this post

It’s like “I hate this post” is the magic word that makes me like said post. Or probably they’re just that good. ๐Ÿ˜›

I think we have this idea that childhood was easy, without worry. That things were simpler back then. But it wasn’t really like that, was it? I think it’s the curse of growing up – we forget what it was to be young. To be a kid.

Compare to now, childhood really feels like it was without worry. The things we used to worry as kids are just not that important when we think about them. Our worries grew up along with us. And now I’m getting sidetracked, hah.

I guess it’s these worries that get us keep on moving. Keep on living. Without them we would learn, we wouldn’t grow up. We wouldn’t live.

I miss being a kid, too. And lately, I’ve been missing a lot of things. Lol. โ™ฅ๏ธ

I’m only fourteen and I am so far away from unworried. :/ I hope to someday reach that stage.

I had to quit a few things due to stress and anxiety, but I’m okay just sitting at home. Sitting on my bed drawing, writing or on my computer is fine with me. ๐Ÿ™‚ It makes me happy.

Looking back, childhood was easy compared to what I am doing now. And I found that as I got older, both school and extracurricular activities became more demanding. Random flute playing turned into flute competitions. Random basketball playing turns into practicing with your team five days a week. I think that extracurricular activities are designed so that you can try a lot of things when you’re young, and eventually settle on your one or two favorites. In my case, I do martial arts and I play flute, and when I was younger, I played piano, flute, piccolo, basketball, ballet, ice skating, was a member of various clubs and honor societies, worked at the local library, and took six classes at once. (Okay, so not all of those happened at once, but you get the idea.) There is no way that I could keep that up now.

I’m glad that you are now unworried, and I think that once we all settle on something, we all become a bit more unworried than before.

Our memories make up parts of our hearts, so everyone has a little kid that burst out once in a while inside them. ‘Tis a beautiful thing.

Hey Georgie! Well; it’s okay to be late! I understand. I totally do! No worries about being sorry. Work is work as is school. (I will be posting about that in a bit).

I actually took a break off from school. We’re in our 3rd week already, and it’s killing me. I’ve never been this exhausted in my life, and had a talk with my Academics advisor and Student Affairs Rep. They understand my concerns on my health and past health issues that I’ve had. They wanted me to make a decision as to what would be best. And right now, saving for a car and then possibly going back to school would be an option. But right now, saving for a car and getting this stress taken away by seeing a counselor would be a LOT of help. So I took a break and will be for a while. If I do more than a break, than I will just pay the tuition off whenever I can or what have you.

I agree, being a kid there was less worries, than what we have as an adult now a days. We are all kids at heart. Especially when you have to play with a 10 year old. She keeps you on your toes the whole time. And I’m glad I had to take a break from school. I did to what made me happy. This was it. It’s time to pack it up, and just go on. I need to buy a car first in order to go back to school. That I have no idea as to when I will be getting, but hopefully soonish.

I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I remember very little of my childhood…I don’t know if that’s because it was so awesome *totally had Barney Stinson in my head at this moment* or if it blew monkey balls. ๐Ÿ˜› I think that remaining a kid at heart is one of the best things that you can do, as they claim you are only as young as you feel. ๐Ÿ™‚

Being an adult is such a pain in the bum. As you said, there are so many more things to worry about…although I cannot help but wonder if as adults if we shield children from some of those things?! I honestly don’t know.

I miss the carefree life of when I was a child too. For me, I feel like the stress piled on in high school and then continued in college. There’s just too much going on and too many expectations to meet. I’m glad that you reached a point where you’re unworried again though! I felt that way when I graduated college. Even though there’s more responsibilities as an adult, it helps that I have more time to unwind now ๐Ÿ™‚

As a kid we had less responsibility and there just seem to be so much out there, but now we’re confined into this tight little space of doing things =( It’s really sad, but I guess that’s part of growing up. You must be a great swimmer since you have taken swimming lesson. I don’t even know how to swim. I wonder if the future allows me time to even learn how to swim?

I have the worst memory of my past. I only remember little glimpse of stuff, but I know it was much easier compare to now.

You’re welcome Georgina. Oh I’m glad to know it. Yeah, I think through the comments we can talk. I agree with you. Being a university student is hard work.

I’m glad you’re learning new systems that are not WordPress. Yes, certainly.

Well, the last nearly three weeks I have been busy studying for my final exams, But thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

I agree, being a kid there was less worries, than what we have as an adult nowadays. But deep down we are all kids at heart. Iโ€™m glad that you’re now unworried, and I think that once we all settle on something, we all become a bit more unworried than before.

I hope you have a nice weekend. *hugs*

i just miss the cool toys that have come out now for kids. i think that’s why i always get on with little kids lol. i had a stressful time when i was a kid, i didn’t make friends easily after my accident that left me in a wheelchair, the kids always use to tease me and bully me.. im glad i’m out of school, i hated homework it was very hard for me and when exams came OMG i would freeze up when the adult gave me the exam, wasnt good at all.

I remember when 9PM was late! And now anything before 4AM is not considered late. That goes for some school nights too. Before high school my routine was get home at 3PM and then do my homework before dinner. Have dinner, play computer for an hour, and read until 9 or 10. Sleep for 10 hours, wake up way before I need to in the morning. Had clarinet and sports on the weekend. That was a good life. =(

I just think we have more and more things to do each year so all that carefree time just disappears. Unlike you I didn’t drop activities one by one, they all just stopped in high school because there was no more time for them. Instead I went to some clubs until 11th or 12th grade when there was no time for anything.

I don’t think there’s a reason to be scared of growing up. Sure no one likes it during the process but it’s not like say, I grow up and you don’t, and I’m scared because of that. I do miss my childhood but I don’t think my life is too bad right now. Well 11 hour school days starting from 6 in the morning and hardly any sleep isn’t my ideal life but I’m okay with it.

I miss being a child as well. I mean, I’m only fifteen, so I guess I still am a kid. But I miss being in third grade and being nine years old and having nothing to worry about. I miss when life was really easy, with no stress and no panicking about the future. Now that I’m in high school, everything’s about college and careers. It’s just annoying and makes me really anxious. O_O I’ve never really done any extracurricular activities because I either couldn’t find something I liked, or I didn’t want it to get in the way of school. I’ve done dance, gymnastics and cheerleading when I was really young, but the only extracurricular I did recently was piano lessons, but I quit because I had no time to practice.

I’m still worried about being an adult and I really don’t want to grow up. ๐Ÿ˜ž Oh well.

Being a kid might be hard when you’re a kid, but when you’re an adult looking back it was much easier. No bills or appointments, no having to go to a job that you hate just to keep paying bills you can’t afford to
pay.

It sounds like you had a nice day off work. I love painting my nails on days off work, but I haven’t had the time for that in quite a while.

Interesting post. I can relate. As much as I say, “I can’t wait for the next chapter of my life” (life after college), of course i still have a bit of worry about how life will actually be in reality…worries about money..job security..starting a new job..will it turn into a ‘career’..traveling..etc….I guess that’s why people say ‘stupid people are happier’..because they don’t worry or rather they don’t let those things get to them.. but i agree with how it was all less stressful when we were younger..even though we had a bunch of things to multitask! i can relate with piano! I took lessons from a young age up til i was around 13~ But yeah, overall, growing up is just part of life and I think facing it head on with an optimistic outlook is the best way! I mean.. it’s life right? Give it our best and i think that is enough! โ™ฅ๏ธ

Being a kid at heart is always the key in growing up. Being able to find pure joy in the smallest things. I am scared of time passing by though – but I think everyone gets like that when they know a family member has limited time.

I was just thinking this too ๐Ÿ˜ฎ only for me, 9pm was late. Staying up any later was just unthinkable! My mom always made sure we were ready and in bed by that time. Staying up was a treat and was 10pm ๐Ÿ˜† and now I’m all grown up, it’s a miracle if I’m in bed by 3am, sometimes 4am.

I didn’t have extracurricular activities, though just Chinese school on the weekends. Talk about booooriiiiiing ๐Ÿ˜›

So it’s been ages since I’ve commented on your blog! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ and my site on Bubble was deleted; I suppose because Kya decided to cut down on the number of domains and ensnare.org was one that was used very little. I have a tumblr now (look down!) but it’s confusing for me. I’m thinking of starting a new one, but I’ve been feeling so busy and bogged down with graduate school :/ being an adult is no fun! I don’t know if I even remember how to code and design ๐Ÿ˜ฆ and hosting… I dunno ๐Ÿ˜†

Tumblr!
http://pf-thapig.tumblr.com

Ah, it’s a miracle if I’m in bed before midnight. Usually I sleep at midnight and that’s fine with me.

Kya decided to cut down on Bubble domains and my guess is that you didn’t receive or didn’t reply to the email she sent about moving accounts to other domains… or maybe you were deleted for inactivity.

I have a Tumblr but it’s just… haha, I have a love/hate relationship with Tumblr. I had one before that got really “popular” and I posted anything and everything on there. Then I got a new one to start posting questionnaires and such. About a month ago I pretty much purged the whole thing, and my Tumblr (http://05th.tumblr.com) is where I post my current obsessions or people who currently inspire me. You should get the hang of Tumblr pretty quickly. ๐Ÿ˜›

I’m starting postgraduate studies this year, also most likely working full time. (Currently working about 4 days a week.) I’m pretty excited haha.