Behold! The Night Mare

I realise how irritable I can be sometimes. I am exceptionally moody, and perhaps moody is a word that doesn’t quite cut it.

I discovered my marks for last semester and I was really upset at the “Pass” I got for that stupid database subject I had with that nasty teacher. I guess I was expecting only a Pass with no extra credits, and it is better than a fail, but after putting in so much effort and feeling this extreme bias from this tutor, I’ve had enough. Frankly, she can get fucked, that’s all I’m saying.

I find that the rain also affects my moods. It’s been raining a lot lately and I’m not sure when it’s going to stop… and I keep forgetting when winter ends. It’s still another month away. I’ve been trying to go for a run every day, but since it started raining, I haven’t been able to, so I’ve been doing really silly things like jogging on the spot or back and forth across the kitchen while listening to music. Rain makes me really lazy.

Last night, for some reason, I couldn’t sleep. It’s pretty rare that I can’t sleep at night. Sometimes there might be a lot on my mind, but I usually sleep it off and decide to worry about it the next morning. Sometimes I’m just plain scared.

When I was five years old, I had a terrible nightmare. In the dream, I was in a dark pond scattered with lilypads. I felt like I was playing hide-and-seek just moving and jumping around, making my way to the edge of the pond with bushes. All of a sudden I saw the feet of a monster – it seemed much like a dinosaur’s feet – and a huge, bouncy red ball bounced right near me and nearly knocked me into the water. I was absolutely terrified. I think I was in the middle of a game of ball between some dinosaurs in this pond. The ball kept just missing me every time it bounced and I tried to run away. Suddenly, I woke up, and I couldn’t go back to sleep and I was scared to move, so I called out for my mum. I started crying and I remember that I went with her to her room because I was scared to sleep alone in my room. I don’t have nightmares a lot, and that’s just one of the ones I remember from when I was younger.

I realised that though shadows scare people, they give me some sort of comfort. I found this out in my Music in Shadows project for photography. I’ve been scared of the dark for as long as I can remember. One of my friends finds the darkness comforting, but pitch black creeps me out more than shadows do. Knowing that there is a presence of light, at all, makes me feel a bit better. I guess that’s why I found that it made me feel less scared when James, Mike and I played shadow puppets in the car that time I forgot my keys and we were just waiting outside my house in the dark…

I’ve done yoga before and there are quite a few techniques that helped me fall asleep or keep calm. One of them was just to listen to your breathing. Some people like to listen to the rain or the wind. I had this application on my old phone that played river music or rain sounds to help you sleep, but it kept draining out the battery. I still think that music by Explosions in the Sky helps me sleep. ☺️

One method I particularly liked involved counting. I used to grab a beaded necklace (in yoga, we were given wooden beads with some incense) and close my eyes, running beads through my fingers, one at a time. I used to think it was silly dreaming of electric sheep or counting backwards or counting forwards.

My new laptop keyboard arrived the other day. A few days after using my laptop for the first time, I was annoyed that I chose a laptop with a shiny surface. The fingerprints came up really quickly because of the smooth, shiny surface. I was happy to find out that this new laptop keyboard has a matte surface, so I shouldn’t get fingerprints on it as easily. I won’t be replacing it yet though, not until my current keyboard actually needs replacing.

I don’t know if anyone remembers my A Letter to a Domain project, but I moved it to letters.georgie.nu and hope to write more soon. 🙂

Comments on this post

i really dislike it when i meet a bias teacher. it’s just sooo unfair. it rains alot at where i live too, i definitely agree on the whole “raining makes me feel lazy” thing! it’s always summer at where i live (Malaysia) so the rain will a least bring the temperature down a bit 🙂 That’s one scary nightmare. I always wanted to give yoga a try but never seem to come around to it. Hmmmm.

Rain affects my mood too 3: as soon as it rains I wish it wouldn’t. The rain we’ve been getting the last few days is just ridiculously relentless 😰. I know it’s important and all, but seriously. Just a day without it would be nice, then I could tolerate some more. tehee

You should look into treadmills 😛 ones these days are amazingly comfortable, but they’re pricey ngeo

Wow, that must’ve been scary when you were five *hugggggggggggg* D;
my first nightmare that I can remember now was riding around on a dune buggy on an endless hilly desert of rainbow carpet under a pitch black sky. It was scary but I thought it was awesome in retrospect /um

I like listening to myself breathe, gets me to sleep in not much time at all. Strech also helps, if you do it between dinner and sleep 🙂

👍

LOL I am the same…I can get very irritable and I will snap at my mom or sis if they bug me during this period of time T_T.

I hate teachers that can’t appreciate efforts that students put in. I think grading should be based on the progress a student makes throughout the course. If they are consistently working hard, giving their best I don’t see why instructors need to deduct points unnecessarily >_> I had a similar teacher for Arts History and when I asked her the reason for a A- she tells me “you are the top of the class” but that doesn’t mean she can deduct points for no reason. She screwed up my perfect GPA @sf#!kd*&t

Rain can definitely affect my mood too…at times I like it but I hate cold rain. I can understand how you feel about not being able to go out running…its the same with biking. One of these days I will invest in a gym equipment because I hate going to community gyms.

I have trouble sleeping too…my brain just doesn’t stop. My body is usually tired and wants to rest but my stupid brain keeps thinking about nonsensical things.

I get weird nightmares as well. A lot of times even now I am scared to go back to sleep after a particularly scary one. One of the reason’s I don’t like watching horror movies is because my mind uses those ideas later in my dreams lol.

I don’t like pitch darkness either, but I think you sleep better if it is more darker, then again it differs from person to person. Shadows can be creepy for me but if I had memories like yours then maybe I can be less scared of those 😊

Usually I will do something else till I feel really sleepy. I will watch something or read, sometimes listen to music. Tricky part with music is that if I listen to a more lively song then my sleep vanishes lol.

Woot for new keyboard…I hate fingerprints and glossy surfaces >_<. I might get a netbook or blackberry playbook at some point…how I love my gadgets 😆.

I think rain makes everyone feels lazy.. when rain comes, all I can think of is cuddle under the blanket and sleep OR enjoy a hot beverage while playing the pc. 😆 I just loveeee rain and its smell,lols 😎
when I was a kid, and had nightmares about freaky monsters, or, like your case, meeting a dinosaur, I was happy. I remembered I was happy with all fierce animals; even dinosaurs or lions. I just love animals even if they’re carnivores,lols. weird thing is,when I was a kid, I was terrified by thunder…. 😤 even though now I love rain like crazy.
pitch black can be comforting and scary,depending on where we are… but I like pitch black 👍 I just dislike light.. I even prefer playing video games in the dark rather than having to turn on the light.
you are awesomeee~ I don’t understand how people like doing yoga. I love silence and peace but yoga requires patience and this meditation thing…. I can’t live long if I do yoga. 😛

I hate having bad teachers, the atmosphere around them just seems to bring your grade down :/

Wow, I hope you don’t have that tutor again. And that you can get to sleep.
I don’t know that I’m even ready to remember my nightmares or try to figure them out. Even from my childhood.
I love the dark. I don’t know that I like pitch black but darkness is comforting to me too.
______________
When the phrase “Pepsi or Coke” comes around I’m thinking of the drinks not the companies. If it was “Pepsi or Coco-Cola” then I could see the relationship of the compaines and not specifically the drink “Coke”
That’s what I though the tag meant. Because actually I’m a Coco-Cola fan. They own Sprite my favorite drink.

You’ve been blogging about that database project a lot, so I understand why you’d be pissed. I hate biased teachers. They take away all your motivation to try to do well in the subject!

It rains a lot around here, but I can’t say that the rain itself makes me happy or sad. If the weather doesn’t allow me to do something I was looking forward to, I get pissed. If it suspends classes, I’m (usually but not always) happy. If it classes are suspended because of terrible destruction, then I feel sad and guilty for wanting class suspension. It’s not the rain, but what it does.

I remember this one nightmare from when I was 4 distinctly, and, while it doesn’t seem to scary to me now, it was scary to me then, as a little kid actually experiencing the dream. I remember crying so much when I woke up. I called my mom too, and she stayed with me while I cried.

I don’t find shadows scary either. Darkness is scary, but you need light to have shadows.

I don’t have much trouble sleeping at all now, but, before, I’d listen to the air conditioner. Listening to music usually makes me excited rather than sleepy, so I’ve never really done that.

I get annoyed with fingerprints. I’m constantly cleaning them off my phone.

What a coincidence. I’m also a moody person, as in having mild wood swings at times. I like Yoga too. I used to do the Assanna stance.

Lovely blog. Congrats on your new keyboard by the way. Cheers!:-)

new layout! 😄 pretty! (lol i’m so slow)
Yea, I’m one of those ppl that are comfortable in the dark. I’m not scare of shadows either. I would live in the darkness if I can. It’s weird how your nightmare consist of dinosaurs playing ball 😆 It’s really hard for me to sleep at night..I’ve tried counting sheep and tried that bead thing too! Nothing works =(

I like the rain. When it rains I turn into a polar bear during the winter…I sleep all day hahaha

I like shiny things..but I hate how easily fingerprints gets imprinted on them too.

Rain. Rain. Everywhere there’s rain. For the past weeks, I’ve been a bit optimistic because of all the sun and warmth, but now we’re expecting heavy downpour the days to come. I feel like I don’t want to get out of bed. Urgh.

Mean teacher 😦 There’s always going to be at least one or two at every school, there’s no way from it.

I’m also scared of the dark. I can’t sleep unless it’s pitch black, but since I’m scared I sleep with the covers over my head. It’s like it shields me from the monsters lol.

Ah I’m sorry about that teachers. Teachers are supposed to not be biased, they’re supposed to be fair and nice, but so many are just pricks.

I find that sometimes I can be really moody and other times I will just be the happiest person on earth. It’s crazy how the weather can effect your mood though. For example, in school – on dreary days, everybody’s mood is just… down. But when it’s sunny, everybody is suddenly happy and hyper. 😛

I feel like I’m scared of having nightmares. I’ll do anything in my power to avoid them, with involved not watching scary movies at night. 😦 Whenever I can’t get to sleep, I really just keep closing my eyes and coming up with stories in my head until I do. I never tried those techniques like, for example, counting sheep, because I just never thought they would work. 😦 Falling asleep is usually only a problem for me though when I have a lot of my mind (EG, exam results the next day), or if I’m sleeping at a strange time (during the holidays I sleep at like 1am, and on school days I sleep at 10, so on the day before a new school year/term, I won’t be able to sleep.) 😝

I miss winter… I love the cold weather… I want the rainy, drizzly weather from autumn… Luckily it’s all coming soon for this part of the world! 🙂

I used to count or think of my math book to help me get to sleep. 😑 Pft. That doesn’t work anymore. Your dream sounds a lot like what my dreams are often like. 😞 TWISTED. 😳 I’m sorry, I’m not trying to insult you or anything. 🙁 😤 😠 😡 Blah. I keep having twisted dreams, and it’s just comforting to know that someone else can have such a nightmare kind of similar to my nightmares. It makes me feel less close to crazy. 🙂

Yay for the new keyboard! 🙂

Your letters project is pretty cute. 😛

I think it’s a good thing that you’re dissatisfied with a “pass” for a mark when you worked harder for it. Pshh, stupid tutor. Do you prefer summer over winter? Sun is good C: Does it get really sunny in the summer? You remembered that dream? Wow, that’s pretty long ago. I guess it had a sort of impact on you that made it memorable. The older I get the more elements of reality show up in my dreams. When I was younger it was filled with fantasy and things I didn’t recognize. Do you have that too? If you have a lot on your mind when you go to sleep, I read somewhere that it can help to write your worries and current affairs down in a journal. Or reading, so even if you don’t fall asleep very quickly, you will have done something good with your time. The milk carton is awesome C: ✌️

I hardly ever have nightmares too, and when I do they’re rather terrifying. I guess that’s why they’re called nightmares. But they’re also usually very weird as well. Though I’ve never been afraid of the dark, a long time ago my former best friend used to be so whenever she slept over at my house and we went out into the living room after the lights went out she had to hold my hand. It was kind of cute looking back at it. 😆

I love the rain. It my opinion, it’s absolutely gorgeous. However, I absolutely hate severe storms with thunder, lightening and the like. Those kinds of rains are completely terrifying. But normal rain, no matter how light or heavy… I’m not bothered by. In fact, it makes me rather happy even if I do end up sopping wet… which is usually the case. 😆

Indeed, there are tons of thoughts in this post!

First off, I really feel how you feel when it rains. As soon as it becomes gloomy, pretty much my mood changes to a plain and boring one. People can’t construct a decent conversation with me during such times.

I’ve also done yoga and it only doesn’t help me get to bed. It also helps me to ease my mood especially during the times I am sad because of the rain.

In short, try doing yoga when it’s raining. It usually cheers me up. 🙂

you have every right to be upset about your grade. And looking back ten years from now, you’ll still be upset 😛 Like how I’m still mad about my stupid 10th grade english teacher. ‘Tis the way the cookie crumbles.

It’s weird how you can remember dreams for so long. I have this vague memory of this nightmare involving an octopus when I was like 3, lol. I remember some other dreams from when I was real little, but I think only because I thought they were real at the time. I actually remember telling my mom that she could drive the car from the back seat, she’s done it once 😄

The only thing I’ve found that helps me sleep is making up a story. They say that picturing yourself in a peaceful setting is the best way of falling asleep.

You can always purchase a keyboard cover for your laptop. 🙂 I bought one for mine from eBay (cheap under a $1) when I first bought it because my last laptop’s got dirty after a year or so and I couldn’t believe I had been so careless with such an expensive machine. I’ve been using a clear generic cover for my current one and not only does it make the keys matte (and mute the sound when typing), but when I remove the cover it’s still brand new underneath. ♥️ It’s much easier to find a cover for smaller laptops since there’s more people who have those, but I managed to find one for my “16” one.

TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE NIGHTMARE-
but i love the sound of rain and being lazyyy
heh
It’s just rainning outside though I couldn’t sleep well. The sound of thundering made me feel scared.