Keep Holding On

Lately I have been pretty busy with university work. It’s just been piling up in my freaking face, and often, I find myself getting angry over it. One night last semester, I kept James up until two in the morning because I hadn’t finished my assignment, and I just needed him there.

Sometimes I get that feeling that I need someone there.

As I already said, things are piling in my face. I’ve already tried to tell people that I am no superhuman. I have an offline life, and sometimes, people expect things from me that I cannot give straight away.

I used to be an organised person, but over the past few years, I’ve slowly lost it. Now I’m trying to pull myself back into place but it’s hard when people treat me so terribly. The littlest things hurt me and I am a sensitive person. I am easily annoyed, and easily hurt.

I don’t tell many people this, but I used to have depression. It got to the point where I was slicing my wrists with scissors and falling into a deep hole. I was feeling worthless at the time, and completely upset. Little things upset me, mainly with people I knew, and everything in my little world crashing down on me.

Now I have learned, that nothing is worth cutting myself. Nothing is worth the scars and seeing the blood seep out of the cuts in my skin.

I’ve found friends who can support me, friends who I can talk to, and I have found ways of releasing my anger. I have talked to my friends when I have felt down. I don’t have many friends – but the friends I have are amazing.

But sometimes, you have to do things on your own.

Some years ago, my friends and I were catching the bus to the shops after school, and the postman came by on his bike, putting people’s mail in their letterboxes. The postmen here carry a lot of rubber bands, because they come in handy for bundling the mail.

James likes collecting rubber bands, and often, rubber bands can come in handy.

We asked the kind postman if we could please have a handful. He gave us all so many.

I never really found a use for rubber bands, but sometimes, you need a rubber band, to stretch you beyond your limits.

But humans are like rubber bands. We are flexible and we have emotions that make us move, and make us feel. We can stretch to a limit, but beyond that limit, we cannot take it anymore, and we snap.

Many people are like that, and fall into a pit of depression. We are fragile, and it is our emotions that keep us alive, with feelings, that change. We are happy, and sad. We are angry, and excited. These keep us alive. They keep us going.

While we are flexible and can move around freely and go beyond our limits, we cannot try so hard or so often. If we do, we wear out.

Have you tried stretching a rubber band too much, only to see it loses its elasticity?

We are like that. We can stretch, but if we stretch too much, we tire. We wear out, and we become stressed.

Right now, I feel like I have been stretched too much. But I know, that before I snap, I will find some time to calm down, and talk to my friends to help me. We are all fragile, but we are all strong inside.

Sometimes, you just have to keep holding on.

Comments on this post

Wow. This is a very deep blog, but then again this is why I like your blogs. They have a point to them.

Depression sucks. I never experienced it myself but from people who have experienced it and told me about it, It sounds like the worst thing to have.

And that’s really brave about opening up about your past. I’m not so sure I would be able to do that.

I hope you’re able to get more organized. I’m not that organized either lately. My mind’s been on a million things. Hopefully, it doesn’t become so stress filled you’ll want to scream!

Very deep. I’m glad that you no longer cut – my own cutting scars are almost completely faded now (unless I look very closely). I haven’t cut for years though, I’m quite happy with myself for that πŸ™‚

And with rubber bands, it helped me to stop cutting actually. I’d have one around my wrist and just snap it against myself whenever I felt the urge to cut. It seemed to help, since I stopped cutting after that. πŸ™‚ Don’t worry too much about what anyone says. I got an email that I read Saturday morning from a reader asking me if I was “okay” because I didn’t post on Friday… Some people are just silly.

hahah same! I dont usually have a problem with the legs, somtimes, but mostly the width, and sometimes the height πŸ˜†

hahaha. I have ancient ones. I have one with a huge star buckle on it, and I hated it. The points of the stars would stab me in the stomach when I bent down πŸ˜†D I reminded myself of a cowboy LOL

Hahah oh yes. I am πŸ˜„
and yea, I get called by my nickname more by my friends so I’m okay with teachers calling me amanda πŸ˜† teachers, and some parents 😝

lmao. the police here suckkk *checks for any police nearby* πŸ˜† no offense to them, but they only do good jobs at arresting people lol and catching people who speed πŸ˜†

Just hold on tight. Uni sounds so stressful. It was for me and i didn’t even take uni seriously.

try not to let it build up. When your course is over you can relax a bit. My dad had a stress ball and he said it worked. Better then taking up smoking like me.

You don’t need to reply to this comment. I always tell you lol.
I’m just hear for support. 😘 One less thing to do in your busy life.

I might not be your friend but your my friend (if that makes sense) and im glad you have a lot of friends for you. I don’t have any offline. There all in Perth. So here in Melbourne if im upset and my boyfriends being a jerk i have no one to go to.

I used to be strong until my dad passed away now i fall to bits over every little thing. I’m also so soft hearted with every thing. finding Nemo made me cry 😭

Collecting rubber bands? Iv never herd of such a thing. I collect hair ties and bobby pins.

Keep your head up high and if you realy feel the need speak to your doctor. I did and he gave me anti depressant pills. This was a long time ago, they really did work. I smiled all the time and nothing made me upset. Make sure James and all your friends no exactly how you feel and how much stress you are going through so they can be more supportive. 🌹

hahah same! I dont usually have a problem with the legs, somtimes, but mostly the width, and sometimes the height πŸ˜†

hahaha. I have ancient ones. I have one with a huge star buckle on it, and I hated it. The points of the stars would stab me in the stomach when I bent down πŸ˜†D I reminded myself of a cowboy LOL

Hahah oh yes. I am πŸ˜„
and yea, I get called by my nickname more by my friends so I’m okay with teachers calling me amanda πŸ˜† teachers, and some parents 😝

lmao. the police here suckkk *checks for any police nearby* πŸ˜† no offense to them, but they only do good jobs at arresting people lol and catching people who speed πŸ˜†

Ayyyyy almost forgot! WHOAAA you spoke some hard core words πŸ˜„ I think I’ve heard that kind of message somewhere πŸ˜† I dont know though, but its a good message. I am a very sensitive person too, someone tells me that I got a question wrong, and I feel sad for the rest of the day. [I know, I am a loser] Someone tells me that they are mad at me and I cry for the night wondering how I can make it better. I do not take criticism very well. I get very upset with it, even though I know its for the better. Hahah the mailman seem nice πŸ˜„ πŸ˜†

sorrry for leaving 2 comments, [and now a 3rd, you can delete the first comment I left] it was an accident! I was meaning to add a response to your blog on it, but then I clicked submit and i was like NOOOO!! πŸ˜† sorryyy

Sigh. Unfortunately, I can really relate to your situation. I mean, obviously I don’t get even half the work you must get, but I understand about having it all pile up. I’m really tired of getting nagged about my homework, nagged about my exams, assignments, my room, my anti-social personality, my dislike of exercising. It’s really annoying.
I used to be really organised and neat; at my old school, it was honestly what I was known for. When my friends were asked who the smartest person they knew was, I was that person. And I loved it. ‘Neat freak’, to me, was kind of a compliment- I took so much pride in my neatness and my straight A’s.
But now I feel like an old rubber band. I don’t try anymore. I try to be motivated, but not knowing anyone in a giant high school isn’t the best thing in the world. I’ve made friends, sure, but nothing like the amazing friends I had at my old school. I barely see them anymore because they live across town.

I’d just like to say how incredibly brave you are. I would never be able to admit to doing something like that on a blog. I was really depressed at the start of this year, but I didn’t cut my wrists. I felt worthless and stupid and ugly, but I don’t know. I never actually thought of physically harming myself. More or less, I took it out on my loved ones, and on myself emotionally. I’ve never been so run-down and depressed in my entire life.

There’s a song by JB which I keep quoting. They just keep repeating ‘hold on’ throughout the whole song. It reminds me that even when things are tough, even when we feel like the whole world is on our shoulders, we just gotta hold on. I’ve always believed that God never gives us more than we can handle. πŸ˜‰

This is a really painful blog. It makes me think about how far I would really go inside this trap, it tears me up just thinking about how it affects my friends and family.

You’ve told me about the cutting. I’ve bit myself a few times when I just couldn’t take it anymore, then I just stare at the deep marks being soaked in my tears and sit on my bed with my puppy on my lap.
Sometimes I feel like he knows what’s going on. Sometimes I feel like he is protecting me from myself.

I’ve also been very violent with my friends and my mind became really dense, so dense that I couldn’t figure out what I was trying to do.

When depression struck me just recently, I never stopped crying. I cry all the time, I’m crying right now. The music I listen to reminds me of painful things, not just a sour tune.

At school, I just sit far, far away from everyone. I never want anyone to see my tears. They wouldn’t know what’s going on and would just tease me or tell the teachers and make it all a big ordeal.

It’s all because of how people treat me. It’s like if I’m just a spare wheel, the last wheel that anybody would ever want to use. Just a rotten piece of junk that’s too disgusting to touch.
Nobody appreciates me and they think I’m a useless child. I’ve never thought about myself this way, but it’s really getting to me and I couldn’t stop it.

When someone saw me cry, they just stopped by, scowled, and walked away. I’m not telling anyone who it was, but I’m sure that the person was meant to be someone really responsible for me. Not just a friend.

Just as you mentioned, sometimes you have to do things on your own. But I’m going to do everything. On my own.
I don’t want to drag anybody down with me.

Hope you get all your work finished, take your time. πŸ™‚

Aww.. Georgina, it’s okay. Life has all the ups and downs. You can be very disappointed at times and you can be very proud of yourself either. Life is never fair, really. We just have to work hard. But then again, working too hard isn’t the best, like you mentioned about the rubber bands.

I agree, we are like rubber bands sometimes. Don’t try too hard on yourself. Just don’t be too harsh. It actually isn’t completely your fault really. Some people just won’t consider about you. Some people only care what they want so they pressured you to see new stuffs coming from your site straight away.

I know how it feels. Really. I mean for an example, some of my visitors pressured me to code my own layout as soon as I can but what they don’t know is the problem I am facing with. Those so-call professional web owners told me, “It’s totally easy. You just have too many excuses”. I’m totally annoyed. I have school on the other hand. I’m growing older not any younger. Sometimes I don’t eat dinner sometimes I do. So it isn’t balancing.

I hope all your visitors or other friends have clearly understood your situation. We all got worn out sometimes we need to fix the little tiny patch.

Don’t worry about cropping images. You were ten at the time. You can’t expect to know much about it . Anyway.. you cropped the watermark for school project. It’s not like you remove the watermark and showed them on the Internet.I can already see the difference. 😎

Yeah, so works I have, I don’t like offering with others as well. I only keep the ones that I think are too precious or very very special to me. Not that I’m saying I’m greedy or don’t like sharing but well.. some photos can be very personal sometimes. πŸ™‚

I used to count sheep before too but as I grew older and got tired more easily, I just well.. sleep? LOL.

Really? You nearly pressed submit? Haha, that’s actually fine by me if you or anyone else don’t want to answer the questions.. I only put them because I want their opinions/advice. But I’m totally offended when they only answer them without reading my blog. 😑 You probably already know who it was. 😎

Glad you love the shirt and other merchandise. I would die to wear something like that. LMAO. Like I said before, you totally deserve them since you earn them. πŸ™‚

Ooops, sorry about those blurry ones. I tried really hard not to. I captured them with my phone as I find that using my camera is harder. You have to set a proper settings, zoom here and there, press this button and then the red button. Gaah. I’ll buy myself a brand new camera one day. πŸ˜†

Awww, metaphorical hole 😁
At least you’re okay now; that’s what matters πŸ™‚

Course nothing’s worth the price of blood. Look at those Red Cross Blood Donation ads 😦 sounds like a pretty miserable habit /um

LOL that postman thing was last year πŸ˜› thazoocute 😍

Ahh, that’s a nice rubber band related analogy (if that’s the right word) 😀

Gonx! Cheer up; you’ll get it done ☺️

πŸ‘

Aww you remember my story! Sort of. Falling into a hole.

Oh gosh. 😧 But hey, you donated blood and got lollipops (oops, I just typed lollipoops).

Oh, it was last year? I think I have a habit of saying “some years ago”. πŸ˜”

Analogy… hmmm. That sounds rather technical, actually. Isn’t an analogy like those weird general knowledge quizzes we had in the selective test?

[Woah… selective test… so long ago. πŸ˜• ]

Eg.
HAND is to PALM as FOOT is to ______

a) hand
b) toe
c) sole
d) feet

I was thinking it was more of a metaphor, though. Rubber bands! πŸ™„

I got 844 and I’m proud! πŸ˜„ OMG. Today we got two essays from our classmates (the teacher mixed them all up) and we have to blind peer review them. When I saw the essays I got, I saw that one of them had totally followed the outline they gave us, and I didn’t. The other one was written a bit like mine, but I’m wondering if the fact that I wrote pretty much an essay with nothing really in note form is a good or bad thing. O_O

This is blog is so amazing, it is explained so well and just made me think about life beyond the point.

Depression isn’t very nice, some of my friends have had it but I haven’t. It seems really bad but I suppose it is worse if you have it. Your so brave telling people about your past, some of my friends used to try and cut themselves with rulers but I think it was just attention and nothing like what you have experienced.

I’m not very organized either, I put something down and forget were I have put it so I have to search my whole bedroom, not very useful.

I can tell that this is a really deep blog.

I’m just 12 and I’ve carried a lot of weight in my shoulder. Sometimes it makes me stressed out, and depressed. I don’t cut my wrists because I’m afraid it’ll hurt me and all, so I lock myself inside my room and cry instead. I remember you commented on my plog; the one about my bedroom, and do you remember the board that I usually throw stuff at? Yeah I usually threw my acrylics there and wrote some emo text until my Mom saw it and told me to throw it away.

I want to be an organized. I’ve tried, but it is really hard. I’ve tried to make plans for today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and stuff. It just didn’t work.

When I’m angry I usually became violent to my sister. I feel sorry to her but it was hard to stop. Well I’ve stopped it though and I become violent with my keyboard. Now I’m losing the C button. Ha.

I agree with your metaphor about humans and rubber bands. They’re similar. If we force ourselves to do this and that, well, it won’t work and we’ll get stressed out. That’s the start on people getting depressed.

I hate it when people around me don’t care about me and what I’m facing. My friends are great, online or offline; I don’t have many but they’re all great. But what a shame; my family is the one who keeps pushing me to do this and that. I’m just 12 and they’re scaring me with those stupid things.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling too stretched out and all. I’m sure all people have felt it too. You just need time to think about it all, and I hope you’ll finish your works. You have so many friends to talk to, well, we’re here for you.

Yeah, I agree, Anne does go with pretty much anything. Amy-Anne might not sound right though, haha. Most names fit with it though.

You trod on your own dress?? Silly Georgina. My dress wasn’t long enough to stand on so I was alright.

That’s cheap. I thought it would have cost a lot more than that, band merchandise usually does. I’d have to at least listen to Armor For Sleep before I bought anything, or I’d feel silly for buying it. Even though the sheep are adorable. Must go on Youtube…

I found some bubble wrap yesterday, after reading your blog entry. I was tidying my room and found this make-up box wrapped in bubble wrap. I just had to pop it, haha.

My mum found it really funny when she saw the ‘D’. It stuck out even more on the sheet of paper I’d got. On that sheet there was only As and A*s and the D was right in the middle, haha.

I only said it to him ’cause most people got low marks. He marked us a bit higher than the marks we’d got but the exam board changed it ’cause apparently he’d done it wrong. Silly really.

I don’t often get the train, but I remember going on it once when I was stood right next to the door because it was packed. They should have a passenger limit really. It was so crowded.

That’s really nice of James to saty with you until 2am. Bless him. I’m guessing you finished the assignment then??

I really like this blog entry. It’s really well written, especially the rubber band part. Humans are like rubber bands. If you’re already in a bad mood it only takes one little thing to make you snap, which sometimes makes people seem like they’re over reacting.

I’m glad you’ve stopped self-harming. Georgina, you’re a great person, never let anyone get you down. And you don’t have to do everything at once, you’re still amazing anyway!

Hope you feel better soon!
xx

Craps. O_O Sorry for not replying to your last comment, it was marked as spam. >_< Probably WP's revenge.

Thank you very much!

Heh, I remember my dad picked up a chicken then I asked "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
He replied, "I'm gonna make it edible. πŸ˜„"

Oh yum, their eggs are the best. It's like free ranged, but just so extra heavenly. πŸ˜‹
I don't eat babies! That's just horrible! Chicks are too cute to eat! ☺️

My mom says that childbirth is beautiful. Even my dad says that, but how would he know? πŸ˜“
My dad is so silly. πŸ˜†

No way, I'd be too scared. I always fear that I'll lose too much blood when I bleed. πŸ˜›
I'll never abuse myself too harshly.

*hug*

It's okay! It was actually funny and I still laugh at it.
That's what the British call it, I think.

Beat people up with your soft weapons!

I must make extra smilies! I just love their shading, looks like custardy, lemonish, jelly thingo. Or just a yellow jelly egg that was squashed. πŸ˜›

Oh, I remember! Meyer's dumb repetitive description of Edward's chest.
Just plain perverted!

Hehe, your mum is true! Waiting is the most boring job ever πŸ˜†

Pushing will never end up good.. I hope you can take some time for your self and just relax a little bit. Don’t force yourself too much. You have all the time in the world and I bet your visitors understand it 100% πŸ™‚

Hehe yeah πŸ™‚ Though I was limited and couldn’t tell the story the way I wanted too.. I hate the limitation even more now.. πŸ˜†

Hehe, that’s pretty cool πŸ™‚ I am like that too! I once met a girl on some social networking site and she had the same lastname and we started talking and stuff.. though we weren’t related or something..

Haha, but they weren’t twins, right?! That would be kinda weird.. But it’s really such a cute story!

Oh Georgie.. *hugs*

This blog is really good! And I like how you described your feelings with the help of a metaphor. I can totally understand what you mean and I think sometimes everyone of us feels this way. Sometimes we just can’t handle the pressure anymore and snap – just like that rubber band!

Glad you have some awesome friends you can talk to and relax a little bit after that.. sometimes you just need someone you can share your thoughts and emotions with.. I usually just post a blog post or something.. Even if I don’t publish it – I just have to get those emotions of my chest to feel better again.

If you should need someone while you are dealing with stress or what ever – I am here. I am awake and have the time to talk. Don’t hesitate to ask πŸ™‚

Wow… just… wow. It makes so much sense.

You should consider taking a loooong break from all your computer-ish stuff. Except for school and such. You would be better off if you took some time off from all of your sites. Maybe a couple days and that should give you any extra time that you use editing your sites for your own relaxation πŸ™‚

Heyyy!

—> β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️

*HUGS*

We love WUGGS! πŸ™‚

Poor you! You sound so totally stressed out…=(

Mean people expecting too much from you. Mean, inconsiderate people! You point them out, I’ll throw forks at them [one in 10 will hit them. Hopefully.]

You’re totally right, if you stretch someone beyond their breaking point, they’ll snap. Don’t let anyone do that to you Georgie! They’re totally not worth it! Keeeeep hooooolding ooooon! (8). <– VERY BAD SINGING πŸ˜†

I'm glad you realised NOTHING was worth cutting yourself over! Especially certain people who shall remain nameless and shall hopefully be hit in the head with bricks falling from the sky representing the wrath of God. πŸ™‚

^ Meant in the nicest way possible πŸ™‚

Don't worry! You're still organised! Especially compared to me! It's just a little hard to keep organised when you have so many things going on =/

But it's alright! I have faith in you πŸ˜„

And I'm here if you need me πŸ™‚

Awww *HUGS* thank you! β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️

Hahaha pitchforks and forks! Well, it’s not really anyone in particular. I remember getting a lot of requests in my “ask me” section. People were requesting a lot of tutorials and things and that made me want to push myself. I think I have been doing that too much lately, and leaving my uni work till the last minute, resulting in… πŸ’£

That’s where I got the title! πŸ™‚

*cough* Bearman *cough* 😧

Haha, but even if you have a lot of things going on, it’s good to be organised. πŸ˜‰ We probably need to organise each other! πŸ˜›

YAY! β™₯️ 😘

I think among my schooling stages in life, my university years were definitely the hardest. Like you, people tend to expect things from me and these expectations really pushed me to the edge where I don’t think I could not take it anymore.

The uni years introduced me to harder and more complicated problems. I had a roommate who cuts herself too back then and I had to wake up every night with her sobs and tried to talk her out of it. I think when I got really sad and stressed out, I turn to my friends.. and alcohol =/

I wouldn’t consider cutting since I have this phobia of hurting myself. I would not know and understand how pain could mitigate what you went through but I pray and hope that you would never go back to doing it again. You’re a smart and beautiful girl, I can tell πŸ™‚

This is definitely a meaningful entry. Let’s hope that those people out there who are still lost and don’t know how to deal with depression get to read this entry πŸ™‚

Thanks for sharing your experience, Georgina.

this was a really touching post since i once felt like that too but for completely different reasons. it’s good that you’ve overcame it and i completely agree with you that we always need someone for us and i was so ridiculously lost until i found that person in my boyfriend. he puts up with so much of my crap and i think i take advantage of that. 😞

i used to like spam but now, it makes me very nauseous. i don’t know, i think it’s because i read something on the internet on it and now i’m so weirded out, haha.

here, if you commit to a contract, you must keep your phone number (and preferably phone) for an entire year or two years. if you break it, you have to pay a huge fee :

deep fried oreos sounds a bit extreme in my opinion, haha. i prefer fried ice cream!

This blog has so much truth in it that I’m rendered somewhat speechless. I love how you put your emotions into words. I’m glad you aren’t slicing your wrist now. It’s pretty useless the way I see it. If one wants to die, they could just let themselves be hit by a big truck or jump headfirst from a bridge just so they wouldn’t feel pain, not that I would do that anyway. Why waste life if you only have one to make all things you want in this world?

Cheer up. You know, rubber bands aren’t useless once they snap. You might see them lying on the ground, and would want to throw them to the trash can, but some people would pick it up and tie the ends into a knot. So you see, we can always stand up even after we fell, even after we have been burned, stepped on, and crushed. Sometimes we are stretched beyond our limits. People do understand, it’s just that they were unaware of doing so.

Pause for a break, take some time to stroll in a lovely park and let the scenery wash over you. I do that when I feel like I’ve been battered and need some time for myself so I can carry on. Sometimes crying and a good hug from your friends help.

And no, you’re not superhuman. You’re just… human. πŸ™‚

Speaking of being stressed, I’m trying not to think much about school or worry about it, just so I’d feel fine and not feel like I have a huge load on my plate that I have to consume. *sigh* Sometimes, I feel like giving up, but what good will it do? It will just cause more problems if I do.

Press on, Georgina! FIGHTING! πŸ‘ <– I thought this was a giggle emoticon. πŸ˜› Haha. πŸ’—

Awh Georgie, this blog made me come seriously close to crying. It’s so true and deep. *huggle* I’m really glad you don’t cut yourself anymore; my cousin did that a lot, see. It was pretty awful. 😞 The thing is that although when you cut yourself you may feel better because you are punishing yourself, but it doesn’t help or do anything whatsoever. 😞

I hope your uni work will decrease and you’ll find it easier to keep up with it. We all know you’re not really superhuman so take your time and breaks and stuff with the site, ‘kay? πŸ™‚
Knowing someone is there is the greatest feeling in the world. Because you know you are not alone and to be alone would be horrible.
It’s great you can write about this kind of thing because it shows you are over it. πŸ™‚

You are also right in the fact that we are like rubber bands; we have a lot. We have a type which is one wide band split in two, but there is a little bit that keeps it together. So when you stretch it it looks a bit like a cross.
Hard to explain.
I know what you mean about emotions too. Being able to feel emotion is something seriously human and gives us life and without it, how would we live? If we are happy and sad and angry in our lives, sometimes they shape our decisions and what we do or say, which means that we make our life and learn our lessons through them.

If you feel stressed one thing that helps me is going for a walk by myself. Mainly in the rain. β™₯️

Great blog Georgie. πŸ™‚ β™₯️ I seriously admire you. ☺️

Haha Solitaire? I hate the computer version (under Start, than Games for me). Freaking impossible. I did it once. ONCE. And that was when it was one card at a time. πŸ˜›

LMFAO. HEART ATTACK!!! β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️ β™₯️

Hehe. That’s kind of… sinister. :/
I always thought Snow White was the first ‘goth’. Pale skin, black hair, bright red lips… yanoe? πŸ™‚

Hmm, I’m a little bit confused by your comment! You said the backround is coming up behind the words? Well for my server the orange is coming up behind the words, right where it’s supposed to be like your preview! Maybe it’s the server that your viewing it in, it comes up perfectly for me, so i don’t know what’s up!

I know in the layout, you included a table for your affiliates, and I accidentally deleted the code! Do you think you could tell me the code to make a simple table like you have for the affiliate sidebar on the preview to my layout? I would like it for when I list the completed reviews, thanks for your time,

Ashley

You’re brave! Lol, I don’t know if I could work with little children. I don’t have the patience, nor the desire.

Yeah, it was my best friend. She experienced an emotional upheaval when her boyfriend whom she was in love with cheated on her–again. That was a very long day, but as her bff, I wanted to be there for her.

Thanks, I hope I do too. I need some new clothes and I hate asking my dad if I can have some money for them. It makes me feel way guilty when I spend his money.

I’m gonna download one of your WordPress themes and use it πŸ™‚ I haven’t figured out how to make them myself, not yet. Maybe eventually I’ll get the hang of it!

Wow, Georgina. That was deep. I totally know what you mean. I’ve never been extremely organized, but I used to have depression too. I didn’t cut my wrists, but I’d scratch my neck up and stick safety pins through my arms. I cried all the time and scared the crap out of my friends.

It got better with time, but yeah, it was bad stuff. I didn’t feel on top of things and now I know I’m not always on top of things, but I feel much better.

So I know where you’re coming from, Georgina. Don’t feel too stretched out ☺️

Georgina, I am so sorry to hear that you feel like this, I hope that nothing ever makes you so depressed that you feel the need to hurt your self again. If you ever need someone to talk to I’m always here.

It’s horrible to feel like your that stressed, and you have been talking about it allot in your last couple of blogs. You really need to spend more time relaxing 😴 and with your friends and James. Perhaps you can take a few days off from your site and have some fun with them, no one should expect you to be superhuman /type . I hate that most people think that people with a website have no outside life, some expect requests to be completed right away. It’s just impossible when you have to worry about school, a website, work, friends and family 😰 . If you don’t have classes on the weekend maybe you can get around to seeing that concert you were talking about a while ago.
β™₯️

Wow, this is one of the best blogs I have ever read on your site, Georgina! It really means a lot, and I’m glad you shared that with us [your visitors]. I’m still suffering from depression, but I know what you mean about the cutting.

Oh, and I adore your layout. The color combination is great. :]

Awh. This blog was so deep and touching. β™₯️ I have never experienced depression nor have I ever cut myself but I see why you might have a desire. I am glad you have moved on from your depression though β™₯️ Great blog. It really made an impression on me. πŸ™‚

That’s really cool! It would be awesome to have a penpal across the world. πŸ™‚ Too bad you guys lost touch :/ Sometimes it just happens though 😦

Yeah they are so cute πŸ˜› They are not like plastic they are sort of rubbery like eraser feeling like. They have a cow, clam, crab, monkey and er..other cuties πŸ™‚ I would lose them though πŸ˜†

Gosh, that was a really well put blog. It made me think alot. I like what you said about the rubberbands and how we stretch so much to become stressed. πŸ™‚ Im glad that you’ve found friends that help you out of depression. A lot of times I feel that communication is everything. It’s good to find a nice way to express yourself instead of cutting or slashing your wrist 😦

Yoga music? I didn’t even know yoga came with music 😝. I should try yoga, maybe that would be a good way to excercise. 😊

Aw, you were a cutter? I’m sorry. *Hugs* I’ve had so many points in my life, when I’d like to jump off a building, cut myself, take a pill, you know, get rid of myself. πŸ˜“ I’ve had moments like that…a LOT. My life has been hard and people not being able to realize it, makes me mad. I know I shouldn’t expect them to but it just made me feel alone. Nowadays, I have friends who I can talk to whenever I need, and it has helped me a lot. I pretty much said what you said in your blog. Haha, really we are so relatable it’s weird. O.o I never did cut myself though, I always told myself this. “There are people out there who care for you, AnneMarie. You may not know them yet, but there are and God gave you life for a reason. Don’t waste it now.” And somehow, telling myself that always got me through. πŸ‘

I’m sorry to hear school’s got you buried. It happens, and we all understand. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to, just remember that. 😊 πŸ™‚

Wow, you used to cut yourself? I never pictured you to be a person who could be so depressed, but like all of us, you’re only human.

I know, stress IS piling up along with work. But like you said, you’ve just gotta keep holding on. πŸ‘

i’m very sensitive person too. but i never think of cutting myself. just keep holding on..

by the way, i really like your layout and love your post here. i’ve add u in my blogroll.. and i hope you can add me back:)

Aww, poor Georgina! 😞 My marks fade in a minute. I’m a weakling!

Hehe, I’ll try. But I’m too weak to take an insult. Even the slightest joke brings me to tears.
It’s the way my parents raised me, for sure. I don’t like it.
Thanks, though! :3

I hide for different reasons. Kids at school (actually, there’s a particular kid that is really awful) would just come up to me and tell everyone to watch, while they tell me embarrassing things like how my mom is not here to cuddle me.
Sometimes I really do have vicious intentions, like what some people say, I’m a bit ‘disturbed’.
I liked my old school so much. It was always warm, metaphorically, no matter how cold it actually was.
I remember blogging for the first time, about moving schools. That time, I could have filled a bowl with tears. My school is the scrap of my area. I live in a rather good place, but that school is just bad. I’m going to high school next year anyway! β™₯️

Ngawweee (more epic impersonation!)
I will make it! 😁

Hey beautiful, university must sound really busy, my sister when the exams and assignments start to come in she stays up till 3am to finish one essay. Shes planning on becoming a teacher. SO heaps of essays.

Wow that was a real shocker with the slicing of the wrists…depression. I havent been through depression or dont want to.

Btw I’m sorry I’ve been inactive. I’ve just gotten so lazy and please dont take it in a wrong way. Its just i went through a phase where my site was getting boring. But from today I’m working myself to like my site from when I first got hosted by you!:D

Awh Georgina β™₯️ I am sure you will find yourself back to normal in no time. I just leave my comments for a day when I get all snappy because I know that I am not going to read their blogs or do a big comment because I really just won’t be in the mood to do that. β™₯️ Elastic Bands. I collect them too 😊 Haha.

Yeah, I don’t see the point of her having another domain, I think she should build back her popularity before anything, because after buying a domain and hosting for a site that no one will visit? Pff.

I have to get up early today (well, I did πŸ˜›) because my mums going to work so I am going to my nans 😞 Not that I don’t like my nan but she never stops talking.

Yeah, she should gain some respect. I guess she can’t after stealing so much, but that’s her loss. Haha.

Well, some people are really talkative! I hope she talks about something interesting.

I read the message on your site. I’m sad to see you go. You should at least co-own the site with Keelin. It might be more fun! Anyway, I followed you on your new Twitter. πŸ™‚ Take care!

You have written a very true blog.
It is true, so true. We are like rubber bands. We can get hurt at the littlest things. When people hurt us badly or we can’t take it anymore, we can snap and can’t take it anymore and harm ourselves.
There will be friends which you realise they aren’t your true friends. Maybe they know some info about you but not who you really are. Knowing your favourite colour or favoiurite song doesn’t help.
You don’t need to have a million friends, if you have one true friend who sticks by your side, who comes to you when you need he/her most, then that one true friend is more than one million friends who don’t know who you really are.
I’m glad you don’t harm yourself anymore, because if you did and something very serious happened, I might have never known you online. =[
As for your stressful uni work, maybe you could try a timetable? Although, myself and timetables don’t really work, but they can be useful to some people.
I bet you sleep with your pillow you ordered now , eh? πŸ˜„

Georgie β™₯️
You make me feel like crying.
I read your whole blog before writing a comment πŸ˜„
Before I go on, I would like to say that I am trying my best to not use emoticons.

Anyways, good luck with all your university work. I bet I don't have as much work as you though I did recently get 2 assessments. T_T.

I don't think I've ever been an organised person.
At least you have experience with being organised. I, however, have no idea.

Georgie, I hope you never feel like cutting your wrists again. It's not a good thing 😞 I'll admit, I have only tried that once but as I tried, I actually learned that I didn't really need to do it. Weird, hey?

My older brother went through depression. Although we were all depressed when my parents split up, he went through a harder time than all of us for some reason. And he also cut his wrists. I remember the time where I rummaged through his room so I could remove all sharp objects. His closest friend at the time (who was also my best friend) told me that he cut his magician cards into half(he used to be into magic tricks and stuff. He was really good. He owned like 7 pairs of special , pretty cards like those Bicycle ones) and these cards were sharp enough to make him bleed.

My mum found out eventually because he was always wearing his wristband which was usually worn during basketball only. Believe it or not, religion saved his life. That's pretty weird for me – I didn't know much about religion then but that's when I started learning more about it lol πŸ˜›

NEVER CUT YOURSELF AGAIN. If you feel down, your friends are everywhere. I have amazing friends as well πŸ™‚ Although they are mostly idiots I love them. I think friends are there for you to lean on even if they don't understand the situation.

I totally agree with your human – rubber band comparison.
Sometimes I feel like snapping. My feel-like-snapping moments come more often nowadays. It's such a shame that we have a limit. Limits just complicate everything.

It's pretty weird how yesterday I wrote a blog yesterday about me being a bit depressed. I wonder why depression exists. Ahh, sigh.

I think that I have already worn out. I've lost my elasticity.
I think that I may have already lost all my inside strength 😞.

Be happy today πŸ™‚ Or try to. *hugs* Have a nice day.

It’s ok, you know that I’m here if you need anyone to talk to! Yeah, it shows that your brave that you can talk about it and put the past behind you. It must be hard.

Yeah, just nothing really happened in their life bad, they just feel out with a friend got a ruler and started trying to cut themselves with it. The thing was it only happened a day and they stopped doing it until they fell out again. I think they were doing it for attention.

Aww, it’s ok. I had to comment because I thought I needed to and tell you and talk just to make you feel better about it and not be so ashamed as it can happen alot.

Yeah, I love Abercrombie and Fitch.

I know I did do quit alot, but I deleted some of my icons because i thought they looked a little simliar so I’m making some more now! Like we said on msn πŸ˜‰.

Yeah, thats what’s happening here now. I love big brother so I will miss it because it’s something a little different than singing contests and stuff.

You don’t, I like in the UK. The weather is terrible at the moment!

Same, dodgy internet annoys me LOL!

Aww, hugs and friends make us feel better, don’t they? πŸ™‚ I’m glad you’re open to your friends now. Usually when I have problems, I’d only tell my closest friends. Some just don’t care and say ‘Oh, that’s okay.’. And some would change the topic like ‘That’s not a big deal. BTW, have you seen This going out with That? That really got to my nerves!’ Do I look like I care about those people right now? πŸ˜‘”

Yup, let’s repair our broken selves. πŸ™‚ The grass is there to remind us that even when it had been cut and stepped on, it will always regrow. Hold on like a lizard holds on to the ceiling. Haha. There’s a random one in our window right now.

Speaking of being organized, my room is far from being one. I don’t sleep there right now, but I’ll clean it tomorrow. i hate the dust!

Aww, it’s my pleasure to do so. β™₯️

I’m so glad you stopped cutting yourself – sometimes I think I get depressed, when everything gets on top of me and it seems like nobody understands, but I’ve never cut myself and it makes me realise that I’m lucky I’m in such a good place πŸ™‚
It was brave of you to admit that on your blog too.

I can relate pretty much exactly to your elastic band comparison – I used to have a friend who was really spoiled at home, and she treated everyone around her like dirt – her friends, her parents, and she was even rude to our teachers. She would say something that would really get mine or another friend’s back up, but we never said anything because I picked her up on her attitude once and she ended up twisting it all round to be our fault, and it was completely pointless mentioning it again. She would just keep going and going – I don’t even know if she realised she was being horrible, or if she was just used to it – and eventually I snapped and yelled at her about how much her attitude bothered everyone. I wish I hadn’t now, but it did something because even though we’re not as friendly now, she isn’t as bad to talk to.

Sorry for the essay πŸ˜† I’m glad we can still be affiliates, too, thanks!

I’ve been dealing with depression since I was about 15. Its not easy. And sometimes I feel just like you described, like I’m being stretched to thin. I just keep reminding myself I’m only one person, I can only do so much, I can only do my best. I take things one day at a time, and it usually helps.

hahah yeaa. Usually people only tailor like suits or dress clothes πŸ˜†

LMAOOO. Yes yes. I shall! I’m outdated πŸ˜†

Thats cool! Thast such a cute nickname πŸ˜„
heheh lolll

Hahah yea, it is! Like half of my family are policemen πŸ˜†
Yea the police people here have those things too, but They’re not always good at it πŸ˜†D

hahah! It makes a lot of sense though ! πŸ˜†

Yea! I hate that! You know what I hate most? When people like make fun of asians! I’m like THERE IS A ASIAN RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! hmphh, evil peoplee πŸ˜†D
its only okay when they joke around, but not like seriously… 😦

Yeaa. Its werid though, I know its for me to improve [the criticism] but yet it always gets to me πŸ˜†

You’re welcome. I needed a nice, simple theme and I remembered that you had some WordPress themes. I decided to use one.

And thanks! While the coloring and general layout you did wasn’t bad it was too light pink for my tastes πŸ˜‰

That’s ok, lol. Some people don’t like country music because they see it to “clean” and too “hammy”. I guess at times it can be both, it’s full of cheese haha.

It sounds like we actually have a lot of bands in common. Except for The Beatles, I never did care for them much 😳 I like a few songs like “Eleanor Rigby”, “Strawberry Fields Forever”, but that’s about it.

Pearl Jam and Nirvana are great bands. I love them both and even have a Nirvana CD laying about somewhere.

The Crue are great lol. What songs of theirs do you have? My favorite is “Home Sweet Home” and “Don’t Go away Mad (Just go Away)”

And my friend? She’s much better. I think she went through a very dark time, but she’s come out into the light so to speak. She and her ex husband even hooked back up and got re-married. I hope she’s really happy like she says and not just looking for something to *make* her happy.

Indie rock is cool. I listen to it on occasion. There was a band on Pandora that popped up. Very The Runaways-ish. I think they were called Gore or something of the like and had a kick ass song. I rather liked them, and added them to my favorites. If they pop up again I’ll comment with their name haha.

Yeah, the thing about kids. They’re so needy, too and I’m just not the type to coddle someone like that. I’ve never been that type. Oh, I’ll hug my friends and all but PDA and all that isn’t for me. It makes me uncomfortable, lol.

Please look at the message on my site x

I think we all feel depressed and stretched to the maximum from time to time, some worse than others. I really like how you compared humans to rubber band. Great analogy, metaphorically speaking of course. If humans were to be stretchable like rubber bands in real life, we’d have some insane and quick evolution on our hands!

My friends and I used to do the same thing when it came to presents. Samantha had a great birthday she screamed when she got the gift she wanted, it was really cute because she was super happy and surprised.

I love the idea of making handmade cards, I love crafting and just the other day I went to a craft store, they had a lot of stuff on sale and I bought lots of blank cards and decorations to make cards for when it’s someones birthday. I feel like making cards just makes the person know you care and that you didn’t just put cash in and envelop and put your name on it.

Hey Thanks for the comment i know i dont have to blog all teh site but i hadnt in ages so yeah.. πŸ˜› Michael

I’ve fell into depression a few times in my life and as a result I’ve engaged in quite a few self-destructive behaviours, its like an addiction, you want to destroy… because you ~feel destroyed. Its tough, and depression is not something you “beat,” its something you just learn to handle and deal with. You have to learn how, all on your own, and there are not a lot of people who understand that type or depth of sadness that is felt by those who are depressed. Its not the same as a regular feeling of sadness. It is a completely different world, I can guarentee it, and people who have never been depressed will never see that side of the world, ever. So for many people it is hard for them to sympathise and understand what you need when you come to them for support. I have amazing friends and an amazing mom, but a lot of times I’ve found its hard for people to relate. So I try to be strong for myself as best as I can and that is the best I can do, so I live with it. I’ve fell into regular depressions, in addition, earlier this year I was told I had SAD, which is a condition where I am very likely to become depressed every winter for the rest of my life. It has happened two winters so far, though not in a row, and may continue to happen or may not continue to happen. It just means there is a good chance it will, every winter. Which is a scary thing for me to realize, because it means I may enter every fall and winter season with a lot of secret fear about what is to come, and I feel I carry that fear as a burden all on my own, since I dont know anyone else who is so close to me that either has been depressed to the same degree or has the same condition. I really just keep it to myself. Im sorry you had to go through similar things. But, keep trooping through it. Better days will come πŸ™‚

oh goodness, bacon is the bane of my existence. i love bacon so darn much but it’s a heart attack with each bite.

our boyfriends are awesome πŸ™‚ he was actually the one who saw the ‘potential’ in me and gave me so much hope, hehe. cheesy.

i’d rather keep my phone number for forever! here, we ‘recycle’ numbers so after a few months, your old number is given to someone else and your current number was somebody else’s a few months back. it’s annoying to receive calls asking for ashley when there’s no one by that name there!

Yeah haha. Maybe the point will smack people in the face so they stop leaving rude comments. I don’t even know how many times I have addressed it but I have. πŸ˜†

Awh well I am glad you feel better now β™₯️ Yeah I think it’s better to have a few friends that are really true then a lot of friends who turn their backs on you when you need them most. Crying helps. A lot.

How cute! πŸ˜„ You can get really cute stuffed animals at the dollar trees an stuff here. They are really good for little kid birthday parties as goody items πŸ™‚ Good party ideas! πŸ˜†

I’m glad you’re better at least. 😊 I’ve never met a cutter although I think my kind of cousin was. I never asked though, I’m kind of scared in such situations because I don’t want them to attempt suicide. >.< I don't know. My friends and I always joked about such things but I watch them. I don't want any of my friends going suicidal, it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job as a friend. 😰

That was the first time I tried Crazy Taxi. It actually seems fun. I just wish I beat that level I was sooooo close. And it would have shown how awesome I was at video games. Just to prove to… Orlando that I'm awesome at such things. Hahaha.

I know, sometimes when my mom is explaining family stuff to me she says. "Your auntie's husband's sist'er's daughter is having a baby" or something like that. And i'm like, And I know her how?

I'm trying to not make a big deal of that guy. It's just soooo hard. πŸ™„ Because, I don't want to get caught up in boys. I just can't help it though…. he seemed so nice and hot. Or maybe not hot.. but cute. πŸ˜†

Yep, you gotta learn from your mistakes! That’s life πŸ™‚ Always learning!

Hey I hope you feel better soon and everything starts being organised and stuff for you again. *big hugs*

I know what depression’s like and it aint fun so I hope you’re better even if things get really tough.

you’re so right about humans being like rubber bands. And it’s so easy for us to snap. Quite scary actually.

there’s heaps of girls at my school that are pregnant. Rather strange.

ooh you saw me on Erin Simpson? What did ya think… I think I did alright.

Yeah my friend has mulitple personalities and she’s being watched really closely now ‘cos they’re worried she’ll hurt herself or other people more. She’s got really violent now.

Hey I hope you feel better soon and everything starts being organised and stuff for you again. *big hugs*

I know what depression’s like and it aint fun so I hope you’re better even if things get really tough.

you’re so right about humans being like rubber bands. And it’s so easy for us to snap. Quite scary actually.

there’s heaps of girls at my school that are pregnant. Rather strange.

ooh you saw me on Erin Simpson? What did ya think… I think I did alright.

Yeah my friend has mulitple personalities and she’s being watched really closely now ‘cos they’re worried she’ll hurt herself or other people more. She’s got really violent now.

sorry for the double post Georgie. I must’ve accidentally clicked twice.

Uwh. Stupid Akismet is picking on you!

That’s what I like to call it — MAGIC!

*waves egg at your face*
OMG A FARM! I want to be a farmer. Not really a farmer, just owning a lot of farm animals. I love farm animals. I NEED A PONY AND SOME COWS.
It’s cool that they had a farm, though. 😜 Bitches took their eggs and sold them! 😦

I can’t eat something that cheeps so sweetly. β™₯️

I told my mum that it would be better if the baby came out of the butt. Because, you know, like being really constipated. πŸ˜†
And she was like, “Your butt would split and you would die!”
/um

Once I had bubble bath armour. πŸ˜„
And a bubble bath beard.

/puke 😑 Cherry tomatoes!

Did you read the bit where she wrote ‘Aro laughed. “Ha, ha, ha…” he chuckled.’?

Oh man, that sucks. People tease me about my mom and dad being two different races.
Like when my mom told you “HER DAD IS ITALIAN!!!!! πŸ˜„”
She’s so random!

Yes they will, they can’t escape karma!

/bounce πŸ‘

Were you serious that you tried to commit suicide? I hope not. We may be sometimes worn out but a day or few of pure relaxation can solve that. Hmm. You and James should try visiting peaceful places like uhm near the sea? Lie down to the sound and feel the cold breeze touching your face and the serene white clouds above you that says, ‘Cheer up Georgie! There are many other people who feel more terrible than you do. Remember that you still have the people that love you.’ Be happy girl, even problems are pouring down. ☺️

Yeah, your so brave. True, also you could help someone else out if they are suffering because you know what it’s like.

Haha, LOL. I made a new more and I do think they look better. I don’t really store them in my computer I normally keep them in my Tinypic and look back on them to see what i can improve.

Yeah haha, never mind! they are axing it after one normal and a celebrity one so. I don’t really watch TV to be honest.

Aww, abroad always gets great weather! It is getting cold already!

O RLY?

OH MY GOD YOU SAINT! *pray*
Updated blog post, just had to do that right away. πŸ˜›

Sounds good! I should get that instead.

Not enough money, and a bit too messy. But chickens (I wrote chuckens) are just HOLY!
*holychickendance*

“The butt isn’t designed for that.”
Hmm… butt engineer, eh? πŸ˜‰
*sewing up butts*

I barely have any b-baths. 😞 Just showers.
I remember having baths when I was a small toddler, my mom would rinse my hair and shampoo got into my eyes etc. then I cried. And scream “MY EYES!! TOWEL!!”

Me neither, I hate tomatoes. I don’t like any tomatoes except for tomato sauce and tomato paste. πŸ˜‹

Lucky you! What’s read can’t be unread. πŸ˜”
Unless you damage your head!!

Indo-Chinese-Dutch? Out of memory, so don’t kill me if I got it wrong. πŸ˜†

Yes it is, because his accent is hilarious.
Dad: “I didn’t norris it!!”
Me: “Go chuck yourself, then!!”

No, I didn’t! πŸ˜„ It’s hard to work hard (ironic) when the work is easy. *sigh*
Most of the time, I just doodle on my work. Then I manage to do it before anyone else finishes… woot!

I know, it’s so rare. I was like… πŸ˜“
The students cheered too.

:O THAT’S GONNA BE HARD.
GIMME A JOB TO DO AND I WILL DO IT.
BECAUSE I WANNA HELP.
(H)

Ask me my home address, phone number (even though you probably have it somewhere, hehe), birthplace, mother’s full name, and when I want to die.
…Maybe not.

Ah thank you πŸ™‚ Really the only mainstream posters over here are Twilight and Hannah Montana – if I found one in my room I’d move. Occasionally they have some good shots in HMV, like once they had Muse and a Simpsons one which impressed my brother to no end.

I only had something like 6 icons on my desktop, and every time I changed the background I’d try to rearrange them to fit but they always ruined it πŸ˜‘

Which persona did you download?