Eight Days a Week

I hate time. Someone once asked me what I would wish for if I had one wish. I would pause time. Whether or not I want to grow old while time is paused, I don’t quite know. (We know what happened when Bart and Milhouse froze time.) But if I could pause time and take certain people with me or do certain things… the hell I would. How much more I could do with more time, with less deadlines, and to just forget about time even for a few moments.

Life is short. It tore me up when my 15 year old cousin passed away. Yesterday I was wondering why I couldn’t live for everything she never got to live for. Not because I have to, but because I want to.

In our lives there are many things we have to do. Things like go to school, shower, brush teeth, travel, and eat. So many times I have wanted to not do those things. I don’t want to do the things I have to do. I want to do the things I want to do.

Life has too many duties, and not enough time to do everything. Why do people make “bucket lists”? Is it because life is short? Because it’s a challenge to fit everything we can into a period of time?

It upsets me that yesterday my mum told me I wasn’t allowed to go out. She won’t tell me when I’m allowed. It makes no sense. I’m nineteen. I’m not even allowed to go out when I want. Never mind what my mum or dad say -I accept what they say but deep down, I don’t think it’s very fair.

I was looking forward to this break for a long time. I want to see James because his internship is finally finished. We want to go to the zoo. I want to see Lilian because I only see her about twice a year. I want to visit high school and see all my old teachers.

How many times I’ve been called Superwoman, Superwuggs (James calls me Wuggs), Super Georgina, and everything past the moon – is beyond me – but it means a lot. I hardly believe how much I get done in a day and how much I seem to do, but every time I receive a compliment I want to smile because it encourages me.

Today I cried.

I cried because I was happy. Something I haven’t done in years. I looked back on my first day of university and how scared I was that I would have to make new friends and that I might get lost. I look at how far I’ve come, and the friends I’ve made, and the friends I still have.

The journey of a thousand miles starts from beneath your feet.

We might not have all the time in the world, but we have time. We can’t pause time, we can’t get a TARDIS (sorry Sebby), we can’t change what we’ve done in the past.

We might wish there were more than 24 hours in a day, wish there were eight days a week, wish that for a moment we could stop everything from taking place – but we’ll have to keep on dreaming, right?

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