More alone

At the dinner table, I was silent.

I daydream a lot.

If someone were to ask me, “Do you have a vivid imagination?” the answer would be yes. Yes I do. If I try hard enough; if something means a lot to me – I can imagine it. Which is why, two days ago, I shut my eyes, I turned my music up loud, and I pictured myself at the Jebediah show. I was in the crowd. People were jumping up and down and their arms were up in the air. Kevin Mitchell was singing into the microphone and Vanessa was chilling on her bass guitar. The coloured lights went on and off. A glance to the side – people were relaxing at the bar having a chat over drinks. Mostly beers. Security guards were at the front towards the stage watching the crowd, looking bored. For a split second I wondered whether any of them liked Jebediah’s music.

I saw the coloured lights over and over. I moved with the crowd as they played the beginning of Battlesong. It was this amazing warmth that filled my soul – the music was pure, it was incredible. It was loud, but it was beautiful.

“Georgie?”

My vision went white.

Far and away, orbiting each other… I hope you come around…

“Georgie? Is your phone off?”

I pulled my eyes open and shifted my eyes left to right. I was sitting in the car.

I wasn’t there. But I was. In my mind and in my heart, I was. In fact, it’s coming to my head so vividly I actually think it has psychologically affected me. I think I’ve actually brainwashed myself into believing I actually went, by imagining what happened and imagining that I really did see them live. I swear I was actually there. Except when I think too hard, I realise I wasn’t.

I love my imagination.

Earlier today, I was reading Jebediah’s newsletter, since I’m subscribed to them by email. They’re playing at a racecar event next Friday. I want to go. I wouldn’t mind spending the money, and I want to see them even though I don’t have much interest in cars. Boys in high school would talk about cars all the time. I wasn’t interested in the least, but I love learning new things, I like hearing about things I don’t know, so maybe if I at least take a car-savvy friend with me, it won’t be too bad.

Though no one said it was bad going alone. Except when I think about seeing Jebediah at all, I wonder if it’ll be as amazing as it was… was, in my head. They say nothing can ever be as good as your imagination. I don’t know what to expect. I don’t even know if I should go, but… well, I really want to.

Maybe I’ll pretend to like cars. Ugh.

Comments on this post

I know you emailed me about this, and I was going to respond there, but then I read your blog, it was about the same thing, AND it has no comments (or are you moderating?), so. ๐Ÿ˜›

I’m not sure my imagination is as vivid as yours. I wish it was. Even just the way you described it, it sounds like you were there. I felt like I could insert myself into the scene beside you and really… BE THERE.

The link you sent me wasn’t working before, but it is now. I think you should go, I really do. Especially since you clearly want to very badly. You could always get there at the end of the race, if you know around when it is going to end, although that might feel a little awkward. I would definitely try to go with someone, especially if you’re going to sit through a race you might find boring, although I think races can be pretty cool. You just have to choose a car you want to win and then let yourself get really invested in its success. ๐Ÿ˜› Of course, I’ve fallen asleep at basketball games before… /um

But yeah, definitely try to take someone with you. What about Lilian? You could have some fun girl bonding time over the race. ๐Ÿ˜†

I wish I could escape like that! I try to do it when I listen to music or write in my journal, but I never manage to REALLY get away. I try though. This post makes me want to take some time outs for myself in the future.

It’s such a bummer that you couldn’t go to that concert. If I were you, I would have went anyway and faced what was coming to me later cause for me it would have been worth it….

I sometimes daydream and think that what I daydremt (sp?) was actually real. It makes me feel good…or better. ๐Ÿ˜„

Hey Georgina!

I have vivid imagination too! I actually really like it… except with nightmares. Some of my vivid nightmares terrify me. Blood everywhere, spilled out guts sometimes… it is way too graphic for me to even sit here and contemplate about. It’s really nice to have a vivid imagination, it helps you come up with details easily.

I really liked how you described your vivid moment, it really made me feel like I was in the moment. I felt like I was sucked in to the picture. You’re really good at describing things! ๐Ÿ˜„

I’m like you, I daydream a lot. I mean, before I go to a concert I think about what it is going to be like, if security plans to be total idiots an d the usual excitedness of it all.

I felt so bad that you could not go. I noticed your tweets that day and then read them all – that was when I started tweeting you. I was telling my mom about it and I added ‘Just like how YOU didn’t want ME to go for that one concert last year’ – I used you as an example to explain to her how unfair she had been last year. I felt so annoyed for you, too. Ugh… parents, hey? So frustrating at times.

I say go for this now! Knowing me, I would go alone… even if I were not going as media because i tend to always know the journos or photographers there so i just hang out with them. My friends are too fussy to com with. Go with a friend and maybe grab a bite for eat before or after. ๐Ÿ™‚

Hello! Aww, thank you Georgina! I appreciate it. It is actually just my second time to make a poem. I’m glad you loved it โ™ฅ๏ธ

I do have a vivid imagination too. Although not as well as yours, when I imagine, I can't picture myself in the situation itself. It's hard. So I guess what you have is a gift. PS. I am not familiar with the show you are talking about but I guess it's really fun. More like clubbing. Or like going to a youth gig.

Take care!

Used to have vivid imaginations/dreams before, and really thought it was real. ๐Ÿ˜†
Kinda creepy and weird one… If only I can interpret those hahaha!

Hey Georgina ๐Ÿ™‚

I do that too. I love to daydream, it often inspires some of my writings. Sounds like it does to yours, too. I don’t know. I’ve enviosined seeing Aerosmith so many times and meeting Steven Tyler–my idol–more times than I can count and I still think seeing Aerosmith live would be…well, the best thing ever!

Hmm. I would bring a car-savvy friend with me. I’m like that. I don’t like going places alone. It just seems to me that everyone would be staring at me. I always do that. I’m always like “Wanna go to the mall?” Lol.

Oooh. May I ask what your book is about? It’s OK if you don’t want to tell me–I get that. My writing is extremly private to, lol. I’m putting it up on FictionPress.net though it makes me squirm a bit to do that. Might just wait and make a webs.com for that. I could put my fanfiction up that way, too.

Thank you! I’m a lazy bum. I didn’t do any exercising but in a good excuse kind of way I think I’m getting sick ๐Ÿ˜‘ But once I feel a little better, I do plan to start it up again.

Hey Hun. I have an imagination like yours all the time. I imagine myself in destinations I probably can’t even afford to go to right now but doing these imaginary trips are quite fun indeed. Have to agree with you on the fact that imagination does rock. Without it my life would definitely be very boring.

I daydream a lot too. I think it’s one thing you never get too old to do – or at least that’s how I feel about it. When I missed one of the first White Wives shows at the end of 2010, I daydreamed about how great it was…and when I finally did seem them it was SO much better then what I seen in my mind. Whenever I miss a show, I always think about it for weeks after.

I tend to daydream a whole lot too, but they are usually about my story plots, and most of the time I am not in them. The only thing is, my day dreams are usually mute, but very vibrant in colors. Same goes for my dreams. It tends to get in the way, because I daydream throughout class and I sometimes miss important lectures ๐Ÿ˜›

I liked how you wrote down your daydream, very descriptive. Do you write?

I just read this blog like it was one of Meg Cabot’s novels. ๐Ÿ˜„ Nice writing.
I know what you mean about a vivid imagination. Whenever I imagine something so real that, for a second I actually think it is real, it freaks me out. I stop myself because I’m afraid of becoming schizophrenic or something. ๐Ÿ™‚ I really should get over myself.
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Thanks Georgina. ๐Ÿ™‚

I read about your post on how you couldn’t go to the concert, that sucks. But I do hope you’d be able to go this car-racing event. I have to admit, I don’t enjoy car races, but if my idol is going to be there and that’s the only chance I can ever have to see him in person, I’d go. ๐Ÿ™‚ Though I suggest get someone to go with you and it’s better if that someone knows a few things about car races because you can always ask the person if you get bored or something. ๐Ÿ˜†

Vivid imagination eh? I think I have it, though it doesn’t happen often. But when it does, it always leaves behind this surreal feeling inside me. It can be wonderful (or horrifying, depends on what the imagination is) but the moment I realise it’s just an imagination (or dream), it’s rather disappointing. Haha.

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Thank you, but my handwriting is really bad (my teacher hated it and once threw my book to the floor and insulted me).
Yeah, I am glad I’ve finally spilled it all out and came forth with it. ๐Ÿ˜„