Love yourself

I was surprised – and yet not so surprised at all – that an article titled This is the real reason you’re single on Valentine’s Day popped up when I clicked the ever-so-cute Google doodle on the Google homepage.

One variant of the Google doodle.
A tissue box and a toilet roll, aw.

Today is Valentine’s Day, and unlike last year, we chose to spend it at home, away from doubly-priced drinks and meals and super expensive sold-out movies that are sold out because of people succumbing to companies’ commercialism just to make that girl at school feel special.

I began to read the article, ready to have a good old-fashioned laugh at the types of people that would be referenced in it, but I realised I couldn’t laugh, because it was not funny at all. It’s sad, and pathetic, that things like this make the news because such a large percentage of people on this earth feel some need to complain, whine, and sulk, or have a go at their friends who are in happy relationships, because – alas – they themselves are single. As if love was some kind of crime and that people sharing love with each other makes them sick and feel left out.

It started when I was young, even younger than I was when I had the ability to bear children, and girls would always want a boy to cuddle, kiss, make out with, and just do everything they possibly could. This vision is fostered in little girls all the time, so much so that they get disappointed when they don’t get what they want.

Suck it up. You’re nobody’s princess until you actually are, so enjoy the time you have when you aren’t in a relationship, and be happy for your friends who are, instead of being selfish.

One variant of the Google doodle.
A cactus gives a hedgehog/porcupine a heart balloon (I am surprised it does not pop).

I was in my first relationship shortly before I was a teenager, and it lasted eighteen months. Since then, I don’t recall a time I was single and happy. And it was a couple of years ago that I realised that I wanted every teenage girl posting any of the following on social media – be it in text, quote, meme, video or any other form – to shut up:

  • Forever alone 😞
  • Got no one on Valentine’s Day 😞
  • Wish I had a boyfriend 😞
  • I want to hug someone on Valentine’s Day 😞
  • I’m so jealous of my friends who have boyfriends 😞
  • Burned my dick in the waffle iron 😞

There were moments when I was already in a relationship that I realised that I should have enjoyed being single more. Instead, I was getting upset seeing other couples very much in love, or getting over an ex for an entire year. I had my feelings crushed one Valentine’s Day when a friend, whom I cared deeply about, threw my flowers back in my face, and in one of my previous relationships, we never celebrated the day. Valentine’s Day brought back ugly memories for me for a long time.

But we move on. Eventually.

In all honesty, it took me far too long. I wish I had enjoyed what life was like at the time, especially enjoying my own company and doing what I loved to do, going out and being free and engaging in my hobbies myself, instead of being a miserable sod. I should have taken the time to appreciate my family and spend more time with my close friends instead of letting them slip away because I was too concerned about myself, me, me, me, oh pity me, for not being in a relationship.

There were no life-threatening or concerning issues about being single. No drama, no weeks of dates, I didn’t have someone to love or spend time with or talk to a lot, which was sad – but wait, who’s the one telling you it’s sad? What is sad about not being in a relationship – the way we were born, and the way most people spend the first portion of their lives?

It’s OK. Being single means you don’t have commitments and you are free to love whoever you want until you find someone who captures your heart. Until then, love yourself, because it makes a whole world of difference.

That’s something I wished I’d done through and through. If I can’t enjoy my own company, what made me think a single other person would? Look at yourself, because you don’t receive as much credit as you deserve. ♥️

One variant of the Google doodle.
The teapot is blushing.

Reply to Kya

Comments on this post

Bless this post.

Valentine’s Day tends to go over my head and luckily I’m at an age when most people my age won’t complain about it for fear of looking soppy/a wuss or because it honestly doesn’t bother them that much.

I never understood having relationships when you’re really young, like 13 or 14. More often than not they won’t last. I’m 19, I’ve never had a relationship, and yeah, there are days when it kind of bothers me (because I know now that I would like one and am ready for one), but I’m not going to complain that I’m forever alone or whatever or even actively try and find someone to have a relationship with.

Valentine’s Day has always annoyed me because it is basically a commercial exercise. When I am eventually in a relationship, I am going to ignore it completely.

I agree with this post so much! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single, especially on that one day of the year. And just because there are couples everywhere celebrating it, doesn’t mean the one who is actually still single can wallow in despair. Why not just celebrate it with a close friend by watching a comedy? Or have a girl’s night in and eat some chocolates? Apparently, “galentines” is a new term being thrown around.

This year, because I’m in a long-distance relationship, I’m not going to be all mopey because my loved one can’t spend our 9th year anniversary (Feb 3) and Valentine’s Day with me… I’m going to just appreciate that we have been together this long by skyping with him because that’s the best we can do. And then hopefully spend sometime with my roommate for a “galentines” day.

If I were single on this day, I would probably see it as any other day because that’s essentially what it is. Love should be celebrated everyday and red roses and chocolates don’t have to be the symbols of love. Self-appreciation and self-love is definitely a pre-requisite for relationships with others, at least in my book, but sometimes people don’t really realize that until after a terrible break-up or something of that nature.

Bless this post. I totally agree with you — being single doesn’t make one unhappy. It’s actually a great time to explore and be happy with yourself!

I think being single is fine but looking for a relationship to validate your existence if you’re unhappy with yourself. Your self worth and love comes only from you. Only you and I wish my own mother understood this. Sometimes people don’t, but at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and things you’ve done. That’s the hard thing I had to learn: to love myself. It has taken a lot of time, and though abuse and neglect has tainted me, I refuse to give in. I am a person worthy of love and happiness, plus you should always be happy to be single in order to find yourself and know the person you are.

I am forever happily single with no plans of actively dating anytime soon. Thankfully, it’s never been something I worried about.

I’m single. I’ve been single since December 2009, though I’ve been interested in two people between then and now. But it’s not totally the same as being in a relationship, I guess. Sometimes, I do want a boyfriend, but…eh, I’m just really in love with being single.

My Mimi is…well, I’m pretty sure she’s still not a total fan, considering she seems disappointed when she learns I’m still single. Singledom really lets a person figure themselves out, though. You have time to think about what you want, like, etc.

I think maybe…the media (e.g. magazines) and entertainment industries need to quit enforcing the silent rule that being in a relationship is the most important thing in their life, because perhaps when that starts to chill, the teens will stop being so melodramatic about being single? Maybe? I spent a lot of time in high school, and shortly after graduating high school, being in relationships, all the while still trying to figure out what it was that I wanted, which led to me entering relationships with guys who wanted who I already was, if that makes sense.

Valentine’s Day’s basically ‘Worldwide Love Day’…someone a person loves doesn’t have to be romantic; it could be family, one’s self…

Oh my god, all I have seen this year on social media are negative comments about Valentine’s Day from people who are single. They are mainly from women and they are mainly derogative to men, which infuriates me so much.

I once said that Valentine’s Day was the day that singles made couples feel bad for being in a relationship. I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day anymore because I believe that if you love someone then you should celebrate that throughout the year and not just on one day. And also, you don’t need to spend money to show affection. I lovely as it is to receive flowers I’d be just as happy with a hug. My mum says I’m cynical but I’d say I’m sensible!

I love this post! It’s good to have an at-home date, especially when you’re spending time together and enjoying the moment. I remembered when I was single, I didn’t feel the need to go complain about being single. It is what it is and ~the time will come~. There’s nothing wrong with being single or in a relationship. There are plenty to do when you’re single and I agree with what you’re saying!

I think the biggest letdown for me is when people are upset over other people’s happiness. Happiness can come from all sorts of places and positions (single or taken). It’s up to ourselves to make the best out of the situation and go on with our lives @___@.

I love this post for a lot of reasons, but mostly because of the “love yourself” message. In a few weeks I turn 19 and am currently in a happy and loving relationship that has its ups and downs, but is based heavily on communication and trust — which is what I’ve always wanted out of a relationship.

Prior to this I’d been single for quite some time, and during that time I was in high school which is prime time for people to hop from boyfriend/girlfriend to boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s like no one can be single for longer than 2 or 3 weeks before they’re dating a new person. I had a “high school boyfriend” and it was a terrible mess, but I’m glad it happened because it taught me a few things. Number one of which was that I didn’t mind being alone. I didn’t need a relationship to complete me because I was fine doing my own thing, my own hobbies, etc.

One way I made Valentine’s Day a day of focusing on me and things that make me happy is I made it into a friends/family day. I’d spend the day with my parents and go out to lunch with them, and then my best friend and I would do a movie and dinner. It was a great way to stay off of social media and grow close with people important to me! This year I did Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend, but even then I stayed off of social media and focused on us. No outside influences or negative energies (in the form of “ugh I wish I had a boyfriend” posts). It was a great day, and I’m glad I spent those years alone and focused on me.

That’s beautiful, Sydney. I love that you make an effort to disconnect from technology for the people you love. I have to admit it feels rather freeing and I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything either. In this day and age it is usually seen as difficult to stop using your phone or laptop throughout the day.

You definitely seemed a lot more mature than I was when I was in school. I moped over boys too much. 😛

Wait, what? You gave someone flowers and they threw it back at you in your face? RUDE. Oh, wow! I can’t even . . . GRRRR. I mean, I got a card once from my most hated co-workers, but I just politely accepted it rather than just returning it to her. Just, whoah. ~_~;

I think when I was in middle school, I felt bad about being single, but not any more. Oh, no. If anything, I like being single, and I embrace it. Sure, I’d love to have a guy and all, but . . . I’d rather be single than be taken by a worthless piece of scum. Uh, no. I value myself highly to be with someone subpar. I don’t expect to be taken by the world’s most perfect man, as those don’t even exist, but I’ll be happy being with someone who truly cares for me than someone who doesn’t.

Honestly, I’ve no idea why people/media/whatever always make it seem like it is our ultimate goal in life to be in a relationship. Sure, human are not meant to be alone and all, but there are other ways to interact with people, and romantically and sexually isn’t a requirement at all. I’m quite content with my singlehood, thank you! 🙂

I’m glad you’re happy, Tara! And definitely proud that you haven’t been affected by the media. People might even argue that you should have a partner at your age, which I am sure you scoff at. 😉 It is definitely better to be in a good relationship than just being in one for the sake of it.

Happy Valentine’s Day Georgie! Hope you and your boyfriend had a wonderful time. ♥️

Here's a perspective that is mostly lost these days: Valentine's Day is a day meant for celebrating the romantic love a person has for his/her partner, not a day to celebrate the fact that he/she is in a relationship. It's also not a day to think about why you are single or celebrate your singleness by trying to prove you are just as happy being single. I have a problem with Galentine's Day because though it claims to celebrate the love girls have for their girls, instead what happens is that single girls make it about celebrating their singleness with their single girlfriends. A person's relationship status does not determine his or her worth, nor is it a label like "Happily Single". Acknowledging that is how to love yourself.

There's no need to make a big deal out of Valentine's Day if you're single. But it's great to celebrate it if you're in a relationship!

Actually, Valentine’s Day is on the same day as Singles Awareness Day, which was initiated so that singles would not feel ‘left out’ on Valentine’s Day. I have no problem with people who celebrate being single. They have every right to be happy as well. I also agree that a relationship status does not define someone’s worth, but if people are ‘happily single’ then I think it is a good thing – especially when so many people actually complain about not having a partner.

The only thing is, there are so many other days of the year how come Singles Awareness Day has to be on the same day? Some people do it out of spite for Valentine’s Day, which I think kind of defeats the purpose of acknowledging being single. There’s no need for anyone to feel left out! Happily single doesn’t equal Happily Single the label. 🙂