Five-minute goodbyes

“You hang up.”
“No, you hang up.”
“No, you.”
“I’ll do it when you do.”
“No you won’t. You hang up first.”

It has perhaps been countless times that I’ve encountered such a conversation on the phone. Usually, it was the other person who hung up first and I would hear the dial tone.

Then I’d feel kind of empty and sad that the other person beat me to it. And then I’d feel awful for not hanging up first and that I’d lost. Hearing the dial tone used to make me upset that I wasn’t the first to hang up. Even when we agreed to hang up at the same time, I usually waited just that split second. It’s like hearing that dial tone after they hung up made me feel like I won, but also like I had lost.

Dropped connection. It’s upsetting in many cases. Perhaps that’s why my ears don’t want to hear the noises that are associated with some kind of melancholy doom. But why did I want to hear it? Why did I feel the need to hear it?

Maybe just to know. Maybe just to know that the other person wasn’t the one hanging on. So I’d know they were safely gone, not sitting there crying on the other end or unhappy or the one feeling the way I did. I think that in knowing they had hung up, that kept me sane and gave me the satisfaction of knowing that they hadn’t hung on.

In person – I’ll be honest – I think it’s awkward. I think it’s awkward when you’ve got to run off and do your own thing and you’ve been chatting with friends, and suddenly you have to leave for whatever reason. I think there have been a few awkward moments between Ryan, Sebastian and me, when we’ve just stood there chatting and rambling on. I then get that feeling of dread that one of us has to leave and run some errands or tasks – and why is this embarrassing? I think it’s awkward. Who is going to leave first? Who is going to run off first and say, “Well, about time I head off”?

In the time I’m thinking that I’d better cook up some lame excuse to go to the bathroom and hence get away from the pair since I’ve got to go and fulfill other duties, someone else has said the same thing, making it all rather awkward again. Oh I don’t even know why it’s so awkward.

And then I look back when I walk off, sometimes. I look back wondering if my friend is watching me walk off, or looking over their shoulder too. Like the times you might get off the train and you wave to your friend through the window. Do you doubt that they’re looking back at you and watching you walk around the corner, lost to sight? Do you just not wave back, just in case you wave in the window and they’re not looking, and you make a fool of yourself? I sometimes try to take a peek before I even try and wave. Sometimes I feel like an idiot when I look back and realise my friend is totally not looking in my direction.

Then there is instant messaging, which I do not know how to explain. There’s always a bit of a need to get the last word in, even when your friend is the one leaving. I feel like there’s a bit of desperation to get the last word in, I want to be the last one to say goodbye or signal a wave in words before they hit ‘log out’.

Actually, I stopped caring. When I want to leave, I want to say goodbye. Hit escape and hit ‘log out’ before my friend catches onto me again and says another goodbye or a ‘take care’ or a ‘see you tomorrow’. I’m running away.

It’s pretty cool. Now I’m not the one waiting for the last word. I am the last word. πŸ˜›

Comments on this post

Haha, I remember all the times I would have the “You hang up. No, YOU hang up!” moment and their equivalents on MSN. I actually find them sweet and funny. I guess it only happens when people don’t really want to leave the other, although not always true.

Like, in MSN, I would always give the other person the chance to say bye when I said bye, so that meant I would stick around for a bit longer. I think I stopped caring about it last year, though, as I stopped using MSN to talk to people (now I only talk to a very few people) it didn’t matter to me as much. Now, unless there’s a reason for me to stick around after saying bye, I would just leave and let them send an offline message if they so wished. But it doesn’t bother me if they don’t. I only talk to close friends on MSN, and I know it’s not a big deal if we leave without notice or don’t get to say goodbye. πŸ˜†

Although I guess it can get a bit awkward in real life. I always want to say bye when leaving, and that can get a bit hard if there’s a conversation going on (like on Tuesday, between Ryan and Dahlia).

i was once like this and i always get late at school!

this is crazy sometimes, you cant get off your seat because there is a lot of chatting and you dont want to miss a conversation
naah..
:)

OMG, this brings back memories. :’) Me and Rob used to be the same on the phone to each other. He’d eventually hang up and I’d be all mad, phone him back and be like “OMG YOU ACTUALLY HUNG UP ON ME”. Yeah, fun times. We grew out of that after a year or so though. πŸ˜›

I find it awkward in person too. Whenever I’m talking to friends or neighbours and I need to go and do stuff, I can NEVER be the first to say “right, I best be off”, I don’t know why. I just feel rude I guess. I always wait for the other person to say it.

I used to say “I really need a wee” or “I need to get a drink” and that usually worked, but sometimes they’ll say “okay I’ll wait here for you” haha, how awkward.

I’d do the same on MSN. I’d quickly say my goodbye, let them say goodbye, then I’d quickly sign out. It’s so weird/awkward when people try to say bye several times. I can’t use MSN, so I don’t have that problem anymore luckily.

I don’t know, I’m awkward person anyway so. πŸ˜›

Oh yeah, that’s true. I guess it would be a spoiler for someone who wants to see it, but hasn’t had the chance yet. I used to be like that with Lost. It used to show on Channel 4, then straight after, they’d show next week’s on E4 so I’d watch it too. Then do the same with the next week. Kinda pointless but, eh, it was fun.

Sometimes I enjoy a blog so much, I just have nothing to say on the matter. Sometimes I find it hard to comment on your blogs (like your last one) because it was just so good. If that makes sense? I always read your blogs, even if I’m closed and never comment. Your blogs are my favourite.

Yep that’s true. I think us girls are better at time management, I guess. And we can multi-task very well. πŸ˜† They do say guys can’t multi-task.

I used to be like that with my play count too haha. Since I had to restore my laptop (twice now -____-), I lost all my plays. I had nearly all of my Breaking Benjamin songs on 1000 plays each and I lost them all. 😞 I’m not too fussed anymore, Last.fm has most of my plays anyway.

I think Scrubs is great, and Two And A Half Men. I don’t watch it much anymore, since me and Rob broke up, I hardly see that group of people; unless we go soccer.

I’m like that when I hear about someone who likes Breaking Benjamin haha. I don’t really watch any shows that not many people like.

You’ve probably seen the video before; I think I posted it on Twitter a while back. Oh well, I wanted to write a blog on it anyway. πŸ˜› I think people comment more on blogs with pictures or videos because the blog posts are usually quite short, so they don’t feel like they need to post a huge comment. πŸ˜† That’s my theory anyway.

I think you’ve gone to bed so GOODNIGHT GEORGIE. β™₯️

I usually hang up right after good-byes to save phone fees, hah. But I do think it’s awkward to say bye-bye anytime when with a friend. On MSN, I usually say goodbye and good night even though I’ll still be hanging around the computer for maybe one more hour before actually turning it off and going to bed or the showers. And even in real life. In the past saying bye after a nice chat with my friends leaves a warm tingly feeling and makes me look forward to the next chat. Now it’s kind of empty for some reason. Maybe it’s because our chats have become more ridden with occasional silence.

Lol, I do the phone thing all the time with my friends. I hardly ever win though. πŸ˜› I’m always too impatient to wait for the other person to hang up first. Or maybe it’s the fact that my friends are all extremely stubborn so it’s impossible to win against them.

When I used to use AIM, I always felt bad leaving first and not letting the person say ‘bye’ before I logged out. I felt like I was just “Oh, gotta go!” and then ditched and ran. I dunno how to explain it, but I don’t wait as much anymore. I’ll wait a second, but we all realize we have busy lives so I just log off anyhow.

Wow, copying definitely was not the way to go about it. Practice makes perfect right? If she wanted to write like you, you’d think she would just look at your writing and take some tips or something.

Lol. I remember doing these! Luckily for me, I’m busy enough that I can always make an excuse to run away.

I don’t know what other people do, but I make it a rule for myself not to look back. It makes me less anxious if I don’t look back, move on, and focus on something completely different.

And again, I’m not sure how other people do it, but my conversations over instant messaging just kind of… stop. And then they pick up a couple days later. πŸ˜› Probably depends on people.

Hahahahaha. I’ve done a few of those ending phone conversations. πŸ˜† Not many but a fair few. πŸ™‚

I’ve had a few dropped connections. It is normally when I am talking to Dante on my cell phone and T mobile wants to be an arse and hang up for me when I am in the middle of a sentence, maybe even a wo-*dropped connection sound*
Hahahahaha. πŸ™ƒ Had to.

I often feel stupid when Dante waves at me when he is at school and trying to get my attention when he already has it. Idky but it embarrasses me..I have told him this but he wont let it go so I just did. I let it bother me but it only bothers me in that moment. It’s not something I look back on and regret or anything like that.
==================================
Totally. That happened to me with work. One moment I was unemployed the next I was employed and stressed out beyond belief…It was ugh. So, now I have learned not to touch the computer until after work on Saturdays and to make sure I go offline by 8p so that I can get some rest for Sunday’s shift. πŸ™‚
Cuz I work Friday Nights 5-10, Saturday Mornings 7-2 and Sunday mornings 7 or 8 until 1 or 2. Now since I work at a restaurant I can get off at 1 on Saturdays or I can get off at 3 or 4. It’s stupid to have an off time because it is basically whenever they don’t need the help anymore, literally.

I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE to do a laser tag party and I’d be jumping all over that, if we had a laser tag facility. πŸ˜‘ STUPID CITY OF PRATTVILLE NOT HAVING ANYTHING FOR TEENS TO DO. πŸ˜‘
Yeah, I could do a picnic….That actually sounds really nice. I need to figure out some activities to go with that besides Twister or a HUGE Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit game. hahahaha.

Awh! Really? That was your last birthday party? That is sad! I have to have a party or else I will feel really bad. Like one year, I think it was for my 13th birthday party, I had called my friends to make sure they new when the party was just a few days earlier and a few said they would and could come but NO ONE except a friend my sister invited for a sleepover which just happened to be on my birthday came. I cried. I felt so lonely. To this day it haunts me and I still feel lonely some days because of it.

Oh, I wasn’t planning on quitting this job until I had another one to make sure I had a steady flow of money coming in. & yeah it is very different to earn less than normal. :/
I probably will get a second job but not until after I turn 18 this summer. πŸ™‚

1. Awesome. πŸ˜„ β™₯️ That means a lot coming from you.
2. Oh, that is awesome. πŸ™‚
3. oh awesome. πŸ™‚ I'll keep that in mind for a premade layout. πŸ˜‰
4. The shadow effect on everything or just the tree/flowers or text? & Yeah, I'm not all that good at choosing fonts. What would be a few you would suggest?

I’m not a big phone talker. But I always have this problem over text: Is it or isn’t acceptable to just stop texting someone when the conversation gets dry? Saying “goodbye” just seems like a cop-out since you are texting and that only involves 2% of your brain’s concentration.

It’s very much true though. Over Google Talk, I spend at least 5 minutes every conversation biding my time to slip in “Good night” or “Good bye” because the conversation keeps lulling on and there doesn’t seem to be a suitable time to cut it off. I’ll wait and suddenly there will be a gap when the last line of convo was something like “lol.” which ends the conversation quite brutally. And I’m ready to say “bye” and then “Richard is typing…” comes up on screen and then I can’t. haha

YOU.ARE.THE.FINAL.WORD.

Epic way to end!

I really hate the after-hangup tone! I don’t know why, it makes me feel being ignored! My mom is so annoying like that, if I call her she hangs up before I finish what I’m saying. Urghhhh she’s always annoying in every possible method. I also don’t like to be the one who leaves either. When I talk to my cousin online (I talk to him most actually O_O) I’m always the one who has to go because it would be (late) bedtime. I feel bad for running away almost. So sometimes I’m glad his mom makes him go do stuff, haha. I know, I’m weird.

You know what makes me nervous though? When I say bye to someone on IM and I see them still typing. Haha it’s like they have something important to say and it’ll be bad if I miss it? But you bad bad person for running away. What if it’s something important? Haha.

Aww, forgive me for asking but how do you bully someone on Formspring? I just got one because it seemed fun, and the Tumblr one really annoyed me.

Ehhhh the Korea situation is seriously bothering me right now. My dad has given me permission (and he’s paying) to go but it’s insulting, he wants to get rid of me. And my mom won’t let me go until I find something to do IN ADDITION TO volunteer-teaching English! GAHHH LIFE SUCKS!

Well when I get unlazy and actually figure out how to install WordPress that giant-file size I’ll make sure I start with one of your themes … then some other themes I’ve seen … until I’ve learned how to code my own. I hope I’ll be under 40 years old by then. πŸ˜›

So you finish your Bachelors when you’re 20 right, so you would be 22 when you get masters? My math sucks!

Don’t worry, I’ve seen them enough I can give you some of the horror. I just really hate layouts that have the same person repeating in a blend. IT ANNOYS ME SO MUCH! 23TUWDIOFJLSKAJFLSAUTOEWJKLFJSLKDFJKSALDUFSLF

In the 80s 90s and early 00s they were popular too! But suddenly everyone switched to skinny jeans, and now the flares are back. Gah, I won’t have any new clothes. =/

Your new layout looks great! And I really like your free layouts too. I think the Peach one is my favorite. πŸ˜„

I’ve never had a conversation like that before on the phone. I think that would sound rather annoying to me, lol. But I don’t like it when you say good bye to someone and they don’t say it back. It’s just rude.

Ello. πŸ˜„ Thank you! I don’t know though, it’s always a bit awkward saying goodbye to someone… haha.

I have actually been reading your blog since you moved to your domain. πŸ˜„ I hope your foot gets better. Nice choice of not enabling comments though – I hate returning them sometimes too, I know how you feel.

Congratulations on the wonderful approvals and adoptions you’ve been getting lately! πŸ˜‰

haha I was like that all the time when instant messaging. It’s annoying when I’m NOT the first one leaving a chat like that and the person I’ve been talking to says goodbye, I say goodbye and they KEEP SAYING STUFF. Or putting a waving emoticon or something. I just stop responding and am sitting there thinking “weren’t you leaving?!” lol

I never really find it awkward when in person with people and have to leave. What I find awkward is when I don’t really have anything I need to do, but run out of things to say. Then I WANT to leave, but what excuse shall I use?! That’s awkward. πŸ˜›

I am like you on the phone.
I am like:
“I have to go now, I am leaving”
“bye”
“bye”
(whisper) “bye”
(whisper back) “bye”
haha and it goes from there. I hate ending phone calls. I love to talk,well to the right person. I always call Corey. We never text because after a while texting hurts,s o we talk a lot. I am usuallly the one who hangs up though, I feel bad but sometimes I have too. Sometimes we both hang up when our parents go into our room (I hate it when we are talking and they barge in cause than my mom goes “who are you talking to” and I am like “ugg my friend” lol) I find that awkward.

I don’t think leaving is that awkward. I guess I am just use to it? I always say “I am really sorry, but I need to go” I guess it is making excuses, but I hate being somewhere for a long time. And I find IMs so awkward. Not the same way you do though. I hate when I have to go. Do I say g2g? or brb? Like I feel bad when I leave, however sometimes I just do not want to talk. I do not want to ignore them because I feel bad. So I am really sorry if I just leave or something! (like on skype).

I just love how this lyt is personalized. I actually wrote a Literary Analysis for English, explaining why Simple Plan’s song Perfect reflects and guides me in the month of February. I tried listening to Armor For Sleep/Ben, but I want you to recommend good songs, so which ones are they? And they are Emo? I never knew that was a genre. lol But it said that on wikipedia.

I believe we are always changing. I know Chris Crocker once said in a video (one of my friends is OBSESSED with his videos lol) said that life is about creating yourself not finding yourself. Maybe that is true, we are always creating and learning to be better people πŸ™‚

I hope the girl didn’t die from suicide=/ I hate when stuff like this happens. If people took the time to think about feelings I guarantee none of this would happen. I would never take a photo nude either. I think it is disgusting and gross to do that. I would be paranoid ALL the time lol

I think a lot of people in the music industry is cocky. I mean they have fans and wins stuff, like they probably all think their music is the shit *cough* kanye West *cough*

Hellooo!

Hahaha, I think 5-minute long goodbyes where you’re all “You hang up…no YOU…NOOO, YOU HANG UP FIRST!” are cute πŸ˜›. Although sometimes it’s a little inconvenient on msn, when you have to sleep, and then just before you close the window a whole other topic of conversation comes up. LOL. Sometimes it’s cool, but other times it’s like NOOOOO, I NEED MY SLEEP! 😞

I used to wait until the other person hung up first, too πŸ™‚. Because I always worry that they have something else to say and if I hang up first, I’ll miss it 😦. Silly, I know. I still do that sometimes, but I think I have improved. Hahahahaha.

Although if I really don’t want to talk to the person who’s calling, I make a special effort to hang up first πŸ˜†. It’s mean, but sometimes I can’t help being super pissed-off when I get called at stupid times like 1am in the morning 😑.

Yeah, sometimes it IS awkward when you’re chatting amongst your friends and you have to go. Especially if you REALLY have to go and someone is in the middle of explaining something 😦. I hate those moments T_T. It’s the same on msn, it’s AWKWARD when someone’s going on about something and you suddenly have to go.

What’s also awkward is when you want to go and you say so, and the other person isn’t happy about it and tries to guilt trip you. It used to work for me, but now it doesn’t. I just get resentful and annoyed and go faster πŸ˜†. Cos I’m petty like that /um.

Omg, I do that all the time. When I’m leaving, I always look back to see if I have to wave one last time πŸ˜›. I cannot COUNT the number of times I’ve looked back and waved to realise the person I’m waving too isn’t even LOOKING in my direction. How embarrassing πŸ˜›.

God, there should be etiquette rules about this! πŸ˜›

Hmmm I always wonder if people look back again after I leave, after I have looked back. Like one of those movie scenes with boy and girl parting, yknow… haha.

What i hate about MSN is when you are mid convo with someone, or you had something you really wanted/needed to say, and then they suddenly go “g2g bye” and log off. Even though I could just txt them and say/ask whatever, i would always feel dumb, as if i’ve been walked out on!

Anyway, we’re being so melodramatic haha.

Haha this is the coolest blog post. I never really had that kind of phone conversation. Most of all because I am not a big fan of talking over the phone anyways, maybe even because I don’t like to get into those situations of hanging up and hearing the dial tone…

When it comes to instant messaging, I am also the one who leaves first. When I say I have to leave, I will just end it with “talk soon, bye” and immediately log off, I never wait for the other person to say bye, because sometimes they don’t, and it would leave me judging the other person as “rude”.

Your blog reminded me of a clip from The Simpsons Movie. “You hang up,” “no, you hang up,” “okay.” *dial tone* “Hey! She just hung up on me!” I used to spend about twenty minutes trying to say goodbye to my ex on the phone. It was funny because he was always the one that needed to go but Lliam would never hang up. I used to jokingly yell at him to get off the phone I would never hang up myself because I still wanted to talk to him. πŸ˜› Actually, looking back I think I hung up every time.

I’ve never honestly thought about it in that much depth. When I speak to my friends on the phone if one of us needs to go we go. As for in person, if I run into people I know from school up town we say goodbye and go our separate ways. I always assumed there was just this social. I renewed the domain on the twenty-somethingth of February but I didn’t actually open until the 11th March. That’s how long I took to open the site. πŸ˜†

Stone Sour are really good. I liked them before I liked Slipknot. People who only know Corey Taylor from Slipknot don’t realise what a nice voice he has. I love their ballads. You should listen to Bother, Zzyzx Rd or Hesitate.

I hate going all fangirly because quite often I’ve had people telling me I’m just a wannabe groupie with no respect for the music. Those people are so narrow-minded. I’ve never been fangirly unless I love the music. I don’t see why people have a problem.

Oh you took the photo for your layout? Ahh you must have been close to the barrier! I saw that picture of you with him, it’s such a nice picture. I don’t really know him and I’m jealous. It must have been amazing. Especially since he seems to know you fairly well too.

The first episode of DW I properly watched was the first of series 5 and I was actually cheering and clapping at the end. πŸ˜› I really got into it. Although the angels really creeped me out.

The police aren’t doing anything to get your phone back? That’s pretty bad, especially if they’ve identified the guy.

Oh dear, everyone’s asking how I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. I’ve been good; busy but good. I haven’t really been doing much besides what I briefly mentioned in the blog. I’ve had plenty more spectacular clumsy moments, bought too many band tshirts, had a near-fatal hug from my friend Michaela when I got her Jared Leto-style red studded fingerless gloves for her birthday, stressed about school, started talking to a lot of music forum people online. Nothing of huge significance really. πŸ˜›

Hey! Yes! I know what you mean! As far as conversations on the phone goes, it can be very awkward. Especially when you don’t know how to end. It is even worse when you don’t really want to talk to them. Though usually I’m pretty good and nothing ever gets really awkward. πŸ˜†
Oh in a group of friends, the first to leave is always the worst.
I usually find myself in this sort of predicament with relatives that I don’t really know. My mom or something will put me on the phone with them to say “hi” and that’s all I say. I don’t know what else to talk about. The weather? 😦 And then saying goodbye is so bad. “Um, well nice talking with you!” 😢

I love how your comments are set up with all the anchor links! How did you do this!? I’m trying to improve my comments. Did you know a tutorial I could follow? Or if you could lend a hand that would awesome! Thanks!

I hate small talk; the weather is pretty much a conversation starter but having small talk is pretty painful when you know you’re just sitting there talking for the sake of talking and just to be polite.

You have anchor links on your blog as well, I noticed. Sorry, I don’t have a tutorial on anything like that. It’s something you can easily pick up from The Codex with the right tags though. πŸ™‚

Honestly I’ve never ended a phone conversation like that. haha. I’m always the first one to hang out, as soon as I hear “bye” my finger is on the button and it’s pressed. That may be because I hate talking on the phone – even with my mom. I’d much rather write you an Email or send you an IM/Tweet. It is awkward when in person and you have to run. Normally I’ll just give a wave and go do whatever I went out to do. The only people I’ll stand and talk with would be relatives; mainly my older brother or someone related to my grandma. Last weekend at the mall I seen our neighbor and I didn’t stop to talk – well I was eating a snack and he was in line to get some pizza. I don’t even think he realized it was me. haha. I am close to the same way you are, at least when the logging out – I say goodbye to whoever I’m chatting with then quickly hit the button before anything else can be said. I don’t feel bad about it because I know if I don’t leave at that point I could be on for hours more talking.

I did that phone thing a lot when I was in elementary school. Over the phone, I usually just hang up once I say “goodbye,” but it is rather awkward to end a conversation in person. I don’t want some people to think that something’s more important than they are, but I sometimes just need to get things done. The biggest problem I have is with saying “goodbye” and not even knowing that it’s the last time. I had lots of friends, but things changed and I never realised that something I said or didn’t say would cause the end of a friendship. It saddens me a bit. 😞 I’m really nervous about talking to people I haven’t talked to in a while unless there’s actually something there to talk about.

—-

I lose motivation to run a website sometimes, but I’ve never lost motivation to create and code websites and graphics (even though graphics can’t be coded lol). I get pretty upset when I lose motivation, though, but at least I’ve never lost my web-design juices.

Aww @ your cousin. I’m glad he found someone though πŸ˜„

I’ve actually never done that kind of goodbye over the phone. Either I’m the one hanging up first or the other person is. Honestly, I don’t see the appeal. Why can’t just one of you hang up first? Why go through the bother of a pointless argument just to decide who hangs up? Appeal is lost on me. Same thing when it comes to IM. Sometimes, I think the people hanging on until the other responds just wants attention. If you have to go, and honestly have to leave, then why stay on just to receive that final IM? Surly it will still be there when you get back.

Eh, the appeal is lost on this topic. Or maybe I’m just a rude person? πŸ˜›

Oh my goodness!! I remember those dreadful telephone calls! I used to hate the phone because of that, but since I dumped two of my friends who were little drama queens to begin with and are pretty much sheltered and are given everything they want in their command…well; that just lead me to dump them, and say EFF them!! lol. Ah well. But you do make a good point, though, I like cell phones cause when Andrew and I talk we hardly say goodbye I guess it’s a weird scene in that moment when you know you gotta go, but you don’t wanna say anything so you just hang up. Well; at least I get hung up on anyway but that okay with me! I’d rather he have to hang up first and right away and go do what has to go do than spend the time with me and just be bored ya know?

But anywho, your mom would even get mad at you if you bought your own corkboard with your own money?! That’s really weird. As far as twitter goes. I really want another twitter account, but I dunno if I really want it or not. I did send it in to get a text message for the verification code but I never got any. :/ So I may have to try again for the third time or just drop it or something? I dunno about that yet. I’m kinda content though knowing that I don’t have to tweet every day but I do miss it a lot. I’m also glad that my domain is paid up until 2012 so I won’t have to worry about moving around and what not. And yeah, I am definitely going to renew it when it comes high tide to renew it. πŸ™‚ . But as for the twitter thing I may try again for a third time. But if I do I will definitely let you know what my username is. That’s a good thing though to keep your tweets protected from unwanted trespassers! I mean from the moment I started blogging about my new family and what not I’ve been getting all these really rude comments from people that can’t even leave a URL or anything. So I delete them.

I was actually really depressed yesterday and I came to a conclusion that I either A.) Didn’t get enough sleep B.) Forgot to take my depression medicine C.) Know my real life friend doesn’t like Andrew and she’s never met him before or D.) all of the above and I’m kinda wondering if it’s all of the above ya know? I feel sleepy again right now, and I think it’s because I took too much pain reliever p.m. last week and it’s catching up to me. I mean they work great on my seizures, and everything but it’s not worth it being this tired and what not ya know? It’s just not. So once I feel back to normal and everything, I’m gonna try to get rid of those tablets or maybe just flush them down the toilet or sink. Cause my dad can’t use them he gets the jerky leg syndrome, and I get nightmares the next morning.

But anywho, yeah it was great to be called apart of their family and what not. And also getting to talk to some of his cousins and his aunt on the phone the other night as well! His aunt and I actually have 1 thing in common as far as I know of! We both love the paranormal world. πŸ™‚ . I admit it is kinda scary at night living in a 110 year old house, that creeks at night and what not especially the knocking noise above my head. That really freaks me out when I’m just dozing off to sleep and than *knock knock knock knock knock* it’s like Uh….*looks up and hears it again.* I mean jeez! Talk about a house being haunted! lol. I know it might be the tree branches knocking on the roof or something like that cause these trees are pretty tall in the backyard and they do that, but it doesn’t sound like a tree branch before the tree branch hits it. It actually sounds like a regular knocking noise and than the tree branches scratches the roof. It’s quite scary when you’re all by yourself in a 110 year old house. :/ .

But meh, I’ll get used to it hopefully sooner or later. I think it’s because I’m unnerved right now, with some things going on. My head feels cloudy and everything like that kinda like you’re catching a cold but I know what it was…I think it’s from taking too many of those pain reliever p.m.’s. ya know? So I’m staying away from those until I can calm down. And on top of that I’m gonna have to see my doctor about my heart as well. It’s beating kinda fast to the point of popping out of my chest and it’s like woah woah woah! calm down calm down! But even at that I feel tired all the time and I think it’s because of that. But I’m not sure so I’m gonna call my doctors tomorrow and find out. A long with the lab results I got which I’m not to sure about they said everything came back as normal meaning I don’t have to check my blood sugar anymore but I don’t know if I still need to keep taking the diabetes medicines or not? Ya know? So I need to ask them that too tomorrow. I just feel really nautious and everything and no I’m not pregnant!!! But yeah I feel extremely tired, a little nautious (due to stomach reflex disease). But hopefully I can get seen by the doctor soon! Well; take care! Love ya girly!!